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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

What Is Double Penetration?

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be even more fun when you involve insertion of an object in the vagina in addition to the anus. It can increase the frequency and intensity of orgasms during sex and it can be just the boost you need if your sex life is in a rut. It can also help you add a whole new level of pleasure to masturbation. But what exactly is double penetration, how do you do it and how do you keep it safe and clean?

What Is Double Penetration?

Usually during sex or masturbation, a man’s penis or a sex toy penetrates the vagina only. During anal sex, a penis or sex toy will penetrate the anus only. With this sex activity, a penis or toy will penetrate the vagina and the anus at the same time. This can be very pleasurable for a woman who enjoys feeling very “full” during sex, and it can increase the amount and intensity of a woman’s orgasms significantly.

For women who have trouble having a g-spot orgasm, double penetration can be the key. The object inserted into the anus actually rubs up against back side of the g-spot, stimulating it from the other side. It also helps push the g-spot forward into the object that is inserted into the vagina, so that it receives more stimulation from the front side as well. Combine stimulation of the clitoris with insertion of an object into the vagina and rectum for a really wild orgasm!

How To Get Started

As with anal sex, it’s important to start small and work your way up. Giant sex toys aren’t the best choice for the first time you try it. Remember that the anus doesn’t stretch like the vagina does and objects that you think are pretty small are actually going to feel very big once you insert them into your rectum. Consider trying a tiny butt plug to begin with, and then work your way up to larger and larger objects as you become more accustomed to bigger sizes.

It’s also important to use a very generous amount of lube during double penetration. The anus does not self lubricate like a vagina does and even small objects will cause pain and may tear the delicate anal tissues if there’s not enough lubricant down there. Lube is inexpensive and available almost anywhere, so there’s really no reason not to use it! Anal sex of any kind is much more pleasurable when everything is going smoothly.

Tools Of The Trade

Unless you’re with two guys, you’re going to have to use a sex toy of some kind in addition to your partner if you want to achieve double penetration. During masturbation, you’re going to need even more equipment. Here’s a breakdown of the different tools of the trade.

During Sex With A Partner

If he’s going to be entering your vagina, you’ll want to have a small butt plug on hand to insert into your rectum. If you’re more advanced with this sex technique, you can try using a larger sex toy for anal sex.

If he’s going to be entering your anus, you’ll want to have a larger sex toy on hand that will provide stimulation of the vagina. This can be as simple as a torpedo vibrator or as complicated as a Rabbit vibrator that stimulates the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time.

During Masturbation

Double penetration is a little different with masturbation since you’ll be doing all the work yourself. The most important thing during masturbation is to find a comfortable position to lie in that allows you full access to both your vagina and anus without restricting the movement of your hands or arms. You may want to have a few pillows on hand to help you do this.

As far as sex toys go, you really can use whatever you want here! Again, if you’re a beginner, choose a smaller sex toy for your anus. If you use a butt plug, both of your hands will be free to operate the sex toy you’re using on your vagina. Some sex toys have components for the anus, the vagina and the clitoris to provide stimulation of all three areas at once.

During A Threesome

This can also be achieved during a threesome if you’re having sex with two men. A lot of women really enjoy the thrill of being penetrated by a man in both the vagina and the anus and this is actually a sexual fantasy that a lot of women have but don’t often get to really act out.

Staying Safe

Because double penetration involves anal sex, there are some things you need to do to make sure everything stays clean and safe.

Use condoms on your sex toys. Do not insert a sex toy into the anus and then into the vagina without first taking the condom used in the anus off and putting a new one on. This prevents serious bacterial infections.

Do not use sex toys in the anus that aren’t designed for anal sex. If it doesn’t have a wide base or a ring on the end of it that prevents the toy from slipping inside the rectum in its entirety, it’s not something you want to use for anal stimulation. If it’s not designed for anal sex, it can slip up inside and get lost, requiring expensive urgent medical care.

If you’re having sex with two men, use condoms. STD’s can be transmitted easily this way, especially if the men swap between the anus and the vagina. As with sex toys, do not allow anal to vagina activity without a fresh condom being put on in between.

Go slow and use lube. The anal tissues can tear and bleed if you’re not using lube, go too fast or are using something that is too large.

If it hurts, stop. Never use desensitizing lube during anal sex because you definitely want to feel it if it hurts, because if it does, you need to stop! Never continue with penetration if there’s pain of any kind.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: anal sex, dildos, orgasm, penetration, sex tips, Sex Toys

How To Have An Orgasm In 60 Seconds

By loveandsex

Orgasms can sometimes come quickly, when you least expect them, and they can also take forever to achieve if you’re not 100% in the game. If having an orgasm consistently takes you awhile, you’re probably wondering how to speed your body up and reach climax faster. Here are some great tips on how to have an orgasm – sometimes in less than a minute!

