orgasm – Page 96

Frustrated Girl Still Can’t Orgasm!

For some women, it is extremely hard to have an orgasm. Many of the things that work for most women just don’t seem to cut it with others. If you’re one of the women who can’t seem to climax, it can be extremely frustrating.

The cause could be from having too much stress and tension to having an emotional block that just won’t let you go over the edge. It is important to really try and find the source of these issues and if need be, seek help from a sex therapist.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

For years I have been trying to have and orgasm, but nothing ever happens. No matter how much I try, I don’t seem to be able to do it!

Can you please help me what should I do? I have tried so many things. Please help.

–Jemma, Australia

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxrkDpGWjZY[/youtube]

Taking care of the problem on your own

Before you go packing your bags to see the therapist, try doing a few things on your own to see if you can solve the dilemma. Try relaxing before sexual activity by doing stretching, yoga, or even meditating as this can help calm the mind and may make your body more receptive to climax. Masturbation with or without toys is often the key for a woman to learn how she likes to be touched to reach an orgasm, so it’s important to try masturbation if you haven’t yet.

Both masturbation and oral sex can actually be a very useful way of stimulating the clitoris, which can result in a very satisfying orgasm. Various lotions and lubricants can also be used to help reduce friction and some lotions can actually enhance sexual arousal and sensations to help you orgasm. There are also a number of herbal supplements that can help stimulate blood flow to improve feeling and sensitivity in the sexual organs to better help you reach your climax.

Getting professional help

If you have tried everything you can think of and still can’t reach an orgasm, you should seek help from a professional. A sex therapist is a better bet than your regular physician, although your physician can check you physically to make sure there’s not a problem that is keeping you from having an orgasm. Sex therapists have undergone training in the field of sexual complications and are better equipped to help you with an inability to climax.

Build trust with your sex therapist

If it is an emotional issue, make sure you build trust with your sex therapist so you can feel more at ease about disclosing intimate details. Your sex therapist can help you work through your emotional problems and help you learn to relieve tension so you can be more open to receiving an orgasm.

Relaxation is key

Relaxation is one of the prime keys to achieving orgasm. You have to be comfortable with yourself and your partner and you have to be comfortable with your partner enough to explore many different methods of reaching orgasm.

Foreplay is another important keystone because it helps to “warm up” the body in preparation for sexual activity. Try having extended foreplay to see if that helps to entice your body into opening up enough to reach climax.

Most of all, don’t be embarrassed to try new things that you might think are different. If you close yourself off from these options then you simply narrow your list of available methods of reaching an orgasm. If nothing seems to be working, then try something you might normally try.

Of course, if the issue is emotional then there might not be any method that works other than taking time to work through the issue with a sex therapist. If you are truly unsure of what to do, it’s time to consult the professionals.

Frustrated Man Can’t Orgasm Wearing A Condom!

By loveandsex

If you dislike wearing a condom during sex, you’re certainly not the first! Many people dislike the feeling a condom has or, more to the point, the lack of feeling.

If your partner insists on having you wear a condom during sex every time, you may be frustrated, especially if she’s already using another type of birth control such as the pill.

Why do you have to wear a condom every time? Can you convince her otherwise?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi I’ve seen your videos on YouTube. I’ve enjoyed learning new things and love that you’re so willing to share your knowledge. I’ve been seeing this girl for a little while now, things are great, we’re very comfortable and physically compatible in bed, but I haven’t finished inside of her yet. She wants me to, but so far she insists on using a condom and I can’t climax with it on and it’s getting frustrating. The part that really bothers me is that our relationship is suffering because of it. I want to understand why she wants to use a condom when she’s already on the pill. I’m not looking for unprotected sex. What can I do to save our sex life?

– Stan, Ohio

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofz57bChMoU[/youtube]

A Layered Defense

First of all, whether you wear a condom or not is not your choice. It’s hers. That may seem a bit unfair, but in all reality, if you want to have intercourse with her, you’re going to have to don the wet suit before you dive if she asks you to. You might be able to better accept the fact that she consistently asks you to use a condom if you understand why.

Don’t be shy. Just ask her! The topic is probably open to discussion, but it’s important not to be critical. Chances are, she’s really not ready to have a baby. She may be doubling up on protection. Birth control in conjunction with condom use provides an extra layer of protection and makes the probability of conceiving a child much, much lower. I

f this is her reasoning, you really can’t refute that. You can suggest using spermicide instead of a condom, but it truly is her decision.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases . . . .

