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Q&A: It’s My First Time With Another Female

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First time sex with a new partner is always nerve wracking. You don’t know what they like, they don’t know what you like and being nervous is just the icing on the cake. It can be especially nerve wracking if you’re having sex with another person of the same sex for the first time! Here’s how you can handle it and end up having a great time.

Question: Hey you two, my question would be me and my fiancé (who is also female) plans to come visit me in a few months and were planning on you know, doing adult things. Neither one of us has ever been with another female, so both of us are a little nervous about it. How do you get past the first time jitters?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGWPYcJEEM[/youtube]

Build An Intimate Bond

While you may be really nervous about having sex with your partner for the first time, take some time to focus on building an intimate bond when you first meet your partner. Go out to dinner, have a few glasses of wine and talk, just getting to know each other. Share stories with each other and allow yourself to get comfortable with your partner and vice versa. When you take the conversation home, play a fun sex game like 20 questions or Truth or Dare. Loosen up with your partner and allow yourself to laugh and have a good time before focusing so much on “doing it.” These kinds of sexy games are great at putting you and your partner at ease while setting the mood for a sexy evening with each other.

Remember To Have Fun

A lot of people in this situation end up taking themselves too seriously at first and that can make it even more awkward than it already is. Remember to have fun and relax, and let whatever happens happen. Take it slow, and don’t worry about putting pressure on your partner or yourself to perform. It’s not about getting it right or getting it perfect. Enjoy yourself with your partner and focus on having a good time, even if there are a few bumps along the way. Even if you don’t end up having sex right away or even the first night together, it’s ok. You’re in it for the long haul, so it’s ok to take your time and allow yourself to become comfortable with your partner and comfortable with the situation.

How To Please Another Woman

Learning how to please another woman isn’t difficult, it’s just intimidating. You already have a leg up on the competition, so to speak, because you’re a woman and you know how you like to be touched. Chances are, your partner will like something very similar. If you’re still not sure about how to please another woman, gather some resources on female orgasm and take the orgasm quiz. Read up on how exactly to please your partner move for move. Learning the specific techniques you can use in the bedroom with your partner will give you more confidence when the time comes.

Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want Oral Sex

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Oral sex is one of the greatest sexual gifts that someone can give another person because you’re focusing only on their pleasure and theirs alone. Many people enjoy the feeling oral sex more than penetration and intercourse, but what do you do if your partner doesn’t want to give or receive oral sex?

Question: My girlfriend & I are extremely happy with each other, but she is extremely against oral sex, she refuses to give me blow jobs and “doesn’t need” me to give her oral pleasure. Is there a way to make this work, because I’ve never had oral sex given to me or vise-versa. She said she would maybe possibly consider it while she is drunk, but that is honestly worthless to me because I want it to mean something.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPW19Ghj-6w[/youtube]

Oral Sex And Hygiene

Many people who have issues with oral sex don’t necessarily have issues with performing oral sex itself, but rather, they have issues with hygiene. They may have had a bad experience before where they performed oral sex on someone and didn’t like the way it tasted or smelled. Fortunately, hygiene issues are fixable. Make sure that you are always clean and showered, use deodorant and cologne if she likes it. Keep your genital area clean and trimmed, and if you’re uncircumcised, make sure you clean underneath the foreskin. Encourage her to lick or kiss around your thighs and tummy. When she gets close enough, she’ll know that you’re clean and fresh and may feel more comfortable with oral sex.

Getting Comfortable With Oral Sex

For a woman, being on the receiving end of cunnilingus can be emotionally uncomfortable. Essentially, she has to open herself up physically and emotionally to you, allowing you to be face to face with her most intimate and sensitive parts. This is enough to make any woman uncomfortable and it may be the reason she wants to get drunk first. If you want to perform oral sex on your partner, the first thing you need to do is get her relaxed. Draw her a hot bath, give her a massage and kiss and lick in that general area to see how she responds. Go slow and don’t rush her.

