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What Women Want

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I recently read an article about what women want, and your average woman commented on what ‘touched’ her most when it came to men. Some women wanted help around the house, some women wanted sex in a certain manner, some women wanted appreciation. It got me to thinking about what women REALLY want in a relationship. It will be interesting to see if the women out there agree with me, I tend to think more like a guy (or so I’m told lol!!).

Playful Passion

Number one for me is that I want to feel passionate with my man. I want to feel like there is always a fire burnin’ for one another. I want to keep the spice alive!! I love it when my guy and I are flirty together and keep that ‘secret connection’ in the forefront, like stealing those mini make out sessions whenever the opportunity presents itself. It’s vital to a relationship to take advantage of those times – those moments when you can still be playful together. The key however, is having the desire and mindset to be actively flirty and fun with your partner. It’s easy to let life distract you. Bills, chores, work, kids – the lazy route is to have these things interfere. The participative route (which is a whole lot more fun and rewarding) is to WANT to keep the special moments going. Women crave this kind of connection from their men. The guy who will slide up behind her while she’s working in the kitchen – even a passing ‘goose’ to say “how YOU doin??”

Foreplay First

For the women out there who want sex (and who doesn’t!?!) the consensus seems to be that they want some good quality foreplay. Guys who show they CARE about how you respond to their actions. Guys who take their time and WANT to turn their woman on (on a side note, guys should expect the same in return – a girl who merely ‘gives it up’ doesn’t cut it for a guy’s excitement level either). Some guys can get lost in the ultimate goal of ‘getting her off’ and lose sight of the passion in attaining that outcome. Sex shouldn’t be a chore between a couple in any way, both people should equally enjoy the physical involvement. Sex is the one thing that bonds you above and beyond all other relationships – make it feel that way – make it a priority. Women want to feel sexy, loved and that you care about what excites them in the bedroom.

Cunning Compliments

Along with that point is that women want to feel like their man is attracted to them. They want to feel beautiful. Most women have an inner conversation that pin points their flaws and physical insecurities. I’d be hard pressed to find a woman who doesn’t mentally criticize her cellulite or weight or breast size…you name it, we self scrutinize it! Men are not always aware of the internal self doubt that a lot of women have. We count on our men to remind us of how beautiful we are. Every woman desires to hear that. A woman wants to feel like no matter where she is, the man she is with looks at her as the most beautiful woman in the room. Men may be surprised at the realization that the odd compliment can boost us so high. I’m guilty for looking to my man for approval, always wanting to look my best for him – I’m not one to take his attraction for granted. A woman who feels good, also feels good to be around fellas!

Love and Loyalty

An important factor to a lot of women (and men) is commitment and loyalty. Anyone in a good relationship values the commitment of their partner. Feeling safe and secure in their bond and not having to question their partner’s actions. Knowing that their partner chooses to be with them and is devoted to the relationship. I believe that the commitment level that you are willing to give should be equal to that of what your partner is willing to give as well. Feeling like your man would do anything for you and has completely given of himself to you, and vice versa. A woman desires for her man to show he is proud to be with her and has no problem indicating his belief in the commitment he has to her. A woman longs to be her man’s one and only.

Ultimately both sexes want to be with a partner who ‘betters’ their life. Who is supportive through the rough times and helps to create the good times. Someone you can laugh with, someone you enjoy spending time with. The one person above all others you would choose to be around no matter what it is that you are doing. The person in your life who you want by your side. If you really think about what you want – I am certain the qualities I have mentioned here will be the ones that count the most, even above any physical or social attributes. Passion, supportiveness, devotion and commitment, the person you’d be missing if they weren’t in your life. Someone who puts your feelings above all else. Someone who makes you happy.

Online Dating – Doing It Right

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While online dating was once considered the dating foray of the nerdy and desperate, many people are realizing how valuable online dating – or online “introductions” really can be. If you’re interested in online dating, here’s how to do it right!

Setting Things Up

Before you begin, I suggest you create a new email address – one that protects your anonymity and gives you control. This is a safeguard to keep your regular email address safe from creepies that may not want contacting you.

Rule number one – do NOT give out any personal information right away.

Chances are you will have to pick a nickname or ‘login name’ for your dating site – take a moment when considering this – (as stated before, do not give out your name yet) what will your nickname SAY about you?? After all don’t pick ‘busty Betsy’ if you aren’t so busty – if you falsely represent yourself you only set yourself up for failure…not to mention if you care about who you are to attract and what characteristics they will decipher from your portfolio. Don’t pick “lonely heart” if you don’t want to come across as desperate. Try to keep it light – maybe consider what your hobbies are – like “Hockey girl” for example.. that can also make for a great starting conversation maker when you are contacted by someone.

What Are You Looking For?

