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How To Approach Women – Doing It Naturally

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When dating, approaching girls can feel awkward and staged. When someone that is simply good with women approaches a girl, they do not have a scripted line all made up for them to say to a girl. They simply see a girl they like and they go over to talk to them. It can be frustrating to watch, but in the end, it’s something that even the most awkward guys can learn.

Have No Fear

The key to this is understanding why they have no fear to start flirting with ladies. Any fear that you have of talking to girls comes from approval seeking behavior that you also must abandon. People that are simply good with dating girls never seek or care about approval.

If you are feeling nervous about talking to a girl, your focus is already out of line because your focus is on trying to gain her approval. If I ever feel slightly nervous when talking to a girl, I know it is because my focus is on the outcome, and I am pre-thinking about what she may think of me. It is at this time I remind myself “Every girl is special, and I want to show this girl what makes her special.” This re-aligns my focus and any nervousness I had goes away.

How To Really Approach Girls

Now, there are many beliefs on the proper way to approach girls when dating, whether it is going direct from the start, hiding your intentions through some pick up line, or talking about your surroundings, none of these are actually the natural way to approach ladies.

Any pretty girls you see has been chatted up by guys with bad game and have also been hit on by guys with the natural ability to talk to girls. If a girl can tell someone has that natural ability, they will open up from the start and that is why it is important to open like a true natural does. The key is opening in a way that shows you believe you have the right to be social.

  • Step 1: Look for eye contact, if you make eye contact with ANY girl. Time to get up and go over to her.
  • Step 2: While walking over, do not stare her down, but keep some form of eye contact with her while holding a slight smile. This will allow her to feel non threatened and also will make her aware of your approach. She will already begin to set in her mind that you are going to talk to her, making the whole approach less “random.
  • Step 3: Say “Hi.” (Now stop! Don’t keep trying to chat up. You have the right to be social, allow for her to see this and allow her to come into the conversation. Just simply say “hi” to the girl with a friendly smile. She will say “hi” back. Her attention is now on you. Many guys jump right in by stating their intentions like “Hi, I thought you were cute and I wanted to introduce myself.” However, this often creates a block in the conversation cause she only knows how to respond by saying “thanks.”
  • Step 4: Say “How’s it going?” (Now stop again. Your genuine curiosity here will help take over and you will be surprised of the detailed responses you can get from this simple question right off the bat. But you have to genuinely want to know how she is doing, your attitude should be like you are interested in meeting her, but am still feeling out if you want to talk to her.
  • Don’t be afraid to allow any silence to encourage her to talk a little more. This is how a natural talks; they are completely comfortable saying “Hey, how’s it going” to a stranger without it being weird for them. Girls immediately pick up on this as someone that is attractive and confident around girls.
  • Also it is very common that if the girl glanced over at you, she actually has something she has been thinking about or wanted to ask you. Often times the girl will actually spark any initial conversation after you say “Hi” just because you have taken the pressure away from the first meet.
  • Step 5: If conversation has not sparked immediately this is when you can insert your reasoning for going over and talking to her. I don’t really care what kind of opener you use, but using the system I just described above will make any opener you go with much smother and more successful. Personally I do not like to my waste time by chatting about nothing so I will follow up with “I know me coming over seems random, but honestly I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. My name is ___” Then I put my hand out for a handshake. If she shakes my hand and introduces herself, then I know I am in; she has complied with my conversation and also has a general interest in me.
  • This will make the rest of the interaction go much smoother. If she brushes it off by saying she is dating someone already or something, that is cool too because now I am not wasting my time chatting her up for 20 minutes then going for an awkward number close. I could have met three other great girls that were into me within that time. Naturals are very good at time management.
    • Also if she brushes off my response to saying she is cute, it is still no big deal. I have never gotten a negative response from that because no one ever approaches girls that way.  Either way, you have made their day and they will feel good cause you extended a genuine compliment their way.

    That is something you should have fun with and also further help rid any dating anxiety. If you genuinely think a girl is cute or there is something about her that catches your attention, and you tell her what that is, she will never give you a harsh or negative response because you have made her feel good. There is absolutely nothing to be anxious about if you are thinking, seeing, and approaching like a natural.