Communicate With Your Partner

An aversion to oral sex isn’t always what it seems on the surface. She may have some deep rooted issues about oral sex that makes her feel the way she does about it, such as abuse. These emotional roots may go deeper than either you or her expect, and she may not even remember why she started not liking oral sex to begin with. Communicate with her and talk about why she doesn’t feel comfortable with getting or giving oral sex. Just listen to her, and find out where her boundaries are. Don’t criticise her, and allow her to open up and feel that you are there for her. This in and of itself may be what it takes to get her to feel like you are trustworthy enough to experience oral sex with! Just remember never to push her or make her do something she doesn’t want to do.

Q&A: Tips For Talking Dirty – With Examples

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Talking dirty is a great way to spice up your sex life with your partner. However, many people are uncomfortable with talking dirty, are embarassed about it or aren’t sure what to say. How can you do dirty talk without sounding ridiculous? Here’s how to talk dirty in the bedroom with your partner, with some sexy examples!

Question: Hi Dan and Jenn, do you have any tips for dirty talk? My boyfriend is really into it, but I have no idea what I’m supposed to say without sounding like a washed-up porn star. Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPfGwt6z_lY[/youtube]

Talking Dirty Got A Bad Rap

Talking dirty isn’t “dirty.” Actually, it can be quite sexy and a lot of people enjoy talking during sex. Talking dirty in the bedroom got a bad rap because back in the day, it wasn’t considered “polite” or “proper” to talk that way during relations. Fortunately, society has come a long way sexually since those days but the fact that sexy talk is considered “taboo” in the bedroom is half the fun! If your partner wants to hear you talk dirty to him during sex, it’s time to learn how.

Ways To Talk Dirty

There are lots of ways to talk sexy to your partner, and not all of it has to be during the actual act of sex. You can talk sexy to your partner over the phone, or via text, called sexting. Send him a racy email to find at a random time, or leave a hot note by the coffee that he can find before he goes to work (which will get him hot for you all day!) These are also great ways to “break the ice” when it comes to dirty talk, because it’s a lot easier to send a dirty text at first than to jump right in to talking dirty during sex.

Get Comfortable With Talking Dirty

Remember that when talking dirty, your partner is going to appreciate the effort. Even if you don’t sound super sexy at first because you’re still getting comfortable with it, he’ll be glad you tried. Try practicing talking dirty to yourself in the mirror at first, because if you can’t talk sexy to yourself in the mirror, how are you going to do it to him? If you’re unsure of what to say in the bedroom, start by talking about what feels good, why it feels good or describing how it feels. Get some ideas from an erotic book. Yes, some of them are cheesy but there are a lot of good, realistic erotic novels that can give you an idea of exactly what to say. When you feel more comfortable with the idea of talking dirty in the bedroom, take a little time to find out exactly what gets your partner off. What are his fantasies when it comes to dirty talk? Does he like it a certain way? Don’t be afraid to ask him questions or use a “fantasy box.” Your efforts will be much more effective if you’re talking dirty right up his alley.

Q&A: I Love Being On Top But He Loses His Erection!

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Erectile problems come in lots of different forms. Some men have erectile issues all the time, while others only have erectile issues with condoms, in certain positions, or if they’re not in control of the sexual situation. Here’s what you can do if your man has erectile difficulty in a position that you absolutely love.

Question: Dear Dan and Jen – When me and my boyfriend have sex, I just LOVE going on top. The problem is, his penis softens the minute I’m on top of him, just in a split second.When I asked about it, he said it’s because of the condom, but this doesn’t seem to be a problem in any other position. WHY is this? Aren’t men supposed to love it when the girl is on top? I’m confused – please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSXDw4qG814[/youtube]

Everyone Likes Different Positions

If you find that your partner loses his erection in a certain position, he may just not like that position. It may be uncomfortable for him, or he may find it more difficult to be aroused. Some men really enjoy the feeling of being in control that man-on-top positions offer, and he might not be able to maintain his erection in situations where he feels like the woman is in control, such as in woman-on-top positions. Everyone likes different positions, and everyone has a favorite and if your partner doesn’t have any erectile issues with other positions, it’s likely just a preference issue.

