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You are here: Home / Archives for masturbation

Is It Unhealthy To Masturbate Daily?

By loveandsex

Masturbation is a healthy and normal part of growing up for both men and women, but how can you tell when it becomes too much? Is it possible to have an addiction to it and if so, can you do serious harm to yourself by masturbating too much? Here’s what you want to know about masturbating and when and where to draw the line.

Question: I am 16 year old man and I masturbate once a day. I began masturbating when I was 12 – is that unhealthy or I will have problems in future? Thanks for your help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYliNavlCnM[/youtube]

Masturbation Is Perfectly Healthy And Natural

Masturbation is a perfectly healthy and natural part of everyone’s sex life. Both men and women masturbate, although male masturbation is quite a bit more common than the female counterpart. However, learning how to pleasure yourself is an important part of going through puberty and can help you translate your sexual desires and preferences to your partners as you become sexually active. There are lots of benefits to self-love, including:

  • It helps relieve sexual frustration and pent up sexual feelings
  • It helps reduce unwanted erections
  • When done properly, it can help reduce or prevent premature ejaculation
  • Even daily masturbation can be helpful if you’re not addicted to it

How To Tell If You’re Addicted To Masturbation

There are many ways to tell if you’re addicted to masturbating, and they’re similar to the signs people exhibit when they’re addicted to anything, including sex, drugs, food and alcohol. If you think you might be addicted to pleasuring yourself, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you think about it often? Is it the primary thing you’re thinking about throughout the day?
  • Do you find it difficult to focus on other things because you’re looking forward to it?
  • Do you plan your activities around the times you know you’re going to masturbate?
  • Are you masturbating so much that you’re causing your penis to become raw or painful?
  • Would you rather masturbate than have sex with your partner?

Even if you self pleasure often, that doesn’t automatically mean that you are addicted to it and need to stop. If you start noticing that all you really want to do is get it on with yourself, you’ve probably crossed the line. Masturbation should not rule your life!

What To Do If You’re Addicted To Masturbating

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions and you think you may be addicted to it, it’s okay to seek help. Addiction comes in many forms (it’s not just drugs and alcohol) and can seriously wreak havoc on your life if you don’t check out some resources that can help you tone down your addiction to masturbating.

If you’re not sure where to go to get help for a masturbation addiction, start by talking to your doctor. Don’t be embarrassed – your doctor has heard it all before and then some. Your doctor can do a thorough examination to determine whether you’re really doing harm to yourself by masturbating too much.

This will most likely only include a series of questions similar to those above rather than a physical examination unless you’ve got something going on down there (such as raw sores or bumps on the penis) that might be caused by excessive masturbation. Your doctor can refer you to someone that can help you talk through whatever issues you have that may be causing you to want to masturbate so often. Just remember that there is nothing wrong with seeking help for a problem and working towards bettering yourself!

Tips For Healthy Masturbation

If you’re masturbating once a day (or less, or more) and you’re not addicted to it, just enjoy it and enjoy the benefits that masturbating has to offer. If you’re leading an otherwise healthy and active life outside of your masturbatory activities, try not to worry too much about it. It’s a perfectly normal and healthy part of life for both men and women. There are, however, a few ways you can make it even better:

  • Use lube!
  • Oil, lotion, saliva or water are not good for pleasuring yourself. Lube is inexpensive, it’s readily available at just about any drug store or supermarket and it will make it feel so much better!
  • To use masturbation to prevent unwanted erections, stroke yourself until you’re at the brink of orgasm, then take a break. This technique will help you learn how to last longer and control your climax.
  • Try mutual masturbation with your partner so you can both get an idea of how best to pleasure the other.

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: handjob, how to masturbate, masturbation

Why Women Do (Or Don’t) Watch Porn

By loveandsex

Porn isn’t just for guys – ladies enjoy it too! A lot of girls really enjoy watching porn, either with their partners as a form of foreplay or without their partners to arouse them before and during masturbation. However, there are many ladies that just can’t stand the idea of adult movies. Here’s the downlow on why girls do (or don’t) like naughty flicks.

Why Women Want To Watch Porn

There are many reasons a woman might want to enjoy porn, although it’s not exactly the majority of a woman’s preferred way to get turned on or masturbate. However, if a girl is eyeballing a dirty flick, she might be doing it to:

Masturbate

Believe it or not, guys aren’t the only ones who want to check out a skin flick before or during masturbation. While many girls prefer reading erotic novels, some of them do, in fact, enjoy visual stimulation before “clicking their own mouse.”

