Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

5 Tips For Better Lovemaking

By

Here are five really simple ways to make your lovemaking more hot, steamy and passionate – starting tonight!

Find Your Partner’s “Hidden” Zones

I call these “hidden” zones because many people don’t realize, or forget, that these areas of the body LOVE attention. While many of these zones are obvious, like the lips, breasts, inner thighs and genitals, there are also areas that, when stroked, caressed and kissed, can drive your partner wild and even intensify their orgasm.

Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms and hair are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and watch how it pleases your partner.

Set A Romantic Mood

People often think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood of your lovemaking is too “cliché.” Are they kidding?!? Your partner will LOVE YOU for this. Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so “cliché” because people enjoy it so much? Point made.

Give Them A Sensual Massage

Why stop at setting the mood? Go one step further and give your partner an erotic massage that makes them feel relaxed and loved at the same time. Make it sexy, sensual, and pleasurable.

Massage them naked or build up the anticipation by having them slowly undress during the massage. Then kiss, caress and slowly transition “under the sheets” where a massage of another kind can take place. And no, you don’t need years of study to give a great massage. Just grab some candles and music, and bless your partner with an experience they’ll never forget.

Please Your Partner With More Oral Sex

Did you know that oral sex is a great way to strengthen your relationship? Think about it. It takes a lot of trust and comfort to let somebody have their mouth down there. Not to mention it’s great for men who want to relax without pressure to perform, and for women who can’t reach orgasm from only intercourse. In short, it’s an important part of foreplay. Here are some tips for both men and women.

LADIES: Women often start fellatio by sucking on the penis straight away when, actually, they should start with some playful teasing and soft touches. This will lead to a much more powerful orgasm as it heightens his anticipation.

GENTLEMAN: A mistake men often make is moving their tongue in a thrusting fashion, when stimulating the vagina and clitoris orally. Instead, they should lick it like an ice cream cone. Another great tip to keep things exciting is to write the alphabet around the clitoris with your tongue.

Constantly Explore And Try New Things

If I could only give you one piece of advice for better lovemaking, it would be this: become adventurous and creative.

Nothing is stopping you from red-hot passion except your level of creativity. Try new sex positions, do it somewhere new, or spice up your foreplay with a game. Let’s face it, the basic act of lovemaking, no matter how hard you try, is always kiss and thrust, but it’s HOW you do it and the way you make your partner feel that really counts.

By dedicating time to finding new things, you can turn ordinary lovemaking into extraordinary lovemaking. This is the sure-fire way to make sure your lovemaking stays passionate, pleasurable, and intimate for years to come.

Sexting: How To Make Her Feel Truly, Undeniably Sexy

By

Feeling sexy is something that every woman should experience, but so few women do because of the unrealistic images that the media puts out there to show women how they “should” or “need to” look. If your partner doesn’t feel sexy, she’s not going to be sexy – and you’re not going to have very good sex! Here’s how you can use sexting to make your lover feel like she looks amazing so you can unleash a powerful, new sex vixen in your bedroom!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAUB9jtaaU0[/youtube]

Understanding A Woman’s Sexual Self Esteem

Believe it or not, most women have very low sexual self esteem, or even none at all. Even very good looking and sexy women don’t feel like they’re sexy or attractive at all. Why is this? Media and social expectations play a big role in how women feel about themselves, because there is so much pressure for women to look a certain way.

Think about it – how many pictures of gorgeous women do you see every day in magazines, on signs and billboards, on television, in movies and in commercials? These pictures and videos are airbrushed and edited, not to mention the actresses and models had several stylists doing their hair and makeup before anything even hit the cutting room floor.

Society pressures women everywhere to look like the women that the media plasters everywhere, even though it is a completely unrealistic expectation because it is impossible for real women to look that perfect. As a result, many women feel as though they aren’t sexy or good looking because they don’t look exactly like the way models and actresses are portrayed. Even if a girl feels attractive, she will rarely feel as though it is enough.