Clarify what you are looking for up front – if you want something with long term potential say so, if you are looking to casually start dating again – again – be upfront.. State some of your basic likes and dislikes when it comes to dating & relationships. You may value loyalty, you may prefer a non-smoker…. List your hobbies…things you enjoy doing on a date maybe, or whatever your idea of fun is!!

Most dating sites will tell you that posting a picture will generate a lot more responses. I say, go for no photo at first and see how that goes. Maybe once you have comfortably established some chat with another person you can specifically send them your photo without having it out for public display.

If you are comfortable going the photo displayed route then ensure you are using an accurate depiction that is CURRENT. Thing is, you should expect the same in return as well. I once heard a suggestion where you have the person hold up today’s paper when sending you a photo of themselves lol!! That’s not that bad of an idea!
Now, before you go on chatting with just anyone through email or messenger or the dating site’s chat function – take a look into THEIR profile. Make sure this is someone you want to strike up a conversation with – don’t waste anyone’s time and expect the same in return.

Nixing “Chatspeak”

Now, what I believe is the KEY to online dating success – is being able to ‘chat/type’ the same way you would actually ‘speak’ if the person was in front of you. It always amazes me how often people who I know are very social and fun can come across as daft during a messenger conversation lol!! Try not to only give one word answers – have some questions that you’d like to ask. Toss the nerves aside, the benefit of online dating/chatting initially is that you remain somewhat anonymous… you don’t even have to worry about what you look like unless you venture into video chat ;o) (if you are on webcam chat.. make sure you’re presentable)….

Chatting through online dating can give you a lot of information in a short amount of time. This is a bonus as it saves people from wasting time if they discover something they aren’t keen on about the other person. It also can make you feel less inhibited to talk about things. On a real date there are always distractions – online the focus is the conversation and whether or not you feel the ‘click’.

Making An Online Relationship A Real Relationship

When you feel comfortable meeting in person, do so in a public place during daytime hours if at all possible. Provide your own transportation initially as well.. have a friend check in on you at some point during the meet (maybe they can send you a text) in case you require an ‘out’. These are standard concepts when meeting a new person anyway… hopefully the person you were chatting with online turns out to be an honest representation of themselves. There are always people out there who have used photos from their ‘better days’ or who haven’t been completely honest with their relationship status, etc, etc… just be aware before you dive right in. So keep that initial meeting short – coffee or a drink – not dinner. If all goes well, dinner can be next time. If what you are looking for is something casual and you wish to take things to another level – just be safe – going anywhere alone with a stranger poses threats – keep yourself protected at all times and in all ways ;o) Even if you use a reputable dating service you never truly know the person you are meeting initially so be smart.

Online dating can be a great way to branch out and it no longer holds the stigmas it once did. There are likely more couples meeting online as there are in bars now-a-days. Plus, you’ll likely know a lot more about the person you are meeting face to face then you ever could find out from someone you meet in a bar. Sharpen up those typing skills – and open the door to the online possibilities!!!

In The Thick Of A Break Up

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Break ups are difficult no matter who you are. It is the rare occasion that a break up ends in harmony for both parties, it most usually does not. Although most people will later agree that a break up was indeed the best decision, initially this can be very difficult to see. There is normally one person who seeks to end the relationship more than the other. No doubt that a break up will cause a greater strain on the non-decision maker for they cannot force a relationship to continue without participation.

There’s No Doubt About It – Breakups Hurt

The hurt and shock one may experience at the onset of a break up can feel completely overwhelming. Tears, anger and frustration are common feelings – but the good news is, it’s the first real step in getting past a tumultuous time. It’s understandable to feel lost when a new path lies ahead. I’m here to tell you to pause for a moment because this new beginning holds so much potential. So once the tears have fallen and you start to breathe again you will realize that there is more to life, for all of us. It may at first feel like your world is crumbling but rebuilding creates the opportunity to make things so much better – give yourself some credit for deserving better.

For every challenge we face there are new lessons to be learned and opportunities to embrace. No matter how devastating a break up may be, remind yourself that the person you want to be with you – is exactly that, the person who WANTS to be with you. Why waste your time with anyone else? If you do, you are only delaying your best relationship from coming into your life. Everyone deserves to be with a person who loves them equally in return. Love doesn’t hurt, sure everyone has their ups and downs but know when to let go – once you do there is so much more to hold fast to.

What Happens When Your Life Changes Because Of A Breakup

Even when situations change, maybe you were living together and have to now move. If that was the case then you also face the financial changes that may occur. Circles of friends may change, family dynamics, among some of the possibilities. My point is, until you decide to build for your future instead of wallow in your past, you are merely running in place… exhausting isn’t it?

