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Engagement: Perfect Ways To Pop The Question

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Planning an engagement isn’t easy – in fact, sometimes it can be more difficult than planning the wedding! Thinking about the right way to propose can leave your head spinning. Make your engagement stellar with these great ideas.

Engagement is a big moment in not only your relationship, but also your life, so you want it to be as perfect as possible. A proposal should be personal and memorable. Most importantly, it should also be successful. All your work will be for naught if you don’t hear a “yes” at the end of it. Making it truly thoughtful and special will go a long way toward getting you that positive outcome.

Consider Your Mate’s Personality

Once you’ve decided to pop the question, the first thing to consider is your S.O.’s personality. If your girlfriend or boyfriend is a private person, asking them to marry you at halftime during a football game probably isn’t the way to go. If they’re a huge sports fan and love big, public displays of affection, then that’s probably a good idea.

Is your partner a sucker for traditional romance? Then a candlelight fancy dinner might do the trick. If they’re outdoorsy, you might want to try a trip to the botanical gardens or a hike. The quirky S.O. might appreciate finding their ring at the end of a treasure hunt with clues you’ve put together yourself. Just make sure that you tailor the location and mood of your proposal to your love’s tastes. They’ll appreciate it on so many levels.

Referencing Your Dating History In Your Proposal

If you really want to win him or her over, try referencing past moments in your dating history. Take them to the first restaurant you ate at, or the park you walk through every Saturday afternoon together.  If you met through work or in school, try asking in front of your office building or at your mutual favorite spot on campus.

You can even address the moment you knew your S.O. was the one for you. Maybe you had a moment at a museum while looking at a painting together when you realized he or she was the one. Go back and propose in front of that piece of art. Perhaps you both bonded over a mutual love for animals, so you should pop the question at the zoo or when you’re taking your dogs to the dog park together. Proposing at a special location that is part of your story together can make the moment feel extra inspired.

Think About What You Will Say

You should also prepare what you’re going to say before your engagement, of course. Be honest and open with your emotions. Tell an anecdote about the first time you met or the moment you knew you wanted to be together forever. Talk about how much you love your S.O. and paint a well-worded picture of how you see your future together turning out. Enumerate the qualities your boyfriend or girlfriend has that make them the perfect fit for you.

Then explain why you know you’re their soulmate. Be confident, but don’t feel bad if you get nervous or stray from what you planned to say. Nerves and excitement can be somewhat endearing. It’s an emotional moment, and it’s fine to tear up or stumble over a word or two. Let your true feelings shine through, and your mate will be moved by them. Combine that with a well-planned proposal that’s tailored to your significant other’s unique tastes, and you’ll be planning your wedding together in no time.

The A-Spot: What Is It And How To Find It

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An orgasm can occur a variety of ways, each providing different sensations from the other. You can give an orgasm by stimulating the clitoris or the G-spot. But have you heard about the A-spot? What is it, how do you find it and what do you do to give your girl an orgasm with it? Here’s the down low on the A-spot and how you can stimulate it to give your sex life a fresh new twist.

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What Is The A-Spot?

The A-spot is scientifically known as the “anterior fornix erogenous zone” but has also been called the AFE zone, AFE, A-spot, epicenter, deep spot or second G-spot when referring to it. The A-spot is an erogenous area inside the vagina that when touched firmly can lead to possible squirting, extra lubrication and intense arousal. This can sometimes happen even when there has been no other sexual stimulation at all. When the A-spot is continually stimulated, a woman can experience an incredibly intense, squirting orgasm.

Where Is It Located?

The A-spot is located behind the G-spot, right in front of the woman’s cervix. If you imagine that the G-spot is about two inches inside the vagina on the top wall, the A-spot is simply just a little further than that. It too is on the top wall of the vagina, but to stimulate it, you definitely need to go really, really deep. It may feel very rough or textured, and you’ll be able to tell once you’ve found it based on your partner’s level of pleasure at the time.

Once you reach the right area, she may have an instant orgasm, or she may just let you know that it feels really, really good. Communicate with your partner about what hurts and what doesn’t, because this technique can cause pain if not done properly or your partner doesn’t let you know what feels good and what hurts.

What Does It Do?

The A-spot is designed to re-direct vaginal fluids (these can be considered ejaculatory fluids) that are produced during a G-spot orgasm into vaginal lubrication. For this reason, when stimulating the A-spot, the vagina will lubricate quickly and a lot of the time, excessively. Some women report that an A-spot orgasm is much more intense than a G-spot orgasm, while other women report that they don’t feel that different at all.

