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Q&A: 5 Ways To Make Condoms More Sexy

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While condoms are the best way to have safer sex, sometimes using a condom can seem to “kill the mood” or take away from you or your partner’s arousal. Does that mean you shouldn’t use a condom? Heck no! Here are some excellent ways to take putting on a condom and being safe from “blah” to sexy!

Question: I have a question, sometimes when I use a condom I lose my erection because I don’t get much stimulation and it’s a bit of a mood killer stopping and putting it on. Any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIzl1u-AoOM[/youtube]

Lube It Up

Putting a dab or two of lube on the inside of a condom before he puts it on can make a world of difference in how intercourse feels for him with a condom on. Better yet, get your man turned on by using lube to give him a great hand job before putting the condom on to get him revved up beyond the point of no return. Just remember to wash your hands with soap and warm water after the condom is on so you don’t accidentally get sperm or semen where you don’t want it.

Use Flavored Lubes

Condoms come in a variety of scents and flavors, which can make using a condom much more fun. Flavored condoms are absolutely essential for super safe oral sex, because giving your man a blow job with a regular condom on is just plain “yuck!” Try lots of different flavors to find the ones you and your partner like best, and don’t forget – flavored condoms also smell great too! Even if you’re not planning on oral sex, flavored condoms can still add that little extra sexy something.

Use Your Mouth

The biggest complaint about condoms is that stopping what you’re doing to put it on destroys the mood. Why not make putting on the condom a part of foreplay instead? Use your mouth to put on your partner’s condom, slowly unrolling it as your mouth moves down his penis. Use your lips instead of your teeth and before you know it, you and your partner will be having safer sex without a hitch!

Experiment With Different Condoms

In addition to the various fun flavors that condoms come in, there are also a variety of textures, thicknesses and brands for you to try too! Try ribbed or studded condoms, or ultra thin “skin like” condoms. Warming lubes are also great for her pleasure! Many online retailers that offer sex toys also offer condoms, and you can buy “sampler packs” at an incredible discount so you can try them all.

Put It On During Foreplay

Instead of waiting until you’re ready to have intercourse, try putting on a condom before foreplay. If it fits right, it’s not going to come off because the tapered base of the condom will hold it on nice and snug. By the time you get to the sex part, you might have even forgotten you have one on at all!

It’s A Safe Way To Get Some

One of the sexiest things about condoms is putting one on means you don’t have to freak out about STD’s and pregnancy36 while you’re getting some. You can relax and have fun instead!

Q&A: I Feel No Relief When Masturbating – Am I Doing It Wrong?

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Masturbation for women is a little different and much more involved than it is for a guy. Women, however, require a bit more mental, emotional and physical stimulation to reach orgasm, especially if they’re newer to masturbation. Here’s what you can do if masturbation isn’t satisfying your sexual needs.

Question: Hey Jenn, I’m going to ask you, since you’re a girl. When I do “that” by myself, a lot of times it’s not that great and leaves me still horny as hell! Am I doing something wrong?

–Facebook Fan

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evOIljymcFw[/youtube]

Relaxing Before Masturbation

Women can’t have an orgasm when they’re stressed or thinking about work or the kids. This is one of the biggest problems that women have with masturbation. It’s so difficult to calm their mind down and get it off the “to do” list and in the mood that they either don’t masturbate at all or have trouble doing it and reaching orgasm. If you want to have a great masturbation session and feel satisfied afterwards, it’s essential that you relax before masturbating. Draw a bath, have a glass of wine if you’re of age, or do something else that you find relaxing and refreshing. Read a steamy romance novel or even an erotic novel to get your mind off of everyday stresses and start thinking about pleasure.

Start With Your Clitoris

If you’re new to masturbation, the easiest way to masturbate is to head straight for your clitoris. You don’t have to insert a dildo or other toy into your vagina to acheive orgasm. Once you get the hang of things, you may want to add g-spot stimulation to your masturbation but until then, you’ll have the most success by simply focusing on your clitoris. Use lots of lube to prevent discomfort, and use a vibrator if you like. Just explore the area until you find out what feels good – and then keep doing it. Don’t focus on going harder or faster, unless that’s what you like. If you want, go slow. Just remember to stay relaxed and keep your mind from wandering off into stressful territory. Another issue that women have when masturbating is not allowing themselves enough time to explore themselves. Instead, they focus on having a “quickie” instead of relaxing and letting the pleasure take over. Many times when women are so focused on the end result, they can’t get there at all.

