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4 Reasons Why Female Orgasms Are So Hard To Achieve

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There seems to be a conspiracy. Men want women to climax, women want to climax. So why is that, according to studies, about 70% of women never reach an orgasm during intercourse?

We can of course focus on other methods women can orgasm (e.g., oral sex, fingering, etc.) but even those may not be enough to giver her an orgasm if she has negative sexual issues with herself.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #1: Shyness

One of the main things that prohibit women to let go between the sheets is good ol’ fashioned shyness. If this is what’s stopping your woman from reaching an orgasm, then there plenty enough ways to help her out.

For one, dim the lights or turn them off if that’s what she prefers. Many women have body and weight issues so the harsh reality of being naked in front of you will not only make her uncomfortable but make her mind focus on the wrong things (i.e., how she looks versus the pleasures her body’s getting).

Another way you can help her out is by actually encouraging her to keep her top on. Tell her how you like seeing her nipples hard and straining against her shirt or lingerie. This will make her think she’s doing you a favor by not removing her top, and help her be less self-conscious at the same time.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #2: Performance Issues

She knows she’s not your first and sometimes, this thought gives rise to nagging performance issues between the sheets. How does she compare to all your other love interests? Well, put her fears to rest and make her focus on reaching her own orgasm by compliment her or whispering her name often while making love.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #3: Physical Pain

Not everything you read or see in X-rated films is what they’re made out to be. A seemingly hot sexual position may actually be causing her a physical discomfort and may not be sexually stimulating at all.

So pay attention to how she REALLY reacts when you try out new moves in bed. If sexual position is not the cause of any physical discomfort she feels, a visit to a doctor may be necessary.

Female Orgasm Difficulty #4: Past Negative Experiences

A bad experience with a former flame may also be inhibiting your woman to let go and enjoy the pleasures of sex with you. For instance, one woman had a former boyfriend confess to her that she smelled funny down there.

This bothered the woman so much that long after the boyfriend had gone, she has never allowed anyone to perform oral sex on her again. Worse, she was so focused on this ‘bad thing’ that sex altogether became unpleasant and she was starting to wonder if she was frigid.

If you notice anything like this with your woman, discuss it while re-assuring her all the while that you do like making love to her and that all you want to do is make her experience the same physical pleasures you’re experiencing. It’s worth the shot!

3 Mistakes Men Make That Causes Women To NOT Have Sex With Them Ever Again!

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So you thought it went really well. You lavished her attention and ensured she reached her climax first before you did. So why doesn’t she want to ‘hook up’ with you again? Chances are, you committed one of the three mistakes that most men do after having sex.

While men are often only concerned about what occurs DURING sex, women are bit more complicated; they also put attention (A LOT of attention) on what occurs after sex.

If you’ve never really picked up on this before, then chances are you’ve committed one of the following mistakes.

After-Sex Mistake #1: Rolling over after reaching an orgasm and going to sleep.

You may think that this is ‘natural.’ After all, didn’t you just have a long day at work and didn’t you just cater to fulfilling her sexual needs first before yours? But to your partner, dozing off right away means only one thing: insensitivity.

In fact, most women will think this way, “now that he’s had his way with me, he’s done and just wants to sleep!”.

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really sleepy after sex? Simply snuggle up to her and cuddle up a bit. You can stroke her hair too. (Better actually, as this may make HER sleepy!).

After-Sex Mistake #2: Jumping out of bed and doing something else.

If sleeping immediately after sex shows you’re insensitive, jumping out of bed and putting all your attention into doing something else (e.g., work!) means you’re a real jerk to her.

For yourself, you may just feel so energized after cumming that you want to do other things, but to her jumping out of bed right after sex indicates that the time you two had was irrelevant. It wasn’t lovemaking; it was just sex.

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really NEED to do something? Just stay a bit longer in bed. A couple more minutes surely won’t kill you! You can simply embrace her and be quiet, or cuddle and (for me the better option) start to slowly mention that darn! you forgot to do something and now you have to get up now and do it. Do this grudgingly!

