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Romance Tips: How to Make Your Anniversary Truly Special

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Romance can be hard to come by in a marriage, but your anniversary is coming up and you need some date ideas! Here’s how to fill your anniversary with romance.

Whether your date nights have grown generally boring or you’re looking to really set this year apart from previous ones, your anniversary is a great time to plan a truly special and exciting date. Though some people value anniversary celebrations more than others, no one can resist a spectacular night of celebrating. You don’t even need a big budget to pull off an out-of-the-ordinary date. Plan ahead, consider your partner’s likes and dislikes, and get those creative juices flowing.

Planning Ahead

Depending on what you’re hoping to do for your anniversary, you should start planning anywhere from two weeks out to a full year beforehand. The first two things to take into account are your budget and whether or not you’re getting a gift for your S.O. If you’ve got a sizable budget or have lots of time to start saving money, you can come up with some pretty outlandish date concepts.

If you don’t already have a physical gift in mind, your date can actually become your gift, which then gives your budget a boost. They say that people who spend money on memory-making experiences are happier than those who buy tangible items. Unless you know that your mate expects a piece of jewelry or techie gadgetry every year, give them the gift of a truly memorable time together.

Take them to a concert for a band that they love or to a major sporting event. Do yourself one better and go to something that’s relevant to your relationship. Did you propose at a baseball game? Did you meet at a certain rock club? Go back there and recreate that special night. The tickets are your gift to them, and the awesome anniversary date is built right in.

Go Out Of Town

If your budget goes even further, give the gift of a trip. Plan a weekend getaway. It can be to somewhere that your S.O. has talked about wanting to visit, or it could be to somewhere else equally thoughtful. Maybe you no longer live where you first met.

Go back to the town where your romance blossomed and visit your old haunts. The act of being somewhere other than your current home will instantly spice things up. Demonstrating your thoughtfulness by picking a meaningful destination will show your mate that you’re still in love with him or her.

Local Date Ideas

Of course, if you don’t have the budget for a trip or a more expensive night out, you can still plan a great anniversary date. Plan a night or day full of the things you both enjoy doing most. Eat at you two’s favorite restaurant, grab a drink or two at your favorite bar, and do at least one thing that you both really enjoy.

If you’re both into Latin dancing, find a salsa night somewhere near you. Or if you both love going to the movies, go to a late night showing of something funny or romantic that will put you both in a good mood. Lots of cities have smaller theaters that sometimes show older movies, so you might even be able to find an older favorite of both of yours to watch on the big screen.

Sure, dinner and a movie or drinks and dancing might seem like typical dates, but if you put that extra special spin on it, it becomes a much more interesting night. Just make sure that whatever you do is something both you and your S.O. really enjoy. That way you’re both guaranteed to have a great time. Then head back in for the night and let your great moods carry over into passionate sex.

Low Cost Date Ideas

Should all else fail and your budget be nearly non-existent, remember that a picnic is always romantic, particularly after dark. Even if it’s just in your own backyard, dining al fresco and imbibing a little wine under the stars can make for an incredibly lovely evening. Depending on the remoteness of your location, bring a few blankets along and you could end up creating some extra hot memories, too. You’ll cherish them forever, even if you can’t tell anyone else about them.

Long Term Relationship: How NOT To Be A Nag

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A long term relationship take some effort to keep. Nagging is one of those things that can destroy long term relationships if you let it – here’s how to stop!

Are You A Constant Nagger?

No one likes being called a nag. The term is full of all sorts of negative connotations. Yet all of us have probably done it to someone about something at one point or another. Maybe you find yourself repeatedly asking your mate to put their dirty laundry in the hamper and not on the floor. Perhaps you’ve requested over and over that your partner remember to deposit that check at the bank. Whatever the point of it, you know that it’s no fun being on either end of it.

When you’re the one being nagged, you feel annoyed with your S.O. Their nagging is a reminder that you’re not living up to their standards on this particular issue, and that never feels good. If you’re the one doing the fussing, you feel frustrated and exasperated. It’s not as though you want to get on to someone—you just want them to do something the first time you ask them to do it. The worst part of nagging is that you start to feel more like an angry parent and scolded child than a pair of two adults in a romantic long term relationship.

Are You On The Giving Or Receiving End?

The key to halting this in your long term relationship is being considerate and forgiving of each other. If you’re typically on the receiving end of it, ask yourself why. When your partner asks you do them a favor by picking up the dry cleaning once a week, be considerate of their wishes. Surely that partner does things for you. Maybe you get distracted easily and forget to pick up those clothes. To your partner that seems inconsiderate. That’s why they become annoyed and then get on to you about it.

Since you know that you’re prone to forgetting things, come up with a way to remind yourself, like putting a reminder into your phone. Sure, you might still forget from time to time, but if you do a better job overall, your partner will be more likely to forgive you when you do screw up. That means less fussing for you to have to endure.

Give Yourself A Reality Check

Should you be the one constantly fussing, try to check in with reality. If you’re doing it about little things, you might want to consider letting the issue go. Say your significant other always leaves the dishes on the counter instead of putting them into the dishwasher. This is probably a bad habit of theirs that they’re not likely going to change.