Let Go When The Orgasm Comes

A lot of women have trouble letting go when orgasm approaches. When you’re about to have an orgasm, your muscles will tighten up and your breath will catch in your throat. Sometimes at this stage, women simply freak out, tense up and stop breathing and as a result, their bodies start to come down from the brink of orgasm instead of jump off the edge. When your body reaches the point of orgasm, it’s important to remember to breathe deeply and relax your muscles. Don’t focus so much on the orgasm itself, relax and just focus on the pleasure. Continue to do what feels good and the orgasm will come – no pun intended. You might even get multiple orgasms!

Q&A: Can Ejaculation Cause Blindness?

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Many stories have been told about sex, masturbation and ejaculation to try to scare people into not having sex or not masturbating. Several years ago, masturbation was believed to be wrong for a man (and enjoying sexual pleasure was believed to be wrong for women) and that ejaculation would cause blindness. Can it?

Question: Can ejaculation cause blindness? This is something that I heard from various sources (people I know and people I talked to on the Internet) but I don’t know if there has actually been proven cases about this. Is it true or is this something that people made up?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o30J-qFYrTQ[/youtube]

Ejaculation Does Not Cause Blindness

Ejaculation – during sex or masturbation – never has and never will cause a man to go blind. This is what is known as a sex myth, and there are many of them. Other sex myths about masturbation and ejaculation are that it will cause a man to grow hairy palms. Going blind or growing hair on your palms is not something that will happen from simply ejaculating during sex or masturbation. There are no special or “rare” cases of this happening – it won’t happen, ever. It never did. If these sex myths were true, just about every guy in the world would be blind or have hair on his palms.

Where These Myths Come From

Generally, sex myths like this come from the last hundred years or so, when many religious and philisophical organizations decided it was bad or morally wrong to masturbate and shouldn’t be done. Rumors were spread that bad things would happen if you masturbated or ejaculated, such as going blind or growing hair on your palms. People who went blind were often looked down upon, almost as though they were proof that this affliction existed. Young boys and men were afraid to masturbate or ejaculate, because they were afraid horrible things would happen to them. Rumors and sex myths such as these were a form of control, a way for religious and philisophical organizations to force people to do what they believed was right.

What To Do When Someone Tells You A Sex Myth

If someone you know, or someone on the Internet tells you something you know is false, just dismiss it. Although the vast majority of civilization has realized that masturbation and ejaculation won’t in fact cause blindness or hair to grow on the palms, some people are still suggesting this is true to try to continue to force people to adhere to their own belief system. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation and ejaculation – in fact, it’s a normal and healthy way to discover and enjoy your sexuality. A man’s body was designed to ejaculate, as a form of sexual release and to help make babies. Sometimes, if a man does not ejaculate after sexual tension has built up, this can cause some discomfort or pain. Masturbation is an excellent way to relieve sexual tension without the consequences that sex can bring, such as sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Q&A: How To Clean An Uncircumcised Penis

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There is a great deal of controversy between many pro-intact groups on how to properly clean an uncircumcised penis and there is a lot of information on the Internet now that is contradicting. What should you do when cleaning a boy’s intact penis and what shouldn’t you do?  

Question: I had a baby boy 7 months ago (our third) and we didn’t get him circumcised. My question is, what so we need to know for teaching him about proper care when he gets older? I have looked it up and there is lots of contradicting information. Does he need to pull back the skin to clean it or not? Any other information about this issue would be great!!!  

–YouTube Viewer  

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON1P5gMDLPY[/youtube]  

Never Forcibly Retract The Foreskin  

When a boy is young, the foreskin is fused to the head of his penis, called the glans, and won’t easily retract. This is completely normal and healthy. When cleaning a boy’s penis at this stage, it is imperative to never forcibly retract the foreskin. If it doesn’t move easily, don’t move it. Wash what you can see thoroughly with gentle soap and warm water during bathtime and with a wet wipe at diaper changes. Until the foreskin retracts on its own, there is nothing more that needs to be done at this stage to keep an intact penis clean.  