How To Stimulate The A-Spot

Stimulating the A-spot isn’t that much different from doing so with the G-spot. Since they’re both located on the top wall of the vagina, you’re going to insert your fingers (one or two, depending on what your lady likes during fingering) palm side up. Curl your fingers up slightly, in a “come hither” motion.

Doing so will cause the tips of your fingers to press and rub against the A-spot. You can use the G-spot as a sort of “landmark” – if you know where it is, you can think about just going a little further. If you don’t know where it is, don’t try the A-spot technique because it’s more advanced. Start with learning more about the G-spot and how to stimulate it first.

Using Sex Toys

You can also use sex toys to stimulate the A-spot, if you have trouble doing so with your fingers. Many of the vibrators and dildos that are specifically made for G-spot stimulation can also work well for the A-spot. In fact, many sex toys that are designed for this are actually better than using your fingers, because they’re longer and many of them are designed with a special bend in the neck of the toy to reach the intended area. However, you’ll probably want to find the A-spot with your fingers first, before using sex toys, so you know where it is and where you want to put the toy.

Communication And A Safe Word

Communicating with your partner about how this technique feels and whether it hurts or not is extremely important for this to work, especially considering how deep you’re going. You can easily cause pain! Make sure your partner knows that she needs to be honest with you about how she’s feeling, and encourage her to use a safe word if it hurts and she’d like the activity to stop. She can say “stop,” unless that doesn’t really mean “stop.” A safe word is better because you’ll both know exactly what she means (that she’s in pain) and that she for sure wants to stop.

Your Guide On How To Choose The Right Sex Toys

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Choosing sex toys takes definitely takes some thought – very rarely do couples buy sex toys on impulse. There are things to look for when you’re making a purchase, depending on what you like or don’t like. Here’s the best way to figure out what sex toys you want to buy and what aspects are more important in a sex toy than others.

What Not To Shop For

There are lots of things that you want in a sex toy, but it’s unlikely that you’ll find the perfect made-just-for-you toy that meets every one of your requirements. That said, it’s essential that you think about what’s important in your item and what isn’t as crucial. Here are some examples of things you don’t necessarily want to narrow down your search:

Color

While you want your vibrator or dildo to be pretty, shopping for one based on what color it is alone is a great way to get a sex toy that you hate or can’t use. Certain sex toys come in certain colors, and if you’re only looking for clear or red (or whatever your chosen color is), you’re going to be limited in what you can get in that particular color. Instead, focus on a more important aspect – such as function or size – when shopping.

Brand

There are great brands out there, but not all the items produced by one brand are great. You may get a really fun, awesome dildo and swear up and down that you will only buy that brand ever again. The next thing you buy – such as a cock ring for example – may be a complete dud. Then again, it may not be.

However, by limiting yourself to one brand of sex toys only, you might miss something really great that has been that special item you’ve been looking for. Keep your mind open and look for items that meet other criteria, such as being easy to use or super discreet.

Price

Of course, most people shopping for sex toys need to stay within a budget. There are couples out there that can splurge on the $300 vibrator, but most people have an idea of what price range they need to be looking in. However, when you’re shopping strictly by price, you may run into trouble. Cheap sex toys aren’t always the best and the best ones aren’t always cheap. Then again, there are lots of inexpensive items that give a great orgasm – so price really isn’t a factor at all.

If you don’t have very much to spend, consider saving up for a little while longer so that you can have a broader range of items to pick from. If you’ve only got $20 to spend and are looking for stuff in that price range only, you may miss the awesome $21.95 toy that is everything you’ve wanted in a sex toy and more! Having a little bit more to spend when you start shopping allows you to check out a lot more items – whether you buy one that is at the bottom of your price range or the top.

What To Shop For

There are lots of things that are important when considering what types of items to look for, but some are much more significant than others. For example, size is pretty important – you don’t want to get something that is too small or too big for you. Here are some examples of things that may make or break your decision:

Size (Length & Width)

Size is probably one of the most important factors to consider when shopping for a vibrator or dildo. Think about what size you need – based on your previous sex toys and other partners’ penis size. Are you only able to accommodate a small vibrator, or do you need something that is a bit longer to reach your g-spot?

Take into account what size you are, and what size feels good to you. Purchase something that meets the basic length and width requirements and doesn’t go over or under them a lot. Your heart may be set on a pretty pink penis, but if it’s two inches too short, you’re going to be sorry.

