Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for woman on top

Best Sex Positions To Last Longer In Bed – Are You Ready For Explosive Sexual Endurance With These?

By

Are you embarrassed by how soon you finish in bed? Is premature ejaculation making you feel less of a man and more like a lousy lover?

There is probably nothing worse than your wife, girlfriend or lover anticipating a night of pleasure, only to have you ending up being “too quick on the draw”. It can happen to ANY guy (and you probably know it all too well). And one of the questions I get more than ANY other is whether there are positions that help men last longer in bed. The simple truth is, there are! But here’s the thing – most couples adopt at most 2 different positions during lovemaking.

Well, considering that most guys climax within two to four minutes, that does not provide much leeway for experimenting with different positions. But ironically, the converse is also true. The more positions you experiment with, the more likely you will find some positions that will give you better control over your arousal and stimulation levels. In short, how long you last in bed can be directly controlled and improved by the sex positions you use. There are certain positions that put undue stress on the core muscle groups in your body – particularly your abs, arms, thighs, buttocks and pelvis. This stress makes it difficult to control your arousal.

The “Culprit” Of Quick-Fire Sex

The missionary position is a surefire position for quick ejaculation. This is a common position that most guys use during sex, so is it any wonder that many men don’t last the distance? What happens is that this position requires you to prop yourself up. And after thrusting for a couple of minutes, the amount of stress and tension in the muscles on your arms and legs will gradually build up and push you over the edge, making you lose control over your arousal. So which sex positions are the best for prolonging orgasm?

Woman On Top Or Cowgirl Position

The woman-on-top or cowgirl position gives you far better ejaculatory control even though your woman is actually controlling the movements and thrusting.

Why? Firstly, this position allows your body to be completely relaxed and stress-free. You are lying on your back and just enjoying the sensations coursing through your body. When you are relaxed and your main body muscle groups that precipitate ejaculation are not tensed, it becomes much easier for you to control your arousal.

Secondly, the part of the penis that is most sensitive to touch is the frenulum (the small fold of skin located on the underside of the rim where the penis head meets the shaft). Thrusts that are direct upwards instead of downwards in a woman’s vagina will cause less friction, and hence lessen stimulation on this ejaculation trigger point.

The Reverse Cowgirl Position

The “reverse cowgirl” is another great variation you can try out. As the name implies, this is the reverse of the woman-on-top position – your partner mounts you, but with her back facing you. You can try this variation after adopting the traditional cowgirl. It can help vary the stimulation, without losing the fun and pleasure from the act.

The key is to experiment with different positions, until you find a few that give both you and your partner pleasure and help you last longer at the same time. If you need a quick head start, try these recommended positions and see your endurance get a healthy boost!

Q&A: Sex Tip – How To Get Her To Be On Top

By

One of the most challenging things in the bedroom is finding new sex positions to be in that you and your partner both enjoy. If you are really into a certain sex position but your partner doesn’t seem to want to try it, here are some great ways to get her to be more interested in it so you both can enjoy fun and exciting sex!

Question: My girlfriend and I are happy and in love and everything is going great. We have sex almost everyday. It’s wonderful! But she doesn’t like to change up the sex position. She knows that I like when she’s on top because we talk about it and when we “talk dirty” via phone/text she always says she’s going to get on top of me, but when we get in bed, it seems like she doesn’t want to. Do you think she wants me to throw her around and put her on top of me and stuff? I’ve thought about trying that, but I don’t want to throw her into a situation she doesn’t want to be in.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9fcKLBzCDo[/youtube]

Trying Other Positions

So maybe your partner doesn’t want to try being on top right now, but perhaps she’ll be interested in trying some other positions that give her a little more control without giving her all the control. If your partner is very shy, especially with sex, she may be apprehensive about having all the control when it comes to having sex. Some great sex positions to warm her up to being on top are the lotus position or the spoon position. In the lotus position, you and your partner are both sitting up, with her sitting on your lap facing you. This allows her to be “on top” but then again, so are you! In the spoon position, you will enter your partner from behind while you are both lying down as though you were spooning. Although you are in control here, she can actually control the depth and speed of your penetration.

Help Her Get On Top

Your partner may want you to take the initiative to get her on top. She may be too shy to get out of her missionary position comfort zone herself, but she may like it once she gets there. During sex, gently roll over so she ends up being on top for a few minutes. If she seems to really like it, stay there! If not, roll her back over so you’re on top again. You can increase the time she spends on top as you do this more often during sex, and eventually she will be on top for the majority of the time during sex! Another thing you can do is go down on her first and get her really, really turned on. She will be more receptive to new things when she’s losing control and in the throes of passion. Help her to relax before sex with a hot bath or a glass of wine, and if she’s in a more relaxed state of mind, she’ll be more receptive to your advances.