Your partner may insist that you wear a condom for every act of sexual intercourse to reduce the risk of contracting or passing sexually transmitted diseases. This is a legitimate reason for insisting on condom use, because no other type of birth control or contraception will protect against sexually transmitted diseases.

This is something you have to ask your partner . Is she afraid of contracting or passing a sexually transmitted disease? If this is the case, you might be able to suggest that you both get tested. If you’re both tested for STD’s and come up clean, she may not ask you to wear a condom anymore.

But I Can’t Climax!

If you’re anxious to get rid of condoms because you’re not able to climax with a condom on, it may be something you need to examine on your own. Most men are able to climax with a condom, so if you are consistently unable to, you may want to try a few new things.

Try using a little lubricant on the inside of the condom, or have lots of foreplay so you’re very close to orgasm before you begin intercourse. You can always get the input of your doctor too.

It’s important that you reach a compromise with your partner. If you are able to switch to birth control and spermicide instead of condoms and birth control, it may solve the problem. If you are able to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases and you are both clear, you may be able to engage in sex with your partner without a condom.

Just remember, while it is mostly your partner’s choice, you can always choose not to have sex with your partner. If it is that important to you and you and your partner can’t reach a compromise, you may both be better off going your separate ways. You should know that a condom is as much for your protection as it is hers though!

Is It True That Orgasms Kill Brain Cells?

By loveandsex

While that may seem like a silly question, it’s actually not.

What it is, however, is urban legend. Many people hear these types of urban legends from their friends or from their relatives, and they were probably started to discourage people from having sex.

Remember the one about how masturbation gives you hairy palms? Or about how masturbation can cause blindness? Truth be told, masturbation causes none of these things and the same can be said of orgasms.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do orgasms kill brain cells?

– Kristen, Pennsylvania

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnFSJyq0TVE[/youtube]

But wasn’t there a study?

That said, there is probably a study out there, somewhere, that suggests otherwise. Of course there is! There are studies all over the place that suggest things are harmful, but other studies that suggest that they’re not.

For example, studies for the longest time showed that red wine and chocolate were harmful to the body and recent studies are showing that red wine and dark chocolate are full of antioxidants and are actually good for you.

So you need to take what you hear with a big grain of salt and, of course, consider the source of the information.

Did you hear that orgasms kill brain cells from someone who might have an ulterior motive, such as someone who would want to keep you from having sex? Or did you hear it from a friend who might want to be jerking your chain? What about finding the information on the Internet? Who published it and what website did you find it on?

Do some digging and you might just find out what you heard or read is complete bull, and that’s true for a lot of things. If you hear of something you suspect to be true or untrue, make sure the source that you heard or read it from is credible.

What’s most important?

The most important thing is for you to live your life. If you really think about it, there’s something to be afraid of around every corner you turn. Statistics point this way and that way and every time you turn around, there’s a new epidemic to be frightened of or studies that show something you’ve done for years is suddenly bad for you.

If you don’t learn to just live your life and dismiss complete bunk right along with your kitchen garbage, you’ll spend the majority of your life preparing for the worst and most likely watching nothing happen.

That said, it’s important to be smart and safe as well. Does Bloody Mary appear in the bathroom mirror when you turn out all the lights and say her name three times? No. Do orgasms kill brain cells? No. Does masturbation cause hairy palms and blindness? No.

Does unprotected sex have the possibility to cause pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases? Sure does. So make sure when you do have sex that you’re being safe about it and you’re not engaging in something that really is dangerous to you.

Don’t miss the forest for the trees and ignore safe sex because you’re worried about orgasms killing your brain cells. You’ll be just fine as long as you play it safe and play it smart.

3-Before-Me: A Proven Guideline For Great Sex

By leejenkins

Have you ever heard of the “3-Before-Me” rule?

Simply put, it means that you do whatever it takes to make your woman experience an orgasm 3 times before you even allow her to start pleasuring you.

Now, just the thought of this may tire you out but we’re not really talking about orgasms during intercourse here. We mean the following (and in this sequence):

Clitoral orgasm
G-spot orgasm
Blended orgasm

It’s best to bring your woman to a clitoral orgasm first for the simple reason that the clitoris is easiest to stimulate and will be most responsive to your ‘attentions’ at the start of making love. Furthermore, a clitoral orgasm prepares her physically for that all-elusive G-spot orgasm.