Function

Need a vibrator that will massage your clitoris? You might not want to buy one that is designed for g-spot stimulation and vice versa. Before you buy, think about what exactly you’re wanting your new toy to do. Do you want something that will stimulate both the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time? Take a look at a Rabbit vibrator or something similar. Are you a virgin and need something that doesn’t require penetration? Think about vibrating bullets.

Don’t go shopping for sex toys without thinking about what function you want it to have first – that’s how you get stuck with something that you don’t want!

Ease Of Use

You probably don’t want a vibrator that has a thousand different buttons and requires an astrophysicist’s degree to figure out. Sometimes, a vibrator with a simple on/off function works great, so don’t assume the more buttons and gadgets it has the better. Pick something that you know will be easy to use, especially when you’re in the throes of passion alone or with your partner.

Level Of Discretion

Some couples really need their sex toys to be discreet. If that’s the case, look for a small bullet vibe or travel vibrator – something small that can be easily hidden or taken with you in a purse, pocket or suitcase. People who need a certain level of discretion may want to stay away from purchasing traditional dildos, since most of them tend to be larger and penis shaped.

Regardless of what sex toys you use, make sure that they meet your needs and wants before making the purchase. If you don’t, you’ll end up spending a lot of money on something that isn’t very good or is simply “okay.” Once you find the right item, make it even more pleasurable and comfortable by using a lot of good, water based lubricant. Take care of it and make it last longer by cleaning it after each use, either with a special toy cleaner or hot, soapy water.

How To Discuss Deal Breakers Before You Get Hitched

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Marriage can be a truly exciting thing. During the time between your engagement and your wedding day, you’ll be busy with planning, enjoying the feeling of anticipation at your coming nuptials, and more. The engagement period is also your last chance to move past any doubts you may be having about your relationship.

The most important thing you can do prior to getting married is make sure you and your significant other are on the same page. Within the first week of getting engaged, you need to cover all of the possible deal breakers, so you don’t find out about anything bad after you’ve already said “I do.”

She Said Yes – Now What?

So the question has been popped and answered in the affirmative—now what? If you’ve already discussed all of your plans for the future with your S.O., congratulations! You’re ready to start planning the ceremony. If not, it’s time to have a very serious discussion together. You two need to cover all of the possible deal breakers and make sure you’re either on the same page, or one of you is willing to bend for the other’s sake.

Talking About Children

First up is one of the biggest topics, children. Do you both want to get pregnant? If one of you does and one of you doesn’t, that can be a major deal breaker. Don’t convince yourself that you can go without the little rug rats you’ve been hoping for just because your soon-to-be spouse doesn’t want them. Definitely do not convince yourself that he or she will likely change their mind.

Give this topic very serious consideration, because if you want them and he/she doesn’t, it can definitely lead to divorce farther down the line. If you both want children, you probably need to set basic expectations about it now. If one of you wants them right away and the other wants to wait, be sure that you’re willing to meet in the middle before you move forward with your marriage. As for how many you want, it’s probably best to wait until you’ve actually had one child before you start deciding on numbers. In this area, as in all of the other major issues, it’s necessary to establish where you are willing to compromise and where you are not.

Talking About Religion

After the issue of offspring has been covered, it’s time to talk religion. If you both practice the same faith or are not particularly religious people, there won’t be much to discuss here. If you’re both the same faith, two Methodists for instance, but go to different churches, you should discuss whose church you’ll join.

Other than that you’re golden. If you’re not of the same faith, or one of you is more religious than the other, you’ll definitely need to examine this subject more. Does one of you expect the other to convert? If you have children, which faith will you expect them to practice? Clarify these issues now, and no major problems will arise further down the line. Besides, if you’re intending to have a religious ceremony, you’ll need to have this discussion so you can pick a venue, etc.

Talking About Finances

You will also need to discuss your living arrangements and financial situation. Does either of you already own a home, or are you both renting? In either situation, will one of you move into the other’s place, or are you going to find a new place to share? If you are going to find a new place together, you need to decide whether you want to buy a home or rent something. Then you should compare your expectations.

If one of you would prefer to go on renting an apartment and the other expects to be a home owner within two years, the sooner you can reach a compromise, the better. Discussing your finances will go hand in hand with deciding where to live. Now is the time to talk about whether or not you’ll combine bank accounts, if either of you has any debt, and more. Unromantic as it may seem, financial worries can cause marriages to crumble. You don’t want to find out six months after you got married that your new spouse is $20K in debt and expects you to put your salary toward that. Talk about fighting and a possible divorce waiting to happen!

