Fisting is an intense, overwhelming, and challenging experience for any couple, and is definitely not for everyone. Putting the entire hand inside the vaginal cavity is possible; the vagina is made to stretch to fit a crowning baby. The size of your hands and the elasticity of your wife’s vagina, however, will be determining factors when assessing your ability to explore this activity, perhaps more so than your wife’s willingness.

If you are brand new to the intricacies of fingering, don’t start with fisting. Take your time to learn and enjoy fingering itself, because this will help increase her ability to accommodate your whole hand. Women tend to be deeper and more accommodating, and their cervix softer and more receptive to touch, when they are fertile. Try to schedule your time during this window each month for best results.

Oil & Lube

For this kind of intense stretching and stimulation, lots of lube is required. Don’t forget that you can prepare ahead of time by having different lubes on hand, such as water based and silicone or flavored, to make the experience more enjoyable.

Massage Her Vagina Slowly First

Focus especially, but not exclusively, on the rear wall of the vagina and the perineum. If your wife has given birth before, you may have been taught this technique already, as a method to help prevent tearing during the birthing process.

You have nothing so dire to worry about while fisting, unless your hands are the size of newborns, but the massage will help to improve her body’s ability to stretch and fit around you without undue pain.

Loosen Up

When the two of you have decided that it’s time to give fisting a try, set aside a few hours of your day. Yes, hours. This is no wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sort of affair. Fisting takes time to work up to and to come down from, so plan accordingly.

The most effective way to loosen the vagina is orgasm, as the muscles release during the refractory period, so the best candidate for fisting is a multi-orgasmic woman with excellent control of her PC muscles.

Start out with only as many fingers as can comfortably fit inside her, even if it is only one or two. Make your way around the entire circumference of her vaginal wall, starting at the opening and then circling deeper inside her. Try to thrust gently, while massaging the vaginal walls, in this same circular motion.

Stay In the Game

It is important that your wife maintain a certain level of excitement and arousal during the process, to ensure it is enjoyable and she stays relaxed. Make sure she breathes deeply into her belly even when she is very turned on and breathing very rapidly. Don’t forget to keep stimulating her while you’re working on stretching.

Only put in as many fingers as is comfortable, and don’t force anything. Make sure you ask her to let you know by using the safe word if she experiences any discomfort, and back off a little bit whenever she does. You may not make it in during your first time, or even on the third occasion you attempt it in earnest, so you should be sure to remember you are both there to enjoy the ride, not the destination.

Thumbing A Ride

When it comes time to add your third finger, forget about your ring and pinkies for a while. Turn your hand so your wrist faces up, with your thumb on top, and slide these two fingers down along her perineum. The three inserted digits – index finger, middle finger and thumb – should form a triangle that flares out toward your hand.

When you add your fourth finger – the ring finger – it’s time to move the thumb back a bit. This will elongate your fingers, but lessen the circumference of your knuckles a bit. Your thumb should rest in the center of your middle finger, and should be flanked by your index and ring fingers on either side, forming a diamond shape with your thumb a bit further back than the rest. Keep your pinkie out of the way as you continue to stretch her.

If you are able to work all the way up to the fifth finger, just slide the thumb back a bit further, to where the middle finger meets the palm. Keep your index and ring fingers turned in a bit, on top of the middle finger, in the same diamond formation as before, and place your pinkie on top of your ring finger.

This position helps you to keep the circumference of your hand fairly small, keep your thumb tucked away so it doesn’t catch on anything inside, and keep the tips of your fingers close together so you don’t inadvertently bump her cervix too hard, which can be painful for many women.

Twister

Once you’ve reached her maximum capacity – whether that is two, three, four or all five fingers – don’t just start trying to thrust away. She will feel incredibly full, and too much thrusting may push her over the edge too hard and too fast.

Instead, try focusing on twisting back and forth for most of the stimulation. Your twisting need not be forceful. If your twist until the knuckle of your middle finger is facing up on the front wall of her vagina where her G-Spot is, with your thumb stimulating the back wall, just a slight rocking from side to side should be enough to produce incredible orgasms.

When She Comes

She may not need any movement at all for this to feel good, so you may instead want to focus your other hand and tongue on pleasuring her clitoris directly. Be sure to add a bit of lube to your hand, here and there, as you work up to fisting and orgasm.

Keeping her wet and slick is the best way to ensure an enjoyable experience for everyone. Don’t be surprised! You will feel some potentially powerful clenching when she comes, so don’t freak out. Stop moving and just let her muscles push you out and pull you in, until she has been completely sated. Don’t try to pop your hand out all at once; take your time. Ease your way out slowly.

Keep in mind that she will be very sensitive, and probably a bit tender, for a few days afterwards. If you are expecting to have intercourse with her, you should do that before you start fisting, and give her at least a day or two to rest afterward, unless she says that is not required.