Get Turned On Before Sex

Some girls have a difficult time becoming really aroused before having sex with their lovers. A woman may look at porn either with or without her partner before sex to give herself time to get warmed up before getting busy. If watched with your partner before getting it on, porn can become an integral part of foreplay.

Get Sex Advice

While porn probably isn’t the best place to get sex advice and “how to” tips from, many ladies look at it for that very reason nonetheless. You can learn many things from an adult movie, from how to give a blowjob (porn style, of course) and different sex positions that you and your lover might be interested in trying. If you’re watching porn to understand sex better, however, remember that it is a movie and it is acting. You’d be better off snagging a video that is specifically made to teach sex techniques.

Just See What It’s All About

A lot of girls are curious just to see what the big fuss is all about. Pretty much every guy watches porn  (and they even make a big deal out of having it and hiding it), so a girl may check out a naughty flick just to see what’s up.

Indulge In Taboo Fantasies

Everyone has different sex fantasies, and some ladies may have a sex fantasy that is a little more taboo than what she or her partner is willing to actually do. Porn can be a great way to indulge in taboo or secret sex fantasies that you aren’t ready to try yet. Fetish videos are popular ways to indulge in a fetish that you want to keep hidden, like a diaper fetish or other uncommon fetishes. Skin flicks are also a great way to experience a sex fantasy for the first time without jumping right in with both feet.

See What Her Man Is Watching Behind Her Back

Girls will often catch their guy watching or looking at porn, or they may stumble across it unexpectedly while their partner is at work. She may throw it away or delete it, but chances are, she’s going to take a look at it first. Why? She wants to see exactly what is getting her lover off behind her back.

Why Women Don’t Want To Watch Porn

The far majority of girls actually choose not to look at adult movies, but probably not for reasons you might think. If a woman absolutely hates naughty films or would rather read an erotic novel than check out a skin flick, here’s why:

The Male Actors Aren’t Physically Attractive

A big penis isn’t all that a woman is interested in. Most adult movie actors are chosen for their penis size, not for their facial features or even the attractiveness of the rest of her body. While physical looks aren’t always what attract a woman to a guy, eye candy is important when you’re watching a skin flick. However, the porn industry mostly caters to guys in this respect, because many of the females featured in adult films are good looking with hot bodies. Not so much with the guys in nudie films.

They Deem It Disrespectful

The far majority of girls that choose not to look at porn do so because they feel like it’s disrespectful towards the female gender. Many adult movies do feature girls in compromising sex positions and doing compromising things, but not all of them. Some adult films – especially the less “hardcore” ones – will actually convey a woman in a very positive way.

The Plot…Wait, What Plot?

For a woman to become turned on, she usually has to be engaged mentally as well as physically. This is often the problem with adult movies, because while many adult film producers struggle to give a film at least some kind of plot, they generally don’t do a good job of it. Pizza delivery boy or dishwasher repairman sex? Most girls aren’t going to find that attractive, let alone believable.

It Just Doesn’t Do It For Her

Since females generally need mental stimulation to get turned on, the visual stimulation offered in skin flicks may just not do it for a girl. Why would she want to check out a sub-par porn when she can read an erotic novel and let her imagination take off – turning her on much, much more than a simple movie ever could.

She’s Insecure About Her Body

Ladies that don’t have high self esteem or are insecure about their bodies may not want to watch adult films and they may even get upset when their partner watches it. Adult movie actresses are often very glamorized in skin flicks, with the right lighting, lingerie and makeup to make them look their best. Porn actresses will often have had plastic surgery of some kind, especially breast augmentation or liposuction or tummy tucks. This can be very intimidating for a real woman to watch, even if she looks gorgeous.

She Has An Ample Supply Of Erotic Novels

Most girls just aren’t going to get off by watching a nudie film. It’s as simple as that. A woman that has an ample supply of erotic novels is probably not going to need to look at a skin flick at all.