    The Weighty Issues of A Relationship: When Your Partner Becomes Less Attractive To You

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    While your partner’s appearance is likely not the top (or even tenth) reason you love him or her, it is still of some importance. Physical attraction can ensure your sex life stays exciting and it can keep you feeling appreciative of one another. In an ideal world, we would look as fresh-faced and fit as we did at the beginning of a relationship, regardless of the passing years. Yet as time goes by, weight will be gained, hair will be lost, wrinkles will appear, breasts will sag. (Especially with the possible introduction of those little gremlins we call children.) While you don’t consider yourself to be superficial, these things may still bother you.

    What Can Be Reasonably Changed?

    To be fair, are these changes in your partner something that can reasonably be fixed? If plastic surgery or expensive treatments are the only way to correct a problem, you are very likely being unreasonable. However, if the problem is that your partner’s weight has begun to rise drastically or she is actively doing something which affects her appearance (such as excessively tanning, not showering, or dressing differently), you might possibly have some sway in making a positive change. Simple suggestions like, “Remember how you used to wear your hair curly? I really liked that,” or “I think you would look just as good with pale skin as you do with orange, streaky skin” can be subtle, yet complimentary hints.

    Weight issues can be trickier, especially with women. Many women will go from fine to hysterically and inconsolably crying at the mere suggestion of diet and exercise. Rather, take up hiking, bicycling or another physical hobby and ask if she would join you. Don’t pressure her, though, or she will see through your ploy. That being said, do not take up this hobby for the sole purpose of tricking her into slimming down. Do it for yourself, for your own health, and as a way to share something fun together.

    How To Talk About It

    As a last resort (and oh, how I emphasize that), gently point out that you have noticed a change in grooming or eating habits. Point out that you will love your partner no matter what, but you are starting to worry about what may be affecting these changes.

    Nevertheless, the change that needs to take place may be your attitude. He may have decided that he wants to grow his hair long. She may feel the extra pounds accentuate her curves. People will change as they age. Love the person because of these changes, not in spite of them. Finally, cut your partner some slack; you are no Dorian Gray yourself.

    Seize The Day

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    All my senses come to attention as I hear the sound of fire trucks passing through. I feel a slight increase in my breathing and send out my silent hope that whomever the fire trucks are for will be okay. As I pause to consider the situation, I’m curious to know why it often requires calamity in order for us to really start appreciating things and seizing the day.

    My desk is a great example of how things become so easily ignored – all around me are photos of the people who are important to me, trinkets that have some sentimental value, cards given to me by loved ones, a medallion that Mother Theresa blessed, a small statue of the Buddha, and so forth. And yet even right now, my focus will wander onto other things, and I’ll completely fail to see what’s right in front of me. However, it has to be said that I’ve come a long way – these days I don’t need the wake-up call as frequently as I used to, simply because I have stayed committed to being present and staying awake, and I’m thankful that I’ve been able to make progress on that front.

    Awake!

    But of course the reason I react so strongly to the familiar sirens now is because it’s personal for me – I used to be that person who stayed in the comfort zone until something came and forcibly shook me out of it from time to time. I was spiritually asleep, and these interruptions would suddenly show me the temporary and fragile nature of life. I would get a fleeting glimpse of what it was like to be awake, only to slip back into slumber again.

    In the end, however, it’s these wake-up calls that have transformed me over time, and now that I know what to look for and how to respond, this has helped me stay awake for more of the time. If I have a day where I wake up feeling sore, it’s just my body telling me to take it easy for a day or so – it’s not a reason to complain or make excuses for my age. If I don’t always get what I want, rather than looking for someone to blame or playing the victim or doubting my competence, instead I just keep on living, knowing that good things are on their way, perhaps even better than what I originally asked for. When I lost my father to a heart attack, it became clear to me that I should never deny myself the opportunity to love, even when I have not been loved in the way I wanted. Unfortunately, that was a lesson learned the hard way.

    I do sometimes think that I’d like staying awake to be easier, that it can be a hassle sometimes to have to constantly be vigilant and try to stay present for the important things. It’s like the old Zen tale of all the masters gathering to discuss where to hide the Key of Life. One suggests that they could hide it at the bottom of the ocean, but the others say it would be too easy to find there. Another suggests the top of a mountain, but again the others dismiss this option. Finally, after much discussion, they finally realize where the best place to hide the key is, the place where humans would never think to look – inside themselves.

    Q&A: When She Says You Deserve Someone Better

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    Asking a girl out, or telling a girl that you have romantic feelings for her, can be intimidating. If she returns your feelings, great. If she doesn’t, that’s ok too. But what if she tells you that you deserve someone better? What does it mean? Does she like you but have poor self esteem, or is she just trying to let you down easy? Here’s how you can figure out this difficult situation.