Instead of wasting your time and energy on fussing at your partner about it, just put the dishes away yourself. It probably takes less effort for you to load the dishwasher than it would to regularly complain to your S.O. about it. Don’t ever forget that you probably have a bad habit or two that bothers your mate. You’re not perfect, therefore you shouldn’t expect perfection from them either.

Is The Issue Bigger Than The Little Stuff?

What if there’s a bigger issue at hand than dry cleaning and dishes? Maybe you’ve been nagging your partner to stop smoking or cut back on their drinking. Instead of nagging in the moment, sit down and have a heart to heart with your mate. Do this at a time when you’re both in good moods and the problematic issue is not directly at hand. You truly are trying to help them overcome big problems here, but nagging may not be the right way to go about it.

Tell them how much you care about them, and why you need them to break their unhealthy habits for you. Then you should work together to come up with a plan. Promise them that you won’t be on their back about it every five minutes if they show you that they’re working to get better. Seek outside help or marriage counseling so that you’re not the lone person policing the issue. Above all, make sure that your S.O. knows that you’re doing this because you love them. If they love you as well, they’ll understand how well-meaning you are being.

Being A Supportive Partner When Times Get Rough

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A relationship go through many ups and downs. Here’s how to be a great spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend in your relationshipp when things are difficult.

For Better Or For Worse

Everyone who’s ever been to a wedding or seen one on TV or in a movie knows the gist of typical wedding vows. There’s a line in there about sticking it out whether you’re healthy or sick, rich or poor. This shouldn’t just apply to married couples, of course. If you’re in a relationship with someone and they fall ill or lose their job, you should be there for them. You would want them to help you through your rough time, so you should treat them in the same manner.

How To Show Love When Things Get Hard

There are so many different ways that you can show your love during tough times. Whether your S.O. has lost their job or a loved one, just being there to listen to them will get you off to a good start. Offer to help where you can, but never be forceful about it. Say your boyfriend just got laid off from his job. Give him a few days to be upset, and then ask if there’s anything you can do to help. If he says he doesn’t need help, keep in mind that his ego is suffering.

Forcing your help on him right now might just make him feel worse and in even less control of his life. So give him space where he needs it. When someone is upset and hurting, it’s important to be observant. Follow their cues and you’ll help them in the best way possible.

Empathy Isn’t Everything

While empathy is incredibly important, don’t ever pretend to understand what your mate is going through if you haven’t been there yourself. If your girlfriend’s parent just passed away, and both of yours are still alive and healthy, you can’t tell her that you get what she’s experiencing. If you do, that could start an argument.

When a person is grieving, they feel like no one can really understand their pain. Your job is to make sure that your mate doesn’t feel alone. Tell her that, even if you can’t truly understand her particular sorrow, you want her to know that you’re here for her. If she needs to cry, yell, or just be held, you’ll be with her for all of it.

Be Throughful

Perform thoughtful acts without being asked to do so. If your S.O. typically does the cooking or the cleaning, take on some of that work so he or she can have extra time to do whatever helps them mellow out. Encourage them to get some form of exercise, which will help them feel better. Gently nudge them out into the outside world so they can’t just sit around all day focusing on their unhappiness. Of course, if they resist, never push them.

Perhaps if they’re not up for going out, you can coax them into watching their favorite funny movie or playing a game they like. Just try to get them smiling again. Sex can also be very healing, though you should try to be understanding if your significant other needs a break. When you’re stressed or depressed, your sex drive can take a real dive, so don’t take it personally if they’re not really in the mood.

Be Kind

Ultimately, the key to being a really supportive S.O. is to make sure that you are there when you’re needed. Be respectful of your mate’s need for alone time as well as together time, and never force things on someone who’s upset. Treat you S.O. kindly during a difficult time, and they will appreciate it on many levels, for many years to come.

What To Do When Your Parents Hate Your Partner

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Here’s a seemingly simple scenario. You love your parents and you love your significant other. It’s finally time for your mate and your family to meet. They get together and they absolutely love each other. Why shouldn’t they? You’re their common bond, and if you love all of them, why wouldn’t they love each other? Unfortunately, life isn’t always so simple.

Oftentimes the people that we love don’t get along together. If you’ve recently learned that your parents are incredibly displeased with your choice of a partner, you may very well be reeling. Do they see some horrible quality in your S.O. that you’ve been blind to? Or are they just being ridiculous in their own expectations for you?

Consider Major Negative Feedback

If they give you majorly negative feedback on your S.O., it’s worth considering it. They may have a really good reason for not liking your boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe they know that he or she has cheated on you. You might be okay with that, but they aren’t. Maybe he/she was really rude to them and openly disrespectful of you in front of them. If these are the sort of complaints they’ve made to you, you should think really hard about why you’re with your mate.

They know you pretty well, and they may be right in thinking your S.O. is wrong for you. If their reasons for disliking your partner are miniscule or unfounded, however, don’t even bother considering a breakup. Instead, start thinking about how you’ll smooth things over between your parents and mate.