Try Different Condoms

Believe it or not, a lot of men have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, or having an orgasm with a condom. He should still use one, but there are lots of different styles of condoms available that might help your partner keep his erection during sex and different sex positions. Try a thinner condom to allow your partner to experience more sensations, or try a ribbed or textured condom. Some condoms with lubricants can be irritating for both men and women, especially if the condom has spermicide on it. Try a variety of condoms until you and your partner find the one you like best.

Try Different Positions And Motions

If your partner loses his erection consistently in any one sex position, try varying your movements in that particular position. Try going fast or slow, harder or softer, or move from side to side instead of up and down. Communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, so you know the next moves to make. If your partner isn’t being honest with you about why something doesn’t feel good, that doesn’t give you any information about how you can please him. If all else fails, don’t give up on sex completely just because your partner doesn’t like your favorite position. There are hundreds of different positions out there and they’re only limited by your creativity. Try different positions such as spooning or sitting up face to face. You may find that there are other positions that you like even better than woman on top, and they might work better for your partner too! You’ll never know unless you try!

Q&A: What’s That Lump Inside My Penis?

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Many people have questions about their bodies, such as bumps on their penis, that they’re afraid to ask about or see a doctor about. It’s not uncommon to be nervous about going to a doctor for such a personal issue. But if you have something strange going on with your body and you’re not sure what it is, here’s what you need to do.

Question: I’m scared and I’m not sure what it is. I’m 18 years old and recently I have noticed on the inside of the head of my penis that there is a lump inside the head. This is completely internal. Nothing shows on the outside except for the skin around the area is turning a slight white. I’m really scared to think that it could be cancer or a tumor in my penis head? I can feel the lump in my penis and it feels like hard tissue. When I pinch it, it doesn’t hurt but over time I think its growing.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sEzXc9mXlA[/youtube]

Lots Of Possibilities

A lump on the penis could mean anything. It could be a clogged pore, a genital wart, an infection of some kind or even a benign or cancerous cyst. Strange lumps can pop up anywhere on a man or a woman, and there’s really no telling what it is at first glance. It may be getting bigger or growing, it may hurt, or it may stay small and barely noticeable. Other things can turn up on your body, and most of the time they don’t mean anything at all. Our bodies can do strange or crazy things, but it’s all part of nature. On the other hand, some things that can happen to your body aren’t to be taken lightly at all because they could be something serious. How can you tell if that strange lump or other anomaly on your body is something you should be worried about or not?

Seeing Your Doctor

Only your medical doctor can look at you and determine what is going on with you. He or she may examine you, and they may take blood or run other scans depending on what they think it is. Don’t be nervous about going to see your doctor – it’s the only way you can find out for sure what it is. Your doctor can let you know if it’s nothing to be worried about, or if it is something that needs to be treated right away. Your doctor can help you through any kind of treatment you may need, so it’s important to trust your doctor and be comfortable with them. If you don’t like your doctor or don’t feel comfortable with him or her, find someone you do trust and feel comfortable with. Don’t worry about freaking the doctors out. Doctors have seen it all and then some. Their concern isn’t how weird your ailment is – it’s whether what you have going on is dangerous or not and how to treat it and get you well.

Internet Bunk

Lots of medical forums on the Internet now consist of people with various ailments trying to diagnose and treat each other instead of visiting the doctor. This is not a substitute for sound medical advice! Medical forums are great for talking about treatments, tests and receiving general support for whatever medical condition you’re going through but you can’t get a diagnosis in a forum or a chat room. You can only get a diagnosis and treatment from your doctor.