Relax

The first step to getting your body ready to have a fast orgasm is to relax. Most women (and some men) tense themselves up completely during sex, and when your muscles and body are tensed up, you’re actually going to have a harder time reaching climax than if you were relaxed. This also applies if you’re trying to have sex after work, or when you’re stressed out about something. Day to day life such as work, bills and kids can definitely wreak havoc on your sex life and make it take much, much longer for you to have an orgasm.

Take just a few minutes before you get started to relax. Breathe in and out deeply, and concentrate on relaxing your body from head to toe. Relax your mind as well and imagine all the stresses of the day just melting away. Have a glass of wine to help you along if you’re of age, or take a hot bubble bath with a scented candle. Anything that you do to relax before you start masturbating or having sex will help you to reach orgasm faster.

Foreplay

Foreplay is a huge precursor to having a quick orgasm. If you’re not completely, 100% aroused before you get started, you’re either not going to climax at all or it’s going to take you a long time to finally reach your peak. To make sure you have an orgasm faster than ever before, start with foreplay. Whether before masturbation or before sex, give yourself some time for foreplay and allow yourself to get aroused.

Have your partner stroke your clitoris (or you can do this yourself) slowly, while imagining things that really, really turn you on. A woman’s imagination is one of the most powerful tools at her disposal to help her reach orgasm quickly and easily. If you’re sitting there thinking about the bills while you’re partner is performing oral sex on you, he’s going to be down there for a long time before you’re even halfway to the finish line.

Instead, imagine whatever turns you on most – whether it’s something naughty you haven’t shared with your partner or even another person. This works especially well during masturbation, since you have the freedom to imagine whatever you want without feeling guilty like you might if you were imagining questionable things when you’re with your partner!

Sex Toys

Don’t be afraid to bring sex toys into the bedroom for yourself and for you and your partner. Most women can’t reach orgasm in less than a minute by just using their fingers, but it can happen easily for you if you use a vibrator. Sex toys are easy to use during masturbation, but a lot of women (and men as well) feel that sex toys are for solo play only and not for use by couples. This couldn’t be farther from the truth!

When you’re having sex with your partner, bring out your clitoris vibrator and let your lover use it on you during foreplay. This will help stimulate you and may even cause you to have a fast orgasm before you and your partner even get started having sex! You can also use g-spot vibrators or dildos to help you achieve climax faster during sex if you prefer deeper penetration.

Change The Time Of Day You Get Busy

Whether you’re flying solo or you’re with your partner, having sex at the wrong time of day can significantly impact your ability to orgasm quickly and easily. For example, if you’ve worked all day, come home and cooked dinner and then put the kids to bed, you’re completely exhausted before you and your partner ever get to look at each other and think about sex. If you try to have sex then, it’s going to take you a very long time to reach orgasm and you may find that you’re unable to reach climax at all.

Instead, wake up several minutes early before you have to get ready for the day. Your mind and body will be relaxed, well rested and refreshed, so you will be more ready for sex at this point than if you wait until later in the day!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, foreplay, g spot, orgasm, sex tips, Sex Toys

Dating Advice: Who Should Make the First Move?

By loveandsex

In today’s dating world, long gone are the days of Sadie Hawkins dances. Now it’s as common for girls to ask out guys as it is the other way around. Yet some women still prefer to be pursued, and some men still prefer to be the pursuer. When you’ve met someone new and are interested in dating them, how can you tell which of you should make the first move? Observing their general behavior during your initial encounter can be very helpful, along with assessing just how comfortable you are being the asker.

Should She Ask Him Out?

If you’re the lady in the equation, it’s important to figure out what kind of guy you’re dealing with. If he’s a confident guy and is showing obvious interest in you, there’s a good chance he’ll do the asking. Of course, his big personality may attract lots of women, so he may be used to being hotly pursued.

If he seems like the life of the party, you can actually go either way. You can rest assured that he’s accustomed to women asking him out, so he won’t be bothered by you making the move. On the other hand, playing hard to get and making him do some of the work might actually pay off more for you. Men who are used to being chased after are often more intrigued by the women that make them do the chasing.

How To Do It

If you follow the latter option, make sure to flirt it up and make your affection for him just obvious enough that he knows you’re interested.Then sit back and wait for him to come to you. If you find yourself interested in a shy type, you’re most likely going to have to ask him out. This is especially true if you’re not shy yourself, as your overt confidence may be slightly intimidating to a shy guy. If you yourself are also shy or simply don’t believe in making the first move, take heart.

