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You are here: Home / Archives for sex advice

Public Displays Of Affection: Where Do You Draw The Line?

By loveandsex

Public displays of affection aren’t at all uncommon. Love and amazing sexual chemistry can be like blinders on a horse. You’re out with your significant other, and all you can see or focus on is them. That’s a wonderful feeling to be sure, but you have to be careful about just how far you go when you’re out in public. This is not only because no one really wants to be that inappropriately gross couple, but also because you never know who might be around.

If you’re dry-humping on a blanket in the park and your boss or your grandmother happens to stroll by and see you, you are going to be in for some major embarrassment. Consider your surroundings and the likelihood of such a scenario occurring before you start getting hot and heavy.

Location, Location, Location

Engaging in appropriate levels of PDA is not unlike purchasing real estate—it’s all about location, location, location. There are loads of questions to ask yourself when you’re out with your S.O. and feeling frisky.

  • Are you somewhere that relatives or co-workers of yours often frequent?
  • Is the location the kind of place where lots of children will be around, like a playground or amusement park?

In these scenarios, it’s probably best to go no further than some hand-holding and the occasional kiss or two. Your company’s friends and family picnic is hardly the appropriate place to make out with your boyfriend or girlfriend for an hour.

On the other hand, if you’re out dancing at a club, you’ll be much more likely to get away with lots of kissing and getting handsy. If you’re on some tropical getaway where you don’t know anyone, you can feel free to indulge yourselves as well. As long as you’re not doing anything that might get you arrested if you get caught, there’s really no need to worry.

Even if someone walks down the beach at night and sees you fooling around on a lounge chair, the odds that you’ll ever encounter that person again are slim-to-none.

How Dark Is It?

Light levels are another important factor to take into consideration. If you’re out in broad daylight or in a well-lit room surrounded by people, everyone will know exactly what you’re up to. If you’re in the last row in a dark movie theater or the back corner booth at a bar with low-lighting, most of your antics will be obscured from the general population’s view.

It’s even better if you can make sure that you’re located out of the sightline of most of the people in the space you’re in. Again, the last row in a dark theater works if there’s really no one sitting near you. If the theater is packed, you might want to keep your activity to a minimum. You probably wouldn’t want to be sitting directly next to a strange girl giving her guy a handjob if the situation was reversed, so show the people sitting near you the same respect.

The Defining Question….

Perhaps that’s the most important factor to consider. If you were out and about and saw a strange couple doing what you’re about to do, how would you feel about it? When we’re head-over-heels, it can be difficult to keep a grasp on what’s acceptable or not.

It’s easy to feel that we’re different—an exception to the rule. So pull yourself out of the situation for a minute and imagine if you were the accidental observer of the movie theater blowjob or the heavy makeout session at the mall. Showing others the courtesy that you would expect will typically help you from going too far when it comes to PDA.

Filed Under: Kissing Tagged With: foreplay, kissing, morality, sex advice

How To Make After-Sex Moments Romantic

By loveandsex

After sex, guys are notorious for rolling over and going to sleep. Girls, on the other hand, may get up and rush to the bathroom to get cleaned up right after a man ejaculates inside her. However, these activities can absolutely kill any romantic mood you had going and make the sex seem less than amazing. Try these tips to bask in the after-sex glow and turn up the romance after getting busy.

Get Unplugged

In the age of technology, hardly anyone goes anywhere without their laptops, Kindles or iPhones and this includes the bedroom. Your guy may want to flip on the game after doing it, while you may want to text your best friend to tell her the amazing new thing your man did during oral sex.

Instead of turning on the television, checking your email or uploading a book to your e-reader, take some time to get unplugged after having sex. If you have to, turn everything off before you get busy so you’re not tempted. You may want to even go so far as to turn off your phones so that no one can bother you while you enjoy some quiet time with your partner after an amazing orgasm or two.

Soap Down With An After-Sex Shower

You and your lover may both want to clean up after sex, but that doesn’t mean you have to make it all business and no fun. Shower sex is great, but you can make having a shower after sex just as much fun! Light some candles or use dimmer switches if you have them and create a little ambiance before you start the water. You can also use your favorite scented body wash or soap and make an event out of it.