    Question: What do you do when you tell her how you feel about her but she says you deserve someone better?

    –YouTube Viewer

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KEj81BkQEM[/youtube]

    She’s Letting You Down Easy

    Sometimes women find it difficult to let a guy down if she doesn’t return his feelings. She doesn’t want to hurt him, so she finds a way to blame herself instead of just saying that she doesn’t have romantic feelings for you. This may be the case if you’ve revealed your romantic feelings for her and she’s told you that you “deserve someone better.” She may be too afraid to tell you the truth.

    She Has Poor Self Esteem

    Many women have poor self esteem and if she’s told you that you deserve someone better than her, she may really believe it. She may feel like she’s worthless, or that she doesn’t deserve a healthy, happy relationship. There are many reasons that a woman may feel this way and it has nothing to do with you. She may have had self esteem issues for years, stemming from childhood. It may have to do with her parents or an old, abusive boyfriend. It may even be more than one issue that contributes to her self esteem issues. Regardless of where her poor self esteem stems from, the end result is the same – she can’t commit to a relationship or even begin dating someone because she doesn’t feel like she deserves it. It can be difficult though, to figure out whether she’s telling you that you deserve someone better because she has low self esteem or because she’s trying to let you down easy.

    Ask Her To Be Honest With You

    The only way to find out what her true motivations are in this situation is to ask her to be truthful with you. Don’t be angry or critical – just be open with her and encourage her to be open and honest with you as well. Tell her that no matter what, you won’t judge her for whatever is going on in her life. Let her know that even if she doesn’t return your romantic feelings and that’s why she told you that you deserve someone better, you’ll understand and that you can be friends if she wants or nothing at all. If she truly has poor self esteem, it’s important to let her know that you want to be there for her and that she’s worth a good relationship. She may not respond right away, but showing that you care for her may lead to a friendship which may turn into a romantic relationship at some point when she feels ready.

    Q&A: How To Gain The Confidence To Ask A Girl Out

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    It takes a lot of confidence to ask a girl out. Truth is, the only confidence you need to get the girl is self confidence. If you don’t have enough confidence in yourself as a person, you’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out, whether it’s any girl or the girl of your dreams. Can you get enough self confidence to ask a girl out?

    Question: How do you get a girl if you don’t have much confidence in yourself? Do you think some one can find somebody if they don’t have any self confidence? How can you gain confidence to ask her out?

    –YouTube Viewer

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cod0arR1HCQ[/youtube]

    Believing In Yourself

    Not having enough self confidence can be bad for you in more ways than just not being comfortable asking a girl out. Not having confidence in yourself will affect your job and your social life too. It’s important to have self confidence for a happy, successful life, in addition to having enough confidence to start dating. So it’s time to build yourself up. Start thinking about the great things about yourself rather than dwelling on all of your mistakes and wrongdoings. We all make mistakes, we’re human. Start figuring out what you like about yourself. Chances are, if you are confident enough to like something about yourself, other people will like it too.

    Stop Seeking Outside Approval

    People have a bad habit of seeking approval of themselves from others. Whether it’s your boss, your partner, your girlfriend or boyfriend or your spouse, people seek their approval before approving themselves. That’s absolutely backwards! You have to approve of yourself and be comfortable with yourself first before anyone else will approve of you. If you continue seeking outside approval of yourself, you’ll never get it. Start by looking within for self acceptance, so you can start to like yourself and be at peace with yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

    Practice Makes Perfect

    There’s nothing you have to lose if you ask a girl out and she says no. You’re just right back where you started. Frustrating as it is, it’s not a good reason to be shy and avoid asking girls out. You’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out until you practice doing it first! So maybe you don’t want to practice on the girl, but why not head up a bar or coffee shop and ask a girl out there, just to do it? She might say no, but at least you’ll have gotten some experience asking her out. You can also get over your shyness with girls by hanging out with them. Get to know the female species and what they’re all about. Girls can be difficult to understand, but by hanging out with them, you can get to know what they like and what they don’t like and you’ll get more comfortable just simply being around them. Also, if you’re too shy to ask a girl out, just go up to her and ask a question. Start a conversation. It doesn’t have to end in a date, but if you don’t go up and talk to her, it’s going to end in nothing at all. Girls love to talk and have conversations, especially if you’re the one asking her questions.