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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

How To Lick The Clitoris The RIGHT Way

By loveandsex

Oral sex on a woman can be tricky, because the clitoris is just so sensitive. Use these simple but effective techniques to lick your girl into an orgasm frenzy!

Why You’re Probably Licking Her Clitoris The WRONG Way

Most women respond well to clitoral stimulation outside the clitoral hood. The clitoris is often much too sensitive to handle direct stimulation. Many guys, however, go gung ho right on her clitoris itself, which can be really uncomfortable!

An outside approach works best – after all, the protection of the clitoral head is exactly what the hood was designed to do. There’s no need to go digging around underneath the clitoral hood with your tongue to find the head – this will only cause extreme discomfort and in some cases, even pain.

Don’t forget, however, that you must also develop a rhythm and keep it, especially close to orgasm. Keeping that in mind, let’s go over some of the correct tongue techniques in more detail.

We cover these tequniques in detail here: The Big Black Book Of Sex Positions

Sweeping Your Tongue Across The Clitoris

This move is great! It simply feels wonderful to a woman and should be a staple of any oral sex routine. It is a fairly easy move – position your tongue on either the right or left side of the clitoris and move from side to side as though you were sweeping a floor.

Clitoral Circles

This too is one of the best and most pleasurable clitoral techniques in cunnilingus. You’ll want to use this one a lot, because it can rarely get boring! The technique is somewhat self-explanatory – again, you’ll position your tongue either to the left or right of your partner’s clitoris. You will begin to move your tongue in circles, either in a clockwise or counter-clockwise motion.

This feels excellent when your partner is fairly aroused because it gives the clitoris plenty of stimulation outside the hood where it is well-received, but once your tongue gets to the 6:00 position on the “clock,” she will get a lovely preview of your tongue on her sensitive clitoral head – but not so much that it is uncomfortable.

Light Suction On The Clitoris

This is a move that is best performed when your partner is sufficiently aroused. Suction too early in the game may turn her off completely by putting too much pressure on her sensitive parts too soon.

You’ll want to take her clitoris gently into your mouth and lightly suck on it – much as though you were drinking from a straw. Remember; don’t get too rough with this move! This can be easy to do, so it is very important that you pay attention to your partner’s cues and movements. If she seems to be shrinking away before her orgasm, lighten up on the suction or discontinue sucking at all.

Remember Your ABC’s

You might have heard of this oral sex technique before, but then again, you might have not. This may quite possibly be the best technique out there, so listen up!

It may sound funny, but you’ll once again position your tongue (a pointed one works best here) either to the side or at the top of her clitoris and begin using your tongue to draw your ABC’s. Yes, you heard right.

This gives your partner a clitoral sensation similar to that of the circular stroke (most of the movement is performed outside of the clitoral hood while just a few strokes end up contacting the clitoral head itself) and simply feels divine to your partner. But wait a second!

If the sensations are really all that similar to the circular strokes, why even do the ABC strokes at all? Well, there’s the money question. The ABC stroke is as powerful as it is because it gives just the right amount of contact to both the clitoral hood and the clitoral head while mixing things up. You get the best of all the worlds – perfect contact, an excellent rhythm but here’s the rub – no two strokes are exactly the same. The different letters that you’ll be tracing with your tongue allow for enough variation to keep your partner guessing and on the edge – of orgasm! Very few men with sufficiently warmed up partners have made it all the way to the letter Z.

The Messy Eater

This is a tricky one, although it may not sound like it at first.

Basically, this move encompasses all the other techniques (such as tongue circles or gentle vacuum suction) but in somewhat of a “smorgasbord” fashion. You’ll want to use an oral sex position where you cradle both legs in your arms (her thigh will be in the crease of your elbow and your hands should come up around and rest on her hip bones) and…well, dig in!