Filed Under: Porn & Adult Movies Tagged With: adult movies, female masturbation, masturbation, porn

Advanced Masturbation Techniques – Using Sex Toys

By loveandsex

Let’s face it – masturbation can get boring if you’re doing the same thing over and over. Many men and women feel as though masturbation is meant to be “quick and dirty,” and as a result, they don’t use sex toys or lube to make masturbation better. Take it up a notch by experimenting with different sex toys during masturbation. Sex toys can create different sensations and better orgasms, and they can also be used with your partner during sex. Here are some advanced masturbation techniques to try if you want to spice up your solo time.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztMD1oCamnc[/youtube]

Most People Start Out Masturbating With Their Hands

Because most boys and girls start experimenting with masturbation during their pre-teen years, they usually start out by using their hands to touch themselves and figure out what feels good. Because you have to be 18 or older to purchase sex toys, most younger boys and girls use their hands simply because there is nothing else available to try.

Does that mean you should continue using your hands only during masturbation as an adult man or woman? Of course not! Part of the fun of being an adult is having the ability to try new things in the bedroom, such as watching porn or experimenting with sex toys. Here’s a guide on which sex toys to use for what (for both guys and gals) while you’re masturbating.

Ladies: Try A Rabbit Vibrator

Most women finger themselves during masturbation or use a slim dildo or simple vibrator for insertion. If you’re looking to take it up a notch, try purchasing a Rabbit vibrator. Many women that start using Rabbit vibrators won’t go back! Here’s what Rabbit vibrators have to offer:

  • A “dildo” end that is usually curved to stimulate the g-spot. In many models, the end will vibrate and rotate for extra pleasure.
  • Rotating pearls or beads that stimulate the sensitive areas just inside the vaginal opening
  • An attachment on the front with a separate bullet vibe that stimulates the clitoris
  • Some models have attachments on the back for anal probing and stimulation
  • Rabbit vibrators have a variety of speeds and sensations for customized pleasure

Ladies: Try Using Butt Plugs Or Anal Beads During Masturbation

Many women enjoy anal sex and would like to incorporate anal play during their own masturbation sessions but aren’t sure how or what toys to get. Fortunately, adding anal pleasure to masturbation is easy with the variety of anal sex toys that are available at adult toy stores both online and off.

A small butt plug with a flared end or finger loop is perfect if you’re just getting started or enjoy anal stimulation but don’t want to use something extra large. If you are into something bigger, there are lots of sizes available so you can work your way up in size. You definitely want to start small and then go bigger so your body can get used to it. Remember to use lots and lots of good, water based lube (never, ever desensitizing lube) and stop if it hurts.

Guys: Use Lube

Believe it or not, there are a lot of guys do not use lube when masturbating! Younger boys who are learning to masturbate typically do not use lube because it isn’t available, however, lots of guys still aren’t using lube even well into their adult life. Lube is essential for a great orgasm during masturbation! Some guys use lotion, saliva or soap, but they just don’t cut it when it comes to using what actually feels best.

Silicone lube is excellent for masturbating with your hands because it doesn’t wear off or dry out as quickly as water based lube can, but if you’re masturbating with sex toys or condoms, silicone lube can break them down if they’re made of latex. Water based lubricant is safe for every activity. Just about every guy that starts using lube during masturbation says they’ll never go back to lotion again!

Guys: Use A Masturbation Sleeve

Masturbation sleeves are probably the best invention for male masturbation ever, next to lube. Masturbation sleeves are generally made out of silicone or latex and are made to slip over the penis and moved back and forth while masturbation. Here’s why masturbation sleeves are much, much better than using your hands:

  • When combined with lube, they slip and slide over the penis creating orgasmic sensations
  • The inside of male masturbators are textured or ribbed (and there are hundreds of different kinds) to increase pleasure
  • Many models flip completely inside out for easy cleaning while others are disposable
  • They are the closest you’ll get to the real feeling of sex or a blowjob during masturbation

Guys: Using Cock Rings

Cock rings are an excellent sex toy to use during both masturbation and sex with a partner. A cock ring is designed to slip over the penis and stay at the base of it, trapping blood in the head and shaft and keeping the penis rock hard. This can be used during masturbation to enhance sensations and to prolong orgasm.

Make sure when purchasing cock rings to choose flexible ones. Hard plastic and metal cock rings exist, but they are far less than safe because they can get stuck at the base of the penis by causing the head and shaft to swell so much that it becomes impossible to remove the cock ring without immediate medical intervetion. Flexible cock rings are much, much safer! They come in lots of fun colors (even glow in the dark) and many of them are textured for extra sensations.

