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Q&A: Can A Relationship That Starts As An Affair Really Last?

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People start relationships in a variety of different ways. You might meet someone at a coffee shop, a bowling alley, a bar or through a friend. Or you may have had an affair with them while you were in another relationship. Can a relationship that was once an affair really succeed or is this relationship doomed to end?

Question: What’s the chances a relationship can work when both sides lied and had affairs on their spouses? Do they normally last?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooccI4oJAfM[/youtube]

Statistically Speaking

Statistically, a relationship that starts out as an affair generally won’t work out. In fact, second marriages statistically have a higher failure rate than first marriages, and third marriages and so on have an even higher failure rate than that. But these are just statistics. It doesn’t mean that your particular relationship won’t work out or is doomed to fail. A relationship is made up of many, many more things than how you met. Many relationships have difficult beginnings that both partners are able to move past to create a healthy, happy relationship.

That said, two people must truly trust each other and be honest with each other if their relationship is going to last. Typically these are issues that people have with each other when the relationship starts out as an affair. You and your partner may both feel that the other is going to cheat again, since they cheated on their previous partners. While this doesn’t mean it will happen, you and your partner need to sit down and talk with each other and make a committment to be completely honest with each other and trust each other.

Repeating The Same Patterns

The biggest reason that relationships don’t work out is not because of how you met or even what went on at the beginning of the relationship. Many people carry with them the same habits and issues that made their previous relationships fail. Instead of solving the deeper issues that are at the core of the relationship problems, they assume that it is their partner’s fault and move on to find someone else without those “faults.” In reality, they are simply taking the same problems with them into a new relationship. They will repeat the same patterns over and over until they truly realize what is at the heart of the matter.

Resolve Your Own Inner Issues

For any relationship to succeed, whether it started out as an affair or not, you must solve your own inner issues before you are able to fully commit to a happy, healthy and trusting relationship. Take some time to think about what might have caused your earlier relationships to go awry, and think about how you might have contributed to those issues. Think about what your previous partners have said about you, and if there is a trend there. Are they all saying the same thing? Could there possibly be some truth to the matter? It’s not easy taking such a deep look within yourself at all your flaws and failures, but for any relationship to succeed, you need to resolve your own inner issues. Work towards bettering yourself and bettering your relationship by eliminating your contributions to problems in this relationship and past relationships.

Q&A: Oral Sex – How Do I Get Him To Go Down On Me?

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Girls love oral sex just as much as a guy loves blowjobs. But many guys don’t give their partners as much oral sex as they would like! If you’re really into receiving oral sex from him but only find yourself on the giving end, here’s how to get your partner to go down on YOU as much as you go down on him!

Question: I have a question that I can’t ever seem to find an answer to. I always hear advice like “how to get her to go down on you more.” But what I want to know is how do I get HIM to go down on ME more?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AULISqYhsw[/youtube]

Ask Him!

Your partner may not be aware that you really love getting oral sex. He may think you love giving head more! So tell him point blank that you really enjoy it and want him to do it. Some guys need straightforward information to get a clue that you’re really into something or really want to try something. If you’re a little shy about asking him, hint around at it. Tell him how much you love the idea of oral sex period, for both men and women. Watch a sexy movie together and when a guy goes down on a girl, tell him how hot it gets you.

Find Out Why He Doesn’t Like It

There are many reasons why some guys don’t like oral sex. Find out what his reason is! Does it hurt his neck? Would sitting on a pillow or using a different position help? Or is he more receptive to trying simultaneous oral sex, better known as the sixty nine position? Find out why he doesn’t like it or isn’t doing it – without being critical towards him – and try to remedy those issues. If you’re critical towards him when he’s being open with you about why he doesn’t like giving oral sex, he’ll shut down and any chance you have of getting him to do it will fly out the window.