Smaller Issues To Deal With

There are other smaller issues that can wait until after the honeymoon, like how you’ll be splitting household chores and deciding which person’s family to visit on each holiday. What’s most important is that you clear the air on the major parts of your future—children, religion, finances and living arrangements. If you can have an honest discussion on these topics and plan to tackle any problems together, you’ll start your marriage on a much happier note.

Getting these things out of the way prior to the wedding not only leaves you with less to worry over, but it also makes sure you don’t walk into marriage with incorrect expectations. If you’re not comfortable talking any of these topics over now, you may need to question if you’re really ready to be married or not. However, if you can start your engagement with this sort of openness, you’re setting a great precedent for the rest of your lives together.

How To Have Great Sex Without Penetration

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Sex isn’t all about penetration. It’s a common misconception that you have to actually have intercourse to have awesome sex, but the truth is, you can actually have wonderful physical intimacy with your partner while not bumping uglies at all! There is so much more to doing it than just “penis-in-the-vagina” – in fact, there are so many more enjoyable ways to experience your partner sexually while avoiding intercourse! Here’s how.

Why Couples Would Want To Skip Traditional Intercourse

You might be wondering why anyone in their right mind would want to skip out on the sex part of sex. There are, however, lots of couples who either can’t or don’t want to have traditional intercourse with each other for various reasons. Some couples may want to avoid unwanted pregnancy by not engaging in penetration (if they’re not using condoms or birth control) and other couples may be avoiding penetration for religious, spiritual or moral reasons.

After childbirth, women are often cautioned not to have sex for six weeks afterwards, leaving them at a loss on how to please their partners when sex is not an option. Other couples may not be a great fit physically down there and will get more enjoyment out of foreplay than actual intercourse.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is a great way to give your partner an amazing orgasm with no intercourse. Most people feel like oral sex is for foreplay only, but why not make it the main event? It is that great, after all! Take turns pleasuring your lover with your tongue and letting them do the same for you, or try the sixty-nine position and give each other simultaneous oral sex. You may not think it’s possible to feel completely satisfied after having only oral sex with your partner and forgoing intercourse, but the truth is, you might even have a better and more satisfying orgasm this way than through intercourse alone. Your partner will too!

Masturbation

If oral sex isn’t your thing or you’re just not ready to go there with your partner yet, think about masturbation. Not the flying solo kind, but the masturbating your partner with your hands kind. This is better known as fingering (if they’re a girl) and giving a handjob (if they’re a guy). Lots of people avoid this type of stimulation when they’re getting it on with their lovers because they feel like that manual stimulation is actually boring – especially since this is the kind of stimulation you get all the time when you masturbate alone.

However, you can give your partner amazing orgasms through manual stimulation! All it takes is time, a little hard work and lots and lots of great lube. Most people who don’t enjoy getting a handjob from their partner have forgotten that crucial component – lots of lube!

Sex Toys

If you’re not going to have intercourse with your partner, why not bring in some fun sex toys to play with instead? If she can handle penetration but just not with a penis (for example, if she’s trying not to get pregnant), try using a dildo or a vibrator. If penetration of any kind is out of the question, a clitoris vibrator can definitely come into play. This is a great way to give a woman an orgasm when avoiding intercourse, especially if oral sex or fingering isn’t your thing. Instead of letting her take care of herself with the vibrator (which a lot of guys do when they can’t do it with their ladies), take care of it for her and get off on her pleasure.

For the men, sex toys can also be beneficial when you can’t or don’t want to do it the traditional way. Male masturbators (also known as masturbation sleeves) can make giving him a handjob a lot easier, especially when you use plenty of lube. In fact, it will probably feel better for him too!

Kissing

If you’re avoiding sexual activity all together for whatever reason, don’t forget that you can stay physically intimate and close to your partner through kissing. Don’t just assume that the quick kiss you gave your lover before work will suffice – if you’re not having sex, take some time to have a really great and satisfying make out session with your partner.

Kiss your lover deeply and slowly, with no regard to how much time you have or what is going to come next. Simply enjoy the kissing experience for what it is and encourage your partner to do the same. When done right, kissing can be an extremely satisfying way to stay physically connected to your lover when you can’t get it on!