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You are here: Home / Archives for sex advice

Q&A: What Health Precautions Should Be Taken for Analingus

By loveandsex

In addition to enjoying anal sex, many people enjoy analingus. What exactly is analingus? It is the act of licking your partner’s anus to give them pleasure, and it is also called a rim job or rimming. Common sense tells us that the “back door” isn’t the most clean place on the planet to be putting your mouth, so how can you make it safer and healthier so you can still give your partner pleasure – and recieve pleasure – this way?

Question: What health considerations should be taken for analingus and “oral sex on feet’?

–Dan & Jennifer Forum Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mqxEbQC6BU[/youtube]

Cleanliness Is Key

The most important thing with analingus is cleanliness. You just can’t be clean enough! Definitely don’t do it right after your partner has a bowel movement (yuck!) and make sure your partner washes up good down there. Use antibacterial hand soap and hot water if you like, but regular soap works just as well as long as you get your anus or your partner’s anus good and clean. Many people have hair near their anuses that can trap bacteria and matter, and it can either be shaved or waxed for ultra cleanliness and smoothness down there. Bacteria transferred from the anus to the mouth can be dangerous and can make you very, very sick, so it’s important to take proper precautions before engaging in analingus.

Try Using A Barrier

If you or your partner really want to try analingus but are just really freaked out by the idea of putting your tongue down there, a great solution is to use a dental dam or other type of barrier. A dental dam is simply a square piece of latex or other material that goes in between the anus and your mouth. Plastic food wrap works well in a pinch too. This helps prevent bacteria and even matter from getting near your mouth, while still giving your partner the same sensations that analingus would were you not using a dam or barrier. The trick to make this feel extra good is to put a dab or two f good water based or silicone based lubricant in between the anus and the barrier to allow for more freedom of movement and titillating sensations.

Oral Sex On Feet

Some foot lovers enjoy licking or sucking their partner’s feet or toes, and many people enjoy the sensations of having their toes and feet licked and sucked. This is a dirty job too, however, not as dangerous as analingus can be if you’re not clean. Of course, a good, clean foot is better than one just out of a sweaty sock. Have your partner go for a pedicure to remove all the dead skin and calluses (and cute, painted toenails are always sexy!) and have them wash their feet well with hot, soapy water before putting your mouth on them. Generally, these are all the health precautions you need to take here, but you can use a dental dam or plastic food wrap if you really hate the idea of putting your tongue and mouth on someone’s feet. Just remember – a dab of lube under the dam or wrap does wonders!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, analingus, oral sex, safe sex, sex advice, sex tips

Q&A: Anal Sex – How To Keep It Clean And Safe

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be great fun, if you take care in doing it properly.  On the other hand, anal sex can cause a lot of pain, discomfort and a big mess if you’re not careful! Does that mean that you shouldn’t have anal sex if it’s something you enjoy? Not necessarily. Here’s a few tips on how to keep anal sex clean and safe.

Question: My boyfriend really wants to do anal, and I do too, but honestly I’m afraid that he might get something on his penis. Could you please tell me what I can do for that not to happen, because I really want to do it for him.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8kl_J8wVRU[/youtube]

Keeping The Pipes Clean

Well, it has to be said that if you “play in the mud, you might get dirty.” If you have anal sex with your partner, he may end up getting some fecal matter on his penis, regardless of what you do to keep that from happening. You may end up having looser bowel movements or mild incontinence after having anal sex as well, so it may not just get on his penis. There are a few things you can do to minimize the risk of playing dirty, but you can’t eliminate. It’s just what the anus is for.

  • Eat a healthy diet with lots of fiber. Fiber is in lots of good vegetables, like broccoli, and can be found in a variety of other healthy foods. You can also use fiber supplements such as Metamucil. Fiber will help give you regular bowel movements, so nothing stays in one place too long.
  • Try an enema. You see porn stars having anal sex all the time, and unless it’s a fetish video, things stay pretty clean, right? That’s generally because they have enemas on a regular basis to “clean out the pipes.” An enema will remove most of the fecal matter from your intestines before you have anal sex. This is likely the best way to ensure that little to no matter ends up on your partner’s penis.
  • Have your partner wear a condom. Nothing will actually get on his penis, persay….
  • Realize that the anus is used for excrement – it’s a fact of life. If your partner would be totally grossed out by having a bit of fecal matter on his penis after anal sex, maybe anal sex just isn’t for him.