Hygiene And Body Chemistry

Hygiene is one of the biggest reasons guys don’t like giving oral sex. He may have had a bad experience before where smell and taste is concerned, and he may think that all girls are like that. Make sure you are clean, up to the point of taking a shower right before having oral sex. Keep an eye out for things like yeast or bacterial infections that can upset the natural pH of the vagina and cause things like odor and discharge. If pubic hair is an issue for him, consider trimming or shaving completely. It also may be a body chemistry thing. His semen has a certain taste to it, and so do your vaginal secretions. Your particular taste may not be something that jives with his own chemistry and it may not taste good to him no matter how clean you are. Body chemistry mismatches happen more often than people think. Try eating some sweet fruit like pineapple or strawberries to make your secretions taste sweeter, and avoid things like cabbage, garlic, onions or other strong foods.

Q&A: How To Turn Down A Good Friend Who Wants To Date

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When a friend wants to date and you don’t return the feelings, it can make for an uncomfortable situation for both of you. You’ve turned him down, but he’s still at it and it’s starting to get a little creepy! Here’s how you can let him know that you’re not interested in being more than friends and actually get him to hear you.

Question: There is this guy that I’m friends with and he’s a nice guy but I don’t have any interest in him other than friends. He asked me out and I said no, but he is still sending me gifts and asking me out. Having to reject him constantly is getting kind of pathetic and is creeping me out! How can I get him to get over me without hurting his feelings?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Tt3EAbhNZk[/youtube]

Be Firm

One of the main reasons that people who want to be more than friends keep at it even after they’ve been turned down multiple times is because the person they like is giving them mixed signals. You may have turned him down, but you also may have given him some kind of signal that makes him think he just needs to try harder. It’s time for a sit down talk with this guy to let him know that you’re really not interested in any kind of relationship beyond just friends. Period.

Safety Tip: When telling him that you’re not into him that way, make sure you’re in a public place during the day where there are other people around. Tell a friend where you’re going and when you expect to be back. Take your cell phone with you. DO NOT meet him at his house or yours, or anywhere at night. He may just be a sweet guy who is a little too intense, or he may wig out after being rejected face to face like that. Just make sure you’re being safe and that you’re not giving him the opportunity to harm you in any way.

Don’t Answer The “Why” Questions

When you have “the talk” with him, he may ask you why you don’t like him or what’s wrong with him. Don’t answer these questions! If you do, you’re giving him the opportunity to change what you think is wrong with him and then he’ll believe that once he’s “changed” that you’ll like him. This is not what you want to have happen. Let him know that these are your feelings and this is all about you. He is perfectly dateable material and there’s nothing wrong with him, but the romantic connection between you and him just isn’t there and you’re simply not moving beyond friends.

Do You Really Want To Be Friends?

If this guy is creeping you out, stop and think if you truly want to stay friends with him after you let him down. Did you have a good friendship with him before he asked you out? Were you close friends? If not, don’t try to tell him you want to stay friends just so he won’t get hurt. It’s okay to tell someone that you don’t want to date them or be friends. You deserve people in your life that enrich it, not take away from it or stress you out. If being friends with him afterwards isn’t something that you want either, it’s okay to tell him that.

Q&A: Sex Tip – How To Get Her To Be On Top

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One of the most challenging things in the bedroom is finding new sex positions to be in that you and your partner both enjoy. If you are really into a certain sex position but your partner doesn’t seem to want to try it, here are some great ways to get her to be more interested in it so you both can enjoy fun and exciting sex!

Question: My girlfriend and I are happy and in love and everything is going great. We have sex almost everyday. It’s wonderful! But she doesn’t like to change up the sex position. She knows that I like when she’s on top because we talk about it and when we “talk dirty” via phone/text she always says she’s going to get on top of me, but when we get in bed, it seems like she doesn’t want to. Do you think she wants me to throw her around and put her on top of me and stuff? I’ve thought about trying that, but I don’t want to throw her into a situation she doesn’t want to be in.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9fcKLBzCDo[/youtube]

Trying Other Positions

So maybe your partner doesn’t want to try being on top right now, but perhaps she’ll be interested in trying some other positions that give her a little more control without giving her all the control. If your partner is very shy, especially with sex, she may be apprehensive about having all the control when it comes to having sex. Some great sex positions to warm her up to being on top are the lotus position or the spoon position. In the lotus position, you and your partner are both sitting up, with her sitting on your lap facing you. This allows her to be “on top” but then again, so are you! In the spoon position, you will enter your partner from behind while you are both lying down as though you were spooning. Although you are in control here, she can actually control the depth and speed of your penetration.

