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Sperm, Semen and Safe Sex – What You Need To Know

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Sex education, unfortunately, is at a low nowadays. Although our society has evolved exponentially since sex was considered completely taboo – sex education is still primitive. Television shows, movies, music and even the Internet has taken sex to a completely new level, with songs about “booty calls” and nudity on prime time, but adults in this nation can’t bear to discuss more than the scant basics of sex with their youth. It’s about time somebody steps up and gives solid, useful information about every aspect of sex in an educational way so that our youth can make informed decisions about sex, oral sex and foreplay.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

My girlfriend gives me blow jobs, hand jobs, etc. Every time we play, this white sticky stuff come out, and then after a few minutes cum comes out – what is all this stuff coming out of me?

 

–Jason, TX

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9zEsXQluHY[/youtube]

Sperm, Semen and Precum

Lots of girls want to know – what’s the skinny on sperm, semen and precum? What are they?

Precum – The clear, thinnish and somewhat sticky liquid that comes out of the head of the penis in small amounts during penile stimulation before he actually ejaculates. Precum can and does contain live sperm, although in significantly smaller amounts than actual semen.

Semen – The whitish, thicker fluid that comes out of the head of the penis during ejaculation that contains millions of sperm.

 Sperm – Organisms carried within semen and precum that join with a woman’s egg to conceive a child.

 Which Of These Can Get A Girl Pregnant?

In short – all of them! Precum and semen both contain sperm. Having unprotected sex without a condom, even before the man ejaculates, can get a woman pregnant. It is better to treat a penis like a loaded gun. Many women believe that allowing a man to have intercourse with her without a condom is safe, as long as the guy pulls his penis out of her vagina before he ejaculates, and ejaculates away from her vagina. While this is safer than allowing your partner to actually ejaculate inside you, it is not a way to protect against pregnancy. Sperm can travel out of the penis pretty much at any time – allowing a condomless penis to get within the vicinity of your vagina puts you at a definite risk of getting pregnant.

Don’t chance it! Even allowing your partner to rub his penis on the outside of your vagina without a condom can transmit sperm from the penis to the vagina and there’s a reason that sperm are called “little swimmers.” They travel! For the safest type of sex, use a condom to prevent pregnancy. You can also discuss with your doctor other methods of birth control that can be used in conjunction with a condom for added protection, or in lieu of a condom if your with an STD free partner and in a completely faithful, monogamous relationship.

Which Of These Can Transmit A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

In short – all of them! Again, treat a condomless penis like a loaded gun, even more so if you’re unsure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease. To clarify, unless you have a piece of paper in your hand that says your partner has tested negative for STD’s and you’re 110% positive your partner has not had any type of sexual contact with anyone else since the test was taken, you’re unsure of whether your partner has an STD. Protect yourself. Both precum and semen can carry the HIV and AIDS virus, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases. It is important to be even more vigilant if you’re concerned about STD’s, however, because you don’t just have to worry about any fluids from your partner’s penis coming into contact with your vagina, you also have to worry about these fluids possibly coming into contact with your mouth or any open sores or cuts on your body.

For example, if you knicked yourself shaving and your partner rubs his penis up your leg without a condom, you can possibly contract an STD that way. It’s rare – yes. But possible. Be safe and get STD tested, suggest that your partner get STD tested, stay in a monogamous, faithful relationship whenever possible, and use condoms during anal sex, oral sex and vaginal intercourse any time you’re unsure. Always treat your partner’s penis as though it can get you pregnant or give you an STD because in truth – it can! That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. Just be safe and smart about it!

Oral Sex and STD’s – What You Need To Know

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While contracting an STD from unprotected oral sex (whether giving or receiving) is less likely than contracting an STD from unprotected intercourse, it’s still entirely possible. Chlamydia in your throat, anyone? It’s important to be as cautious and safe with oral sex as you would be with intercourse – and there’s lots of ways you can do that!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

Can you get STDs from oral sex? Is it a moot point to wear a condom for intercourse after that, if you’ve already had unprotected oral sex? What about girl on girl oral sex?

 

–Mike, FL

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5zfyFAIPtE&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Less Likely? How Less Likely?

Sure, it’s less likely to contract or pass STD’s through oral sex, but how less likely? Do you even want to fool with “less likely?” Although the chances of getting sexually transmitted diseases from unprotected oral sex than those of having unprotected intercourse, you can still contract STD’s such as chlamydia, ghonnorhea, syphilis, herpes and even HIV and AIDS from unprotected oral sex. Don’t chance it! If you’re not in a monogomous relationship in which both partners have been thoroughly tested for STD’s, protect yourself during intercourse and oral sex. You can use dental dams, flavored condoms or even plastic wrap in a pinch! Don’t like the way it feels? Try using a little bit of lube on the inside of the condom/dental dam/plastic wrap to create a more natural feeling.

