orgasm – Page 91

How To Turn Your Sex Life From Good To Great!

Toe-curling, mind-blowing, earth shattering – can you use these phrases to describe your sex life? For a couple who is just starting out in a relationship, the sexual chemistry should still be sizzling hot during the first few months that you have been together. But over time, the familiarity that you have with each other may lead your sex life to become routine, stale – or in other words, boring – and nobody wants to have that!

So if you want to convert your sex life from being good to great, you need to exert some effort in order to keep the fire burning.

Discover New Places to Have Sex

If the only thing that you see when you get naked is the four walls of your bedroom, then you’re not being adventurous enough when it comes to the places that you’re having sex. Sure, there’s the typical getting it on in your shower, bathtub or at the back of your car – but there are some other, newer venues that you can use to ramp up your sex life.

For example, check out all the other rooms in your house and see where else you could have sex. Surprise your husband or boyfriend by making a delectable ‘feast’ out of him while you’re sneaking in the kitchen to have some midnight snack.

The stairs, the roomy coat closet, the garage – these little nooks and crannies in your house are great quick sex setting potentials. And the possibility of someone finding you out adds to the steamy sexual exploration.
If you haven’t already done so, you can surprise your significant other by making a random visit at his office to bring over some lunch – and a short but steamy booty call at his desk, computer chair or even on the floor.

On his exercise bench, in the great outdoors, on a moving train, on the golf course or the hood of a car – just let your imagination run wild and you’ll surely come up with inventive places where you can have great sex!

More Tips on How You can Have Great Sex

Now that you’ve already been oriented on how you can up the ante in your sex life by discovering new places where you can get it on, what other things should you remember so that your sessions in the sack can be sizzling hot once again? Here are a few tips worth remembering:

1. Always live in the present

If they feel that their partners are not satisfied with their sex lives anymore, men usually have a performance anxiety. Was it good for her? Will I come too soon? Did she just fake having an orgasm so that my ego won’t get hurt?

If you obsess over these details even before you have sex and all you’re thinking about is pursuing an orgasm, the results will be pretty bad. Live in the moment, forget about your sex-oriented goals and just allow things to steam up and great sex will happen.

2. Live out your sexual fantasies

One of the best ways to vamp up your sessions in the sack with your significant other is by living out your sexual fantasies. Not only will you both have a novel experience when you live out your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies, but it provides additional benefits as well.

First, putting yourself literally in another person’s shoes – whether it’s a nurse, a prissy schoolteacher or a French maid – will allow you to let go of your inhibitions. Second, sexual fantasies will connect you and your lover on a deeper, more intimate level.

3. Take a cue from porn stars

Now, this isn’t about imitating the body bending tricks that adult stars use while having exaggerated sex in their movies – although it’s recommended that you try them out from time to time.

The cue that you should take from them is their enthusiasm about getting it on. The way that they’re having guilt-free sex and how they’re not conscious about their bodies at all is exactly the attitude that you should take in your own bedroom. This way, you can take charge of your own sex life and turn it from being ‘blah’ to earth shattering.

Are You Too Goal-Oriented When It Come To Sex?

By hollypage

Do you focus on getting A’s instead of learning in school? Do you work towards hitting your numbers rather than doing your job well? Do you worry about how much you weigh instead of how healthy and fit you are?

Then chances are you focus on the orgasm instead of just enjoying sexual experiences. And you’re missing out.

While in many aspects of your life being goal-oriented may help you achieve, it definitely isn’t helping you out in the bedroom. Goal-oriented sex, when one or both partners are just focused on orgasm, tends to be formulaic, stressful, and disconnected. Maybe you achieve your “goal” and orgasm, but you’re actually missing out on sensual and intimate lovemaking.

The cliché “life is a journey, not a destination” is one we often hear and promptly dismiss, because it isn’t a mantra that fits into our goal-oriented culture. But when it comes to sex, the more attention you pay to the “journey” – looking into your lover’s eye, enjoying each other’s bodies, connecting on a physical and emotional level – the better the “destination,” or orgasm, is.