Help Her Get On Top

Your partner may want you to take the initiative to get her on top. She may be too shy to get out of her missionary position comfort zone herself, but she may like it once she gets there. During sex, gently roll over so she ends up being on top for a few minutes. If she seems to really like it, stay there! If not, roll her back over so you’re on top again. You can increase the time she spends on top as you do this more often during sex, and eventually she will be on top for the majority of the time during sex! Another thing you can do is go down on her first and get her really, really turned on. She will be more receptive to new things when she’s losing control and in the throes of passion. Help her to relax before sex with a hot bath or a glass of wine, and if she’s in a more relaxed state of mind, she’ll be more receptive to your advances.

Encourage Her!

Let her know how much you like it when she’s on top. Encourage her when she is and let her know how great she is doing. Give her the right body language too, such as making noises during sex when she is pleasing you or grabbing her harder and holding her tighter. She may be afraid of being on top because she’s afraid she won’t please you! Just let her know how great she’s doing and how much you like it and she’ll be more inclined to do what really turns you on.

Q&A: Masturbation – How Can I Make Myself Squirt?

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Squirting is considered by many men and women to be the holy grail of female orgasms! Some people think it’s weird or gross, but others find it incredibly hot! If you’re ready to reach that next level with your orgasms, here are some things you can try so you can learn to squirt, both when you masturbate and during sex with a partner!

Question: I’ve now been trying to get to the ‘next level’ with myself, to female ejaculation. I have read and watched videos about it (inclusively on your website), but I just wanted to know if you had any tips or advice on how I can just let go. I get very excited when I masturbate and I’ve tried penetration and clitorial stimulation at the same time. When I come, it just won’t go that far, to female ejaculation. It sometimes leaves me feeling still just a little unsatisfied, even if I’d just had a mind blowing orgasm. Please give me your take on the subject!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK8ACqbg1i0[/youtube]

Working With A Partner

If you’ve never squirted before, you may want to try doing it with a partner at first. It’s difficult to let go and completely surrender to the orgasm when you’re controlling your own pleasure. Allowing a partner to stimulate you to the point of orgasm lets you simply sit back and enjoy the ride! You’ll be able to concentrate more on the waves of pleasure you’re feeling, rather than concentrating on doing it harder or faster. Make sure you’re comfortable and with a partner that you’re comfortable with! Don’t try to squirt for the first time if you’re with someone who you’re not completely 1oo% comfortable with and honest with. If you’re with a new partner, wait until you have been with them sexually for some time. Chances are, you won’t be able to let go enough to have female ejaculation if you’re with a new partner anyways.

Manual Stimulation

The best way to acheive squirting for the first time is through manual stimulation. Whether you’re using a sex toy or your partner is using his hands, it is much more effective for squirting than oral sex or penile penetration. Even more effective at creating squirting is both clitoral and g-spot stimulation! This often will cause you to lose control more easily than through just one or the other. However, it is the g-spot orgasms that will cause you to squirt, so if you’re not at least stimulating the g-spot, you’re not going to achieve your goal. Rabbit vibrators are excellent for squirting orgasms, as they give both the g-spot and the clitoris intense stimulation and pleasure.

What Does It Feel Like?

When you’re ready to squirt, it may feel a little like you have to urinate. You may feel the need to “bear down” as though you’re delivering a baby, but that’s because all the muscles down there do everything. They are used when you urinate, have a baby, have sex, have a bowel movement, and have an orgasm. So it may feel like you’re getting ready to do all of those things! When you feel the need to bear down, go with the flow. Instead of fighting it, which many women do because they’re afraid of doing something embarrassing, ride it out. Give it your all. Allow yourself to totally go over the edge. You may not squirt the first time or even after dozens of times trying, but as you learn how your muscles act and react and practice letting go completely, you’ll eventually learn to squirt.