Everyone likes to think it’s just men that watch porn. Wives and girlfriends everywhere, high on false righteousness, patrol their man’s computer to make sure it’s still virgin. And God forbid he actually watches porn on TV. After all, porn’s just downright wrong, isn’t it? Or is it?
But here’s a shocker… lots of women actually enjoy porn, or some form of exotic, erotic entertainment. This urban myth that women don’t like porn or erotic movies goes back to the same popular culture ignorance that leads so many to believe that women don’t want or enjoy sex as much as men.
Fact is, women DO like sex just as much as men do. They just go about it differently, usually in a more discrete, seductive way.
Here’s a question from a lady in California who’s afraid she’s actually become ADDICTED to porn!
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
I have gotten into the habit of watching pornography to help me orgasm, whether it’s masturbating or having my boyfriend go down on me. I used to be able to have an orgasm without porn, but now I’m dependent on it. I don’t think my boyfriend minds much, but it’s just a nuisance.
How can I ease this habit?
— Aly, California
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml01wPSbJ3I[/youtube]
Why All Addictions Are Bad. Yes, Even Addictions to Porn.
Addictions are bad. It doesn’t matter what you’re addicted to: porn, cigarettes, food (which most everyone is addicted to), or anything else. Doing something because you WANT TO is great. But when you start NEEDING to do it, you know you’re in trouble. The whole fun and joy comes out of it, and you become a slave to whatever you’re doing.
STOP IT! If you realize you have an addiction that’s not serving you (most of them don’t), then kill it, don’t feed it. Most addictions feed an emotional emptiness of some sort. Do away with whatever you’re addicted to and find a better way to meet that need.
And the easiest way to make it stop is to SAY NO that very first time. That will begin to shatter the destructive behavior. When you feel the NEED to do it, do something else. Anything else. Each time you ‘just say no’ and choose a positive action instead, your brain re-wires itself to NOT be dependent on the addiction. Pretty soon, you’ll be free.
If you make a serious effort and still can’t break yourself of it, then get help. Find a counselor to help you get through it. But it all starts with you saying NO that first time and deciding it’s over.
Why Is Pornography Wrong?
Take a moment and really think about that. What IS wrong with watching porn?
I feel that it’s largely due to the social stigma around sex that exists in our society today. Sex is portrayed as evil and wrong, which is just silly if you actually think about it.
Sex is not evil, so why is it wrong to watch others have sex?
Not as a replacement for intimacy of course, but maybe something to help get you BOTH in the mood. And don’t necessarily think of the hard core stuff on the pay per view channels. How about some really erotic movies that’ll get you both excited and in the mood? Not every time, but as a fun change on a sexy date night.
What Is It About Porn That You Find Exciting?
To break the porn addiction, it’s vital to figure out what exactly you find exciting about it. Are you maybe enjoying a certain type of sex play? Is it bringing out some secret fantasies that you haven’t shared with your partner – or maybe which you were afraid to share for some reason?
Once you figure out what it is that’s really getting you excited, here’s a big question for you. Are you trying these things in your sex life? No? Why not?
Sex is so much more fulfilling when you openly share your wants and desires with your partner. Open and honest communication is crucial for a happy sexual and romantic relationship. So give it a try: talk. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.
Slow Seduction – Why It Matters
Are you getting enough warm up time and mental stimulation, or is it just Wham-Bam-Sex?
Sex is not just about the physical mechanics or inserting Tab A into Slot B. It’s about the excitement, the passion… the most enjoyable part of sex is mostly mental. Sure, the orgasm feels good either way, but there’s no substitute for hot, steamy sex where your mind and body are completely and utterly aroused and playing as one!
Remember also that some men are always ready to go at the drop of a hat. But women usually need more warm up time. Nothing like a hot date with the promise of a steamy, sleepless night to get you both turned on. Build up the anticipation and the tension, and you’ll be pleasantly amazed at the results.
Time to Bring the Excitement and Hot Sex Back Into Your Love Life
Leave the TV behind and bring that excitement in the real world. Nothing wrong with some porn or an exotic thriller now and then for a stay-home date night, but the real world can be so much more stimulating.
With just a little effort, you can actually spark some real excitement in your sex life. Block off some time each week to go out on some hot, exciting dates together. Don’t just talk about it, take action and make it happen. Take this seriously: schedule it now as if it was a doctor’s appointment. You’re going, and the appointment is set.
Now watch the anticipation build as you come up with exciting plans for your steamy date. And when the day comes, get to know each other even more intimately, share your hidden fantasies, and see where the night takes you.
Sex is a wonderful God given gift for us all to enjoy, preferably with someone we’re close to. So indulge yourself and your partner. Explore your desires together and have fun!