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6 Ways To Make Anal Sex Better For Her

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Anal sex is something women do to make their men happy, right? They don’t actually enjoy it, right? Wrong! Lots of women really enjoy anal play. The anus is actually extremely sensitive and when stimulated the right way, can lead to intense and explosive orgasms! Many women enjoy anal play during sex and oral sex, and lots of girls like straight up anal sex and double penetration. However, there’s a lot of guys who don’t know how to make it safe and comfortable for a woman, so she can’t really enjoy it. If a guy doesn’t warm her up enough or use enough lube when engaging in anal play, it’s not going to be fun at all for her – in fact, it will actually be incredibly painful! Here’s how you can make anal sex something she loves.

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Use Enough Lube

The main reason that women don’t enjoy anal sex is that it can hurt and it can hurt bad if it’s not done correctly! One thing that can contribute to pain during anal sex is not having enough lube. Lube is very important during this activity because the anus does not lubricate itself the way a vagina does. Without external lubrication, the anus can become very dry and the delicate tissues can tear and bleed. Don’t be afraid to dump a whole bottle of lube on her butt if you have to – when it comes to this activity, you really can’t use enough lube.

The best lube for anal sex is a water based lube – a silicone lube is thick and can last longer (which is important for prolonged moisture) but it is not as easy to rinse off as water based lube. Search for a good, gentle water based lube that is made in a thicker formula. Never use a desensitizing lube for anal sex! While this may make her more “comfortable” in the beginning, she won’t be aware if the pain becomes too much. This can definitely lead to tears in the anus or bowel that require immediate medical attention. Good water based lube (and plenty of it) is all you need!

Use Small Toys First

Most guys get really excited at the prospect of trying anal sex with their partners and are eager to put their penises in right away. However, unless you’re a really small guy, you may be too big for her if she hasn’t tried anything else. Even with lube, if she’s not accommodated to taking something as large as your penis into her anus, you’re going to have to start smaller and work your way up.

Fingering the anus is a good starting point, since you can use one finger and gradually increase to two or even three fingers once she becomes more comfortable with it. You can also purchase small butt plugs that can be used to get her used to anal stimulation during sex. Even if you’re chomping at the bit to get it on with her backdoor, she’s going to like it a lot better if you don’t bombard her with something huge at first. She’ll also be more receptive to have anal sex more often if it doesn’t hurt!

Give Her Encouragement

Women love to know that they’re giving their men pleasure – and they want to hear about it first hand. While she’s having anal sex with you, don’t be too shy to let her know how much you enjoy it. Let it all out – moan, grunt and gasp so she knows that your pleasure is genuine! You can also give her a few words of encouragement as you’re warming her up with a sex toy or your fingers. Let her know how hot her butt is and how naughty and sexy she is for doing this with you. She’ll love hearing how much you’re enjoying it!

Don’t Act Like Poop Is A Big Deal

A huge reason that women don’t enjoy having anal sex with their partners is that they’re afraid or embarrassed to make a mess. This may keep her from ever having anal sex with you at all – she could be extremely apprehensive about fecal matter coming out during sex and she may think you’ll laugh at her or criticize her for it. Let her know up front that you know it might get dirty – and that it doesn’t bother you in the least. And if it happens – don’t freak out. Have a warm, wet washcloth nearby for clean up and take care of it as soon as you notice. If you can, don’t even mention it to her.

You can also ease her fears about making a mess during anal sex by encouraging her to have a bowel movement first or to do an enema first. Some women even find the enema process pleasurable, and it keeps things clean during sex later.

Make Sure She’s Aroused First

If she’s not aroused, she’s not going to enjoy anal sex, period. Her anus will be tight and puckered, and it won’t relax enough to allow you to put anything in, including your penis. So before you plan on heading to her backyard, play in the front a little first. Give her oral sex and get her really, really turned on. Lick her clitoris and get her to where she’s begging you to finish her off. Then, proceed to warm her up anally and don’t neglect her clitoris when you get started. With a combination of clitoral, anal and even vaginal or g-spot stimulation, you may end up giving her the best orgasm of her life!

