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Best BDSM And Kink Articles Of 2009

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Kink, bondage, cuckold fantasies, cross dressing – you name it, it’s out there. Everyone likes something different in the bedroom, whether it’s traditional, vanilla sex, light bondage or something totally extreme. Our motto is as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and no one is getting hurt, it’s all good! This year, questions about bondage, BDSM and kink came in from all over the globe and we answered the questions you were asking about everything from watching your woman have sex with another man to a husband who wants to videotape his wife having sex with a donkey. No, we weren’t afraid to “go there!” Check out some of our best, no-holds barred BDSM and kink articles from 2009.

Britney Spears “3” – Are Threesomes “In?”

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It’s every guy’s wet dream right – and no, we’re not talking about the Princess-Leia-in-the-gold-bikini fantasy. We’re talking about threesomes. Threesomes have long been touted as the “holy grail” of sex for guys, and any real life threesome gives a guy automatic bragging rights to his friends. Women who are down with threesomes are considered wild and fun, and as society becomes less censored and more open about human sexuality, threesomes are actually a commonly accepted practice. So are threesomes the new black?

Britney Spears “3” is one of the most popular songs out there right now, but how many of you have stopped to actually listen to the words? Britney claims that threesomes are the new “in.” Well, that’s what we’re talking about today on the show. Are threesomes the new “in” or a disaster for your relationship?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h1oJJ-5I5U[/youtube]

Why Are Threesomes So Popular

Guys are visual. We all know that. One naked girl = one erection. So what about two naked girls? More erections? Double the pleasure? What about if the two girls start getting sexual with each other while the man watches? Or better yet, what if the two girls start getting sexual with each other and with the above mentioned man? Guys tend to like “bigger” and “better” things, and there’s really nothing “bigger” or “better” when it comes to sex than threesomes or foursomes. Not only do you have twice – or three times – the visual stimulation, you also have several different physical sensations going on at once. When you take all emotion whatsoever out of it and think about it like a guy does – that is, looking at it from a purely physical standpoint – it’s not hard to see why threesomes are so popular. Many women enjoy threesomes as well, if they are secure and confident in themselves, their relationships and their sexuality. Sometimes, three’s not really a crowd.

Will A Threesome Destroy Your Relationship?

Some women – and men too – absolutely refuse to have an open relationship or even consider having a threesome. Some girls are afraid that if they are open to having a threesome, it will ruin their relationship. Not only can jealousy ruin a threesome, it can hurt too. It can also be hard to imagine going back to a normal sex life after introducing a threesome or a foursome. How can you ever top that? How can you ever keep your man from wanting to add another girl every time? There are definitely a lot of concerns for women when it comes to thinking about having a threesome or foursome. How can you handle those concerns?

A threesome won’t ruin a relationship or even damage it, in and of itself. It’s what can happen when there’s no clear communication between all the parties involved in the threesome, and when someone’s expectations are too high. There are, however, ways you can avoid trouble when it comes to inviting another person – or persons – into your bed.

How To Make A Threesome Successful

First, talk to your partner about having a threesome. Is it something you both want? Do you want to have a threesome just to please your partner, or is it something you would enjoy too? Making sure you’re on the same starting page is the first step. When you’ve come to the decision that having a threesome is something you and your partner would both enjoy doing together, talk to each other and establish some ground rules. What are you both expecting out of a threesome? Is your partner expecting you to have threesomes often if you’re comfortable with it, or is this a once-in-a-lifetime deal? Talk about what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not comfortable with, and how you want to deal with things that make you uncomfortable. Once you’ve reached common ground when it comes to the threesome, above all, make sure anyone else that is involved in your threesome is in the know too.

Would You Have A Threesome?

32% of users who answered our online threesome poll suggested they would “absolutely” have a threesome, no questions asked. 40% suggested they would have a threesome if they were with “the right group of friends.” Only a small percentage – 29% to be exact – suggested they wouldn’t even consider having a threesome. So are threesomes “in?” Would you have a threesome? Take our poll here, only on Ask Dan and Jennifer.