After-Sex Mistake #3: Reaching for the remote, turning on the TV, and forgetting she’s beside you.

You can’t fake intimacy. Does this mean you can’t ever turn on the TV after having sex? Of course not! In fact, SHE may even want to catch something on TV herself.

But the thing is, don’t break contact. You can just as easily reach for the remote while ensuring that you’re still embracing her, right? Further, a simple question of “do you mind?” can go a long way than simply ignoring her and watching TV!

Just don’t forget to include her. Ask her if she wants to see something too or ask for her comment on what you’re watching. Anything that signifies you haven’t forgotten that she’s beside you is good.

Great Sex Begins With A Sensual Massage

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With today’s hectic and fast-paced world, it’s not a surprise that a lot of people don’t have great sex.

Everyone’s just too tired!

So how do you ensure that you and your partner are on your way to great sex without being discouraged by ‘all the work’ that lay ahead to ensure it? Indulge in a sexual massage.

A Sexual Massage Paves the Way for Great Sex

A sexual massage puts you and your partner in the perfect mood for a long night of great sex. Think about it. You’re not just jumping on each other, and subconsciously telling yourselves to ‘hurry up’ and get it over with.

A sexual massage actually tells your mind and body to RELAX; but because it’s a sexual massage, you can bet sexual tension will be there, making for a night of great sex after all!

Bathroom or bedroom?

Decide if you want to carry out the sexual massage while having a long, luxurious, warm soak in the tub or in your bedroom. Either way, just make sure you have the ambiance right.

In the bathroom, make sure candles are lighted and scent oils are burning.If you’re joining your partner in the tub, make sure everything is within your reach. And if you’re planning a long session, a bottle of wine and a few food items (cheese, crackers, etc.) are fine too.

If you’re having the sexual massage in the bedroom, then make sure you’ve cleaned the room and allotted a space for the massage. If you’re worried about staining your bed sheets, you can put another type of fabric over your bed. You can also just put thick blankets and throw a couple of pillows on the floor. Candles, music and scented oils should complete the look.

How To Give A Sexual Massage

Use your fingertips

Here’s a sexual massage technique using your fingertips: straddle your partner’s thighs. Rub warm massage oil on your hands and massage your partner’s back with long, soothing strokes. Don’t put your hand flat on his/her back. Just use your fingertips and ‘rake’ his/her back.  Alternate your strokes. Apply hard pressure, and then light ones.

Use your palms

Without skipping a beat, massage his/her back using the whole width of your hand. This firmer technique helps the body relax. Remember to NOT massage ‘bony areas’. Place the palms of both your hands on his/her back and move them in circles, firmly outward and away from her spine.

Use your hot breath

Now it’s time to up the sexual tension in the room. Put some warm massage oil on your upper body. Put your arms on either side of your partner’s body (he/she should be lying face down) and then slowly lower yourself till your covering his/her body. Try to envelope his/her body as much as possible with yours. Now start to glide your body over his/hers… and if you get carried away now and proceed to having a long night of great sex, then so be it!

Is Your Woman Faking Her Orgasms?

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Ever seen a porno film? Of course you have! And did you really think that all those ‘climaxes’ were for REAL? Of course not. Many of them were for REEL.

So how can YOU tell the difference if your woman starts to fake her orgasms with you too?

How to Spot a Fake Orgasm

Many men don’t want to admit it, but just because she ‘screams’ doesn’t mean she’s reached her sexual climax. According to studies, 70% to 75% of women don’t reach an orgasm during sexual intercourse. This means if you’re woman has been shouting, kicking and screaming all the time, there’s a 70% to 75% chance she’ been faking an orgasm with you!

Here are some tips to tell if she is ‘faking it’.