The best way to ask him out without really doing so is getting a friend to intervene. Have a mutual friend let him know that you’re interested in a seemingly uncontrived way. That should be all the confidence boosting he’ll need to make a move on you.

Should He Ask Her Out?

What if you’re the guy in the scenario? Guys can always feel comfortable with making the first move. Even if the woman you ask is used to asking guys out first, she won’t be put off by you beating her to the punch. Luckily for them, men have never had to worry about the unfortunate stigma of seeming desperate if they pursue someone.

Some women still fear that stigma though, so you can make it easier on her and ask a girl out. The modern man does need to worry about becoming too complacent, though. If you’re the type of guy that gets asked out all the time, be careful not to get too comfortable with it.

If you assume that you should let the ladies do all the work, you may miss out on some great catches. There are plenty of wonderful women out there who might be a little shy, a tad old fashioned, or just prefer to feel sought after. Even if you’re a lady magnet, you should take a chance now and again and ask out a girl you’re into.

On the flip side, even if you’re an old fashioned guy and prefer to do the asking, don’t shy away from a woman who’s bold enough to ask you out. In the current dating scene, a woman can make the first move without being a generally pushy person.

Be True To Yourself

Finally, whether you’re a boy or a girl, remain true to your own style. If you really don’t feel comfortable asking someone out, then don’t. That just means that you need to be pursued by someone to be happy, so you probably won’t enjoy dating a person whom you had to make the first move with anyway. Odds are good they’ll keep expecting you to take the lead throughout the relationship, which is probably not your thing.

More importantly, so much of the early dating process is about being in the moment. Trust your gut! If you feel like doing the asking, go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that the guy or gal you ask will say no. That just means it probably wasn’t meant to be to begin with. The truth is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to approaching a potential date.

If you can get a feel for the person you’re interested in and go with what’s comfortable for you, you’ll make the right decision every time.

Filed Under: Dating Tips Tagged With: approach women, ask a girl out, attract women, dating, flirting

Losing My Erection – Help!

By loveandsex

Erectile dysfunction affects a lot of men, all over the world. But that doesn’t mean that these men and their partners have to suffer with unsatisfying sex lives. There are ways to get around erectile dysfunction, depending on what the cause is. Here’s how to find out what is causing your problems with getting and keeping erections – and how to get rid of them so you and your partner can have better sex!

Hey Dan and Jenn – I have a problem! Whenever I attempt to have sex with my girlfriend, I always lose my erection. It’s very embarrassing for me and her because she thinks its because im not attracted to her. What is the reason for this?!!!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKNyinNqEks&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Physical Causes For Erectile Dysfunction

First, it’s important to consider and rule out physical things that may be responsible for or are contributing to your inability to get an erection. There are many physical causes for ED, including but not limited to:

  • Overweight
  • Inactive
  • Diabetes
  • Heart Disease

Generally speaking, the healthier and more active you are, the less likely you are to have erection problems. If you aren’t in good health or live a sedentary lifestyle, there is more of a chance that you will experience the inability to get or maintain an erection at some point. The same applies if you use recreational drugs or abuse alcohol. If the latter applies to you, start eliminating things in your life that might be contributing to your ED, one at a time.

If you drink excessively or smoke, quit. If you’re not active, start taking short walks around your home or office and make a commitment to eating more nutritionally rich foods. If your body is healthy and has what it needs, it is more likely that it will perform well in all areas of your life, including sex.

When To See The Doctor

If you live an active lifestyle, are healthy and don’t use any recreational drugs or overdo it on the alcohol and are still experiencing erectile dysfunction, it’s time to make an appointment with your doctor. Your doctor can help rule out more serious problems that could be responsible.

Emotional Causes For Erectile Dysfunction

There are just as many, if not more, emotional reasons for erectile dysfunction as there are physical. Stress from work or your family is a huge reason you may be experiencing ED, and other factors such as depression and anxiety can contribute as well. Stress, depression and anxiety can cause all kinds of problems in your life, including ED or even trouble reaching orgasm.

Even if anxiety or depression isn’t the cause of your erection problems, the medications for these issues (and other medications as well) can also contribute to impotency and orgasm problems.

How To Trace It Back To The Root

Although there are dozens of different things that can cause or contribute to ED, you can most likely find your answer by thinking about what you started doing differently when you started experiencing erection problems. Did you just start a new medication? Did you lose your job or did a close friend or family member pass away? Thinking back to what was going on in your life at the time is probably the biggest indicator of the true cause of your impotency.

