Rough sex takes on an entirely different meaning when it comes to fisting. Fisting is a sexual activity that is gaining in popularity, but there are still lots of questions that surround it. Is it safe to do, or should it be avoided? Are there ways to make fisting safer? Here is what you want to know about fisting and how you can make it as safe as possible.
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What Is Fisting?
Fisting is considered to fall within the “BDSM” category of sex acts and simply put, it is the act of putting the hand, all the way up to the wrist or forearm, into the vagina or rectum. This is most easily done by forming the hand into a “duck bill” shape where the thumb and all the fingers meet (resembling a duck bill) for easier insertion. Then, the fingers can be moved into a fist shape or wiggled around once the hand is inside.
Fisting can be done alone during masturbation or during sex with a partner to create unique sensations for both men and women.
Is Fisting Safe?
When done properly, fisting can theoretically be safe and even enjoyable for both the giving and receiving partner. However, doing it properly is the key to making sure fisting doesn’t cause bodily harm or damage. Here’s how to keep fisting safe and fun:
- Go slow. It’s very important that you go very slow when inserting the hand and wrist into a vagina or up the rectum. Going to fast may cause extreme discomfort or pain for your partner, and it may also cause some of the delicate vaginal or anal tissues to stretch too much and tear.
- Use lots and lots of lube. Water based lube is best for easy clean up, but silicone based lube can be used as well. Do not attempt to try fisting yourself or your partner without a very generous amount of lube! Without lube, you can pretty much guarantee it won’t be comfortable for your partner and the risk of tearing goes up dramatically without the proper amount of lubrication.
- Don’t use a “pumping” motion. You want to move your hand around during fisting, without taking it all the way out and pumping air into the vagina or rectum. This can cause air embolisms, which can be very dangerous and even cause death.
- Allow for lots of warm up time and foreplay. When a woman is fully aroused and excited after foreplay, her vagina will relax more, making it easier to insert larger objects.
- If it hurts, stop!
Fisting The Anus
Fisting the vagina is much safer than fisting the anus. Vaginas are very elastic and made to stretch and accommodate very large objects, because they are designed to give birth. A baby’s head is much larger than a fist, so you can rest assured that after fisting the vagina in a safe way, everything will go back to its normal size and shape.
That said, the rectum is not designed to accommodate objects as large as a fist. Even if you use lots and lots of lube, fisting the rectum can cause pain, discomfort at best and tearing or bleeding at worst. Repeated fisting of the rectum will change the size and shape of the anus, possibly leading to the need for adult diapers in the future because the anal sphincter has lost enough elasticity that it can no longer keep waste inside.
How To Make Anal Fisting Safer
While anal fisting isn’t considered a “safe” sexual activity, there are some things you can do to make it as safe as it can be.
- Start small and work your way up. Start with small anal sex toys, such as tiny butt plugs, and work your way up to the bigger stuff.
- Have a “safe” word. If it hurts too much, your partner will use the safe word so you’ll know to stop immediately.
Other Safety Tips To Consider
While taking the above steps to make fisting safer, here are some additional things to think about before you get started.
- Trim your fingernails. Scrub underneath them and trim them, so there are no sharp corners, hangnails or dirt underneath.
- Consider using a latex glove. Keep your hands clean and your partner’s anus or vagina bacteria free by simply slipping on a latex glove before fisting.
- Never use a “numbing” lube. If it hurts, you need to feel it because that means you’re going too far! If you use numbing lubes, you may tear or bleed without realizing it.