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First Time Sex Tips – 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Ready for Sex

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Sex is a part of a lasting relationship. Men and women alike need an outlet for their emotions, and there’s no better one than love making. Sex makes you feel connected with your partner in the most intimate way possible. By engaging in sex, you’re opening up yourself to your partner physically, emotionally and psychologically.

If you’re not in the “completely intimate” mindset yet, I don’t blame you.

You’ve probably heard of more than a few couples that split almost immediately after they did it for the first time. There are many factors for the split up, but more often than not, one or both didn’t expect to be dealing with too intense emotions too soon in their relationship.

Sex is a double edged sword. It can make or break your relationship. It can deepen your love for each other, or it can turn you both into possessive, jealous individuals who become co-dependent and eventually burn out.

So, how do you know you’re ready for sex with your partner? Here are some guide questions you can ask yourself if you’re thinking of going for it with your boyfriend.

  • Are you comfortable with your body?

Everyone has insecurities, but some women are more insecure about their physical appearance than others. If you look at yourself in the mirror and think you’re ugly, you might want to sort out your insecurities first before exposing yourself to a guy.

  • Are you completely sure he likes YOU, and not just the sex?

When sex becomes a factor in your relationship, you will always associate your insecurities with sex. For instance, he doesn’t want to do it with you or you caught him looking at nude photos of this or that starlet online. If you’re not sure he’s into you, you might end up thinking he’s secretly wishing you have bigger breasts or a trimmer tummy.

  • Do you trust him?

Trust plays a big role in love making. If you don’t trust your guy, and you’re secretly fretting whether he will use protection, or that he will not do anything that could hurt you, you’d better think twice before going to bed with him.

  • Are your motives pure?

Sharing intimacy should be about giving and receiving pleasure with a man you care enough for. In a sense, sex is a celebration of the love and friendship you have. You’re opening yourself up to the pleasure he can provide, and at the same time, you’re showing your willingness to shower him with the physical version of your affection.

If you’re using sex as a tool to make him more attached to you, to make someone else jealous or to make him like you over another girl, you’re just setting yourself up for a heart break later on.

  • Are you sure it’s what you want?

There are so many reasons why women put out, and some of these reasons may have something to do with peer pressure, like when your friends (or your boyfriend) constantly ask why you’re not doing it yet. If you have reservations about making love, wait until you’re ready to avoid regretting your actions later on.

If you answered “YES” to all the five questions above, then you really are ready to have sex.

Sex can intensify your feelings and improve your relationship with a guy naturally. It can also be the mortar that solidifies your relationship, so you can build a good foundation for the future.

Tension & Relaxation – The Secrets to Guaranteed Female Orgasms

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Orgasms are something around 10% of women never have, whether it is while masturbating or having sex with a loved one. This is the reason why women consult with me. A large number of them start off with confusions concerning how to become more susceptible to orgasms.

Developing equilibrium between tension and relaxation during sexual intercourse is a key issue. But is it really possible to be both tensed up and relaxed simultaneously?

Tension Makes Orgasms Possible

Muscle contraction is the kind of tautness that helps women orgasm (scientifically known as ‘myotonia’). Many females who don’t have orgasms are under the wrong perception that they just have to lay there and relax. They have heard about the importance of being relaxed during sex but what they fail to realize is that tension in the muscles is very often just as important when it comes to reaching a climax.

A lot of females have reported to having been able to reach and orgasm by tensing certain areas of their bodies. Some contract their abdominal, leg and buttock muscles. Some have even reported success while also contracting their feet muscles. Even upper body tensing has been noted to have helped women achieve an orgasm at one point or the other.

In fact, the number of women who reach an orgasm with no muscle tension at all is very small. Incidentally, muscle tautness that happen in the lower pelvis play a very important part in being able to reach a climax. You see, during an orgasm the muscles that contract automatically are the same that need to be squeezed to discontinue the stream of pee mid-flow.

The group of muscles involved here are the pubococcygeus muscle group (PC muscles) and their conscious contraction is known as a Kegel exercise. To build up arousal while engaging in sexual exploits, many women tense these PC muscles. Tensing or contracting the various muscle groups pushes blood in to the parts of the body active during sex. (The flow of blood to the groin needs to be increased to initiate arousal.)

All this talk about muscle tension surely makes one ask where the relaxation phase comes into the picture!