Negative Effects of Goal-Oriented Sex

Goal-oriented sex minimally causes you to miss out on more sensual and intimate sexual experiences. At its worst, being too focused on orgasm could actually be preventing you or your partner from enjoying sex. Think about it – has your focus on your orgasm or your partner’s ever created pressure and interference? Of course it has. That’s because you are focused on the wrong thing.

Before we get to how to take the focus off orgasm to have better sex, let’s look a bit more closely at the negative effects of goal-oriented sex.

For men, goal-oriented sex can result in premature ejaculation if the excitement of orgasm is too great. It can also lead to performance anxiety around pleasing his partner. Finally, goal-oriented sex can result in a sense of entitlement to orgasm even if the woman isn’t into it.

For women, sex is often connected to her emotional or psychological state. Goal-oriented sex, then, can create such pressure to get aroused and orgasm that she often can’t do either. The context of lovemaking can be as important as the sex itself in creating pleasure.

How to Avoid Goal-Oriented Sex

If you’ve been worrying too much about the big O, slow down and take the scenic route the next time you make love. Here are three things you can try to take the pressure off orgasm and put the focus on enjoying the range of sensual pleasures in the moment.

Put the play back into sex play. Remember when you first started exploring your sexuality, you would make-out for hours without any goal other than satisfying your curiosity? Next time you fool around, don’t have intercourse. That will alleviate the pressure to orgasm via intercourse, and instead give you the chance to explore each other’s bodies again.

Be more sensual. Be conscious during your next sexual encounter to be more sensual. Take a lot of time to touch your partner with different pressures and speeds. Add some feathers, satin, or ice to your play for varied textures and temperatures. By putting more focus on the sensual experience, you’ll be more in the moment and less goal-oriented toward orgasm.

Talk. When you start your lovemaking, tell your partner what you like and describe how it feels. The communication will not only be erotic, but it will also raise your awareness to what’s happening in the moment versus letting your mind wander to think about what’s to, er, come.

Try out one or all of these tips to take off some of the pressure on orgasm, and to heighten your intimate, sexual experiences.

Can’t Have An Orgasm Through Any Means But Intercourse

By paulcarlson

Many women have difficulty achieving orgasm, however, some men have difficulty achieving orgasms as well.

Some men can only achieve orgasms with intercourse, which can be frustrating to their partners who are trying to please them with oral sex or genital massage.

If you can only achieve orgasm through intercourse, you’re not alone, but what can you do about it?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have trouble reaching orgasm except through intercourse. I want to find other ways to share my orgasms with my partner. How can I do that?

–Nikki, West Virginia

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2-NihWiNvo[/youtube]

Inner Emotions

Older generations of men had much more societal pressure not to masturbate or touch themselves in any sexual way than more current generations of men. Especially in very religious cultures, masturbation and even oral sex is considered “wrong” or “dirty.”

Men that would get caught masturbating or even receiving oral sex or genital massage became socially outcast, even by their mothers, fathers and other family members. The school of thought at the time was that sexual pleasure was reserved for intercourse between a man and a woman after marriage.

Anything outside those boundaries were considered “bad,” even though scientifically, masturbation and other forms of sexual pleasure are perfectly normal.

Men from older generations and even some younger men who come from strong religious backgrounds may feel inwardly that these types of sexual acts are, in fact, “wrong,” even if they don’t realize it.

This can actually prohibit him from feeling sexual pleasure during these types of activities, making it impossible for him to have an orgasm that way.

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s not a permanent problem. You can get the help of an unbiased counselor or sex therapist to help you obtain the tools you need to let go of any inner emotions that could be making it difficult or impossible for you to orgasm through any means but intercourse.

Trying New Techniques….

You can also have your partner try new and different techniques and you can be open with your partner and let them know what feels good and what doesn’t. While this is an approach that works well in conjunction with therapy or counseling, trying this alone likely won’t help you achieve an orgasm through oral sex or genital massage if you’ve previously been unable to do so.

