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Q&A: Dating A Younger Man – Is It OK?

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A lot of peole have questions about age differences when dating. Is it ok to date a younger man or a younger woman? It depends. Sometimes age differences are a big deal and sometimes they’re not. Here’s how to know if the age difference between you and your beau is a big deal, and what you should do if it is.

Question: I’m 17 and have recently developed a crush on someone younger than me. He’s about 15. It sounds really bad when I think about it but he doesn’t look 14 or 15 at all. It’s not a serious crush but I like him enough to want to talk to him. He seems to act like he likes me, but I don’t really know if he does. Is it okay to date him even if he’s that young?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXzjftuymsQ[/youtube]

When Age Doesn’t Matter

When you and your partner are older, a large gap in age generally doesn’t matter. If you’re 65 and he’s 75, it’s not as big a deal than if you have a 10 year age gap with your partner when you’re younger. Smaller age gaps matter even less as you and your partner grow older. Age gaps when you are younger, however, matter a great deal not only because of legal issues but also because you and your partner are very different emotionally and mentally. Even a two year age difference in your teens can make a big difference in emotional maturity between you and your partner.

When Age Does Matter

Age differences matter a lot when you and your partner are young. For example, if your partner is 15 and you are 20 or even 25, age gaps are a big issue. Even small age gaps, such as your partner being 15 and you being 17 can be a problem. First, think about the legal issues that come up when you date a younger person, especially if you’re bordering on 17 or 18. The laws differ from state to state, but dating a younger person could get you slapped with a statutory rape charge even if you and your partner are only a year or two apart.

Dating Without Sex

If you really want to date someone younger than you, or if you’re the younger of the couple, you can still date – without sex. To avoid getting into trouble, simply focus on getting to know your partner. Go on group dates to the bowling alley or to the movies, or go out to dinner together. Talk about your favorite things, things that mean a lot to you and encourage your partner to do the same. Really get to know each other to find out if you really want to take this relationship to the next level when you and your partner are old enough to legally be intimate with each other. Remember that there are more ways to be close to someone than through sex. Hold hands, hug and cuddle with each other without having sex. Nowadays, even sexting and sending naked pictures of yourself to your partner’s phone can get you into trouble if your partner is under 18, so be extremely careful. Practice patience until legally, you’re both ready.

Q&A: How To Cope With A Long Distance Relationship

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Long distance relationships are on of the hardest things to handle when you find someone you’re really into. If they’re moving away or you are, or if they’re in the military, facing being away from your partner for an extended period of time is nerve wracking. How can you make the most of your long distance relationship?

Question: Dan and Jen, I really need your help! I’ve found the most amazing guy, and we are currently in a serious relationship. The problem is that he’s in the Navy, and will be shipped out in only a month and a half! He keeps assuring me that he’ll never let me go, but it frightens me we might ‘slip apart’. Do you know how I can cope with him leaving?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4gLLV6FNu8[/youtube]

Stay In Contact Any Way You Can

In this day in age, it’s easier than ever to keep in contact with someone over long distances. Cell phones with text, picture and video capabilities will help you feel connected to your partner when you’re away from him physically. Send him a picture of you at the movies that says “wish you were here” or “thinking of you.” Videotape important moments and send them to him. You can also use video chat and instant messaging on your computer to have longer conversations that can even seem like you’re together in the same room. You can also use cell phones, text and video chat to keep each other as sexually satisfied as possible with racy emails or dirty sexts.

Communicate With Each Other

Being completely open and honest with each other at all times during the long distance relationship is absolutely essential to keeping the relationship stable. Often, keeping things from your partner or even telling little white lies can snowball and create a big rift between you and your partner. Tell your partner how you’re feeling and encourage him to do the same. Talk about how you’re going to handle it when the need for physical contact arises and you two aren’t together. Talk about how you can make the situation temporary and make plans in the long term to eventually be together in the same place.

See Him As Often As Possible

One of the biggest reasons that  a long distance relationship don’t work out is that it can be difficult for one or both partners to make plans to see each other in person very often. Take some time to try to work out how often you and your partner can feasibly travel to see each other and try to make plans to do so as much as you can. Physical contact – with or without sex – is an important part of keeping the flame alive in your relationship. If you and your partner don’t make the effort to see each other over several months, it makes it easier for you and your partner to start drifting apart. With time, effort and honest communication, you and your partner can make the long distance relationship work until you can have a real relationship with each other.

Q&A: Relationship Trouble – Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

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Relationship problems can come in a variety of forms, and they differ greatly from relationship to relationship. Some relationship troubles can be worked out, but other, more serious issues can pave the way to a breakup. How do you know if your relationship problems can be fixed or if you just need to walk away?

Question: Hi Dan and Jenn. I need help with my relationship. I have a big problem with my boyfriend. We’ve been together over a year now and the problem we have is getting worse. I’ve told him how I feel and how much what he does hurts me and makes me feel insignificant, and when he says he’ll stop it, he does it again and again. The three main problems are:
1. He doesn’t talk or text for long periods of time because he’s too busy playing computer games.
2. He regularly shouts over top of me or interrupts me when I’m speaking, whether it’s a serious situation or not. I can be crying my eyes out talking to him and he will still do it.
3. Finally, he sometimes shouts at me, and not just raising his voice, he really shouts loudly, my parents worry about it and ask if I’m okay, and it honestly does frighten me sometimes.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mLcFPKR8Ec[/youtube]

He Won’t Change

If you’ve talked to your partner about the behavior that bothers you, especially if you’ve mentioned it more than once and communicated to him clearly how you feel, and he refuses to change, it’s time to consider the fact that he probably won’t ever change. You can’t force someone to change their behavior, you can only talk to them about how it affects you and hope that they see how much better the relationship can be if they change their ways. If he won’t change, the only thing you can do is change yourself. You can change how you react to his behavior, but stop and think before you do. Do you want to be ignoring his behavior forever?