Relaxing Your Mind

The answer to this question is this: relaxation occurs in the mind. Relaxation during sexual activities means that you should stop worrying or thinking about anything else. Just try to be in the moment and FEEL each pleasure that washes over your body as your lover titillates you.

If you’re having problems emptying your mind and relaxing, apply the “silent radio technique”. This is the same technique that is used in post offices and public areas where long lines form. They help keep hostility low despite the long wait that people have to undergo. It can be visualized as the Times Square board sign where words stream across a screen from the left to the right and then fade away from the screen. The screens usually carry items like news highlights, horoscopes and sports.

While the above mentioned technique is being used during sex, you may find that the repetition of a mantra like “I can stay in this pleasurable state for hours,” or “this feels fantastic!” in your mental silent radio helps in keeping your mind occupied with thoughts that foster arousal instead of entertaining thoughts that decrease arousal.

A very important aspect to learning how to be more orgasmic involves these two factors that may look contradictory but make a large difference when used together in helping the sexual process reach its desired outcome.

How You Can Finally Spot The G-Spot

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Fresh research has confirmed this fact: every woman has a g-spot. This is the puzzling small part of you that has the ability to create pleasure that is out of this world. Read on and discover all you will ever have to know about experiencing its power.

If you’re yet to partake of this area’s magic, you must have heard the stories regarding the g-spot, a sensual area that is found in the interior part of your womanhood that can create mind-blowing orgasms when stimulated properly. On the other hand, this spot can be a source of frustration because many women are yet to find this elusive zone. While the g-spot concept is not a new phenomenon, considering that researchers have talked about it for a long time, the medical fraternity has always been hesitant to affirm its actual presence in women.

Well, I have some exciting news for you. The g-spot, or the Grafenberg spot, is a reality and you have acknowledged access to it, according to biopsies and MRI scans carried out by doctors.

Read on below for a ‘guided tour’ to your g-spot and trust us, you will discover it. After the discovery, I’ll proceed to explain to you how to handle it for maximum pleasure.

What is the G-spot, Anyway?

The actual size of the gspot is a contentious issue. The size can be anything from 1/4 of an inch to 2 inches and it is found on your vagina’s upper wall, approximately one inch or two away from the opening of your vagina. Beneath it is an extremely sensitive amount of tissue that responds sexually to the right kind of touch, as explained by Debby Herbenick, PhD from Indiana University Bloomington’s School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation. The sensation felt in the g-spot are sometimes described as deeper than those felt as a result of clitoral stimulation. The feeling is explained as a warm, glowing feeling that can be felt in the entire woman’s body.

Some experts who have always been aware of this spot’s existence were previously unsure regarding what the g-spot exactly is. They tried to establish whether the spot is a distinctive gland or a mere group of nerve endings that extend from the clitoral bottom part. Researches are clear about this: The g-spot is an independent unit, comparable to a male organ. It is referred to as our version of the prostate because its tissues are in an area whose chemicals are the same as those that are produced by male prostate glands that make sperm nourishing fluid, says Dr. Goldstein.

The g-spot and male prostate are also similar in terms of what women feel when the g-spot is stimulated. Some women report that they feel wetness that is beyond what they experience with other forms of stimulation. Some even say that they produce a clear fluid, which has no odor upon reaching climax.

Where to Find the G-Spot

Take a deep breath, lie down and relax. Your first attempt to find your g-spot will probably require patience. Begin by keeping your legs apart and bend your knees. This opens up your vagina and provides easy access to it. Face your palm upwards and place 2 fingers inside your vagina while pressing the tips of your fingers against the central part of the upper wall of the vagina. “You are looking for a springy, furrowed or slightly uneven area, similar to the upper part of your mouth,” Celeste Hirschman of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, explains.

If you are unsuccessful after numerous attempts, fill your mind with sexual fantasies or thoughts. When you become turned on, the g-spot will be filled with fluid and this will cause it to swell and increase in size. “It will be easier for you to find it when you are aroused.”

A strange notification that you have located it is a strong urge to urinate. “The g-spot is located next to the urethra and when you touch it; you will feel the need to urinate”, clinical director Bat Sheva Marcus, PhD explains.

Carry out continuous experiments by yourself with the use of varying levels of speed and pressure. Do not be alarmed if you feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. You don’t have to resist the feeling; just allow yourself to enjoy an extremely intense gspot orgasm by yourself before you get the chance to explain to your man what it will take to reach that point.

