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Q&A: What Health Precautions Should Be Taken for Analingus

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In addition to enjoying anal sex, many people enjoy analingus. What exactly is analingus? It is the act of licking your partner’s anus to give them pleasure, and it is also called a rim job or rimming. Common sense tells us that the “back door” isn’t the most clean place on the planet to be putting your mouth, so how can you make it safer and healthier so you can still give your partner pleasure – and recieve pleasure – this way?

Question: What health considerations should be taken for analingus and “oral sex on feet’?

–Dan & Jennifer Forum Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mqxEbQC6BU[/youtube]

Cleanliness Is Key

The most important thing with analingus is cleanliness. You just can’t be clean enough! Definitely don’t do it right after your partner has a bowel movement (yuck!) and make sure your partner washes up good down there. Use antibacterial hand soap and hot water if you like, but regular soap works just as well as long as you get your anus or your partner’s anus good and clean. Many people have hair near their anuses that can trap bacteria and matter, and it can either be shaved or waxed for ultra cleanliness and smoothness down there. Bacteria transferred from the anus to the mouth can be dangerous and can make you very, very sick, so it’s important to take proper precautions before engaging in analingus.

Try Using A Barrier

If you or your partner really want to try analingus but are just really freaked out by the idea of putting your tongue down there, a great solution is to use a dental dam or other type of barrier. A dental dam is simply a square piece of latex or other material that goes in between the anus and your mouth. Plastic food wrap works well in a pinch too. This helps prevent bacteria and even matter from getting near your mouth, while still giving your partner the same sensations that analingus would were you not using a dam or barrier. The trick to make this feel extra good is to put a dab or two f good water based or silicone based lubricant in between the anus and the barrier to allow for more freedom of movement and titillating sensations.

Oral Sex On Feet

Some foot lovers enjoy licking or sucking their partner’s feet or toes, and many people enjoy the sensations of having their toes and feet licked and sucked. This is a dirty job too, however, not as dangerous as analingus can be if you’re not clean. Of course, a good, clean foot is better than one just out of a sweaty sock. Have your partner go for a pedicure to remove all the dead skin and calluses (and cute, painted toenails are always sexy!) and have them wash their feet well with hot, soapy water before putting your mouth on them. Generally, these are all the health precautions you need to take here, but you can use a dental dam or plastic food wrap if you really hate the idea of putting your tongue and mouth on someone’s feet. Just remember – a dab of lube under the dam or wrap does wonders!

Q&A: Anal Sex – How To Keep It Clean And Safe

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Anal sex can be great fun, if you take care in doing it properly.  On the other hand, anal sex can cause a lot of pain, discomfort and a big mess if you’re not careful! Does that mean that you shouldn’t have anal sex if it’s something you enjoy? Not necessarily. Here’s a few tips on how to keep anal sex clean and safe.

Question: My boyfriend really wants to do anal, and I do too, but honestly I’m afraid that he might get something on his penis. Could you please tell me what I can do for that not to happen, because I really want to do it for him.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8kl_J8wVRU[/youtube]

Keeping The Pipes Clean

Well, it has to be said that if you “play in the mud, you might get dirty.” If you have anal sex with your partner, he may end up getting some fecal matter on his penis, regardless of what you do to keep that from happening. You may end up having looser bowel movements or mild incontinence after having anal sex as well, so it may not just get on his penis. There are a few things you can do to minimize the risk of playing dirty, but you can’t eliminate. It’s just what the anus is for.

  • Eat a healthy diet with lots of fiber. Fiber is in lots of good vegetables, like broccoli, and can be found in a variety of other healthy foods. You can also use fiber supplements such as Metamucil. Fiber will help give you regular bowel movements, so nothing stays in one place too long.
  • Try an enema. You see porn stars having anal sex all the time, and unless it’s a fetish video, things stay pretty clean, right? That’s generally because they have enemas on a regular basis to “clean out the pipes.” An enema will remove most of the fecal matter from your intestines before you have anal sex. This is likely the best way to ensure that little to no matter ends up on your partner’s penis.
  • Have your partner wear a condom. Nothing will actually get on his penis, persay….
  • Realize that the anus is used for excrement – it’s a fact of life. If your partner would be totally grossed out by having a bit of fecal matter on his penis after anal sex, maybe anal sex just isn’t for him.

Keeping It Comfortable And Safe

Anal sex can be uncomfortable, especially if you don’t use enough good, water or silicone based lube. Don’t be shy on the lube, and remember to go slow. Never use desensitizing lubricant, because if it starts to hurt, you need to stop. Things can get torn back there, and spending the night in the emergency room for stitches in your back door is not fun. Don’t let your partner play rough back there. If you want rough sex, have vaginal sex. The anus is not the place to see how hard you can take it. Keep things clean by washing your hands, washing any anal sex toys you play with and never, ever insert the penis into the vagina after it has been in the anus without removing the condom and washing it thoroughly with soap and water first. If you use toys, stay with small toys that are designed with a wide base. The anus can stretch and sometimes doesn’t go back to the same size it was before if you stretch it too much. Incontinence anyone? When you respect anal sex for what it can be – extremely pleasurable for some people but also dangerous if you’re not careful – you can have fun without most of the mess and without pain and damage in the long run.