If you and your therapist are beginning to work through some of your inner issues, you can work with your partner to find the type of stimulation that really gets you turned on and keeps you turned on. If you like stimulation a certain way, don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like and don’t like!

It can be frustrating not to be able to reach orgasm in any way other than intercourse, but it’s usually not something that lasts forever, especially if you get help in understanding what is causing the problem and how to get through it.

Shed the thoughts that oral sex and genital massage is “bad” or “wrong” and learn to accept sexual pleasure as a whole as normal. Mammals of all kinds seek sexual pleasure in a variety of ways, and it’s normal that you would too!

Your therapist can help you to work through your issues and your partner can help you find out what you like best sexually, so when you’re ready, you can have a great orgasm a number of different ways – not just intercourse!

How To Have Multiple Orgasms With Tantric Sex

By mayasilverman

The multiple orgasm has become somewhat of a sexual Holy Grail; often eluded to as the ultimate sexual experience, but frustratingly hard to achieve. It seems as though multiple orgasms should be filed away as relationship urban myth, desirable and yet unachievable as it may be.

Yes, Multiple Orgasms Do Exist

However, if you’re a follower of Tantra, a spiritual path that utilizes specific body sensations, vocalizations and movements in order to awaken and channel divine sexual energy, then you not only know that multiple orgasms exist; most likely you experience this intense sexual and spiritual bliss during every lovemaking session!

If you’re ready to awaken your multi-orgasmic potential through the art of tantric practices, then get ready to spice up your sexual life!

What Tantra Is

Before you can learn all of the tricks and secrets to achieving multi-orgasmic bliss, first, one must learn a bit more about tantra. Although tantra has been painted as a religion devoted exclusively to the practice of sex, thanks in part to Western influences, it is so much more.

Tantra, derived from ancient Sanskrit philosophies from India, Nepal and China, is a specific spiritual movement which taps into powerful energies that are continually coursing through our bodies.

These energies, which differ among men and women, are used to awaken sexual awareness amongst partners, and can help lovers achieve the most sublime sexual and spiritual bliss imaginable. In essence, sex is indeed an important part of the tantric experience, but it acts more as a catalyst for achieving divine bliss as opposed to an ultimate endpoint.

It’s Not as Intimidating as It Sounds

Sure, this may sound rather intimidating, but the trick to boosting your multi-orgasmic potential isn’t complicated or difficult to learn; rather, the key lies in being able to control the coursing of your sexual energy through your breathing.

Think this sounds too simple to be true? Try approaching it this way: the art of tantric sex revolves around controlled breathing as a means to heightening physical and emotional sensations, which leads to a more spiritual and satisfying form of lovemaking.

Additionally, tantric practices maintain that the breath cleanses and purifies essential energies in our bodies, including our chakras. Your chakras are some of the most important energy channels in your body, as each chakra is associated with a vital part of your body and mind.

The same idea applies to achieving the infamous multiple orgasm, as engaging in controlled breathing with your partner will heighten all the necessary sensations for the simultaneous multiple orgasm!

Just Breathe

Of course, you and your partner cannot expect to achieve your multi-orgasmic potential without first engaging in some very basic but necessary breathing exercises. These exercises will not only help you to intimately connect to your partner on a deeper and more spiritual level. They’ll reinforce the importance of controlled breathing during the peak of your lovemaking.

If you and your partner are tantric beginners, make a little time in each day to practice individual breathing exercises. To start out your first controlled breathing exercise, inhale deeply through your nose (this is done to get as deep a breath as possible) until your stomach expands out into a potbelly.

Allow yourself to full up with your breath and feel the cleansing power that just one simple breath contains. Once your stomach has expanded as far as it can go, breath out slowly through the mouth, making sure to concentrate as your breath leaves your body. Repeat these exercises a few times more, until your body feels completely relaxed.

If you’re looking for a breathing exercise that will get you ready for action, try rapid breathing in and out through your nose, which will sound a bit like snorting (this is perhaps a good exercise to do without your partner at first!).

