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Q&A: How To Clean An Uncircumcised Penis

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There is a great deal of controversy between many pro-intact groups on how to properly clean an uncircumcised penis and there is a lot of information on the Internet now that is contradicting. What should you do when cleaning a boy’s intact penis and what shouldn’t you do?  

Question: I had a baby boy 7 months ago (our third) and we didn’t get him circumcised. My question is, what so we need to know for teaching him about proper care when he gets older? I have looked it up and there is lots of contradicting information. Does he need to pull back the skin to clean it or not? Any other information about this issue would be great!!!  

–YouTube Viewer  

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON1P5gMDLPY[/youtube]  

Never Forcibly Retract The Foreskin  

When a boy is young, the foreskin is fused to the head of his penis, called the glans, and won’t easily retract. This is completely normal and healthy. When cleaning a boy’s penis at this stage, it is imperative to never forcibly retract the foreskin. If it doesn’t move easily, don’t move it. Wash what you can see thoroughly with gentle soap and warm water during bathtime and with a wet wipe at diaper changes. Until the foreskin retracts on its own, there is nothing more that needs to be done at this stage to keep an intact penis clean.  

When The Foreskin Retracts  

The foreskin begins retracting easily at a different age for everyone. There is no set “age” when a foreskin begins retracting. Many people believe it is not until puberty, while others believe it is more in the toddler years. Some boys will retract as early as 3-18 months while others won’t retract until they’re adults. It varies from child to child. When the foreskin begins retracting, it is time to pull back the foreskin during cleaning and rinse it with warm water. If your child is very young when this happens, this is something you will do until he is old enough to do it himself. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that “for the first few years, an occasional retraction with cleansing beneath is sufficient.” If he is older when his foreskin retracts, instruct him on how to pull the foreskin back himself and wash underneath it.  

Keeping It Clean  

An intact penis produces a good amount of a white, waxy substance called smegma underneath the foreskin. Smegma isn’t harmful at all, but it can cause a very strong odor to come from the penis. Washing gently underneath the foreskin is an important part of daily hygeine for boys and men. The American Academy of Pediatrics has published and regularly updates guidelines on how to care for a boy’s uncircumcised penis:  

If your son’s foreskin separates before he reaches puberty, an occasional retraction with cleansing beneath will do.

Once your son starts puberty, he should clean beneath his foreskin as part of his daily routine, just like washing his hair and brushing his teeth.  

Teach your son to clean his foreskin in the following way:

Step 1: Gently pull the foreskin back away from the end of the penis.

Step 2: Rinse underneath the foreskin with soap and warm water.

Step 3: Pull the foreskin back over the penis.

The American Academy of Pediatrics is an organization of 60,000 primary care pediatricians, pediatric medical suspecialists, and pediatric surgical specialists dedicated to the health, safety, and well-being of infants, children, adolescents, and young adults.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics, Updated 6/07

Q&A: How Can You Tell If He’s Circumcised – Visually?

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If you’ve never seen a circumcised penis before, it can be difficult to tell whether a penis is circumcised or not just by looking at it. There are, however, a few key features that a uncircumcised penis has that are different from a circumcised penis. Here’s how you can tell them apart.

Question: How can someone tell they’re circumcised visually?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2pTT8IOdi8[/youtube]

An Uncircumcised Penis

An uncircumcised, or intact penis, has a few distinct characteristics that help identify it. An uncircumcised penis has what is called a foreskin, which is a thin skin covering the head of the penis. In adult men, the foreskin retracts and is moveable, allowing it to slide over the head of the penis towards the base during an erection, completely exposing the glans. The foreskin then slides back into its normal position covering the head of the penis when it is not erect. Because the head of the penis is inside a protective covering, the skin of the glans is genrally very soft and moist. An intact penis produces a white, waxy substance underneath the foreskin called smegma, which is generally washed away during proper hygiene routines.