Is It Her?

If you’ve exhausted all of your other options and you’re still having problems with impotency, consider the possibility that your partner may actually be the cause of your issues. For example, if you’re currently having relationship problems or if you caught her cheating on you in the past, your subconscious may be recoiling from her during sex and this may be causing you to have problems getting or keeping an erection during sex with her.

Basically, any unresolved issue you have with your partner may manifest itself as stress and carry over to the bedroom. You may also be suffering from performance anxiety – if you’re trying desperately to please her and are worried that your performance isn’t going to measure up, you’re not going to be able to maintain a rock hard erection.

Relax And Have Fun

If you’re healthy, active and aren’t having any relationship problems with your partner, just relax a little and remember that sex is all about having fun and having a great time with someone you care about and who cares about you. If you stress out too much about it, you’re going to make your issue worse instead of better! Relax and have fun!

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: ed, erectile dysfunction, erection, herbal viagra, how to last longer in bed, viagra

Anal Sex, Enemas & Colonics – What You Need To Know

By loveandsex

Anal sex always looks so clean in porn films – but you know from what comes out of there, it can’t be that clean, right? Well, it can be if you do a little preparation beforehand. Make anal sex cleaner with an enema or a colonic, but be careful – you can do more harm than good if you don’t research what you’re doing thoroughly before you do it. Here’s what you need to know about enemas and colonics, before you get started!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7r5Qcmwens&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

If You Play In The Mud, You Might Get Dirty

The hard truth about anal sex is that you can get dirty doing it – quite literally. The anus is designed to excrete fecal matter, and during anal sex (either with a penis or with a sex toy), fecal matter can get on you and your partner during thrusting. Unfortunately, there are very few ways around this and if you have watched a lot of porn that features anal play, you may have gotten the illusion that anal sex is clean when it really isn’t.

Why Don’t Porn Flicks Ever Show Feces?

Unless it’s a really, let’s say interesting fetish film, a porn isn’t going to show fecal matter on camera during any kind of anal play, whether it be penetration, fingering or analingus. Why is this? How do porn directors and actors show perfectly clean anal sex when we all know very well that it can get very, very dirty? Most porn stars do a little preparation before a shoot to make sure their intestinal tract is completely cleaned out. They often use an enema or a colonic to clean themselves out, so everything stays clean during filming.

What Is An Enema?

An enema is a procedure that involves squirting liquid up the rectum and into the bowels to stimulate them to excrete waste rapidly. Most of the time, only plain water is used during this procedure but other concoctions can be used as well, such as saline. This procedure is often used to clear the lower part of the intestinal tract for medical procedures or in cases of constipation, but it is also a popular way to get ready for anal sex since an enema can usually be performed at home.

What Is A Colonic?

A colonic is similar to an enema because it does involve pumping liquid into the rectum, but during this procedure, the liquid and the fecal matter are physically removed from the bowels using a tube. This is a much deeper, more thorough cleaning of the colon and intestinal tract, but it must be performed in a physician’s office by a licensed practitioner – this is not something you can do at home! It is also not recommended that you have this done right before having sex. An enema cleans only the lower part of the colon, but a colonic actually goes in quite a bit further to get rid of more waste.

Should You Use Either Procedure Before Anal Sex?

Deciding whether or not to use an enema or a colonic to get ready for anal sex is entirely up to you. It’s all about the personal preferences of you and your sexual partner(s). If they don’t mind a little fecal matter here and there and you don’t either, don’t worry about it.

You don’t have to put yourself through uncomfortable and possibly very expensive procedures to get ready for anal play if you and your partner really don’t care one way or the other! Remember that if you do choose to have an enema or a colonic done, you need to follow all directions to make sure you don’t do more harm than good.

Alternatives To These Procedures

If you want anal sex to be clean but the idea of having an enema or a colonic really freaks you out, you’re not at the end of the road. There are other ways you can clean yourself out too!

  • Go to the bathroom before sex. If you haven’t eaten a heavy meal, this may be all you need to get sparkling clean for your partner.
  • Wear a condom. This way, your partner doesn’t get fecal matter on his penis but you can both enjoy having anal sex. The condom slips right off and can be thrown in the trash without another glance.
  • Use an at home laxative. There are lots of over the counter laxatives that are available and can be used easily at home if you follow all the directions.
  • Use lube. With anal sex, lube is a must. The delicate tissues of the anus can tear and bleed if lube isn’t used. Don’t risk it! Lube is cheap and easy to get. There’s no reason not to!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, analingus, condoms, sex tips

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