Take Care Of Her Afterwards

When you’re finished, don’t just roll over and go to sleep, even if you’re tempted to. Instead, make an attempt to have a conversation with her. Help her get cleaned up, or join her in the shower if that’s what she wants to do afterwards. Let her know how much you enjoyed it and how glad you are that she did it. Let her know that you care about her and show her that you don’t think any less of her. Give her a sensual massage or make her a cup of hot tea to help her relax. Show her that she’s important to you and fulfill her emotionally as well. If you make her feel good emotionally after having anal sex, she’ll definitely want to have it again!

How To Use A Masturbation Sleeve On Him

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Sex toys can spice up your sex life, but most of the time, people assume you’re referring to vibrators for women. In fact, the far majority of people believe that sex toys are just for women! The reality is that there are a lot of sex toys out there for guys, from cock rings to anal toys to masturbation sleeves. And not all of this is just for solo play – here’s how to use a masturbator on HIM!

Masturbation Sleeves Aren’t Just For Him

While the name “masturbation sleeve” gives people the idea that the product can only be used during masturbation, the truth is that a masturbation sleeve can actually be used during a handjob as well! If your partner has been apprehensive to the idea of bringing in a sleeve, trying it on him first during a handjob can warm him up to the idea. He may very well be surprised at just how good it feels! Instead of lubing up your hands next time for a handjob, slip on a masturbation sleeve instead and let the fun begin!

How It’s Better For You

Let’s face it – giving a handjob can be tiring. Especially if your man isn’t super sensitive. If you’re really trying to bring him to orgasm through a handjob, you could be there for thirty minutes or more pumping away. Plus, there are lots of different handjob techniques you need to learn if you really want to get good at it. Or, you can just bring in a masturbation sleeve!

  • Using sex toys on him during a handjob makes it much, much easier for you. You’ll notice that you don’t get tired as easily or that your hands and arms don’t cramp up as quickly.
  • No technique is really required when giving a handjob with a masturbation sleeve. The texture of the sleeve does it all for you.
  • Since the sensations are much, much more powerful, your man will reach orgasm much faster than if you were just using your hands.
  • It’s a great alternative to having sex if you really just don’t feel like putting out!

How It’s Better For Him

Using a masturbation sleeve on him during a handjob isn’t just easier for you, it feels better for him too! There are many benefits for him when using sex toys during a handjob instead of just your hands.

  • The soft material feels way better than your hands, especially when used with enough lube.
  • Many sleeves are textured inside to provide different sensations during use.
  • This is a good toy to use if you’re a novice, or haven’t had that much practice giving a handjob. A handjob can take forever if you’re not skilled at it, so save yourself the trouble (and make it feel better for him) by using a sleeve.
  • It’s great for him because using sex toys during a handjob will make it so much easier for you, you’re going to be willing to give him handjobs more often!

Advanced Techniques

There is so much fun to be had for both partners when using sex toys with each other. Even if it’s not a couples sex toy, such as in the case of the masturbation sleeve, you can still have a lot of fun using it on your partner and watching wave after wave of pleasure wash over them.

  • Try using it in the shower with a really thick, silicone based lube. Just make sure your toy isn’t silicone!
  • Try mutual masturbation on each other. Use the masturbation sleeve on him and let him use other sex toys, such as vibrators, on you!
  • You can also masturbate yourselves with these sex toys while watching each other. This is a great way to learn how your partner likes to be touched!

Recommendations

There are lots of different male masturbators out there on the market, and it can be confusing to find the right one. Pretty much, any masturbation sleeve is going to feel great for him, but there are some products out there that are going to give you better results.

Super Head Honcho Masturbator

Adam & Eve’s top selling masturbator. Has a wide mouth for insertion and lots of little nubs on the inside for extra pleasure. What makes this sleeve so great is that it’s super easy to clean – just flip it inside out and wash with warm soapy water or toy cleaner.