This is a move where attitude really pays off – you’ve got to act like you’re hungry and you just can’t get enough of it. On the same token, however, you’ve still got to keep in mind that the clitoris is very sensitive and although you may be going at it like you’re at a pie-eating contest, you don’t want to go caveman on her and rough her up. Keeping a balance between the two is really what makes this move worthwhile.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, female orgasm, have better sex, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

Wildfire Erotic Massage Oil – And You Thought Sex Was Good Before…

By loveandsex

I recently was introduced to Wildfire Erotic Massage Oils. They make all-natural intimacy products, and I was lucky enough to get to try them! I got the “All My Love” Gift pack with the Wildfire All Over Pleasure Oil. They offer three scent variations of this oil:

  • The Orginal All Over Pleasure Oil
  • Black
  • Enhance Her

Powerful aphrodisiacs from around the world infuse these Australian-made erotic massage oils – which you can smell as soon as you open the bottles. Seriously, they smell AMAZING!

Wildfire All Over Pleasure Oils claim the following four uses:

  1. Sensual Lubricant
  2. Intimate Body Massage Oil
  3. Nourishing Body Moisturizer
  4. Luxurious Bath Oil – Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love a mid-afternoon bath and a glass of wine!

At first, I was skeptical. How could one little bottle of oil work in so many ways? Plus, I’m not typically into the smell of natural, vegan products. They would usually smell relaxing to me, but not exactly sexy…

So how did these oils perform at the four different uses? In a word, impressively.

The Good

Firstly, all the oils are olive oil-based. They perform surprisingly proficiently at all four functions. Second, only to the bath, my favorite use of this magic elixir is as a massage oil. Even after the most stressful day, a whiff of one of these babies plus some sensual rubbing wipes everything away and immediately gets both of us going.

It’s a simple transition going from sexy massage oil to lubricant once things get heated up. Effective and long-lasting, these oils are some of the best lubricants I’ve have tried.

Baths are my ultimate stress relief. Since being introduced to Wildfire erotic massage oils, my mid-afternoon baths are now sprinkled with the pleasure oils, too. Some of the residues stay on your body afterward, leaving a subtly sexy scent.

If the bath residue isn’t enough, I rub some more of my favorite scented pleasure oil on afterward. It relaxes me and guarantees some cheeky behavior from my man immediately afterward. Plus, it keeps my skin really well hydrated.

Okay – onto the stuff that makes each of these products so special and sensual. As mentioned, all of them are olive oil-based, but the added aphrodisiacs and essential oils make each one exquisite and unique in their own way.

The Orginal All Over Pleasure Oil

Wildfire Massage Oil - Original
Wildfire ORIGINAL is packed with erectile and libido herbs that enhance your performance and longevity in the bedroom.

I’m pretty happy with myself for sticking to the logic that the namesake product would be the best – and I was right. The Original All Over Pleasure Oil works well at all functions as mentioned above, but I like it best as a lubricant and for when he works his massage magic on me.

It’s got ylang-ylang, and jojoba oils in the base which are incredibly heady and sensuous scents. The addition of Muira Puama, Horny Goat Weed (yep, that’s its name) and Tribulus – all naturally occurring aphrodisiacs – do something to us. Literally within a matter of seconds, we’re both turned on and rearing to go.


Black

Wildfire Massage Oil - Black
With vivid new fragrances and newly discovered herbs, Wildfire Black will ignite your passion like never before

When we’re looking for something a little more intense, we go Black. My guy appreciates the intoxicating scents, and it’s his request for a massage oil every time. Jojoba and Brazilian Ginseng give it an earthy aroma – something I would usually find off-putting, but the proportions of scent in the oil seem right. Also featuring Muira Puama and Horny Goat Weed, the Black potion adds powerful Ginkgo Biloba aphrodisiac plus damiana, more ginseng, and patchouli.

This oil is intense. But sometimes intense is what we need. 😉


Enhance Her

Wildfire Massage Oil - Enhance Her
Wildfire Enhance Her is specifically formulated to increase a woman’s pleasure and help her escape into a world of new sensations with exotic feminine fragrances and textures.