What Happens When A Woman Feels Sexy

Confidence is sexy – that’s a given. So when a woman feels inadequate in the attractiveness department, she’s not going to radiate that sexy confidence. On the other hand, however, when a woman feels like she looks good, she’s going to have a better attitude about herself and feel more confident about the way she looks. This translates into looking better, feeling better, being more turned on and thinking about sex more often. Making your partner feel like she is attractive and sexy is a win-win situation all around because she’ll feel great and you’ll get to reap the benefits!

Make Her Feel Sexy In 3 Steps

Step 1: Find out what part of her body she likes the best.

Many men try to compliment what they like best about their partner’s bodies, but most of the time it backfires because they’re complimenting the very physical attributes that their lovers are the most insecure about. If you really want to make your girl feel sexy, find out what she likes best about herself. Find out the part of her body that she shows off and that she thinks looks fabulous.

Step 2: Wait to strike until she’s bored…at work, a meeting, etc.

This sexting technique works best when she’s bored. This usually will happen while she’s at work or in class listening to a boring lecture. This is the prime moment to work your magic because this is when she is the most mentally receptive to what you’re going to say.

Step 3: Send her a text complimenting her favorite asset.

When she’s at work or bored somewhere else, send her a steamy text that suggests how much you love that particular asset of hers – you know, the one she really feels good about herself. This will not work if you’re complimenting what you like about her! The key here is to talk about the asset of hers that SHE loves. Tell her, “I can’t stop thinking about your eyes” or “Your breasts looked amazing when you got out of the shower this morning.”

What It Will Do For Her

The “magic” here happens when you choose her favorite feature about herself and tell her how much that particular feature inspires lust and excitement in you through sexting. What this does is it makes her feel great about the things she already loves about herself. She’ll feel amazing because you noticed the very thing about her looks that she is most proud of and likes to show off!

This makes her feel super sexy and confident about the way she looks. When she gets home from work or class that day, she’ll already be turned on from the sexts you sent earlier in the day. Since you started the foreplay much earlier in the day, her imagination has been going for hours and it will be all she can do not to rip your clothes off when she gets home!

Sex Acts That Will Scare Her Away – For Good

By

Sex with your girl can be super fun – or it can be super scary for her if you aren’t careful to keep things from going too far. It may seem like common sense to stay away from anal sex or rape fantasies the first several times you have sex with a girl, but you’d be surprised at what guys will try without thinking about how a girl will react to it. While some chicks dig a little BDSM in the bedroom, there are a few things that you’ll want to avoid if you don’t want to scare her away for good.

Scary Looking Sex Toys

Some sex toys are fine to use with a woman you haven’t been with for very long, such as slender or bullet style vibrators, lubes and feather ticklers. These are fairly benign and probably won’t freak a girl out or offend her, even if she’s never used sex toys before. What a girl doesn’t want to see in your bedroom are huge dildos, anal beads or whips. Large contraptions that look like they could service several people at once will definitely scare your girl off. Until you really get to know her and talk to her about what sex toys she likes, keep the scary stuff in the drawer of your nightstand.

Forced Sex

It’s true – some girls have rape fantasies. Granted, they are few and far between but there are women out there who enjoy the idea of forced sex. However, these women are generally only comfortable having fun with their fantasies with someone they know well, trust a lot and have been with for a long time. Don’t assume that any girl will enjoy forced sex, because it’s much more likely that she won’t – and she may assume that you’re really trying to date rape her. At best, your partner is going to be scared away – and at worst, you may face rape charges.

Dirty Talk That Goes Too Far

Most girls like to know that they’re pleasing the guy they’re with. That means, don’t be shy on the sexy moans, noises and gasps that let her know you’re really into what she’s doing. Even a little dirty talk can be acceptable for many women, if you’re telling her what a good job she’s doing sending you over the edge to orgasm. What is not okay when it comes to dirty talk is when you call her names (such as “bitch” or “slut”) or when you talk about doing really strange or scary things (such as wanting to pretend she’s your sister or that she’s an animal).