Negative thinking is like a spiral, once you get sucked in it will skew your thoughts repeatedly. Find ways to catch yourself before it begins. When you feel the onset of negativity you need to find an outlet for it. Speak to a friend, use a journal, take a 5 minute time out and breathe deeply. Whatever method works for you to reset and begin again. You can do this with so many of life’s stressful situations. The key to remember is that your outlook is within your control and will ultimately effect what happens next in your life.

How A Breakup Can Benefit Your Life

Now, you’re ready right? A huge benefit to a break up is you no longer need to worry about what the other person is thinking or how they will react. Now is about YOU, this is where you focus. Do what makes you happy. Do NOT stop living, in fact, now is the time to live life to its fullest. There is a new relationship ahead of you if you wish to attract it – be your happiest self. After all, would you want to date someone who was meandering in a depression over a break up? NO!!

Chalk the past up to a lesson learned. A lesson learned means knowledge was gained and experience was earned. You will emerge – allow yourself to begin your new path with a brighter potential. Once you cut your losses, you will fly free. It all begins with perspective, how you look at your life and whatever it brings is completely within your control. No break up or person can take that away. You are stronger than you think.

Hand Job Tips – A Few Tid Bits On How To Work Your Man’s “Bits”

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Ask most men and they will admit that YES, they have experienced a bad hand job or a bad blow job and of course – everyone has likely had the odd lack-lustre sexual experience. I remember prior to having any sexual expertise under my belt, I referred to a friend who literally wrote me out her ‘tips’ on a piece of paper. Years and experiences later I know realize how valuable those pointers were. Since I believe in continuous learning, I figured I’d share my ‘style’ and perhaps it will contain some little tips for you to put on paper – or better yet, into practice!

Giving A Hand Job

Let us begin with the hand job. Simple as it may sound, being good at this technique means paying a LOT of attention to the reactions he gives you. Of course, every man is different and may like things done in certain ways. My input here carries the weight of having had some experience and some excellent feedback!!

First off, do NOT assume it’s a pull toy – the preferred motion is stroking ‘towards’ his body. From what I know most guys want to experience the same sort of movement from your hands or mouth as they would as if you were having intercourse. Of course there is the standard back and forth jerking that most people know. Now, learn to master that with JUST the right amount of grip (I say imagine holding a peeled banana – lightly enough so you don’t smush it at all but firm enough that you’ll have some banana residue on your hands afterwards).

Once that step has been established it’s time to add the ‘twist’. Imagine grasping your forearm and massaging in a twisting motion, this should be a good indication of the tension you are looking for. If your delivery of the twist contains too much grip it could cause your man to wince in pain instead of pleasure. So, if this is your first attempt at the twist then gradually work your grip – pay CLOSE attention to his response – when he looks to be in ecstasy – THAT’S your sweet spot – this is the grip you want – make a mental note.

Taking It To The Next Level

To take this step to the next level work the back and forth motion with a slight twist and you’ve got a move that will make men drool. Advanced hand jobbers can apply the second hand to this motion – starting in the middle of the shaft and working the hands in a twisting motion base to tip and back to the middle again..(imagine every so lightly wringing out a wet cloth, similar idea here). If he’s not in love, he will be lol! All of these moves are enhanced with the use of lube or saliva as well!

With all of these ‘moves’ I suggest starting slow and gradually building up speed – keep in mind this is not a race though, nor do most people desire these motions to be delivered with super speed. In other words, guys and girls tend to like a ramp up to speed when it comes to being digitally pleasured. Ask for feedback ‘is that good?’ ‘do you want it faster or slower?’ – knowing what your partner enjoys is vital!! Plus, say it in a sexy voice and that just adds to the allure.

What About Blow Jobs?

Regarding blow jobs, from what I’ve heard one of the biggest complaints that men have about receiving a bad blow job (sounds like an oxymoron but it does exist lol!) is that some women suck too hard. When giving a blow job use finesse, keep it wet and loose and ALWAYS bring in the tongue play. Never get into Hoover mode – save that for the hickeys alone! Always remember, soft and wet, take it in, continue to work your hands at the base creating continuous motion.

To drive him over the edge, work your tongue just under the tip, this is one of the most sensitive areas for men guaranteed to drive him wild! One of my signature moves is slow slippery circles of my tongue just under the tip. Most guys love the idea of a woman being able to take him into her mouth deeply. Relax your mouth and once in a while go as far down as you can. Whether you reach the baseline or not, the attempt will be greatly appreciated!! Another no-no would be the use of teeth when giving a blow job. It takes a skilled woman to know how to successfully and ‘ever-so-feather-lightly’ use her teeth when giving a blow job. If you do cross that line be on guard for any and every flinch!

Most guys also LOVE a good lick job. Incorporate this with your blow job skills and you’re away to the races! Lick his shaft and tip as if you were licking an ice cream cone. Up and down, all around the sides – he will be quivering with excitement!