Respect Yourself

An abusive relationship isn’t always one where one partner physically hits another. A lot of abuse is verbal and emotional. If you stay in an abusive relationship – no matter what kind of abuse you’re living with – you’re doing yourself a disservice and disrespecting yourself. Many times, if your partner can’t or won’t change his ways, you’ve got to take a stand for yourself. If he won’t respect you, you have to respect you – or who will? Don’t rely on other people to treat you with respect. Treat yourself with respect and don’t stand for any kind of abuse, be it physical, sexual or verbal and emotional.

You Deserve A Happy Relationship

No matter what you think or what your partner may tell you, you absolutely deserve a relationship that makes you happy. If you aren’t happy with who you’re with now, it’s time to find someone you are happy with. Life is too short and your time is too precious to spend it being unhappy with someone who refuses to respect you and be respectful to you. While no man can “make” you happy, you don’t have to be miserable with someone who treats you poorly. If your current relationship isn’t giving you what you want, it’s time to walk away. Take some time and think about what you do want in a relationship and start looking for that.

Q&A: Personal Question For Dan & Jennifer – Why Do You Make All These Videos?

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While we don’t talk much about ourselves on our show, lots of people ask us personal questions about why we do what we do. Making an online video show and working to help millions of people with love, sex and relationship questions is simply something we love to do and we do it every day. Here’s why we’re passionate about it.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn – why do you make all these videos and help out people? Good job and keep it up!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMjawiVMXn8[/youtube]

Our Passion

We love to help people find happiness in their relationships and their lives. Everyone deserves to be happy, and everyone is worth it! People struggle every day to find answers to questions about love, sex and relationships and we’re trying to make it easier for everyone to find the information they’re looking for. We believe strongly in making informed decisions and being armed with knowledge when it comes to making choices in your every day life. We believe in safe sex and open and honest sex education. We’re passionate about helping people to solve problems in their lives and learn the tools they need for healthy, happy and satisfying relationships.

Our New Video Shows

We love what we do so much that we’ve started two new video shows and websites this year! We’ve had so much success in developing the Ask Dan And Jennifer website that we wanted to create a site that shows people step by step how to create a powerful and successful online blog the way we did. Blog Success Journal is where we give tips, tricks and advice on everything blog and recommend the tools that we’ve used and love so other people can learn how to set up their own blog or website. The second website we’ve launched this year is Today Is That Day. We found that we enjoyed helping people so much with their questions about sex and relationships that we realized we wanted to answer other questions too! On Today Is That Day, we answer questions about weight loss, personal improvement and self awareness and growth.

Our Opinions

We’re not doctors and we’re not therapists. We’re highly opinionated people who love to talk! We love hearing the opinions of others, too. Our online video show allows us to share our opinions with others as well as see what other people have to say about the topic we’re talking about. We love to get people talking with each other too, because our motto is, “question everything!” We believe it’s important to think about something and question it instead of just accepting it because it’s what you were taught or what you heard. We love it when people ask questions, because it means they’re thinking and trying to get some real answers for themselves.

Check out our YouTube channel to watch our latest videos, and be sure to leave a comment about what you think! You can also visit our Facebook page to see what other people are saying about our latest articles, tips and videos. Get in on the discussion!

Q&A: How to Fix A Cheating Partner

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If you’ve ever been cheated on, you know the pain and anguish that accompanies it. The feelings of rejection and helplessness are almost unbearable, but rest assured there is something you can do to help the situation. Here’s how you can help change a cheating partner – if they’re willing to change too.

Question: How can one change a lady (or man) who cheats a lot?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHAhSSvRN3g[/youtube]

Cheating Is A Result Of A Need Not Being Met

When a partner cheats on another, it is usually because some physical or emotional need isn’t being met. Many partners have affairs because they don’t feel appreciated or feel confident and seek the approval of someone else to satisfy that need. They may not be getting enough sex or having satisfying sex, or they may want to feel in control or have repressed anger towards their partner that they’re not letting out. Either way, the one thing that is common between almost all cheaters is that they have some kind of need that they aren’t getting from their current partners. Once you begin to understand the reasons behind cheating, you can begin to move foward.

Help Make Your Relationship Better

If you want your partner to stop cheating, talk to them about it. Ask them what they need to have in your current relationship to feel satisfied and let them know you’re going to do your best to meet those needs. If it’s purely sex, ask them what you can do to make sex hotter and more satisfying for your partner. If your partner is seeking the approval of someone else, stop and think about how you’re treating your partner in the relationship. Are you putting them down? Do you criticise them often? If so, your partner may be seeking time with someone who simply dotes on them and enjoys spending time with them without the criticism. Take the time to analyze exactly what is behind your partner’s cheating, because it may not be what you think. Make the initiative to change the relationship and try to meet those needs at home, so your partner doesn’t have to look elsewhere.

Is Your Partner Willing To Change?

That said, you can only do so much to change the relationship to try to meet your partner’s needs. Your partner must have the desire to stop cheating and work on being more involved in the relationship too. They must be willing to not only change themselves, but they have to be open and honest enough to let you know what is truly causing them to cheat. If your partner simply shuts down when you try to talk to them about how to change the situation, flat out denies cheating (with substantial proof otherwise) or doesn’t desire to change their ways at all, it might be time to think about moving on. You deserve to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship with someone who is faithful to you and that takes two people to accomplish. When a partner cheats, it takes two people to fix it. Both partners have to be willing to make changes.