Climax Gems Crystal Handjob Stroker

Made from crystal clear Cyberskin, this masturbation sleeve will feel fantastic for him. One side is ribbed, while the other is studded, so you can flip it around for tons of different sensations. This one is also super easy to clean – which frankly, is a must for male masturbators!

Adam And Eve Pleasure Pearl Masturbator

This one has pleasure pearls deep inside that move around as you stroke this up and down the penis towards orgasm, but that’s not what makes this sex toy so unique. It is one of the only masturbation sleeves that include loops on the outside, which are slipped over the fingers and used as a handle! Guys who use masturbation sleeves know that things can get slippery sometimes!

Things To Keep In Mind

Keep in mind to use lots of good lube when using a masturbation sleeve on your partner. Check out what your sex toy is made from – silicone toys cannot be used with silicone lube. Water based lube is pretty much a safe bet for anything, so make sure to stock up before you get started. Male masturbators really can’t be used without lube!

Also, keep in mind that you will need to clean the sleeve properly after each and every use. Think about it – those things can get pretty nasty if you use them more than once without cleaning them in between uses! Most sleeves are easy to clean because you can flip them inside out, but if you choose other products such as a Fleshlight, you’re in for a little more cleanup. No matter which sex toys you choose though, the cleanup is well worth it!

What Is Double Penetration?

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Anal sex can be even more fun when you involve insertion of an object in the vagina in addition to the anus. It can increase the frequency and intensity of orgasms during sex and it can be just the boost you need if your sex life is in a rut. It can also help you add a whole new level of pleasure to masturbation. But what exactly is double penetration, how do you do it and how do you keep it safe and clean?

What Is Double Penetration?

Usually during sex or masturbation, a man’s penis or a sex toy penetrates the vagina only. During anal sex, a penis or sex toy will penetrate the anus only. With this sex activity, a penis or toy will penetrate the vagina and the anus at the same time. This can be very pleasurable for a woman who enjoys feeling very “full” during sex, and it can increase the amount and intensity of a woman’s orgasms significantly.

For women who have trouble having a g-spot orgasm, double penetration can be the key. The object inserted into the anus actually rubs up against back side of the g-spot, stimulating it from the other side. It also helps push the g-spot forward into the object that is inserted into the vagina, so that it receives more stimulation from the front side as well. Combine stimulation of the clitoris with insertion of an object into the vagina and rectum for a really wild orgasm!

How To Get Started

As with anal sex, it’s important to start small and work your way up. Giant sex toys aren’t the best choice for the first time you try it. Remember that the anus doesn’t stretch like the vagina does and objects that you think are pretty small are actually going to feel very big once you insert them into your rectum. Consider trying a tiny butt plug to begin with, and then work your way up to larger and larger objects as you become more accustomed to bigger sizes.

It’s also important to use a very generous amount of lube during double penetration. The anus does not self lubricate like a vagina does and even small objects will cause pain and may tear the delicate anal tissues if there’s not enough lubricant down there. Lube is inexpensive and available almost anywhere, so there’s really no reason not to use it! Anal sex of any kind is much more pleasurable when everything is going smoothly.

Tools Of The Trade

Unless you’re with two guys, you’re going to have to use a sex toy of some kind in addition to your partner if you want to achieve double penetration. During masturbation, you’re going to need even more equipment. Here’s a breakdown of the different tools of the trade.

During Sex With A Partner

If he’s going to be entering your vagina, you’ll want to have a small butt plug on hand to insert into your rectum. If you’re more advanced with this sex technique, you can try using a larger sex toy for anal sex.

If he’s going to be entering your anus, you’ll want to have a larger sex toy on hand that will provide stimulation of the vagina. This can be as simple as a torpedo vibrator or as complicated as a Rabbit vibrator that stimulates the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time.

During Masturbation

Double penetration is a little different with masturbation since you’ll be doing all the work yourself. The most important thing during masturbation is to find a comfortable position to lie in that allows you full access to both your vagina and anus without restricting the movement of your hands or arms. You may want to have a few pillows on hand to help you do this.