Encourage Her!

Let her know how much you like it when she’s on top. Encourage her when she is and let her know how great she is doing. Give her the right body language too, such as making noises during sex when she is pleasing you or grabbing her harder and holding her tighter. She may be afraid of being on top because she’s afraid she won’t please you! Just let her know how great she’s doing and how much you like it and she’ll be more inclined to do what really turns you on.

Q&A: What’s The Best Sex Position For First Time Sex?

By

The best sex positions are often a matter of personal preference, but is it normal to be concerned about what position to use if both partners are having sex for the first time? Yes, but choosing the best sex position for first time sex isn’t difficult at all. Here’s how you can relax, find the position that works for you and your partner and have fun!

Question: What’s the best position the man should be in if they are both having sex for the first time?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0uqOoCbtQo[/youtube]

Missionary Position

It may be cliché, but it’s a classic. The missionary position is considered the most natural, easiest position to get into. With the man on top, he can be in control of the thrusting and the woman can be in control of the angle of her pelvis to help prevent his penis from going in too deep and causing discomfort for the first time. Typically, most people use the missionary position when having sex for the first time, simply because it’s a position that is comfortable for just about everyone. You can go slow or fast with the missionary position, or start slow and build up speed as you and your partner get closer to orgasm.

Other Positions

While there are hundreds of other sex positions you can choose from for your first time having sex, it may not be the best idea. Sex positions like doggy style or woman on top will allow your penis to penetrate her vagina too deeply at first, causing extreme discomfort and pain for her. As you and your partner continue to have sex and her vagina becomes accommodated to your penis, she will be able to relax more and start to feel more comfortable with other sex positions. Some positions, however, aren’t focused so much on deep penetration, such as spooning. Talk to your partner about sex positions that she might be interested in for her first time, and ask her to be honest about her concerns. Is she afraid that some sex positions will hurt, or is she more interested in trying an advanced sex position? There’s nothing wrong with using any sex position you want to for your first time, as long as you and your partner are both comfortable with it and it feels good.

Remember To Have Fun

Great sex isn’t about the perfect position. You certainly don’t have to pick the “best” sex position to have fun, and you don’t have to have the best sex position to make your first time sex special. Relax a little and remember to have fun. Sometimes, things don’t go perfectly the first time and that’s okay. Your first time, as well as hers, will be special no matter what if you have a good attitude about it and aren’t stressed about having a flawless first time. If you try a certain position and it’s not working out for either your or your partner, don’t be afraid to try something else or get creative. There’s no certain way your first time has to be. Just make sure you and your partner are having a good time!

3 Titillating Sex Positions For Women

By

Guy on top, doggy style. Guy on top. The same sex position over and over can really bring your sex life down and many positions that men use aren’t all that great for women. But here’s the good news – men generally like any sex position as long as his penis is . . . well, you get the idea. So ladies, here are four awesome sex positions you need to try tonight!

Woman On Top

Okay, we’ve all heard of woman on top. We’ve all done woman on top. But here’s a reason that you need to make the woman on top position one of your regular, go-to sex positions. Did you know most women can climax when they’re on top? That’s because the angle between your man’s penis and your g-spot is perfect for just the right amount of stimulation.

The Variation: Face your man’s feet instead of his head. This is called the “Reverse Cowgirl” position. This gives your guy a great view of your backside and you can even use a vibrator in this position to stimulate your clitoris and make this position mind blowing.

Sitting Face To Face

Have your partner sit Indian style on the bed or couch, or wherever you like. Face him, and lower yourself onto his penis, wrapping your legs around him. This sex position is great on a bed because the springs inside help your partner to propel you up and down because he’ll be doing most of the work. Why is this position great for women? The face to face contact and emotional intimacy you can experience in this position is off the charts.

The Variation: Both of you will still be sitting, but try facing away from your partner. This is almost a sexy, sultry version of Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in Ghost.

Side By Side

Many “new sex positions” are invented by a bunch of guys sitting around a conference table with stick figures, trying to find the weirdest ways they can fit them together. Right? Okay, maybe not, but to for a woman who is looking up new sex positions to try, some of these acrobatic moves can seem downright outlandish. Are they really supposed to work? In the Side By Side position, you are simply lying down and facing your partner with your legs intertwined so his penis can enter you. This requires no special maneuvers, yet gives you the emotional and physical intimacy you need to have an orgasm.