Show Your Lover Where Your G is!

Do you remember how your partner found the various pleasurable points of your body through a series of trials in the initial stages of your relationship? You should anticipate the same experience with your G. Granted he will be thrilled about helping you explore its blissful sensations; this is an unfamiliar area for many men.

To guide him easily, tell him to gently insert 1 or 2 fingers inside your vagina and then he should feel along the upper wall of your vagina. If it is difficult for him to locate the exact spot, let him kiss you, caress your nipples or feel the external area of your vagina. The more stimulated you feel, the more conspicuous your g-spot will become and it will be easier to find.

It is a good idea to place some pillows beneath your lower back and spread your legs wider, this will open up your vagina and provide him with more access inside you, says Dr. Danielle Harel. When he hits the spot, guide him to gently manipulate it in delicious, slow circles. Caresses can differ; they may be in the form of number 8’s or a speedy sequence of pulsating movements. The G withstands pressure; you may need to tell him to massage it more firmly.

A g-spot technique that he should try on you is the tapping method. “With the tip of his finger, have him repeatedly tap your g-spot firmly”, advises Harel. She explains that there is a natural reason as to why this creates a sensational feeling. “The most powerful moments of physical touch on any part of the body are typically during the initial seconds. When he taps you, it feels as if he is touching you there for the very first time repeatedly and this causes an accumulation of feelings that can lead to a memorable orgasm.

Sexual Positions that Heighten G-spot Pleasure

You on top of him is a guaranteed g-spot conqueror. When you face your partner while leaning backwards at an angle, this allows his penis to lie against the higher wall of your vagina. Even the most minor thrusts will mean that he will automatically rub against your g-spot. Another advantage of this position is that you can control how deep and how fast he will thrust, which will make it easier for you to regulate the way your partner’s penis strokes your g-spot.

The doggie style move also gives your lover easy contact with your sweet spot. If you lie on your belly and keep your legs slightly apart, the walls of the vagina will be compressed and this will make it virtually unavoidable for your lover’s penis to evade your g-spot.

Do not disregard the possibilities of the missionary position. Try out this different version by lying on your back. Bend your knees, with your feet flat on the floor or any other surface. Use a couple of pillows under your lower back to facilitate a raised pelvis. Your lover is required to sit up and penetrate with upward angle thrusts. This will bring his penis into contact with your vagina’s upper wall.

A Vital Trick to Guarantee G-Spot Ecstasy

The bedroom trick that involves the g-spot with legendary success is known as the blended climax. For a wall shattering climax, the g-spot is stimulated while either your lover or you fiddle around with the clitoris. This serves to give you a double dose of pleasure in the form of an orgasm. “The clitoral nerves are located very near your g-spot and when the two parts are touched simultaneously, the climax is intense,” explains Hirschman.

A Blended O can be experienced during a foreplay session when your partner rubs your clitoris using his fingers and he uses two other fingers to caress your g-spot. “As the feeling of excitement increases, your pelvis should rise in a motion that allows you to thrust against his entire hand”, says Hirschman. She also suggests an oral move that involves him gently yet firmly licking your clitoris while massaging your sweet spot.

To enjoy a combined orgasm during sexual intercourse, the woman-on-top position is the most effective. Harel explains that you should angle your body and let his penis rub against the gspot while you hold up your body with your hands, preferably on a hard surface. In the meantime, your lover should actively touch your clitoris.

Another blended orgasm variation is the doggie style position where you kneel low with the support of your forearms. Raise your pelvis off the floor, table or bed to allow either of you to have easy contact with your c-spot. Increase the sensation by asking your lover to thrust slightly before ordering him to let go so that either of you can take over your clitoral stimulation. Order him (politely of course!) to start again while you gently flick your clit with your fingers.

When you feel like you can’t endure much more, let him caress you both outside and inside until you are ready to climax. Harel says this is a good move because the two of you participate in helping you to reach a combi climax orgasm. Aside from the intense physical pleasure, the emotional connection is powerful.

How to Maximize the Force of Your G-Spot Orgasms

To reach g-spot bliss, you will need to practice and continually stimulate it as well as make it a part of your sexual activity.