When The Foreskin Retracts  

The foreskin begins retracting easily at a different age for everyone. There is no set “age” when a foreskin begins retracting. Many people believe it is not until puberty, while others believe it is more in the toddler years. Some boys will retract as early as 3-18 months while others won’t retract until they’re adults. It varies from child to child. When the foreskin begins retracting, it is time to pull back the foreskin during cleaning and rinse it with warm water. If your child is very young when this happens, this is something you will do until he is old enough to do it himself. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that “for the first few years, an occasional retraction with cleansing beneath is sufficient.” If he is older when his foreskin retracts, instruct him on how to pull the foreskin back himself and wash underneath it.  

Keeping It Clean  

An intact penis produces a good amount of a white, waxy substance called smegma underneath the foreskin. Smegma isn’t harmful at all, but it can cause a very strong odor to come from the penis. Washing gently underneath the foreskin is an important part of daily hygeine for boys and men. The American Academy of Pediatrics has published and regularly updates guidelines on how to care for a boy’s uncircumcised penis:  

If your son’s foreskin separates before he reaches puberty, an occasional retraction with cleansing beneath will do.

Once your son starts puberty, he should clean beneath his foreskin as part of his daily routine, just like washing his hair and brushing his teeth.  

Teach your son to clean his foreskin in the following way:

Step 1: Gently pull the foreskin back away from the end of the penis.

Step 2: Rinse underneath the foreskin with soap and warm water.

Step 3: Pull the foreskin back over the penis.

The American Academy of Pediatrics is an organization of 60,000 primary care pediatricians, pediatric medical suspecialists, and pediatric surgical specialists dedicated to the health, safety, and well-being of infants, children, adolescents, and young adults.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics, Updated 6/07

Q&A: First Time Sex – I Didn’t Bleed. Is That Normal?

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First time sex feels different for everyone. It may hurt or feel tight, or it may feel great. You may have heard that girls bleed when they lose their virginity. Many years ago, a woman’s blood on her husband’s bedsheets was proof that his bride was a virgin when he married her. Do all girls bleed after having sex for the first time?

Question: I am a young teenage girl and recently in September I lost my virginity to a guy I didn’t really care about. It hurt a bit, but I didn’t bleed.  Recently I had sex with a guy I have been crazy about for years, and it hurt a lot worse then my first time but I still didn’t bleed. Is there something wrong with me? Or is this natural? 

P.S. There was protection used both times. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a bad person.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFbtDxltRWY[/youtube]

Not All Girls Bleed

While many girls do bleed after having sex for the first time, some girls don’t. This is perfectly normal and natural. If a girl does bleed after losing her virginity, it may be simply a few spots, but it can also be heavier like a period flow. It can last just a few minutes or a few hours, and sometimes can last the better part of a day. If you bleed very heavily after having sex for the first time, or continue to for several hours or more than a day, make an appointment to see your doctor right away.

What Causes Bleeding After Sex?

Girls are born with a protective “covering” over their vaginal openings called a hymen. Most of the time it does not cover the opening completely, but usually has a small hole in the middle to allow for menstrual flow to escape. During sex, however, the hymen is broken because a penis is generally bigger than the small hole in the hymen. When the hymen is broken, this often causes some mild bleeding and is perfectly normal. However, since not all girls bleed after having sex for the first time, there must be other ways that the hymen can break – and in some cases, it doesn’t break at all or was never really there in the first place.

Other Ways The Hymen Can Break

One of the reasons that virginity never could be “proved” by blood on the sheets after a woman has sex for the first time is because the hymen can break a number of different ways, before a girl even thinks of having sex. The hymen can break while horseback riding, a bumpy SUV ride, or when inserting a tampon for the first time. In the case of a tampon breaking the hymen, you may never know that your hymen broke because you would most likely have mistaken the blood for your menstrual flow. If you don’t bleed after having sex for the first time, it doesn’t mean that you are unhealthy or something is wrong with you. Just remember to have your annual exams and use protection during sex to stay safe and healthy.