Relish the feel of your partner’s skin underneath your hands as you lather up, taking special care of his package to show your partner how good it made you feel just minutes earlier. Wash each other’s hair, giving each other a nice scalp massage in the process. After your shower, put on some comfortable pajamas and head to bed. You’ll both feel amazing after having great sex, great orgasms, a long hot shower and slipping into something that feels nice!

Do A Reverse Strip Tease

After having morning sex, it’s often depressing to watch your partner put their clothes on to get ready for the day. Instead of letting it bum you out, give your partner a sexy, reverse strip tease by putting their clothes on for them. Slowly put your partner’s underwear and socks on, kissing their stomach and legs as you go.

Then, button his shirt up slowly, looking him directly in the eyes as you do it. Finish by putting on his tie for him. He’ll love feeling your hands all over him as you put his clothes on, and you’ll really make him feel like you love him. Make it even sexier by doing a reverse strip tease for him, by slowly putting your clothes on while he watches. Make sure it’s something sexy!

Have A Romantic Meal Afterwards

Most big dates are planned with the romantic dinner at the start of the date and sex afterwards. Instead of going the cliche route, mix it up a little by having sex first and then heading out (or staying in) for a romantic meal! It’s a great way to keep things fresh and exciting without going too far outside your box.

If you don’t feel like going out, order in your favorite meal and have it delivered (and eat it off each other if you like!) or serve something simple like wine and cheese or hors d’oeuvres. Top it off with a relaxing nightcap for the perfect evening!

Make Out

Making out is often what preludes sex, but why not make it the follow up event? Instead of simply going to sleep, heading off to work or doing other mundane things after having mind blowing sex with your lover, try spending several minutes just kissing him deeply and enjoying the feel of each other.

Part of what makes making out less fun when you’re in a relationship with someone is that you pretty much know where it’s going to lead. Pretty soon, you’ll feel a hand on your breast or butt and the game will be on. By making out with your lover after sex, you bring back the element of surprise that made just kissing so much fun when you and your partner first got together!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: intimacy, making love, romance, sex advice, sex tips

Sex Acts That Will Scare Her Away – For Good

By loveandsex

Sex with your girl can be super fun – or it can be super scary for her if you aren’t careful to keep things from going too far. It may seem like common sense to stay away from anal sex or rape fantasies the first several times you have sex with a girl, but you’d be surprised at what guys will try without thinking about how a girl will react to it. While some chicks dig a little BDSM in the bedroom, there are a few things that you’ll want to avoid if you don’t want to scare her away for good.

Scary Looking Sex Toys

Some sex toys are fine to use with a woman you haven’t been with for very long, such as slender or bullet style vibrators, lubes and feather ticklers. These are fairly benign and probably won’t freak a girl out or offend her, even if she’s never used sex toys before. What a girl doesn’t want to see in your bedroom are huge dildos, anal beads or whips. Large contraptions that look like they could service several people at once will definitely scare your girl off. Until you really get to know her and talk to her about what sex toys she likes, keep the scary stuff in the drawer of your nightstand.

Forced Sex

It’s true – some girls have rape fantasies. Granted, they are few and far between but there are women out there who enjoy the idea of forced sex. However, these women are generally only comfortable having fun with their fantasies with someone they know well, trust a lot and have been with for a long time. Don’t assume that any girl will enjoy forced sex, because it’s much more likely that she won’t – and she may assume that you’re really trying to date rape her. At best, your partner is going to be scared away – and at worst, you may face rape charges.

Dirty Talk That Goes Too Far

Most girls like to know that they’re pleasing the guy they’re with. That means, don’t be shy on the sexy moans, noises and gasps that let her know you’re really into what she’s doing. Even a little dirty talk can be acceptable for many women, if you’re telling her what a good job she’s doing sending you over the edge to orgasm. What is not okay when it comes to dirty talk is when you call her names (such as “bitch” or “slut”) or when you talk about doing really strange or scary things (such as wanting to pretend she’s your sister or that she’s an animal).