A Circumcised Penis

When the foreskin is removed from the penis during a circumcision surgery, the head of the penis is exposed to air and friction from underwear and clothes. While the glans is designed to be protected from friction by the foreskin, allowing the skin of the glans to stay supple, an uncircumcised penis must produce thicker skin cells in response to friction and air exposure. The head of a circumcised penis is dry and tough, much like the skin on your arm or other parts of your body that are exposed to the elements. A penis that is no longer intact has no foreskin, but most of the time the skin on the shaft of the penis will still move towards the head of the penis and back and generally won’t go over the head of the penis. In some circumcision cases, however, not enough skin is left after the surgery to allow for this movement. The most defining characteristic of a circumcised penis is the coronal ridge, or the ridge at the bottom of the head of the penis that separates it from the shaft. While uncircumcised men still have a coronal ridge, it is mostly hidden by the foreskin. The ridge is much more prominent on a circumcised male, and can be seen and felt easily.

Circumcised vs. Uncircumcised

Besides the way they look, there are quite a few differences between circumcised and uncircumcised penises. Penises with an intact foreskin have about 8,000 more nerve endings just within the foreskin, making the penis much more sensitive and receptive to stimulation. Circumcised penises, however, do not have to be cleaned as thoroughly as an uncircumcised penis, as there is n0 skin to pull back and clean underneath. Both circumcised and uncircumcised penises vary in size, shape, length and thickness. Men with either type of penis are capable of having a satisfying sex life and pleasing their partners sexually.

Q&A: Help! My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Use A Condom!

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While many couples decide together to use condoms during sex, some couples don’t agree on condom use. Your partner may not be advocating for the use of a condom, or he may actually be downright against it! Some guys don’t like the way sex feels with a condom on, but is that a good reason to make sex less safe and risk pregnancy or STD’s? Here’s what to do if your guy doesn’t want to wrap up.

Question: Thanks to you guys, I used a condom my first time. Now my boyfriend doesn’t want to use one any more, but I think we NEED to use one. How should I tell him we need to use a condom without weirding him out? Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlBt09DnugE[/youtube]

Your Body, Your Choice

It’s up to you to protect your own body – no one else is going to protect it for you. While you want to please your partner and give him the best sex possible, neglecting your own needs and wants – especially when it comes to protecting yourself from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases – isn’t going to do either you or your partner any good. Instant gratification isn’t worth the possible consequences in this situation. While the sex may feel better now without a condom, you’re going to regret your decisions if you end up with an STD or end up becoming pregnant. It’s your choice if you want to have sex without a condom or not, despite what your partner says. If you want him to wear a condom, make it a stipulation that he wear one if he wants to have sex with you. If he doesn’t want to wear a condom at all, let him know that you’re making the decision not to have sex with him unprotected – period. No glove, no love.

Female Condoms

Female condoms are now available and are as effective at reducing the risk of pregnancy and STD’s as traditional male condoms. A female condom is made from polyurethane – not latex – and isn’t as stretchy or pliable. A female condom has a ring on one end covered in polyurethane, and a hollow tube of polyurethane connecting to a larger, more flexible ring with an opening. The smaller ring is inserted into the vagina against the cervix, while the outer ring stays outside the vagina and folds over the labia. During sex, a man’s penis nor his ejaculate can come into contact with the woman’s vagina, as the ring and tube of polyurethane protects the cervix as well as the walls of the vagina. If your partner refuses to wear a male condom, consider placing a female condom inside you before sex. Female condoms are a great way to take your protection into your own hands, and allows you to protect yourself on your own without involving anyone else in the decision.

Other Ways To Protect Yourself

You can also protect yourself with oral birth control, various forms of spermicide including gel, foam and films, or visiting your doctor to be fit with a diaphragm or a cervical cap. All of these methods of birth control are things you can do on your own to protect your body from the risk of pregnancy. Unfortunately, the only ways to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases is to use a male or female condom.

Q&A: What Is A Normal Penis Size?

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Many boys who are growing up are wondering about penis size. What is a normal penis size? When does a penis start growing? When does it stop? There are a lot of questions out there about what a normal penis is, but not enough answers. Here’s what you want to know about penis size – what is normal and what isn’t.

