An orgasm is the icing on the cake when it comes to sex, but many girls can’t get there. It’s not always easy to reach orgasm, especially if your guy doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing down there. But men aren’t the only culprits here – there are plenty of other factors that contribute to a woman losing out on reaching orgasm during sex. Are these three issues to blame for you not reaching climax?
1. Obsessing Over The Way Your Body Looks
Almost all girls obsess over the way their bodies look, especially naked. This is generally due to social conditioning – from the time a girl is a child, well into her adult years, she is conditioned that “beautiful” is being thin, tan, having perfectly straight and white teeth and wearing sexy clothes. Cellulite is a “no-no” for women, even though it’s a completely natural and normal thing to have.
If you’re thinking about looking “fat” or unattractive to your partner during sex, you’re most likely not going to be able to have an orgasm. Your brain is linked to your body in this way, and if you’re busy obsessing over finding the angle that you look the best in during sex (rather than the angle that feels the best), then you’re going to become frustrated when you can’t reach the peak.
2. Thinking About Your To-Do List
Again, a woman’s brain plays a very significant part in her arousal and ability to reach orgasm during sex. A woman must be completely and totally relaxed and be in the moment to be able to get over the “hump,” so to speak, and she simply can’t do that if she’s focused on other things. If you’re thinking about what you need to get at the grocery store instead of being in the moment with your partner and allowing yourself to be overcome with passion, then you’re not likely to even get close to orgasm city.
Spending a few minutes before sex relaxing and letting the stress of the day melt away is really worth it – and so is engaging in plenty of foreplay. Do something that you know totally relaxes you – like watching your favorite television show while drinking a glass of wine, or taking a warm bubble bath and meditating on positive things. Do whatever it is that you need to do to allow your brain to switch from thinking about all of your responsibilities to thinking about only pleasure.
When you’re in the right mind frame, sexual pleasure and orgasm will come much, much more easily.
3. Wondering Why You’re Taking Forever To Reach Orgasm
This is one of the biggest orgasm killers of all. You get going and it’s going pretty good, and then you start thinking about time. And how long you’re taking. And the longer you take, the more obsessed you get over how long you’re taking. It’s a vicious cycle that gets you nowhere close to climax.
If the sex is good, you’re going to forget about time all together. It could take you ten seconds, ten minutes or an hour to reach orgasm and you’d have no earthly idea. In fact, you may even forget where you are. If you are prone to thinking about how long it takes you to reach the big O, plan for you and your partner to have plenty of time to have sex. Instead of wondering when you’ll actually get there, focus on each sensation and how it feels in the moment.
4. Not Using Enough Lube
Some couples don’t think they need lube during sex. They may think it’s wet enough once they get turned on, or they think that saliva works just as well. This couldn’t be further from the truth! If you have trouble getting to orgasm often, consider investing in an inexpensive bottle of good quality lube. You can get all different kinds at supermarkets and drugstores, and you can even find some in specialty or novelty shops in the mall. Flavored lubes smell fantastic (but usually taste like liquid plastic), while higher quality lubes contain mostly natural ingredients.
Lube will reduce the friction between you and your partner, both in the vagina and outside on your vulva, where your clitoris is. If you’re slipping and sliding more, your going to become more aroused than if you have dry skin rubbing up against dry skin. Don’t be too proud to buy yourself a bottle of good lube – it is well worth the cost and you’ll be glad you did when you finally get that climax you’ve been craving!