Using A Condom During Intercourse After Having Unprotected Oral Sex

Is it a moot point to use a condom during intercourse if you’ve already had unprotected oral sex? Not at all! Even if the person you were having unprotected oral sex with has an STD, it’s entirely possible that you did not contract it during oral sex. It’s possible you did, but it’s also possible you didn’t. It’s much more likely that you’ll contract the disease through unprotected intercourse, so why set yourself up? Wrap it up instead! Again, if you’re not in a monogomous relationship with a partner you know for a fact is STD free, protect yourself as much as possible. Even if you didn’t use protection during oral sex, it’s still worth it to use a condom during intercourse.

Get Some Information!

The Internet is jam-packed full of information about sexually transmitted diseases, how each one is spread and how you can give or contract them through sex and oral sex. With a simple Google search, you can find out the specifics – such as how a particular disease can be spread through a particular sex act, as well as the best way to protect yourself. Don’t believe the old wives tales – you know, the ones like you can prevent pregnancy by douching afterwards (which by the way can actually improve your chances of getting pregnant). Read the information on legitimate websites, such as WebMD or the CDC website instead of checking out websites that don’t have credible information.

It’s all about being safe, smart and well informed. While any type of sex – oral, vaginal or anal – puts you at risk for giving or contracting sexually transmitted diseases (protected or unprotected) you can significantly reduce your risk by practicing safer sex and using condoms and dental dams. Protect yourself – you’re worth it!

How To Put On A Condom

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Whether it’s your first time or your three hundredth time, putting on a condom the correct way might still prove elusive to you. How do you put on a condom safely, how do you make sure the condom is still good and how do you take it off correctly to avoid spillage? Here’s answers to your questions, and more!

Dear Dan And Jennifer,

I’m a first time condom wearer – I want to be safe, but how do I put one on the right way? It seems harder than it should be! Do you have any tips?

–Terry, Washington

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izVeeG5nBp8&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Checking Your Condom

First, keep your condoms in a cool, dry place. Condoms that are kept in glove compartments, wallets and back pockets can break down more easily than condoms that are kept in a drawer or another safe place. Before opening your condom, make sure the condom hasn’t passed its expiration date – yes, condoms can expire! Open your condom gently to make sure you’re tearing only the package (not the condom) and check it for consistency. Make sure if it’s a lubricated condom that the lube is still moist, and make sure your condom is still in good, working condition. If it seems like your condom might not be ready to go, throw it out and get a new one!

Putting Your Condom On

You might want to put your condom on in a lighted situation – putting on a condom in complete darkness can lead you to possibly put it on the wrong way. Grab the built in reservoir on the top and roll the condom slowly down the penis, making sure that all of the air bubbles are worked out of the condom before you start. To avoid fluid contamination, be sure that both your hands and penis are clean before putting on a condom. Be very careful that no fluid from the penis gets on the outside of the condom before you begin intercourse, as this may lead to sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Removing Your Condom

When you’re ready to remove your condom, pull your penis out slowly while gripping the base of the condom to avoid spilling any seminal fluid that is inside the condom. Turn completely away from your partner before removing it, and slowly roll the condom back up the penis while making sure that the seminal fluid stays in the built in reservoir. Take your used condom, wrap it in tissue and throw it away properly – they don’t flush! Wash your hands and penis thoroughly with soap and water before touching your partner again.

Tips And Pointers

If a condom breaks, pull out immediately and remove the condom, washing thoroughly before putting on another one. Make sure your condom fits properly – if it’s not snug, or there are air bubbles or it seems too loose, your condom might be too big and you may need to choose a smaller size. It can also be dangerous if your condom is too small or too tight – if the ring around the base of the condom doesn’t go all the way to the base of your penis, the condom isn’t the right size for you. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different types of condoms until you find the right one for you!

Do I Really Need To Wear A Condom?

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Whether you’re new to sex or not, you might wonder if you really need a condom. You’ve heard they protect you and protect your partner, but do you really need a condom when you’re having intercourse, or is it all just hype? Are the condom companies raking in millions for no reason or is wearing a condom really the smartest way to go? 

Dear Dan And Jennifer,

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about condoms and some people say you don’t need them and that you can just pull out. What’s the truth – should I really wear a condom or is it all just rumor?

–Ted, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev5wZV68D5Y&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Do I Need A Condom?