This oil was made for women. I mean, the name is ‘Enhance Her’ and claimed to be specifically formulated for female arousal but, little old skeptical me still had my doubts. I bathe in this oil and lather it on my body regularly – and I’m still not over it (a rarity, for me!). Now, although it’s for women, when I wear this as a moisturizer or fresh out of the bath, hubby cannot keep his hands off me. That’s because it’s got the same olive oil, jojoba and added aphrodisiacs as the other oils, which are now familiar to us, but has the added floral sweetness of Marigold, chaste tree berry and wild yam.


The Bad

Massage Oil And Condoms
Never use oil with latex condoms. The oil can actually break down the latex and cause the condom to fail. :/

The All Over Pleasure Oils are oil-based, which means they are not safe for use on latex condoms. For committed relationships or those riding solo, these oils will become your new bedroom besties. And remember – even if you do use condoms, you can still try out three other unique uses that guarantee to get you going. The oil-base also means your bathtub may need a scrub after use as a bath oil!

The Bottom Line

These oils blew my expectations away. Next time, I will be purchasing the full-sized bottle of each oil :). My recommendation if you don’t want to shell out the cash for all three, then go for the Original All Over Pleasure Oil. It has all the crucial ingredients and effects of the other oils but keeps it simple and sexy at the same time. It’s rare that we find a product (even perfume or cologne, for Pete’s sake!) that we both find appealing – but the Wildfire Original seems to be that product.

Next, we’ll be testing out their Arousal Oils, Edible Body Butters and Mood Mists so stay tuned!

Filed Under: Lotions & Potions, Lubricants

Top 10 Sex Positions For Deep Penetration

By loveandsex

Here are our Top 10 Sex Positions for Deep Penetration.

#1 – Viennese Oyster Sex Position

The Viennese Oyster sex position is deliciously naughty, although it is difficult to master for most women. However, if you can, the rewards are great! how to do it…

#2 – Piston Sex Position

The Piston sex position is a great standing position for athletic couples and affords for super deep and exotic penetration. It’s definitely a must try! how to do it…

#3 – Laptop Sex Position

The Laptop sex position is an interesting variation on the Assisted Lotus, and although it looks difficult, it’s really not. It’s definitely a must try! how to do it…

#4 – Ben Dover Sex Position

The Ben Dover sex position lives up to its name! She bends over and he has her way with her, creating deep penetration in a standing sex position.  how to do it…

#5 – Over The Desk Sex Position

The Over The Desk Sex Position is a kinky variation Standing Doggy. The variation is that the female partner is bent over a desk or table and gently held down to introduce some light bondage into the position. how to do it…

#6 – Cradle Sex Position

The Cradle is definitely considered an “exotic” sex position, and it can be a little difficult to master, but is highly rewarding if you do. how to do it…

#7 – Bridge Sex Position

Guys will love the show a woman gives him when she bends over backward in the Bridge sex position. It’s a fairly difficult position to master, and can be hard on a woman, but definitely worth a try. how to do it…

#8 – Drill Sex Position

Feel every inch of your partner during sex with the intimate but still naughty Drill sex position! It’s a sexy twist on standard Missionary and allows for super deep penetration. how to do it…

#9 – Shoulder Holder Sex Position

Get the deepest possible penetration and awesome g-spot stimulation with the Shoulder Holder sex position! You really can’t get any deeper than this, and the stimulation feels great for both partners. how to do it…

#10 – Deck Chair Sex Position

The Deck Chair sex position is a deep penetration twist on Missionary that both partners will really enjoy! It’s simple to do, but deeply satisfying for both partners. how to do it…

Filed Under: Best Sex Positions For...

3 Things All Men Need To Know About The Female Orgasm

By loveandsex

Fortunately for women, gone are the days when it is commonplace for them to have sex and not reach an orgasm. As sex experts have started delving deeper into female sexuality, there has been more awareness about what female orgasm is all about.