A Delicate STD Matter

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We’ve all been there: we get lulled into a false sense of comfort for one reason or another, and as a result we end up trusting the wrong person. It can be a harsh lesson, especially in the case of one of my students, who emailed me with her ethical dilemma. All names in the following story have been changed.

Dear Maryanne,

I feel so stupid that I’m even in this situation, but I need some advice for an ethical question that has come up. A friend of mine set me up with a man named Alan, whom I already knew to be a great philanthropist in our community. She recommended him as a potentially great match for me, and so we started going out. Things progressed quickly, which I felt comfortable with because my friend liked him so much, and he did in fact seem to be good and upstanding. Within a short time, we decided to spend a night together.

When the subject of condoms came into the conversation, Alan insisted that he had been tested for STD’s and was clean. Who in their right mind would accept that as an excuse not to be safe? Me, apparently, even after warning my goddaughter about safe sex and sending her to college with your book and a supply of condoms. I wasn’t even smart enough to follow my own advice.

Unfortunately, within a few days of sleeping with Alan, I became infected with herpes. Alan refuses to talk about it with me, becoming evasive when I asked him to send his test results to my doctor. So now I don’t know whether I should warn my friend not to set Alan up with anyone else, or just put this whole episode behind me and forget about it. I don’t want to cross any ethical lines, but at the same time I don’t want other women to go through what I’m going through now. Help!

Thank you in advance,

Laura

Dear Laura,

Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is always difficult to deal with when we discover that the guy we thought was decent and honest is actually the opposite of all those things. It can shatter your trust and cause untold amounts of emotional distress. It’s especially difficult to have such a harsh lesson dealt to you when you have obviously been doing your best to use your CORR® relationship techniques. You have learned the hard way that it’s not enough for someone else to endorse someone – you have to do all the detective work yourself.

But that doesn’t mean snooping or digging around – it’s as simple as communication and observation. Ask the 14 questions outlined in Hindsight, add any of your own, and then wait and see. If you become sexually involved too early, the “wait and see” part can become distorted, as your affection and attachment to this person can cloud your judgement and make you blind to any warning signs that come along. Of course, you probably realize all this now.

There is a silver lining to your cloud, though. You have the opportunity to love yourself and turn this seemingly negative experience into a way to grow and learn. So how will you figure out what to do now, as a child of the Divine? Here are some tips to get the ball rolling:

  • Spend a few days re-centering your ego. Get away from asking for outside validation by covering all your mirrors with construction paper. Look inward instead for answers, remind yourself about all the ways in which you are unique and strong and gifted, and watch how quickly you move back to a center of internal reference.
  • Cleanse yourself with a clearing ceremony. Make a ritual of writing down everything you need to heal, and all the things you want to let go. You can let a few friends in on it, make a beautiful and sacred place to hold your ceremony, and surround yourself with beauty and wisdom.
  • Take a break from sex. Six or nine months of dating without sex may seem like forever, but you’re worth the wait, and a period of abstinence can help you keep your thinking clear. Use the opportunity to look at why you trusted Alan so soon, and next time when you date, let the trust build naturally over time. You will see how you behave on dates, as well as what sort of men you are attracting.

I think you’ll find, that if you’re patient and gentle with yourself, that as you go through this process your answers will surface. You will soon see what is the most appropriate way forward for you. Please do contact me if you have any more questions.

Top 10 Contraception MYTHS

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Contraception has been around for many years, in many forms. Some forms of contraception are more reliable than others, while still other forms of “contraception” are downright myths. Here’s how to separate the facts from the fiction.

1. I Won’t Get Pregnant If I Douche After We Have Sex

No, no and no. Douching after sex actually pushes the sperm up farther into the vaginal canal, making their trip through the vaginal canal to your waiting-to-be-fertilized egg that much shorter and that much easier. Also, once the sperm reach the cervix and travel through the small opening into the uterus, it’s game over. No douching solution can go that far.

2. I Won’t Get Pregnant If He Pulls Out

Yes, if he pulls out, most of the sperm will go wherever he chooses to ejaculate after he does so. A penis, however, is a loaded gun! There’s ammo in the barrel at all times, even before your partner has an orgasm. Anytime a penis comes into contact with your vagina, you run the risk of becoming pregnant, no matter how “low” that risk seems to be.