Anal Sex – If She’s Not Expecting It

While a lot of girls are into anal sex and anal play, it’s definitely a line you don’t want to cross until you talk to the girl you’re with about how she feels about anal sex. Some guys think that it’s hotter if they surprise a girl with a finger up her bum, but in truth, it will probably just freak her out and may make her want to stop having sex with you all together. If you really want to try anal sex with a girl, wait until you’ve done it with her several times and talk to her about it beforehand.

Hitting Or Choking Her

It is almost never acceptable to hit or choke a woman during sex. Light slapping is sometimes okay if you get permission first, but actual hitting is something just about every girl is going to find absolutely detestable. The same goes for choking – erotic asphyxiation is dangerous and will definitely scare your woman and possibly hurt her if she’s not expecting it. Hitting and choking are just two things that need to be kept off limits for you and your partner’s safety.

Fetish Play That You Haven’t Talked About First

While pretty much everyone has a fetish of some kind or another, some people find other fetishes (ones beside their own) very strange and weird. Don’t break out your fetish supplies until you’ve discussed them with your partner, and definitely don’t spring them on her without asking her permission first. Avoid dirty talk about your fetish, and keep it under wraps until you’ve been with her several times and have gotten to know her well. For her to want to try a fetish with you, she’ll need to trust you and feel very comfortable around you sexually. It usually takes a while for girls to warm up to guys this way, so cool your heels on introducing her to your fetish for awhile.

Q&A: I Want Him To Touch Me More When We Make Out

By

When kissing your lover, you may want to move on to some heavy petting but he may not seem ready to – at least, on the surface. Is it because he really doesn’t want to go that far or because he’s afraid he’s going to touch you the wrong way and upset you for going too far? Chances are, it’s the latter. Here’s how to get him to try a little foreplay while you’re making out!

Question: I want my boyfriend to touch me more when we’re making out. Can you help me on how to encourage that?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4ipBvj2s74[/youtube]

Is He Afraid To Make The First Move?

A lot of guys – especially guys who have been in relationships before – have been chastised for doing something wrong or touching a woman in the wrong way while making out or using foreplay. He may be unsure where to touch you or how you like to be touched, so he may just be afraid to make the first move in fear of doing something wrong or touching you in a way that might offend you or turn you off.

If you think he’s afraid to make the first move, try talking to him about it when you’re not making out, such as over lunch or a romantic dinner. Let him know without criticizing him that you love kissing him and making out with him, but you would love it even more if you could feel his hands on your body. Be sure to let him know how far is too far though – if you’re not ready for sex, let him know where you’re going to draw the line. It will only make things worse if you give him the go ahead to touch you while you’re kissing each other but you have to reprimand him as soon as he goes “too far.” Make sure he knows ahead of time what is okay and what makes you uncomfortable.

Gently Guide Him Verbally

When you’re in the moment, it’s super sexy to whisper into your lover’s ear what you’d like him to do next. Guys really love this for two reasons – because your hot breath in his ear turns him on and because your guidance means that he doesn’t have to guess at what to do and when to do it. This will help him to learn what you like and when you like it, because a lot of guys (actually, most guys) aren’t sure when to move forward because they just don’t want to cross that line without the go-ahead from you.

This is also a great time to introduce dirty talk! Guys love dirty talk and it’s a great way to really heat things up while you’re making out. Tell your partner in a sexy way what you want him to do – such as saying, “I love it when you pinch my nipples” or “I’d like you to touch my ____.” Also include descriptive words such as “hard, soft, slow, etc.” that not only lets him know where to make his next move, but also how you’d like it. This gives him confidence to actually make the moves, because he’s not scared he’s going to do something that will upset you or turn you off.

Give Him Positive Reinforcement

When he does something that you really enjoy, make sure you praise him and let him know that you liked it. You definitely want to let him know that you like something while he’s doing it by making noise or showing him with your body language that he hit the right spot, but you also want to follow that up with verbal encouragement as well. Men need to hear what they’re doing right if you want them to keep doing it – chances are, if you don’t give him that positive reinforcement, he’ll assume that he’s doing it wrong and stop, even if you absolutely love what he’s doing. Remember to keep the comments positive too – a negative comment will stick with him for a long time and negate all of the nice things you said. If you must redirect him, don’t tell him he’s doing something wrong – instead, let him know that you liked something else even better.