As far as sex toys go, you really can use whatever you want here! Again, if you’re a beginner, choose a smaller sex toy for your anus. If you use a butt plug, both of your hands will be free to operate the sex toy you’re using on your vagina. Some sex toys have components for the anus, the vagina and the clitoris to provide stimulation of all three areas at once.

During A Threesome

This can also be achieved during a threesome if you’re having sex with two men. A lot of women really enjoy the thrill of being penetrated by a man in both the vagina and the anus and this is actually a sexual fantasy that a lot of women have but don’t often get to really act out.

Staying Safe

Because double penetration involves anal sex, there are some things you need to do to make sure everything stays clean and safe.

Use condoms on your sex toys. Do not insert a sex toy into the anus and then into the vagina without first taking the condom used in the anus off and putting a new one on. This prevents serious bacterial infections.

Do not use sex toys in the anus that aren’t designed for anal sex. If it doesn’t have a wide base or a ring on the end of it that prevents the toy from slipping inside the rectum in its entirety, it’s not something you want to use for anal stimulation. If it’s not designed for anal sex, it can slip up inside and get lost, requiring expensive urgent medical care.

If you’re having sex with two men, use condoms. STD’s can be transmitted easily this way, especially if the men swap between the anus and the vagina. As with sex toys, do not allow anal to vagina activity without a fresh condom being put on in between.

Go slow and use lube. The anal tissues can tear and bleed if you’re not using lube, go too fast or are using something that is too large.

If it hurts, stop. Never use desensitizing lube during anal sex because you definitely want to feel it if it hurts, because if it does, you need to stop! Never continue with penetration if there’s pain of any kind.

How To Have An Orgasm In 60 Seconds

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Orgasms can sometimes come quickly, when you least expect them, and they can also take forever to achieve if you’re not 100% in the game. If having an orgasm consistently takes you awhile, you’re probably wondering how to speed your body up and reach climax faster. Here are some great tips on how to have an orgasm – sometimes in less than a minute!

Relax

The first step to getting your body ready to have a fast orgasm is to relax. Most women (and some men) tense themselves up completely during sex, and when your muscles and body are tensed up, you’re actually going to have a harder time reaching climax than if you were relaxed. This also applies if you’re trying to have sex after work, or when you’re stressed out about something. Day to day life such as work, bills and kids can definitely wreak havoc on your sex life and make it take much, much longer for you to have an orgasm.

Take just a few minutes before you get started to relax. Breathe in and out deeply, and concentrate on relaxing your body from head to toe. Relax your mind as well and imagine all the stresses of the day just melting away. Have a glass of wine to help you along if you’re of age, or take a hot bubble bath with a scented candle. Anything that you do to relax before you start masturbating or having sex will help you to reach orgasm faster.

Foreplay

Foreplay is a huge precursor to having a quick orgasm. If you’re not completely, 100% aroused before you get started, you’re either not going to climax at all or it’s going to take you a long time to finally reach your peak. To make sure you have an orgasm faster than ever before, start with foreplay. Whether before masturbation or before sex, give yourself some time for foreplay and allow yourself to get aroused.

Have your partner stroke your clitoris (or you can do this yourself) slowly, while imagining things that really, really turn you on. A woman’s imagination is one of the most powerful tools at her disposal to help her reach orgasm quickly and easily. If you’re sitting there thinking about the bills while you’re partner is performing oral sex on you, he’s going to be down there for a long time before you’re even halfway to the finish line.

Instead, imagine whatever turns you on most – whether it’s something naughty you haven’t shared with your partner or even another person. This works especially well during masturbation, since you have the freedom to imagine whatever you want without feeling guilty like you might if you were imagining questionable things when you’re with your partner!

Sex Toys

Don’t be afraid to bring sex toys into the bedroom for yourself and for you and your partner. Most women can’t reach orgasm in less than a minute by just using their fingers, but it can happen easily for you if you use a vibrator. Sex toys are easy to use during masturbation, but a lot of women (and men as well) feel that sex toys are for solo play only and not for use by couples. This couldn’t be farther from the truth!