Yes! Condoms can help prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. While animal skin condoms are too porous to prevent STD’s, they’re still effective at preventing pregnancy and traditional latex and plastic condoms are even better. What if your partner is on birth control? Do you still need to wear a condom? Yes! Birth control is effective, but can be made less effective by taking it incorrectly, taking antibiotics or being ill. When coupling condoms with birth control, you are doubly protecting you and your partner against pregnancy as well as preventing the spread and contraction of sexually transmitted diseases.

But I Don’t Like The Way It Feels

Just because a condom might decrease the sensitivity experienced during intercourse a little is no reason not to protect you and your partner. You can still have a lot of fun with condoms – especially flavored ones and those with warming lubricant – and still have a satisfying sex life while staying safe. For some men, condoms are an excellent way to help prevent premature ejaculation. If you tend to “go” too quickly, wearing a condom might help you last longer and some are even available with desensitizing gel or cream that will help you to keep from ejaculating too quickly.

But I’m Embarrassed To Buy Them

Don’t be! If you’re buying condoms, it means you’re having sex. That’s a good thing, right? You can buy condoms at any drug store, supermarket or convenience store and they’re incredibly inexpensive. If you’d like more privacy while purchasing your condoms or would like a wider variety of condoms to choose from, there are many online stores that offer flavored, glow in the dark, colored and other types of condoms that you and your partner can really have a lot of fun with! If you purchase your condoms online, they’ll come to you in discreet packaging and no one will know but you! In reality though, there’s nothing wrong with purchasing condoms from your grocery store, a gas station or even online – it means that you’re being safe and you’re getting ready to have a great time.

All in all, it’s important to be safe – it’s always better being safe than sorry, right? Don’t have sex without a condom – you might be in your doctor’s office getting a positive result on an STD test or finding out that your partner is pregnant, wishing you would have simply put one on in the first place. Have fun with condoms and be safe, and don’t be afraid to experiment with condoms and make them a part of your sexual routine instead of a nuisance!

eXtreme Sex Ed: How Do I Talk To My Husband About Sex?

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When learning about your partner’s body and your own body and how they work together during sexual intercourse or other sexual activity, you might run into a few roadblocks along the way.

You might find it difficult to bring up the subject of how you like a certain thing or what feels good and what doesn’t.

How can you talk to your partner and help them to learn what you like and don’t like in bed?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Sometimes I feel like my husband doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. I find it hard to talk to him about this stuff, the sex and things like condoms and lube, how do I talk to him?

— Scarlett, NJ

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne518M9vpqQ[/youtube].

Learn yourself first.

The first step to being able to tell your partner where to go when pleasuring you is to first learn where you’re going. This often happens during masturbation. Learn what spots are sensitive and how you like to be touched, as well as what doesn’t work for you. Once you’re comfortable with your own body, you can help your partner learn where to go.

The Fragile Male Ego

Telling your partner how you like to be touched sexually, especially if he’s not doing it that way, can be intimidating and rightly so. Men have fragile egos that are easily damaged, especially when it comes to their sexual skills.

Trying to talk to your partner about these things can easily cause the words to die right in your throat, getting you nowhere, because you’re afraid to hurt his feelings. It’s good to be a little scared, because you can hurt your partner’s feelings if you want to tell him that you like to be touched in a way that he’s not touching you.

You can easily make him feel inadequate or even useless in the bedroom. Does that mean you have to shy away from the conversation at all and stop enjoying sex with your partner just to save his feelings? No! It’s all in how you go about it.

Don’t Criticize

Being critical when making suggestions about your partner’s sexual performance is the number one thing that will upset him and bruise his ego. It’s very important not to be critical at all, instead, be supportive.

Don’t tell your partner what he’s doing wrong, suggest to him something else to do instead. When he does hit the right spot, make sure he knows it! Be vocal, thank him and definitely return the favor. Many women make the mistake of never changing their vocal suggestions or their body language, regardless of what feels good and what doesn’t.

Give your partner a chance to learn what you like and what you don’t based on your reactions.He will learn to tell the difference between a mild “ooh” and an “OOOH!” He’ll want to continue doing the things that elicit the most reaction from you, and you’ll want him to!

Make it Fun

If you want to talk to your partner about toys, lubes and other things related to sex but are afraid to, make it a little bit fun. Go shopping for these things together, or browse them online from the comfort of your home.

Point out things that you like and ask him to show you what he likes. You can learn a lot from each other this way! Combine that with positive suggestions on which of his moves feel good and which don’t and you’ll both soon be rocking each other’s world!