Aside from increasing the amount of sexual activity, you can intensify the pleasure by carrying out Kegel exercises. These involve the contraction of your pelvic muscles, just like you would if you attempt to stop urine from flowing out. Hirschman says that Kegels strengthen vaginal muscles and provide a strengthened grip during sex and this increases the pressure on your G.

This is how you do the Kegel exercises: focus on the pelvic muscle that controls your urine flow. Squeeze as tightly as possible, hold the position for a few seconds and let go. Repeat this 10 times, several times during the day. These exercises are convenient and you can do them virtually anywhere. Do them when you’re caught up in traffic, during a shower or even as you sit behind your desk. Repeated Kegels on a daily basis will increase the sensitivity of your g-spot.

Foreplay 101 for HIM

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When it comes to foreplay, most articles out there are on foreplay tips for the benefit of women. However, you should know that if you treat your boyfriend/husband/lover to some great foreplay tricks of your own, you’ll be a sex goddess in his eyes because his orgasm will be extremely more powerful than before!

So, the next time you guys have sex, don’t be one of the women out there who ‘nag’ they don’t get enough foreplay. Instead, surprise him with pre-play moves that will make him treat you like a sex queen.

Foreplay Tip #1: Peak-a-Boo

Men are such visual creatures. Show them a nude photo, and blood gushes to their member. Hmmm, so what about presenting him with not just a nude photo of yourself but simply you, 100% nude.

How best to do it: Let us count the ways… try any of the tips below.

  • Just as he’s nice and comfy in bed, walk into the room in your birthday suit. (By the way, make sure your nipples are erect when you do this. Instant hard on!)
  • While fooling around in bed, straddle him and then slowly but surely, take off pieces of your clothing. You can torture him further by say, removing your bra, giving a glimpse of your nipples and then covering yourself up again. Agony!
  • Give him something to REALLY look at. Why settle for WALKING around naked when you can bend, twist, and turn yourself in various ways that he won’t believe what he’s seeing even if you’re right in front of him.

For the last tip be sure he gets to see everything but won’t be able to touch. Feed his eyes and maybe even his sense of smell… but don’t let him touch you. At least, not until he begs for it.

Foreplay Tip #2: Breathe On It

I bet you didn’t know how sexy and arousing your very own steamy breath on his exposed skin can be. The reason behind this is that your warm breathe will cause a temperature change on his skin, which in turn increases sexual arousal.

How best to do it: Engage in foreplay. When he’s already warm and aroused, go down and position your slightly parted lips to a sensitive area of his body such as his inner thighs, belly button, or the side of his neck, and then exhale your warm breathe on that spot.

You can also try the link-and-breathe approach. For example, lick the side of his neck and then exhale lightly on it. (Personally, my boyfriend loves it when I lick his lips and then exhale on it.) Another thing to try this trick on: lick his nipples and blow on it!

Now, go down and with his erect manhood standing mighty proud in front of your face, blow a steady jet of warm breath on his penis from top to bottom. Mind-blowing!

Foreplay Tip #3: Hustle!

Ok, so by now you know that both men and women will benefit greatly with a lot of foreplay. However, there is a difference; while women tend to go for slow seduction foreplay techniques; men tend to want more vigorous pre-play sessions.

I guess this is because most men tend to look at women as the ‘shy’ or ‘less animalistic’ one in bed. As such, if you unleash a more ‘raw’ you in bed, your man will be turned on all the more by this new, slightly more sexually aggressive you. You see, men take female aggressiveness in bed as assign of pure lust, which further fuels their desire. Besides, it’s A LOT of fun to be the one in control in bed every now and then, right?

How best to do it: Tonight, don’t be the timid one. Be the one to approach him and initiate sex. Be the one to kiss him roughly. And last, but definitely not the least, be the one to command what sex positions you guys should engage in.

For example, if he’s angling to go down on you, change sex positions and go down on him instead! OR maneuver in bed in such a way that he doesn’t go down on you but you sit on his face instead. Further, if he’s angling for the missionary, go ahead and beat him to it by going woman-on-top. And don’t just do the usual woman-on-top (where you face him), do reverse cow-girl where you face his feet.

I guarantee he won’t know what hit him in bed… but he’ll like it!

Foreplay Tip # 4: Tantalizing Touch

True, all men desire to have your lovely hands on their members but your lover can also receive a few other types of touches not just down there but all over his body. You see, men require a lot of hands-on stimulation and it should not necessarily all be focused on his penis.