Question: I’m 14, small for my age(4 foot 8) and I was curious about penis size… I know I’m small for my age but I’m 14. Will my penis grow and is this normal? Should I be worried about it?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIg7Ff_C42U[/youtube]

Penis Growth

A boy’s penis starts growing when he hits puberty, which is earlier for some boys and later for others, and stops growing when he does – generally in late adolescence to early adulthood. There is no average amount of penis growth during this period of time –  some boys will grow more overall than others. If the penis starts out small, it may grow to become very large, or it may only grow a few inches. A penis that starts out large may only grow a little, or it may grow a lot. How much your penis will grow is all up to mother nature.

Penis Averages

The average penis size is about 2-3 inches when it is slack and 5-6 inches when it is erect. There are, however, many men who have much smaller or much larger penises than this, and if you’re bigger or smaller than the “average,” that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Just like the size, shape, color and texture of vaginas differ from person to person, so does penis size, shape and color. A man’s penis may also be very thick or very thin in circumference, regardless of the length. Things you should not experience during penis growth is pain, so if you feel like something is wrong, go see your doctor. An extremely rare complication of circumcision is not having enough skin for the penis to grow into, causing intense feelings of discomfort when you begin having erections. Even if nothing is wrong, it’s better to have a little peace of mind. Don’t worry – your doctor has seen it all before. If you’re not comfortable talking to your doctor about your penis, or any other topic about your body and health, find a doctor who you are comfortable with.

Learn To Be Comfortable With Who You Are

Part of growing up is learning to be comfortable in your own skin. Whether you’re light or dark, tall or short, fat or skinny, we all must come to terms with who we are and learn to be comfortable with ourselves. Accepting your penis size, shape and color falls into this category too. Everyone is different and that’s a good thing! While learning to accept ourselves for who we are and what we look like isn’t always the easiest thing to do, it’s part of becoming an adult. If you’re concerned that your penis is too small, too short, or even too big, don’t worry! Being human means we all look different. That’s the beautiful thing about diversity! Learn to be comfortable with yourself and learn to like being in your own skin.

Q&A: Personal Question For Dan And Jennifer

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 People who have gotten to know us through our website, through YouTube and through Facebook often wonder what we’re all about. Why do we do what we do? Do we have kids? Do we talk to them about sex? Here are some answers to your most personal questions.

Question: I have a question that’s been burning on my mind ever since I started following you on YT. You guys have kids, right and you guys are American, I take it. So, how do you reconcile what you do on YT (and as a job, I think?) and the kids? Do they know, do they mind or… well, what’s the deal? Anyway, great job, I love your channel. Cheers!

–YouTube Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZysGX7PcwI&feature=channel[/youtube]

Our Mission

One of the reasons that we do what we do is because we really believe in it! Our mission on Ask Dan & Jennifer is to educate people about love, sex and relationships in a totally non-judgemental way. We believe people should have a resource for love and sex, without the judgement that often comes with the territory. We want them to have a safe environment where they can ask questions about sex and get an informative answer without criticism – no matter what. We want to address the topics that everyone else is afraid to talk about, like teen sex and contraception or how to have safe and clean anal sex, because there just isn’t enough good information out there about many of the topics that people want to know about. We want people to be able to make informed decisions about love, relationships and sex instead of making decisions blindly and having to deal with the consequences – not because they were afraid to ask, but because someone was afraid to answer them.

Answering Your Most Asked Questions

Do You Have Kids?

Many people want to know – do we have kids? How do we justify what we do with our children? Yes, we do have kids – two girls, ages 8 and 10. We feel like what we do on YouTube and on Ask Dan & Jennifer is important and we really, really believe in it. Our children get the privilege of growing up with parents who are happy together, love their work, and who are trying to change the world. I can’t think of a better example for our kids.

How Much Do Your Kids Know?

So how much do our kids know? Do we talk about the topics we discuss on YouTube with our kids? Yes, in a way. In a very age appropriate way. They know that we talk about love and sex, that we help people with relationship troubles, and that they will get to read all of it when they get older.

Do You Discuss What You Talk About On YouTube With Your Kids?

We don’t discuss the specific topics, but we freely answer any questions they may have in an age appropriate way. They currently have a basic understanding of what sex is, that it’s something that grown ups share when they are in a loving relationship, they know what a condom is and where it goes, and that we will answer any questions they may have in the future without judgement. We not only believe in educating and informing the world about sex and relationships in a responsible way, we also believe in educating our children about sex and relationships responsibly.