Guys: Toys For Anal Stimulation

Lots of guys enjoy anal play during sex or masturbation because the stimulation of the prostate gland from inside the anus can intensify orgasms immensely. This can be done with a number of sex toys, including small, slim vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads and prostate massagers.

There are definitely guys out there that are squeamish about putting anything up their anus, but not to worry – the prostate gland can be stimulated by putting firm pressure on the perineum (the space between a man’s anus and his scrotum). Try laying a strong vibrator on your perineum and massaging it to stimulate the prostate gland.

Remember to use lots and lots of water based lube (do not use it sparingly!) when using any type of anal sex toy or even when using your finger for anal play! This makes anal play much, much more pleasurable and decreases the risk of any kind of tearing or tissue damage!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: female masturbation, how to masturbate, masturbation, Sex Toys

Alone On Valentines Day? Hot Masturbation Tips For Him AND Her

By loveandsex

Flying solo on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean that you have to spend the night moping around about how you’re not gettin’ any. Instead, why not plan to get some – with yourself? Plan an evening of pleasure for yourself, whether it’s watching your favorite porn flick or taking a hot bath and relaxing before breaking out a new vibrator. Here are some excellent ways you can get busy by yourself on Valentine’s Day!

Grab An Erotic Movie Or Book

For Him: Rent, buy or download a new porn with your favorite star in it, or indulge yourself in a fetish movie that you haven’t gotten around to checking out yet. Men love visual stimulation, so lock your doors and turn on the tube. You can also check out free porn on websites like YouPorn. Either way, just make sure you get your mind in the mood with whatever turns you on the most. Make sure you have your masturbation tools nearby in case you can’t hold out through the whole movie!

For Her: Visit your local sex toy store for an erotic novel or two, or order them online. Heck, you can even find free erotic stories online with just a simple Internet search. While men are visual creatures and enjoy watching sex, most women prefer to have their imaginations stimulated with an erotic novel. Don’t just re-read one of your steamy romance novels though – this Valentine’s Day, treat yourself to something really naughty. You’ll be surprised at how much better your masturbation can be after just a few erotic stories!

Purchase A Sex Toy Just For The Occasion

For Him: There are a lot of guys out there that are still stuck in the hand and lotion “stone age.” There are lots of hot sex toys for boys available at both traditional sex toy stores and their online counterparts. Male sex toys come in a variety of different styles, colors, textures and sizes to accommodate every man’s desires. Masturbation sleeves are among the most popular sex toys for guys, whether it’s a “Fleshlight” modeled after a real vagina or a simple pink silicone sleeve that feels absolutely divine with a few squirts of lube. Consider purchasing a new sex toy before the big day and save it for that special night. You’ll feel the difference right away!

For Her: Thinking about busting out your tried and true vibrator for a quickie masturbation session on Valentine’s Day? Think again. Order a brand new dildo or bullet vibe (or whatever else tickles your fancy) and save it for the 14th.

Relax In A Hot Bath

For Him: You may think it’s sissy for guys to want to relax in a hot bath, but don’t underestimate the power that hot water, bubbles, steam and aromatherapy can do to relax your body and your mind. Especially if you’ve had a particularly long or difficult day at work, it’s important to clear your mind of everything that happened that day and start getting yourself in the mood and thinking about sex. Stroke yourself a few times in the bath, or think about something really arousing to get yourself ready.

For Her: Every woman loves a good, long soak in a hot bath. Take this to heart on Valentine’s Day and plan to take a long bath before your masturbation session. Make it special by adding some new, great smelling bath oils or salts, or light your favorite scented candles and add some rose petals to the water. The idea behind doing this on Valentine’s Day is to treat yourself right and make yourself feel special when you’re spending the evening alone. After your bath, make sure to put on some decadently rich body lotion and enjoy the feel of your silky smooth skin.

Go Slow And Take Your Time

For Him: Most of the time when guys masturbate, they do it in a hurry. As kids, guys had to “hurry up” before Mom came home, and even as adults, husbands have to “make it quick” before the wife catches them. If you’re spending February 14th by yourself, there’s no reason to rush your masturbation. Lock your doors, draw the blinds and take as much time with yourself as you need to make it really spectacular.