Keeping It Comfortable And Safe

Anal sex can be uncomfortable, especially if you don’t use enough good, water or silicone based lube. Don’t be shy on the lube, and remember to go slow. Never use desensitizing lubricant, because if it starts to hurt, you need to stop. Things can get torn back there, and spending the night in the emergency room for stitches in your back door is not fun. Don’t let your partner play rough back there. If you want rough sex, have vaginal sex. The anus is not the place to see how hard you can take it. Keep things clean by washing your hands, washing any anal sex toys you play with and never, ever insert the penis into the vagina after it has been in the anus without removing the condom and washing it thoroughly with soap and water first. If you use toys, stay with small toys that are designed with a wide base. The anus can stretch and sometimes doesn’t go back to the same size it was before if you stretch it too much. Incontinence anyone? When you respect anal sex for what it can be – extremely pleasurable for some people but also dangerous if you’re not careful – you can have fun without most of the mess and without pain and damage in the long run.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, analingus, oral sex, safe sex, sex advice, sex tips

Q&A: Valentines Day Gift – Anonymous Or Not?

By loveandsex

Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, and if you’re admiring someone from afar, you may be wondering whether to get them a gift or not. Should you give them a gift at all, or give them an anonymous gift? Here’s what to do if you’re stuck on getting your crush a gift – or not.

Question: I have a question seeing as its nearly February 14. I was going to get the girl I really like gifts, but I’m afraid to because she will know it’s me [we’re both teenagers]. What should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvwN4fmMHIA[/youtube]

Afraid Of Rejection

If you’re afraid of getting the girl (or guy) you like a gift for Valentine’s Day, it’s more likely that you are not so much afraid to get them a gift (and them knowing it is you who got them the gift) but you are afraid of rejection. Everyone is afraid of rejection, especially when it comes to dating, such as asking a girl or guy out. Here’s a sound piece of advice – don’t worry so much about rejection. Many times, when you get rejected, it has nothing to do with you. It’s not you who is being rejected. Most of the time, the girl or guy already has some things going on in their life that they are just too involved with at that time to be accepting of a gift or a date. For example, a girl may say “no” to a date because her puppy just died, or because she’s in a relationship, or because she’s a lesbian. Hey, you never know. More often than not, it has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person.

Don’t Regret What You Didn’t Do

If you hold out on yourself, and don’t ask out the girl you like or give her the special gifts you want to give, you’re going to be regretting it your entire life. Many people spend the rest of their lives wishing they did something they didn’t do, because they wonder how it would have turned out if they had done it. Don’t let life slide past you that way! Give her the gifts, say they’re from you, and tell her you like her. Do you really have all that much to lose? Even if you do get rejected, you can at least say that you took that step and weren’t afraid of making your feelings known. If you don’t do it, you’ll wonder for the rest of your life what it would have been like if you had.

Valentine’s Day is about showing the people you like or love that you care. Whether it’s your spouse, your girlfriend or boyfriend or simply someone you have a crush on, Valentine’s Day is the day to let it all come out. Don’t hold back! If you like them or love them, let them know. Let them know how special they are to you, and don’t be afraid to say that you enjoy having them in your life, even if it’s just your friend! Valentine’s Day is the best day of the year to let your feelings about someone be known. So go for it, take the risk and show someone that you care!

Filed Under: Valentine's Day Tagged With: sex advice, Valentines Day, Valentines Day Gifts, Valentines Day Ideas

Q&A: My Best Friend’s Girlfriend…

By loveandsex

It’s happened to many of us – our best friend’s girlfriend or boyfriend likes us, and we’re afraid of destroying their relationship. It’s a weird, uncomfortable type of threesome that can really weigh on everyone’s shoulders. What can you do in this sort of situation?

Question: My best friend’s girlfriend has feelings for me, and my best friend knows it but he still loves her anyway. I fear that her liking me is destroying their relationship because they are fighting all the time. I don’t want them to break up because of me, because they make the perfect couple. I need your help – what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GLUu0dAAiM[/youtube]

What Can You Do?