Today, women reach orgasms as often as men ejaculate – and they’re even luckier in the sense that they are capable of achieving multiple orgasms.

A Quick Look At What Happens When A Woman Reaches Orgasm

First, let us take a look at exactly what happens when a woman reaches an orgasm. This, of course, is entirely for a man’s perspective. Just imagine what happens to your body as you ejaculate. There’s basically a tightening in your balls and an almost liquid feeling climbing up your spine when you’re close to coming. This sexual experience is very similar to what a woman goes through during a female orgasm.

For a woman, reaching orgasm involves a sensation like no other, wherein excitement slowly builds up until such a point that her vagina ‘surges’ and contracts almost every second. That throb of pleasure that you feel once you ejaculate is similar to the feeling of a woman reaching an orgasm – minus the production of fluid.

And you’ll be glad to know that some women are capable of reaching multiple orgasm if they so desire and if you’re that good of a lover. So it’s perfectly fine to ‘tune her up’ first by letting her reach an orgasm through oral sex first – and then joining in on the action as you penetrate her later on. At that point, she’ll be primed and ready again for her second, third or even fourth orgasm!

Myths About Female Orgasm

Despite being in sexually liberated times, there are still myths about female orgasm which persist until today.

First, there’s the myth that there is something wrong with a woman if she cannot have an earth-shattering orgasm. This is not true at all, because most women have orgasms without them being aware of it. In every sexual contact, they will reach a peak of arousal which is the same as having the feeling of reaching orgasm.

Another persistent myth is that ‘normal’ women can reach orgasm during intercourse. However, a large percentage of the female population cannot reach female orgasm this way. Instead, they can achieve it through a combination of intercourse and oral stimulation – or even by oral stimulation alone.

3 Things That Men Need To Know About Female Orgasm

Now, here are the three things that every man should know about female orgasm:

1. If it takes men two to five minutes of direct stimulation to have an orgasm, the average female needs about 20 minutes of direct stimulation.

So the moral of the story is that you should be patient, prime her up and try to hold off your own pleasure for as long as you can. This is especially true for women who have problems producing natural lubrication. If you want to reach the point of no return together, giver her at least a 20-minute head start.

2. Women also experience the equivalent of ‘blue balls’.

You already know what blue balls mean – but you probably didn’t know that women experience an equivalent of this, too. Once she gets extremely turned on, the clitoris becomes engorged with blood. If this is not released through an orgasm, she will experience the same level of discomfort that you feel in your penis once your sexual tension isn’t released.

So when you’re going down on her, for example, help build up the tension through stimulation so that she will reach that explosion of release – which is already the female orgasm.

3. Aside from the obvious perks of reaching a female orgasm, there are also health benefits which are in it for them.

Let’s say that women needed another reason for reaching an orgasm besides its being extremely pleasurable. Its health benefits include being less sensitive to pain, relief in menstrual cramps and it also alleviates stress.

There you have it – the top three female orgasm facts that men need to know about. So what are you waiting for? Sharpen your sexual techniques now so that you can give that special woman in your life a female orgasm that she’s not bound to forget!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips

Women: How To Have More Orgasms

By loveandsex

It’s a fact; women tend to need more time to reach orgasm.

During the few times you’ve managed to reach a climax with your lover, it felt GREAT, right?

So why not apply a few tactics to guarantee the process to bliss? How? Easy. Just learn MORE regarding your own body. The more you know about what makes you tic sexually, the sooner your climax will be. I asked a few sexuality experts to help us out and following are their wonderful tips. Try them all and figure out which one works best for you. Who knows, they may ALL work for you.

Self-Pleasuring 101

Firstly, engage a little ALONE time naked. As you stimulate yourself, concentrate to the state of your mind and how your body reacts up until you reach your climax. Later, when you are with your man, try to re-create these moves.