How best to do it: Tonight, mix up your touchy feely moves. Flatten your palms and grope him all over. The warmth of your palms should make him feel warm all over too. Feel free to grab him too. For instance, run your palms all over his chest, reach down, reach back, and then grab a handful of his buttocks!

When he’s already undressed, run your palms slightly roughly across his chest and then very gently caress his erect nipples with your flat palms. The rough and then gentle approach will surely drive him wild!

You can also opt to need his back with long hand strokes or graze his sides gently with your fingernails. Mix up the sensations and he’ll be sexually dazzled he won’t know what to expect.

Foreplay Tip # 5: Push Him to the Brink

Nothing can be more sexually mind-blowing than ALMOST reaching a climax, ebbing, and then being brought up to that ‘almost there’ high again. Yes, tease your man tonight until he literally begs you for release.

How best to do it: Show him how romantic you are by drawing an imaginary heart shape over his groin with your lips! Trace the outline of his groin slowly by planting kisses and/or using your tongue. This will make him focus and pay sole attention to his groin. Now, perform fellatio. Just when you sense he’s nearing his release… let go of his member and go back to your lazy heart shape drawing again!

To up the ante, ride him for all you’re worth. And just when he – or you! – are about to come, let go and engage in some hot, passionate kissing. Then go back up on that horse again for the next round!

For Added Pre-Play Pleasure, Try These Toys

Following is a list of unusual sexual stimulants that you may want to try too to add more fun to your foreplay.

Snapshots. Let him play with is camera and snap a picture of you… naked… while on top of him.

Wigs. Walk into the bedroom with nothing on but a completely different wig. He’ll think you’re somebody else… and you get to be somebody else in bed too.

Stockings. Bondage sounds such a harsh word. Tonight, wear a sheer body suit and as he peels it off your body, whisper something like “honey, why don’t you tie my hands and show me who’s my daddy?”.

RED, very red lipstick. I know what you’re thinking, draw lazy circles and cute heart shapes all over his body, right? You can do that… OR write down dirty words all over his body. I bet your man prefers the latter!

For Ladies Only: Can’t Reach Orgasm? Here’s A Secret…

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It’s estimated that about 10% of women have never experienced the joys of reaching a climax. And it doesn’t matter what type of ‘lovemaking’ they engage in. Whether it’s with a partner or via masturbation, some women simply cannot seem to find the road to the Big O.

This has led countless women to seek sex counseling and in my practice, I’ve had the opportunity to share what some ‘secrets’ that have helped countless women get out of that 10% statistic.

The secret is actually all about tension and relaxation. It may sound like an oxymoron now but read on below to know more!

The Road To Climax Tip #1: Tense Those Muscles

On one hand, you can’t help but tense up during intercourse right? After all, all that stimulation gets the blood flowing, which in turn heightens sexual arousal. The problem is some women tend to relax the muscles or tissues that contract while making love. Why?

For one, some women tend to be passive in bed. But let me assure you the days of ‘lying there and receiving it’ are over. If you want an orgasm, you better get up there and participate! And yes, tense your muscles while you’re at it.

For example, while in the woman on top position, squeeze your pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles). These are the same muscles you use when you try to stop the flow of your pee. By contracting these muscles, not only are you giving your man pleasure by gripping his penis, you are also increasing the friction between your genitals, thereby increasing sexual pleasure (which is supposed to push to you a wonderful climax).

The Road To Climax Tip #2: Relax Your Mind

The relaxation part comes in the form of letting go of your thoughts. We women can be so BUSY up there! Seriously, do you really have to make a mental note that you need to pick up something from the dry cleaners tomorrow while riding him now?!?

So free your mind, relax, and just let the erotic pleasures that sex bring you wash over you.

If relaxing is hard for you, take cue from the silent radio technique that’s employed a lot in area where people have to fall in line. Notice that electronic billboard that shows snippets of news from left to right? It draws your attention to it doesn’t it?

So, next time you make love, plaster that electronic billboard in your mind with sentences like “omg… his penis is REALLY hitting it now!” or “here it comes, here it comes, here it comes!”. By focusing your thoughts on the pleasures that are ravaging over your body, you’ll hopefully be able to finally experience a climax.

Rmember, to reach the Big O, tense your muscles but relax your mind. Doesn’t sound like an oxymoron at all, does it?