Getting Into The “Nether” Regions

Anyone giving tips regarding how to give a good hand job or blow job would be remiss if they left out the added bonus of working your man’s testicles, or ‘boys’ as I like to call them.. Now, if there is one thing you need to know about the ‘boys’ it’s that they are extremely sensitive so whatever attention you give to them needs to be done with that in mind. A feather light touch goes a long way when it comes to the ‘boys’. I have yet to meet a guy who doesn’t love to have some attention paid to them though.

Be it a caress or a slippery lick, if it’s gentle, it’s good! I do however, have a move – that when executed correctly can be very intense for your fella. When giving a blow job or hand job I use my other hand to gently pull my thumb down the middle of the scrotum between the testicles and hold it there. This causes the skin on the shaft to pull down creating even more intensity at the tip while tightening up the skin around the ‘boys’ thus making them even more sensitized. A little side note here, if your guy ‘manscapes’ (a.k.a. shaves) his ‘boys’ then you know he likely desires you to venture down there for some extended play.

Hopefully this gives you some ideas on how to work your man. It’s a good place to start anyway.. never forget though, pay attention to the reactions you get, ask what they like and be attentive. Communication is key to the best sex life you can have!

Sex On Her Period – Should You Or Shouldn’t You?

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Is it filthy? Is it taboo? Is it simply natural? No matter what you think, everyone surely has their opinion when it comes to this topic – sex during her period. Do you? Don’t you? Have you? Should you? Along with everything else, it’s clearly a very personal choice. For now, I’ll give you a few things to consider.

How Does She Feel About It?

First and foremost I believe the option of having sex during her period has an awful lot to do with how the woman feels about it. During her time is she the type who experiences mood swings or has to deal with horrible cramping?? Is she normally withdrawn during this particular time of the month? These are all very legitimate reasons she may wish to avoid sex during her period. As with anything, if this topic is brought up you could be turned down, however – there is ALSO the chance that this may be something you could explore and perhaps, come to enjoy!!

Ironically, sex can potentially alleviate some of the discomfort that menstruation presents for a woman. Contrary to popular opinion, sex can actually help to relieve a headache – cramping or general feelings of low energy. Sex promotes blood flow which can often times minimize headaches and even possibly relax cramping… not to mention the obvious tension release! Sex can also be a great kick-start to feel re-energized during a downswing of your mood… Yes, endorphins do this!! An attempt couldn’t hurt – if it’s not for you then at least you know. If it works then it may broaden a whole new experience going forward.

What If The Guy Doesn’t Like It?

Now if it’s the guy who would rather avoid the dirty lovin’ at this time that’s a whole other situation. For many guys a woman’s time of month is a turn off. I believe this is mainly a mental reaction because physically things aren’t all that different when Aunt Flo is visiting. If this is something your woman wants to try and you are hesitant because of the sight of blood, how about turning off the lights?? If all goes according to plan, once you are turned on and ready to go – your focus will likely be on how things FEEL versus how they may look. There is always the option of using a condom if you prefer a little less clean up not to mention the obvious protection from risk, which should be assumed anyways. Get yourself a large towel to spread over the bed sheets and off you go!

So, if you’re into the idea of having sex while on her period and you’ve moved beyond any hesitations then we can take things to the next level, oral sex. Many people who don’t take issue with having sex on her period draw the line with oral sex. Again, everything regarding intimacy and one’s comfort level is based on personal choice. What many don’t consider when it comes to period sex is that flow levels in a woman vary throughout her time. Sure there will be heavier days where you can expect a little more fluid but there are also lighter days which might be a good time to venture into making an attempt.

Can You Have Oral Sex During Her Period?

Oral sex during her time can stay focused on her clitoris which is mainly away from the flow and wouldn’t be quite as shocking, while still giving her oral pleasure. If she is on her back there is also less potential for mess. You can also use oral dams (like a condom for your mouth/oral sex) at this time of month which are made for the purpose of protecting you from STD’s of course, but can also help to ease you into oral sex during this time. In return, if she is not comfortable with giving you oral sex after you’ve ‘gotten messy’ she can put a condom on you (a fresh one) when she goes down.

If you are in a committed relationship and are having unprotected sex then it’s up to your level of desire for attempting oral sex during her time. If you are both into trying, I recommend giving it a shot.
During a woman’s period this can also be a time where the surge of hormones can create a heightened sense of libido. A heightened libido can certainly benefit sexual activity. If you’ve practiced this before you’ll know that period sex isn’t all that shocking really. Sure it can be a little messier then usual but sometimes that just adds to the kink! If this is something you may wish to try, take my advice – embrace mother nature and enjoy sex at any time of the month from now on.