It’s also imperative to develop an exciting mood. The idea is to establish a scenario that supports a very sexy mindset. For example, sure, you may know what ‘moves’ to apply to induce orgasm but if you open your eyes and see clutter all around, that will zap your sexual mood. Try soft pillows, scented candles, and soft, romantic music. Find out what ambiance works for you and go about ‘staging it’.

Create A Mental Sex Picture

When it comes to sex, men are visual creatures, whereas females are more mental ones. To put it in simple terms, we women like to be ‘sexed up’ up down there before he even makes a move. So to help you reach your orgasm sooner during sex, think of all the hot and sexy things he’s going to do to you (or that you want him to do) tonight. Paint a sexy mental picture and you’ll find that you will be twice more excited as he actually goes about doing the deed.

If visualization is not enough, don’t be afraid to engage in a little self-pleasuring. However, you should NOT reach a climax. Just make things hot – but not too hot – for yourself. When you make love with your partner, your body will instinctively start from where you left off earlier, making orgasm within easy reach.

Sure-Fire Orgasmic Sexual Positions

Females have two major sexual key points: the clitoris and the G-spot. The G-spot, or the Grafenberg spot, is located about 2-3 inches up the front of your vaginal wall. And one of the best ways to locate this spot is to insert your (or his!) index and middle fingers, palm up, inside you and search for a slight bump (like the clitoris, the G-Spot gets engorged when stimulated). So it makes sense that the straight road to orgasm is to stimulate both these sex zones simultaneously!

For instant stimulation of both these areas, woman-on-top seems to be the winning position. This is because in this position, you get to control the angle by which his penis hits your G-spot, the depth of penetration, and other factors.

Now, I did say double stimulation, right? So for your clitoris, give it the attention it deserves by grinding your front against his body. Be sure to try various speeds and movements. For instance, make your hips grind against him in a circular fashion rather than going up and down. This way, you get to stimulate the clitoris as you move up, and his penis gets to hit your g-spot as you move down.

Of course, there’s also the doggy-style position. In this position, his penis is angled almost dead on your G-spot!

If he’s gifted in the size department down there, he may even hit your A-spot, a place some scientists think is capable of producing mind-numbing orgasms too. At the very least, going on all fours enables you to NOT face your lover if you’re the shy type.

If you want to increase the pleasure you feel, you can also squeeze your pubococcygeus (PC) muscles (the ones you use when you try to stem the flow of your urine) during sex. By squeezing these muscles, you are pulling your clitoris and vagina inwards, increasing the level of friction against them as he thrusts.

How to Maximize Your Pleasure

A woman’s body has many sexual secrets. There are a lot of erotic nooks and crannies. The key is to be able to stimulate as many hot buttons as possible at any given time.

For instance, I just love it when my man goes all oral on me. But when he reaches upwards too to fondle my erect nipples as his tongue does his magic down there, I get to the Big O faster than I can blink!

You can also try the ‘reverse cow girl’ position, where you go on top of him but are facing his feet. This position enables you to have your G-spot stimulated by his penis… while your hands are busy stimulating your C-spot at the front. And of course, encourage to multi-task too! Whatever position, tell him to touch, caress, lick and rub anywhere!

Gadgets to Speed Up the Big O

Sometimes, a few sex toys increase the pace to a mind-blowing orgasm. For instance, too much thrusting can make your vagina a tad dry so why not use a bit of lubricant so that everything flows (pun intended) smoothly?

Also, why not experiment with some sex gadgets? For instance, whip out the vibrator and really give your clit a titillating time. If you think this will offend your lover then just slip on a ‘finger vibrator’ on him, which will help, rather than replace, his stimulating moves. For his pleasure, why not put on a penis ring? There’s also buzz toys that you can place between your bodies to give you both a tingly feeling each time you grind against each other.

Orgasmic timing is always a bone of contention between males and females. Bridge that climactic gap by finding ways to speed up yours. It’s a win-win situation so go for it!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, g spot, orgasm, sex tips

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