This kind of breathing will completely energize you, which will lead to more intense and playful lovemaking sessions. Encourage your partner to try these exercises on his or her own before coming together for your tantric experiences.

Now You’re Ready to Start!

Once you’ve learned how to control your own breathing, you’re ready to join up with your partner for a sack session that will have you well on your way towards the ultimate sensual pleasure: the multiple orgasm!

During coitus, start out by synchronizing your breath with that of your partner, which will help you to sense each other’s energy patterns. Once the two of you are on the same wavelength, change your breathing pattern to the reciprocal breath, which involves “exchanging” air with your partner; to do this, simply inhale while your partner exhales, and vice versa.

Soon, you’ll be so full of your partner’s energy that you’ll find it almost too easy to achieve that once-elusive multiple orgasm!

Don’t Forget to Have Fun

In your quest to boost your multi-orgasmic potential, don’t forget the most important rule of all: have fun! Your tantric journey should be both fun and pleasurable, even if you’re not able to attain multiple orgasms on the first go.

After all, tantric sex is about exploring and appreciating your partner on a physical and spiritual level. Just approach your lovemaking sessions in this light, and you’ll hardly even have to try for that simultaneous multiple orgasm; it will be effortless!

The Elusive G-Spot – How To Find It And What To Do With It When You Do

By loveandsex

Orgasms by themselves are often difficult for many women to achieve, let alone the mystical G-Spot orgasm. Learning how to find the G-Spot and achieve orgasm solely through penetration is an incredible way to strengthen the sexual bond you have with your partner and enrich your sex life.

The trick is, how tricky is it?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend can only have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation. I want to pleasure her more – how can I find the G-spot everyone is talking about and make sex with her last longer?

–Sean, Oklahoma

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv106uHOkNY[/youtube]

Needing Clitoral Stimulation

If your partner needs clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm every time, don’t worry – it’s perfectly normal. In fact, that’s why the clitoris is there – providing pleasure and orgasm is it’s only job. That doesn’t mean that you should give up on the elusive G-Spot though.

Learning how to pleasure your partner through both clitoral and G-Spot stimulation can help make your sex life incredibly satisfying for both you and your partner. Did you know that a woman can even have a clitoral orgasm and a G-Spot orgasm at the same time?

In fact, clitoral stimulation will often help a G-Spot orgasm along and vice versa. If you’re interested in finding a woman’s G-Spot, there is a ton of literature that will give you some great information on how to find it and what to do with it when you do.

Practice Makes Perfect

When you begin learning the techniques you need to use to bring your partner to orgasm through G-Spot stimulation, you may not be very good at it right away. It takes time to learn what your partner likes and what they don’t like and even the best techniques may need to be modified according to your partner’s specific likes and dislikes.

Take some time to practice with your partner and try different techniques until you find the ones that work the best. You can also try looking online for forums or message boards where other people have talked about the techniques they like to use. Don’t be afraid to add your input – you might get some tips from other people that can really help you out.

Providing Feedback

The most important aspect of learning how to pleasure your partner through G-Spot stimulation is to be open to receiving feedback and of course, making sure your partner is open to giving feedback. While trying out different techniques, let your partner know that she should tell you what feels good and what doesn’t.

If she has any suggestions on what might feel better or how to modify a certain technique to make it more pleasurable, let her know that suggestions are welcome. Be open to receiving positive criticism as well – it’s a learning process and you’ll learn much more if you are open to listening about what you’re doing right (and wrong) without getting your feelings hurt.

This way, you can learn what really gets your partner going, whether it’s G-Spot stimulation, clitoral stimulation or a mixture of the two.

Learning how to reach the G-Spot and how to pleasure your partner through G-Spot stimulation isn’t always easy and it does take some patience from both partners.

With time, effort and a positive attitude, you can use G-Spot stimulation during intercourse, oral sex and other types of sexual play to enhance your partner’s pleasure and make your sex life and sexual connection more satisfying.