3. I Can Have Safe Sex As Soon As I Take My First Birth Control Pill

In a perfect world, yes. However, most women need to take the pill for an entire month before it truly becomes the advertised 99% effective. To avoid getting pregnant, a woman must use backup contraception, such as spermicide, a condom or a diaphragm during this month to keep from becoming pregnant while her body is adjusting to the pill.

4. I Can’t Get Pregnant If I’m Breastfeeding

In truth, breastfeeding is designed to tell the body it doesn’t need to drop any more eggs. But our bodies don’t always listen to us, and breastfeeding isn’t a surefire way to protect yourself from getting pregnant again. In fact, some women report that they felt they were more fertile after having a baby than before because they got pregnant again right away!

5. I Won’t Get Prenant If I Have Sex And I’m A Virgin

Nope. Not a bit of truth to that one. If your ovaries have dropped an egg (which they do every month) and your partner ejaculates inside your vagina, that’s a recipe for pregnancy whether you’ve had sex a million times before or have never, ever had sex.

6. If I Pee Or Shower Right After Sex, It Will Prevent Pregnancy

Sperm travel very fast and it’s likely that many of them have already reached your cervix before you even hop in the tub. When men ejaculate, they ejaculate hundreds of millions of sperm. There’s just no way to wash – or urinate – all those sperm away. It’s impossible. And ladies, all your egg needs for pregnancy is 1 tiny, little sperm.

7. Certain Sex Positions Can Prevent Pregnancy

No matter what position you have sex in, if your partner ejaculates in your vaginal canal, his sperm are going to start swimming towards your cervix and possibly a waiting egg. Even if you’re standing up and you think the sperm are going to go down instead of up, those little guys can swim.

8. I Can’t Get Pregnant If I’m On My Period

While your risk of getting pregnant while on your period is lower than any other time of the month, it’s not low enough. Most women, however, have irregular cycles and many women can drop an egg or more than one egg during any time of the month. In addition to that, sperm can live inside your cervix and uterus for up to 5 days!

9. I Won’t Get Pregnant If We Have Sex In A Hot Tub.

Yes. You Can. The water in a hot tub is pretty hot, but not hot enough to kill the 500 some million sperm your guy is ejaculating.

10. I Can’t Find A Condom. A Balloon Or Plastic Wrap Will Work.

No! Can you imagine how uncomfortable a balloon will be for your partner? Not to mention it will probably bust or roll off. Plastic wrap? Surefire semen spillage. A condom is the only thing your partner can put on his penis during sex to help prevent pregnancy.

Is There A Male Contraception Pill?

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In the 1960’s, women’s reproductive health was revolutionized by the first female contraceptive pill. Lives everywhere were changed when women and men enjoyed the freedom to have sex without the consequence of procreation. Today, the birth control pill – also known simply as “the pill” – is the most widely used and popular form of birth control today, with surgical forms of birth control being in a different category. Women can take the pill without anyone knowing, leaving their reproductive health in their control.

What About Men?

Men, on the other hand, are limited in choices when it comes to their own sexual health. If they do not wish to conceive a child with a woman and want to take matters into their own hands, generally their only choice is to use a condom. Condoms are popular and effective – especially at preventing sexually transmitted diseases and infections – but can be conspicuous. Is there a male contraception pill that a man can take without his partner knowing to prevent pregnancy?

Not yet. But that doesn’t mean one isn’t in the works!

How Will A Male Contraceptive Work?

Ideally, a male form of “the pill” will work much the same way the female version does. A woman’s contraceptive sends hormones to her brain that tell her body not to release an egg every month. In a male contraceptive, a hormone would tell a man’s brain not to produce sperm. This is tricky though, because the primary hormones that would be used for this purpose produce a number of unwanted side effects, such as weight gain or loss of male characteristics. A combination of hormones, however, might just be effective at stopping the production of sperm without unwanted side effects. Other ideas for male contraception suggest two different proteins might be more effective at preventing sperm from impregnating a woman, with less side effects than a hormonal birth control. One protein would immobilize sperm, leaving them unable to move through the penis and into a woman’s body, and the other that will prevent sperm from maturing. All these potential forms of male contraception are intended to be reversible.

Will Men Use Birth Control?

Many women are left with unanswered questions when it comes to male contraception. When it becomes available, are men going to actually use birth control? Can they be relied upon to faithfully use their contraception so as to prevent pregnancy? Yes, but only with the proper education. Even though female birth control, condoms, and spermicide have been around for decades and have been proven to be extremely effective at preventing pregnancy, education about these contraceptive tools is still at an all time low. When male contraception is introduced, teens and adults alike must receive proper education on where it is available and how to use it.

No method of birth control is 100% effective, and only condoms can help prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Whether you’re a guy or a gal, it’s important to take your reproductive health into your own hands. Women, birth control is available to you and can be taken in conjunction with condom use, spermicide use and even male contraception when it becomes available. Educate yourself about your options and stay safe – and smart!