How To Get Them To Reconsider

The first step in getting them to reconsider their stance is to give them a great sales pitch on your S.O. Give them evidence to negate their fears, however irrational. Talk about all of the wonderful things that your partner does for you. Show your parents just how truly in love you are with this person. Prove to them that your significant other is a great source of happiness for you. It can even help to point out all the ways that they’re different from and better than past boyfriends or girlfriends that also met with your parent’s disapproval.

Once you’ve convinced them to give your partner a second chance, come up with a good way to get them together again. Make sure it’s in a setting that they will likely feel comfortable and happy in. Better still, work in a way for your S.O. to show off some of their better qualities. If they’re a great cook, the two of you can make dinner for your parents. If they are baseball nuts and so is your mate, go to a game together so they can talk shop and bond over a mutual interest. They may see your partner in a new, brighter light.

When The Issue Is More Serious

What if the problem is more irreparable, though? What if your parents are showing an ugly side to their personalities? Perhaps they’ve decided that they don’t like your partner because he or she is of a different race or religion from you. Maybe they think he or she is too poor or from the wrong class standing. You’re going to have to fight an uphill battle here, and you may not be able to win.

This is when you might have to make the hard choice to cut your parents out of your life, at least until they can be more accepting. It could be really difficult to do, but if you’re deeply in love with your S.O.—if they’re someone you may very well marry and/or have children with—you can’t give them up because they are being ridiculous. It’s a hard but important decision that you must make.

Hopefully, it won’t come to that. Remind them that if they love you and want you to be happy, they’ll respect your choice in a partner. Be patient and help them learn to accept your S.O. Sometimes time is the best bandage for a situation such as this.

Top 5 Reasons Not To Cheat

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Cheating is almost never a good idea – here are 5 great reasons to avoid cheating on your partner.

What She Said:

  1. I want to honor my vows. “For better or worse” is what I agreed to – and staying faithful means things will stay on “the better” end of the spectrum.
  2. The kids. I don’t have ‘em, but I know a lot of couples that choose to act on the up and up – for themselves as much as an example for their children.
  3. It should be number one, but my favorite reason is simple: love. My husband is my best friend; I’d never do anything to hurt him.
  4. The grass is not always greener! Sure, it’s nice to daydream about that hunk giving you the eye at the grocery store – but he probably isn’t any better than what you have at home. And at least you’ve got that one trained!
  5. Lying corrodes the soul. A good marriage is based on mutual admiration and respect, not deceit.

You don’t have to be married to honor vows. If you’ve agreed, as a couple, to be monogamous that’s enough to remove you from the market.

Monogamy Doesn’t Have To Be Boring

Monogamy doesn’t have to spell monotony. Bet you haven’t heard that one before, but it’s true! Think of ways to keep it hot with the one you’ve already got. Fantasizing is allowed – getting on with Brad Pitt in your mind can be satisfying and save your marriage. A win/win!

Trust & Intimacy Is Rewarding

Building intimacy in the long-term is a great challenge – and a great reward. It takes time to develop. Flirtation is fleeting, but a deep bond can last the rest of your life. Before you think about stepping out of your committed relationship, take a moment to think of the consequences. Trust can be a fragile thing, and once it’s broken it can be difficult to repair. Take stock of what you’ve got.

What He Said:

  1. It’s called technology. It will fuck you, and not in a fun way. Anything you do online is recorded, somewhere. It’s usually not an issue, but when infidelity happens, it’s easier to prove and to nail your ass with.
  2. It’s called the Internet. If you cheat and you piss off your significant other, they can and often will smear your ass all over the Internet. That means any sexy videos or photos you’ve taken, any naughty text messages, anything that can make you look bad to a perspective employer will be put online and will be easily found by perspective employers (who are looking for that kind of thing. Perverts).
  3. The juice is almost always not worth the squeeze. Assuming that you cheat with someone and that sex is the greatest sex ever had in human history, it will still not be worth the hell your fidelity will put all parties through. Your other half is going to rip you a new one, over the course of several years, and then the legal system will reopen those still healing wounds and rip an additional one into the one he/she just ripped into you. It’s not worth it, even if you have some crazy, Justin Timberlake on tour sex.
  4. The Chris Rock rule. Many people violate, what I call “The Chris Rock Rule of Infidelity” which states: the person you cheat on your partner with must be as hot or hotter than your partner. If you bang someone way hotter than your partner, well, at least they can understand on some level. You had a chance with someone way out of your league and you took it. They will be hurt, but they won’t be mad. If you just bang some skank who happens to be willing to do things your partner won’t, well, that’s your ass. She will be way pissed because you banged someone lower on the quality scale than you have waiting for you at home. If you do this, you are an idiot.
  5. Fantasy is not usually the reality. Say you’re a 40 something guy and some hot 19 year old is all up on you and wants it. Bad. Do you really think it will be as good as you imagine? Sure, she’s hot and young, but she’s also young and crazy. She’s going to go apeshit when it’s just sex for you, and even if she doesn’t, it probably won’t live up to your fantasy. How Could it?