Sick Or Sexy – When He’s Daddy In The Bedroom

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Everyone has their own kinks and fantasies that they like to play out in the bedroom. Whether it’s simple, missionary on top sex, or really kinky BDSM, everyone has something they like and enjoy doing when it comes to their own sexual satisfaction. Many people enjoy talking dirty, or roleplaying in the bedroom, but is there ever a point where this can go too far?

What happens when we start carry those term of endearment into the bedroom? Watch this video to find out if it’s normal to call each other ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy,’ even when the kids aren’t around.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLnqizhF0MI[/youtube]

Using “Mommy” And “Daddy” To Refer To Your Partner

Lots of parents call each other “Mommy” or “Daddy” in front of the kids, and sometimes when they’re alone just out of habit. This is a completely normal part of parental life, especially if you’re teaching very little ones what to call your partner. If you refer to your partner as “Jeff” all the time, but ask your little one to call him “Daddy,” she might get confused. It can definitely help teach little ones if you and your partner call each other “Mommy” and “Daddy” too. But is there ever a point where these terms of endearment aren’t normal?

Using “Mommy” And “Daddy” In The Bedroom

It may be out of habit, or it may be a bit of fun roleplaying, but sometimes the terms “Mommy” and “Daddy” get carried away in the bedroom. Some people even like to roleplay with those terms, with “Mommy” punishing her bad boy, or her partner asking, “Who’s your Daddy?” This may seem strange, or even sick, but it’s just part of roleplaying. If both partners are into it, and both partners are comfortable and emotionally mature enough to realize that it is just a roleplaying game, there’s certainly nothing wrong with it, just as there is nothing wrong with playing “teacher” in the bedroom, or “french maid.” As long as everyone involved is having fun and isn’t getting hurt, there’s no reason to think there’s something “wrong” with you. If someone becomes uncomfortable, find a new game to play. It’s as simple as that.

When It Crosses The Line

There is a point where being “Mommy” in the bedroom (or being “Daddy” for that matter) can cross the line. If you’re playing “Mommy” and your partner is thinking of his own mother, there are some psychological issues there that probably need to be addressed. Although, your partner is the only one that will ever know that, so it’s up to him to seek help if he finds that he’s having these kids of issues. Also, if being “Daddy” in the bedroom leads a man into psychological or physical abuse of his own children because he’s so into it, that is definitely a call for professional help. Other than that, it’s very hard for two, emotionally mature, consenting adults to make roleplaying “Mommy” and “Daddy” in the bedroom go too far. So what do you think? Is it sick or sexy?

Cuckold Fantasy: My Wife With Another Man – Why Do I Like It?

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Everyone has a secret sex fantasy – what’s yours? Maybe you have a shoe fetish, or perhaps you enjoy BDSM or biting. What is considered outside the norm for you? What if you like watching your wife get banged by another man and really enjoy it? Is this considered abnormal? Should you stop indulging in your fantasy? Here’s what you want to know about 2 guy, 1 girl threesomes and more.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Cuckold question: I like watching my wife get banged by a well endowed man. I love watching her climax in ways she doesn’t with me. Is this TOO weird?

–John, IN

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE9xFYeQXxg[/youtube]

Who Gets To Determine What Is Normal?

First of all, what is considered “normal” in this society? There are so many varieties of people with different cultures and different backgrounds who all do things a little bit differently that it’s practically impossible for anyone to determine a baseline of what is considered “normal” or “abnormal.” With that said, people might think your fantasy is weird if you share it with them, but what about those guys who like wearing women’s underwear – do you think that’s weird? Everyone’s own fantasy or fetish isn’t considered strange to them, but other people’s fantasies are labeled “weird” or “abnormal.” It’s all subjective, so worry less about what is “normal” and what isn’t and focus more on how to get what you and your partner both want in a sexually healthy relationship.