She’s too loud

Is she too ‘loud’? Thanks to adult or x-rated movies, we now have this image that if a woman is ‘cumming’ she should be shouting from the top of her lungs (can’t contain the sexual pleasure you know).

Again, this is really just all for ‘show’. Most women who DO experience orgasms say that they are actually not noisy at all. They would rather ‘feel’ the intenseness of cumming rather than to drown it with their own loud voices.

Body language

How is her body reacting? Your woman may be shouting till your neighbors hear her, but is her body displaying the same intense emotions? Her body is not THAT different from yours when YOU reach your climax. As such, her body should also be ‘contracting’ like yours.

For instance, her anus and vagina should be clenching or contracting when she reaches an orgasm. If you’re having sexual intercourse and she’s indicating that she’s cumming, check if you feel a certain ‘tightness’ around your penis.

Why? Because during a real orgasm, a woman’s vagina should be clenching strongly at around 1 contraction every 0.8 seconds. And ‘faking’ this pace is quite difficult to master.

Also, check her skin, is she flushed from all that release of sexual tension? If not, she may be faking it.

How about her eyes? Are her pupils a bit dilated and have that certain glassy sheen? If not and her face registers a ‘blank’, then she’ probably just faked an orgasm.

Do I really want to know?

You may be wondering why you would want to know if she’s faking her orgasms anyway, right? Well, let’s put it this way. Would YOU be interested in sex if you never reached an orgasm? Probably not! What does that spell for your relationship in the future?

So knowing if she’s faking it will enable you to take the necessary steps to make making love better for her. And as you know a sexually satisfied woman, can be verrrrry grateful in bed.

It’s a win-win situation!

How to Induce Sexual Desire In Your Bedroom

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Picture this: you guys are so into each other that you can’t wait any longer to make love.

You start ripping each other’s clothes off and proceed to the bedroom. Once you get there, somebody steps on a gadget left on the floor causing pain.

You move on but the open window is bringing in all the noise from outside and a strange smell from the nearby garbage dump. You both still try to proceed with sex but the bed hasn’t actually been made that morning and it’s smelling a bit in addition to having cookie crumbs all over it.

You both decide to try again… sometime.

What a bummer! If only you had time to prepare your bedroom for lovemaking! Well read on, following are tips that are GUARANTEED to up sexual desire in your bedroom.

How to Make Your Bedroom Hot, Sexy and Ready for Love… Anytime!

Lighting is everything.

Bright yellow lights or glaring white fluorescent lights contribute nothing to sexual desire in the bedroom. What you need are room lights that can be dimmed or a simple bedside lamp that can be dimmed. Better yet, go for scented candles ready for lighting at a moment’s notice!

Music – and Love – is in the air.

You must have some form of music player in your room right? Make sure that you have a couple of tracks that simply shout LOVE in the air. A couple of Barry White (Michael Buble for the younger crowd) CD’s never hurt. It really depends on what you and she are into in terms of music genres. Some couples like opera music (you know, the crescendos make great backdrops to orgasms!), while other’s prefer a 1980s collection of love songs.

The smell of love…

At this point, we’ll go a bit beyond the scented candles and/or burning scented oils. Try to ‘train’ her to associate a certain smell with lovemaking. The trick here is to condition her brain to think of sex every time she smells a particular smell.

For example, on the first night you plan to engage in foreplay, give her a bunch of red roses (or any flower you know she likes). This way, she thinks of making out every time she smells red roses.

Now, on the first night you plan to engage in sex, make sure red rose petals are scattered on the bed or a fresh bouquet of red roses is in the bedroom. Again, the goal is to make her ALWAYS associate a specific scent to you and your lovemaking sessions!

Action speaks louder than words.

Keep in mind that no trick beats a previously sexually pleasurable or great experience with you. Say that you guys made love a week ago at some other location and you saw to it that she climaxed BEFORE you did, she’ll remember this and you can be sure that this time – in your own bedroom – she’ll be showing you just how grateful she is!