The Variation: Try this position while you’re facing away from him, like spooning. Hold a pillow to your chest and groin for better control and let him reach around and fondle your breasts.

Don’t be afraid to try new things in the bedroom, but remember that you don’t have to act like you’re from the Cirque du Soliel just to please your partner either. Find positions that you and your partner both enjoy and rotate between them when you have sex so your sex life doesn’t become stagnant. Focus more on spending time with your partner and enjoying the sexual sensations you’re sharing with them instead of focusing on getting to the Big O. Chances are, the Big O will come on it’s own, no pun intended.

Finding A Rhythm That Works When She’s “On Top”

By

Being in the “on top” position during sex can be a nerve-wracking experience for both women and men.

The expectation to please and to make the person “on bottom” orgasm can easily turn a playful sexual experience into an emotional disaster. Although it’s commonly assumed that the person in the dominant position has more control over the situation, and is therefore less vulnerable, this is not often the case from an emotional perspective.

Sure, they may be controlling the movements, but they are also putting their physical selves and their sexual prowess on display. If these attributes are commented upon or criticized by their partners, it could lead to feelings of shame – an emotion that rarely, if ever, makes sex better.

Women Can Be Particularly Vulnerable to “On Top” Criticisms

Because women are still “supposed” to be the sexually submissive sex, when a woman does work up enough courage to take a controlling position in bed she’s likely to be even more nervous than her male counterparts ever were. Most women feel rather out of place and very hesitant the first few times they try to be on top.

(Guys, remember how you felt the first time you had sex and were expected to “take control” of things?! Now multiply that by five and you’ll have an idea of how she’s feeling.) This nervousness often leads to jerky movements, sudden stops, and a general lack of sexual “flow.” The results can be an “on bottom” partner who not only doesn’t reach orgasm, but may start wondering where his usually submissive and confident sex kitten has gone.

Everyone Has to Find Their Own Sexual “Groove”

Just like everyone has their own special way of boogy-ing down on the dance floor, everyone has their own internal sexual rhythms they need to discover, usually via trial and error. Often by the time men are in their thirties they’ve practically forgotten what it was like to not have a defined sexual pattern. Women, on the other hand, often aren’t comfortable enough to explore their sexuality fully until they are in their thirties, which makes finding their natural rhythms (the ones that really come from their own bodies – not the ones that come from following someone else’s) that much harder.

Tips to Calm Her Down and Help Find Her Own Rhythm

  • Use Background Music – One of the easiest ways to relax into a sexual situation is to play your favorite sensual tunes in the background. Not only will music give her a little “mind escape” since she can close her eyes and let her imagination drift – very helpful is she is really nervous – but it will provide her with a rhythm. She can further play with this idea by picking music of varying tempos to see which ones “feel” the best to her, and to her partner.
  • Stop Thinking Up and Down and Start Thinking Front and Back – Many women who first get on top have an image of a woman “bouncing” up and down on her partner. The up and down motion does, of course, work for some women in some situations, but don’t forget to try rocking her hips back and forth as well! This kind of serpentine motion tends to feel more natural for women and is perfect for either the woman-sitting-man-lying-down positions or the woman-and-man-sitting positions. By rocking her hips front and back she not only stimulates her g-spot (and often her clitoris against his pubis), but gives the man intense stimulation without ever having to “pull out.” Start off slowly, varying the speed and the depth of penetration (it can be too intense if she fully sits down and he is completely inside). This is a great technique that can bring most men to orgasm in a way they never expected.
  • Let Him Lead in the Beginning – For women who are very unsure of how they should proceed, why not let him lead with his hands on her hips in the beginning? This can make her feel more emotionally secure since he is still somewhat in control, and will give her a chance to get used to the new vantage point. Once she is ready, let her go slowly, let her try out different things, and be supportive. Tell her what feels good, what angles you enjoy. And never hesitate to let her know how great she looks “up there!”

Final Things to Consider

Faster is not always better! It’s very common for women to find and enjoy slower rhythms than men. However, this doesn’t mean the woman on top sex position can’t make men orgasm just as easily. In fact many men find a medium paced rhythm to be both effective and excruciatingly pleasurable since it tends to draw out the excitement phase that much longer.

And Guys, if your partner isn’t the smoothest of lovers right away, please try to hide any confusion you may have and remember to be encouraging. She’ll find her “groove” eventually. And when she does, don’t be surprised if you have to wrestle her to the bottom just to get some of your own “on top” time back again!