For Her: Some women naturally take their time during masturbation, simply because it takes several minutes for a woman to get warmed up, but others have got masturbation down pat and can reach orgasm in three minutes or less. If you’re used to quickie masturbation, make sure to slow it down on Valentine’s Day. This isn’t about “getting the job done” and masturbation doesn’t have to be a means to an end. Take time to enjoy yourself and really savor the way everything feels.

Multiple Orgasms? Yes, Please!

For Him: Can men really have multiple orgasms! Absolutely! While most men aren’t necessarily going to have multiple orgasms in quick succession like a woman can, most men can cool down in a period of about 15-25 minutes and get started again. Why not make Valentine’s Day night last all night long?

For Her: It’s a little easier for women to have multiple orgasms than it is for men. Women are like ovens – it takes some time for them to warm up but once they’re hot, they stay that way for a little while. When a woman reaches orgasm, she doesn’t go all the way back down to the starting point. She’s actually very close to having another. Take advantage of the way your body works and don’t stop after just the first orgasm. You may even want to try to have as many orgasms as you can – you might just set a Valentine’s Day record!

Filed Under: Valentine's Day Tagged With: how to masturbate, masturbation, Valentines Day, Valentines Day Ideas

How To Get Your Girlfriend To Masturbate For You

By loveandsex

So you want her to masturbate, and you want her to masturbate in front of you. Question is, how do you get her to do it? Some women are cool with talking about masturbation, but some women just aren’t comfortable clicking their own mouse, let alone talking about it with their lovers.  Whether your girl does enjoys flying solo or has never tried it before, watching her get her freak on by herself is something that can entice both of you and make your sex life hotter. Here’s how you can convince her to masturbate – and then do it in front of you!

Tell Her You Want To Watch

Very few women want to watch men masturbate – so telling her that you want to watch her do it may sound unbelievable to her at first. She may think it’s a crazy idea, or that you’re trying to manipulate her in some way so that you can scrutinize her. Of course this isn’t true, but getting her to believe that the idea of watching her masturbate for you is a huge turn on is a different story all together. Try some dirty talk in the bedroom next time you and your lover have sex. While you’re touching her clitoris, let her know how much it would turn you on to see her touch it. Start small and work your way up to the big stuff. She may only start out with letting you watch her play with herself a little, but with constant encouragment and enthusiasm on your part, it won’t be very long before she’s giving you a show.

Give Her Some Assistance During Foreplay

While you’re fingering her or giving her oral sex, place your hand over hers and take it along for the ride. Slowly rub her breasts, hips and lower stomach with your hand underneath hers so she can feel what you feel when you’re having sex with her. Look into her eyes and show her how hot it makes you when you see her touch herself. As you move your hand down to her vagina, let her take the lead once you feel she is sufficiently turned on to keep going. Again, you want to do this slowly because if you move too fast, you could freak her out. You want to let her take the lead and go however fast or slow she wants to. You can also join in and touch her breasts, her buttocks or finger her vagina while she touches her clitoris. If she wants to fly completely solo while you watch though, you can masturbate on your own while you watch her do it!

Masturbate With Her

It’s no problem if you get so turned on by watching her play with herself that you have to touch yourself also. This will actually encourage her to do more! Sit in a chair by the bed, watching her masturbate while she watches you. If you or your partner want it to be less of a “spectator sport” and more intimate, try laying next to each other on the bed, facing each other. Ask her if she likes watching you masturbate as much as you like watching her. Remind her over and over that you absolutely love what she’s doing and simply can’t help but play with yourself! If you still have a hard time getting her to really let go and masturbate for you, try touching yourself while you give her cunnilingus. Let her know that you find her vagina extremely sexy. If she believes that you really enjoy licking it, sucking it and looking at it, she won’t be as self concious about revealing all in front of you.

Dirty Talk

The real secret to getting her to touch herself for you is to talk to her the entire time and let her know how much it really turns you on. Don’t be afraid to be vocal about it, whether it’s groaning while giving yourself a handjob while she masturbates or telling her with words exactly what you like to see. If you make it absolutely clear that watching her touch herself is what makes you super hot and horny, she’ll end up being more than willing to do it for you. Try asking her for a tutorial on how she does it herself, or try directing each move that she makes and have her touch herself where you tell her to. Get creative and most of all, remember to have fun with it. If she’s still uncomfortable with the idea of masturbating in front of you, let it go until she’s ready to do it.

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: female masturbation, how to masturbate, masturbation

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