Anal Sex – If She’s Not Expecting It

While a lot of girls are into anal sex and anal play, it’s definitely a line you don’t want to cross until you talk to the girl you’re with about how she feels about anal sex. Some guys think that it’s hotter if they surprise a girl with a finger up her bum, but in truth, it will probably just freak her out and may make her want to stop having sex with you all together. If you really want to try anal sex with a girl, wait until you’ve done it with her several times and talk to her about it beforehand.

Hitting Or Choking Her

It is almost never acceptable to hit or choke a woman during sex. Light slapping is sometimes okay if you get permission first, but actual hitting is something just about every girl is going to find absolutely detestable. The same goes for choking – erotic asphyxiation is dangerous and will definitely scare your woman and possibly hurt her if she’s not expecting it. Hitting and choking are just two things that need to be kept off limits for you and your partner’s safety.

Fetish Play That You Haven’t Talked About First

While pretty much everyone has a fetish of some kind or another, some people find other fetishes (ones beside their own) very strange and weird. Don’t break out your fetish supplies until you’ve discussed them with your partner, and definitely don’t spring them on her without asking her permission first. Avoid dirty talk about your fetish, and keep it under wraps until you’ve been with her several times and have gotten to know her well. For her to want to try a fetish with you, she’ll need to trust you and feel very comfortable around you sexually. It usually takes a while for girls to warm up to guys this way, so cool your heels on introducing her to your fetish for awhile.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: forced sex, rough sex, sex advice, sex tips

Q&A: I Want Him To Touch Me More When We Make Out

By loveandsex

When kissing your lover, you may want to move on to some heavy petting but he may not seem ready to – at least, on the surface. Is it because he really doesn’t want to go that far or because he’s afraid he’s going to touch you the wrong way and upset you for going too far? Chances are, it’s the latter. Here’s how to get him to try a little foreplay while you’re making out!

Question: I want my boyfriend to touch me more when we’re making out. Can you help me on how to encourage that?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4ipBvj2s74[/youtube]

Is He Afraid To Make The First Move?

A lot of guys – especially guys who have been in relationships before – have been chastised for doing something wrong or touching a woman in the wrong way while making out or using foreplay. He may be unsure where to touch you or how you like to be touched, so he may just be afraid to make the first move in fear of doing something wrong or touching you in a way that might offend you or turn you off.

If you think he’s afraid to make the first move, try talking to him about it when you’re not making out, such as over lunch or a romantic dinner. Let him know without criticizing him that you love kissing him and making out with him, but you would love it even more if you could feel his hands on your body. Be sure to let him know how far is too far though – if you’re not ready for sex, let him know where you’re going to draw the line. It will only make things worse if you give him the go ahead to touch you while you’re kissing each other but you have to reprimand him as soon as he goes “too far.” Make sure he knows ahead of time what is okay and what makes you uncomfortable.

Gently Guide Him Verbally

When you’re in the moment, it’s super sexy to whisper into your lover’s ear what you’d like him to do next. Guys really love this for two reasons – because your hot breath in his ear turns him on and because your guidance means that he doesn’t have to guess at what to do and when to do it. This will help him to learn what you like and when you like it, because a lot of guys (actually, most guys) aren’t sure when to move forward because they just don’t want to cross that line without the go-ahead from you.

This is also a great time to introduce dirty talk! Guys love dirty talk and it’s a great way to really heat things up while you’re making out. Tell your partner in a sexy way what you want him to do – such as saying, “I love it when you pinch my nipples” or “I’d like you to touch my ____.” Also include descriptive words such as “hard, soft, slow, etc.” that not only lets him know where to make his next move, but also how you’d like it. This gives him confidence to actually make the moves, because he’s not scared he’s going to do something that will upset you or turn you off.

Give Him Positive Reinforcement

When he does something that you really enjoy, make sure you praise him and let him know that you liked it. You definitely want to let him know that you like something while he’s doing it by making noise or showing him with your body language that he hit the right spot, but you also want to follow that up with verbal encouragement as well. Men need to hear what they’re doing right if you want them to keep doing it – chances are, if you don’t give him that positive reinforcement, he’ll assume that he’s doing it wrong and stop, even if you absolutely love what he’s doing. Remember to keep the comments positive too – a negative comment will stick with him for a long time and negate all of the nice things you said. If you must redirect him, don’t tell him he’s doing something wrong – instead, let him know that you liked something else even better.