How To Show Him What You Like

  • Use chocolate sauce to highlight the areas you want him to lick and suck
  • Use a feather tickler to trace the path you want his mouth or hands to take around your body
  • Bring home a book on erotic massage and read it together – try the techniques on him first and then let him try them on you
  • Use your imagination to give your partner visual aids on where and how you want him to touch you!

Sexting: How To Use Curiosity Texts To Turn Her On Like Crazy

By

While sexting is a great way to get your partner turned on enough to rip your clothes off and jump your bones as soon as you walk in the door from work, getting started is no easy feat if you’re not sure how to break the ice. A racy text that talks about explicit sex isn’t something that you want to send if you haven’t gotten her to engage you in a sexy conversation first – in fact, it may very well offend her. Here’s how you can word the first “sexts” to get her thinking about more and open the door for racier conversation.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=019vKSLwatk[/youtube]

How To Get Started

Sending your partner a text that explicitly details everything you want to do to her tonight (or what you want her to do to you) without building her curiosity will most likely backfire and only serve to offend her and put her off the whole idea for good. Easing into sexting the right way is one of the most important things you need to do, especially if you want to be able to use sexting in the future to revv your lover’s sex drive and send her into a horny frenzy before the two of you even touch each other.

While not all of your sexts have to be PG-13, it’s very important that the first ones you send are. Just like you would want to use foreplay in the bedroom to turn her on and get her warmed up for sex, you want to flirt with her a little through your texts to get her ready to talk about more.

How To Engage Her Curiosity

Start by sending her texts that spark her curiosity and make her wonder just what exactly is going through your head. Your first text should be something she’s going to have to respond to, simply because it makes her that curious! If you start out by describing exactly how you want her to give you a blowjob later, that leaves no room for her to think and wonder and let her imagination run wild – because you definitely want to let her imagination run wild.

Examples Of Great Curiosity Building Sexts

To get started, try some of these steamy but not too revealing sexting examples to get her wondering what you’re thinking about and engage you in sexting. These examples will get her mind going, which is exactly what you want to happen. If her mind isn’t involved, she’s not going to get turned on!

  • “I can’t stop thinking about you….”
  • “Do you remember that amazing night we had awhile back?
  • “Tonight….”
  • “I can’t wait to see you….”
  • “I need to feel you….”
  • “When I think of you, everything gets harder”
  • “Do you know what I want to do?”
  • “Do you know what would look good on you?”
  • “Thinking of you is driving me crazy!”

Once your girl responds to the first text (which she will if you’ve piqued her interest), follow up by leading her in the direction you want to go – a subtle but steamy conversation that plays with her imagination and gets her mind thinking and fantasizing about YOU. This is how you can use sexting to turn your girl’s cell phone into an erotic novel – which is of course, way more effective for a woman than any other kind of stimulation. Women respond much better to anything that stimulates their brains and their imaginations – such as an erotic book – than they will to visual stimulation like pictures or videos.

  • You say: “I can’t stop thinking about you….” She says: “Why?” You say: “Because you turn me on sooooo much!”
  • You say: “Do you remember that amazing night we had awhile back?” She says: “Yes, why?” You say: “I’ve been wanting to do that again sooo bad.”
  • You say: “Do you know what would look good on you?” She says: “No, what?” You say: “Nothing….”

As you can see from these examples, the “….” in the text is probably one of the most important parts of the text itself. It’s what allows her imagination to roam and fill in the blanks. She’ll wonder what you’re really thinking, because you made it appear as though your thoughts weren’t finished. After you build her interest in playing the sexting game, you can start making your sexts hotter by suggesting what you’d like to do to her later – whether you want to see her wearing her sexiest lingerie or you want to surprise her with oral sex by lifting up her skirt as soon as she gets home.