A G-spot orgasm will give your partner a different kind of sensation compared to a clitoral orgasm. Many women claim that it’s ‘deeper’ and more ‘body-rocking’ than clitoral orgasms.

After a G-spot orgasm, it’s time for blended orgasms, which is that magic combination of a clitoral orgasm and a G-spot orgasm.

Why the “3-Before-Me” Rule Rocks!

Now you may be wondering, “Why give her 3 orgasms first before I even have 1?”

Well, there are plenty of reasons supporting this and trust me, it will benefit you as well.

Did you know that about 70-75% of women do NOT reach an orgasm during sexual intercourse?

Imagine the frustration this brings! So with the “3-Before-Me” rule, you’re actually physically setting her up for a vaginal orgasm. And even if she doesn’t reach an orgasm at this stage, IT’S OK.

After all, she already reached her climax 3 times before right? So no sexual frustration on her part anymore even if she doesn’t have an orgasm during intercourse.

Be the Sex God You’ve Always Wanted To Be

As mentioned above, a great percentage of women do not reach an orgasm during sexual intercourse, yet few men go out of their way to ensure that they’re sexually satisfied in bed. If you practice the “3-Before-Me” rule, she’ll be talking her head off to all her friends that she’s found THE man that can really fulfill her in bed!

It Doesn’t Matter If You Can’t Last Long In Bed

With the 3-Before-Me rule, it doesn’t matter if you can’t last long during sex. Some men get so excited in bed that they tend to come just a little bit sooner than what their partners would like. However, if you pleasure her first, do you think she’ll notice how soon you come during intercourse? I bet she won’t!

The 3-Before-Me Makes Sex Better

Since you’ve gone out of your way to pleasure her and bring her to orgasm three times, can you imagine what she will do to YOU to show her gratitude? Many men claim that sex is definitely better after they pleasure their women first.

Keep in mind that “3-Before-Me” is really more a guide than a rule. It’s not written in stone so don’t feel that you’re doing something wrong if you don’t make her experience a female orgasm 3 times all the time.

What you must remember is this: please her first and you’re in for a rocking time in bed!

4 Reasons Why Female Orgasms Are So Hard To Achieve

By leejenkins

There seems to be a conspiracy. Men want women to climax, women want to climax. So why is that, according to studies, about 70% of women never reach an orgasm during intercourse?

We can of course focus on other methods women can orgasm (e.g., oral sex, fingering, etc.) but even those may not be enough to giver her an orgasm if she has negative sexual issues with herself.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #1: Shyness

One of the main things that prohibit women to let go between the sheets is good ol’ fashioned shyness. If this is what’s stopping your woman from reaching an orgasm, then there plenty enough ways to help her out.

For one, dim the lights or turn them off if that’s what she prefers. Many women have body and weight issues so the harsh reality of being naked in front of you will not only make her uncomfortable but make her mind focus on the wrong things (i.e., how she looks versus the pleasures her body’s getting).

Another way you can help her out is by actually encouraging her to keep her top on. Tell her how you like seeing her nipples hard and straining against her shirt or lingerie. This will make her think she’s doing you a favor by not removing her top, and help her be less self-conscious at the same time.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #2: Performance Issues

She knows she’s not your first and sometimes, this thought gives rise to nagging performance issues between the sheets. How does she compare to all your other love interests? Well, put her fears to rest and make her focus on reaching her own orgasm by compliment her or whispering her name often while making love.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #3: Physical Pain

Not everything you read or see in X-rated films is what they’re made out to be. A seemingly hot sexual position may actually be causing her a physical discomfort and may not be sexually stimulating at all.

So pay attention to how she REALLY reacts when you try out new moves in bed. If sexual position is not the cause of any physical discomfort she feels, a visit to a doctor may be necessary.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #4: Past Negative Experiences

A bad experience with a former flame may also be inhibiting your woman to let go and enjoy the pleasures of sex with you. For instance, one woman had a former boyfriend confess to her that she smelled funny down there.

This bothered the woman so much that long after the boyfriend had gone, she has never allowed anyone to perform oral sex on her again. Worse, she was so focused on this ‘bad thing’ that sex altogether became unpleasant and she was starting to wonder if she was frigid.

If you notice anything like this with your woman, discuss it while re-assuring her all the while that you do like making love to her and that all you want to do is make her experience the same physical pleasures you’re experiencing. It’s worth the shot!