Unfortunately, there is not a single thing you can do about how someone feels about you. You can’t change or stop their feelings, so if she likes you and has feelings for you, there’s nothing you can do to change that. So ask yourself these questions – Are you egging it on? Are you flirting with her and leading her to believe there is something going on between you? Or are you simply just aware that she has feelings for you? Everyone enjoys flirting, and it can be fun when someone likes you, even if you don’t plan on taking it any further than flirting. But in this instance, flirting back with her can be detrimental, no matter if you want to start a relationship with her or not.

It’s Time For A Sit Down

Everyone in this situation needs to have a sit down, heart to heart talk. Everything needs to get out in the open, because feelings that are closeted can only make a situation worse. Sit down with your friends at home, in a comfortable and familiar environment that is not in public. Don’t have this conversation over dinner in a public place! Have a few drinks to relax if you will, but anyone that has too many at this point is simply a ticking time bomb. Let everyone have a chance to speak here, because everyone is involved. Listen to your friend and his girlfriend, and keep an open mind.

Two Choices To Make

If you return your best friend’s girlfriends feelings, it makes the situation a bit more complicated. Both you her have a choice to make in this situation. Each of you must choose the relationship you value the most, and begin to pursue only that relationship. If you value the relationship with your best friend more than you wish to pursue a relationship with his girl, it’s important that you keep her out of your life as much as possible. If you want to try your hand at having a relationship with the girl, it’s time to say goodbye to your best friend. Unfortunately, in this situation, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. There’s no way you can pursue a relationship with her, nor can she pursue a relationship with you, without losing your best friend. Take some time to think about what really matters to you here and what you feel is the most important, because you might need to make a sacrifice that will change your life.

Filed Under: Relationship Advice Tagged With: dating, dating advice, marriage, sex advice

Q&A: What’s The Best Way To Masturbate If You’re A Guy?

By loveandsex

What is the best way to masturbate if you’re a guy? Is there a wrong way to masturbate? You asked, you want to know! Here are some great masturbation tips for guys, but feel free to get creative and make up your own ideas.

Question: I’m curious, what’s the best way to masturbate? (I’m a guy)

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK2FplFmY0M[/youtube]

There Is No Wrong Way To Masturbate

No, there really isn’t a wrong way to masturbate as long as what you’re doing feels good. Very frequent masturbation can cause raw skin, but this usually isn’t too harmful and will go away in a few days when your penis is given a break from all the friction caused by masturbating. In very, very rare cases, frequent and rough masturbation can break the muscle fibers within the penis causing it to become crooked (we’re talking a lot of rough masturbation here). Normal and even daily masturbation won’t hurt you, as long as you’re pleasuring yourself and not causing any kind of pain. If your style of masturbation falls under those categories, have fun and don’t be afraid to be creative and find new ways of giving yourself pleasure! Regular masturbation is a healthy and fun part of every man’s sex life.

Hygeine And Comfort

The important thing when it comes to masturbation is to practice proper hygeine. Wash your hands before and after masturbation and if you use a lot of lubricant or lotion, wash your penis after masturbation as well. Make sure to clean up your ejaculate afterwards too.

The best way to stay comfortable during masturbation is to use lots and lots of lube! A great, water based lubricant always works better than lotion and it lasts longer too. Find a private place to masturbate where you’re comfortable and can look at your favorite magazine or video for extra arousal. Make sure you’re not going to be disturbed in the process, so you can focus totally on yourself and your pleasure without worrying about someone coming in or getting caught. Lock the door!

Sex Toys For Boys

There are some great sex toys for boys out there that can be used during masturbation that can enhance the sensations and make masturbation even more pleasurable. Masturbation sleeves are excellent, because they’re soft, squishy and many of them even have great little suction cups. Penis pumps and penis rings are also great to use during masturbation as well. Anal plugs and anal beads also work well for masturbation if you enjoy anal play or prostate stimulation. Sex toys for boys work a lot better than homemade male masturbation toys, such as toilet paper rolls and fruits or pies! They feel better too! Of course, make sure to use lube with your toys – they work best when you use lots and lots of it! Just make sure to use proper hygeine after using a sex toy and wash it with special sex toy cleaner or hot, soapy water and dry it before you put it up. Believe it or not, investing in a good sex toy for masturbation can be a lot more satisfying than just using your favorite hand!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: how to masturbate, masturbation, sex advice, sex tips

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