When you’re having sex with your partner, bring out your clitoris vibrator and let your lover use it on you during foreplay. This will help stimulate you and may even cause you to have a fast orgasm before you and your partner even get started having sex! You can also use g-spot vibrators or dildos to help you achieve climax faster during sex if you prefer deeper penetration.

Change The Time Of Day You Get Busy

Whether you’re flying solo or you’re with your partner, having sex at the wrong time of day can significantly impact your ability to orgasm quickly and easily. For example, if you’ve worked all day, come home and cooked dinner and then put the kids to bed, you’re completely exhausted before you and your partner ever get to look at each other and think about sex. If you try to have sex then, it’s going to take you a very long time to reach orgasm and you may find that you’re unable to reach climax at all.

Instead, wake up several minutes early before you have to get ready for the day. Your mind and body will be relaxed, well rested and refreshed, so you will be more ready for sex at this point than if you wait until later in the day!

My Boyfriend Wants Anal Sex – What Do I Do?

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My BF wants to try anal sex , but I’m not so sure I’m into it. It’s a bigger commitment on my “end,” so to speak! What do I do?

What She Said

Oh, honey! This is a question for the ages and I’m so glad you asked it. There are two schools of thought: (1) It’s great and everyone should try it. (2) No one wants to marry the “up the butt girl.” Yes, I’m pulling quotes from the Sex and the City series – those ladies had some good advice!

Is Anal Sex Actually Fun?

Let’s start with the “It’s great” theory first. Anal sex – with the right partner and the right lube – can be a lovely experience. If you choose to do this, have a frank talk with your boyfriend beforehand. He already knows you’re a bit nervous; if you agree to this, you get to call the shots. He needs to be gentle – he also needs to be willing to use lubricant and a condom. Your vagina and anus are separated for a reason – he can’t pull out and enter you vaginally in the middle of anal sex.

Be sure to let him know that health and safety come first, even before the two you. Now on to the fun stuff! If you’re feeling good about your talk, go for it. There’s no harm (with proper precautions) in trying something once. You might find that you love it – in which case you can consider adding it to your repertoire. If you didn’t enjoy it, you don’t have to do it again. At least you’ll be basing your “no go” from a position of experience.

And here’s the “flip side,” so to speak. No one wants to marry the “up the butt girl.” Of course this is an antiquated notion – anyone who would judge you for experiences you’ve chosen to have can shove off, in my book.

Would You Really Rather Not?

What I mean to point out via this example is: What’s the state of your relationship? Is he pushing you into trying something you don’t want to do? Is the decision to try anal based on a last ditch effort to save your coupling or is it based on a mutual agreement to spice things up? If you guys are on the rocks, he might be pushing for anal so he can try it before he dumps you.

Sound harsh? Imagine how you’ll feel if you give in to something you’re not comfortable with only to find yourself single weeks later. Why give it up for someone who doesn’t care? If the relationship is sound but this isn’t your preferred way of adding something new to your sex life, talk with your BF then buy a copy of the Kama Sutra. There are plenty of other sex positions out there that don’t involve the ass.

What He Said

Snoop Dogg once said “You can’t make a ho a housewife.” If you can’t, I’ll never get married. Seriously, the “no one marries the up the butt girl is” stupid and untrue. Your marital charms are not based on any particular sex act. If he likes you, he likes you, pure and simple.

IF you’re concerned about anal sex and don’t want to do it, just tell him he can screw you up the ass right after you get to screw him in the ass with a sex toy. (See the ‘Bending Over Boyfriend” series for details if he actually agrees to it)

There’s No Reason To Be Scared

If you’re into it and are scared for whatever reason, don’t be. You are not the first person on the planet to want their boyfriend to do them in the butt (assuming you’re into that). It doesn’t mean you’re a slut or a whore, or that you’re going to hell. Just that you like it up the ass. It’s that simple. Raise your concerns whatever they may be with your man and go from there. You’ll be glad you did.

That is, unless this is some last ditch effort to save your relationship. If it is, than it won’t work. You can’t take it up the ass to save your relationship any more than you can have a baby to save it. This can enhance it, but if it needs saving, that’s a whole other issue.