How To Show Him What You Like

  • Use chocolate sauce to highlight the areas you want him to lick and suck
  • Use a feather tickler to trace the path you want his mouth or hands to take around your body
  • Bring home a book on erotic massage and read it together – try the techniques on him first and then let him try them on you
  • Use your imagination to give your partner visual aids on where and how you want him to touch you!

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: foreplay, kissing, sex advice, sex tips

Sexting: How To Use Curiosity Texts To Turn Her On Like Crazy

By loveandsex

While sexting is a great way to get your partner turned on enough to rip your clothes off and jump your bones as soon as you walk in the door from work, getting started is no easy feat if you’re not sure how to break the ice. A racy text that talks about explicit sex isn’t something that you want to send if you haven’t gotten her to engage you in a sexy conversation first – in fact, it may very well offend her. Here’s how you can word the first “sexts” to get her thinking about more and open the door for racier conversation.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=019vKSLwatk[/youtube]

How To Get Started

Sending your partner a text that explicitly details everything you want to do to her tonight (or what you want her to do to you) without building her curiosity will most likely backfire and only serve to offend her and put her off the whole idea for good. Easing into sexting the right way is one of the most important things you need to do, especially if you want to be able to use sexting in the future to revv your lover’s sex drive and send her into a horny frenzy before the two of you even touch each other.

While not all of your sexts have to be PG-13, it’s very important that the first ones you send are. Just like you would want to use foreplay in the bedroom to turn her on and get her warmed up for sex, you want to flirt with her a little through your texts to get her ready to talk about more.

How To Engage Her Curiosity

Start by sending her texts that spark her curiosity and make her wonder just what exactly is going through your head. Your first text should be something she’s going to have to respond to, simply because it makes her that curious! If you start out by describing exactly how you want her to give you a blowjob later, that leaves no room for her to think and wonder and let her imagination run wild – because you definitely want to let her imagination run wild.

Examples Of Great Curiosity Building Sexts

To get started, try some of these steamy but not too revealing sexting examples to get her wondering what you’re thinking about and engage you in sexting. These examples will get her mind going, which is exactly what you want to happen. If her mind isn’t involved, she’s not going to get turned on!

  • “I can’t stop thinking about you….”
  • “Do you remember that amazing night we had awhile back?
  • “Tonight….”
  • “I can’t wait to see you….”
  • “I need to feel you….”
  • “When I think of you, everything gets harder”
  • “Do you know what I want to do?”
  • “Do you know what would look good on you?”
  • “Thinking of you is driving me crazy!”

Once your girl responds to the first text (which she will if you’ve piqued her interest), follow up by leading her in the direction you want to go – a subtle but steamy conversation that plays with her imagination and gets her mind thinking and fantasizing about YOU. This is how you can use sexting to turn your girl’s cell phone into an erotic novel – which is of course, way more effective for a woman than any other kind of stimulation. Women respond much better to anything that stimulates their brains and their imaginations – such as an erotic book – than they will to visual stimulation like pictures or videos.

  • You say: “I can’t stop thinking about you….” She says: “Why?” You say: “Because you turn me on sooooo much!”
  • You say: “Do you remember that amazing night we had awhile back?” She says: “Yes, why?” You say: “I’ve been wanting to do that again sooo bad.”
  • You say: “Do you know what would look good on you?” She says: “No, what?” You say: “Nothing….”

As you can see from these examples, the “….” in the text is probably one of the most important parts of the text itself. It’s what allows her imagination to roam and fill in the blanks. She’ll wonder what you’re really thinking, because you made it appear as though your thoughts weren’t finished. After you build her interest in playing the sexting game, you can start making your sexts hotter by suggesting what you’d like to do to her later – whether you want to see her wearing her sexiest lingerie or you want to surprise her with oral sex by lifting up her skirt as soon as she gets home.

Filed Under: Sexting & Phone Sex Tagged With: dirty talk, phone sex, sex advice, sexting

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