Confidence In Your Sexuality And Masculinity

If you enjoy watching your wife have sex with another man and are genuinely cool with it, you deserve some kudos! While involving other women with their wife in a 2-girl, 1 guy threesome is a typical man’s fantasy, the tables often get turned when a woman suggests bringing another man into the equation. Most men are too self conscious, too jealous and too insecure with themselves to really enjoy watching their partner be with another person sexually. If you’re not bothered by watching your wife become sexually intimate with another man and truly enjoy watching her be pleasured in this way, it speaks volumes about your confidence in yourself and your masculinity.

Have Fun!

The best way to judge if your sexual fantasy or fetish is “crossing” the line is to ask yourself the basic question – does it involve only consenting adults? Is everyone comfortable with what is going on? If so, have fun! As long as you and everyone involved can legally consent to sexual activity and no one is being harmed or doing something they’re uncomfortable doing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your sexual fetish or fantasy. Make sure your relationship with your partner stays strong and healthy, and communicate with them regularly about what you like, what she likes and what the third person likes during sex. If any hard feelings come up, talk to your partner about them. If you have any suggestions about what would turn you on more, or if your partner has any suggestions about what would turn them on more, it’s important to keep an open line of communication going when it comes to your sex life. The biggest reason that threesome fantasies crumble is that partners have a breakdown in communication – enjoy yourself and talk to your partner often for a healthy and happy sex life!

Help! I Fantasize About Being A Prostitute!

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Everyone has a fantasy – some, more than others. Many people choose not to act out their fantasies, afraid that their fantasies will offend someone, or embarrass them. You can, however, act out your fantasy in a safe, fun way with your partner, making your sex life that much sweeter. How can you act out your fantasy with your partner, especially if you’re not sure that they share your fantasy?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I fantasize about being a prostitute, having sex with strangers and being naughty – having to do what the other person wants and even getting paid for it. I want to experience this fantasy with my husband, but he’s not comfortable being the ‘dominant’ one. How can we pull this off so that everyone has fun?

–Lisa, WA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0t4ZFqoLd8&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Consenting Adults Get The Green Light

When it comes to acting out a fantasy, as long as your fantasy is safe (as in, doesn’t cause anyone harm) and is between consenting adults, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to act out your fantasy and have fun! No matter what your fantasy is, if you’re not hurting anyone and everyone involved is okay with it, there’s nothing that should stop you from satisfying your deepest sexual desires and fantasies.

Sexual Compatibility

That said, many people don’t share the same fantasies and might be uncomfortable with another person’s fantasy. How can you tell if your partner is sexually compatible with you and your fantasy without putting yourself out there and risking embarrassment? The trick is not to have a “sit down” talk with your partner. Often, this can be overwhelming for a partner, especially if your fantasy is something they’ve never had any experience with before. Try introducing your partner to your fantasy slowly, by dressing in some lingerie or a costume that suits your fantasy, or even simply playing with dominant and submissive roles. If your partner shows that he or she is interested in your fantasy, or turned on by what you’re doing, try introducing a little more each time until you’re really ready to tell them about what you want to act out and what your fantasy is.

Fantasy Box

Many couples and partners use something called a “fantasy box” where they can submit their fantasies on paper in a safe and fun environment. With a fantasy box, you can write your fantasies down on a piece of paper, and slip it into the box. Every week (or however often you would like), you can pull a piece of paper out of the box and act out the fantasy. It’s fun to be spontaneous, and both you and your partner already know you’ll be acting out a fantasy, so you’ll be in a great mindset to have a good time! Some fantasies take a bit of preparation, so, it can also be fun to pull a fantasy out of the box a few weeks ahead of time and go shopping together for toys, lubes or costumes – whatever your fantasy requires!

The bottom line is, as long as your fantasy – whether it be acting out the fantasy of being a prostitute or something else – is between consenting adults, and you introduce your fantasy slowly to your partner or use a fantasy box, you can have fun indulging in your sexual desires and grow closer to your partner.