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(Ladies) How To Masturbate In 10 Easy Steps

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Masturbation for women is not at all like what masturbation is for men. Men often learn to masturbate at a young age, whereas many women have never tried masturbation before at all! Masturbation is a great way to satisfy your sexual curiosity and needs if you’ve never had sex before or in between sexual relationships. It’s also an excellent way to connect with yourself spiritually, emotionally and sexually. Here’s how to masturbate in 10 easy steps!

Part 1 of 2

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Part 2 of 2

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Get Yourself In The Mood

For most women, trying to orgasm when you’re stressed out or thinking about your daily to-do list is much like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It’s not going to happen. When you’re ready to start masturbating, spend some time to get yourself in the mood. Lock your door so you’re not worried about someone walking in and catching you in the act, take a bath, drink a glass of wine if you’re of age and just take some time to de-stress and let the thoughts of the day float away.

Fantasize

What makes you hot? Think about what turns you on and then do just that – think about it! Don’t be afraid to use props, such as erotic magazines, books or videos. Put on something soft and silky, or go naked if that’s what you like. Light candles with scents that relax you or turn you on. Whatever you choose to do, it just has to turn you on and get you thinking about pleasure.

Explore Your Body

Instead of just heading straight to your vulva, take some time to explore your entire body. If you’ve put on something soft and silky, try rubbing that across your skin. If you’re nude, take a silk scarf and rub it across your nipples. Touch your body, from your neck to your legs. When you touch somewhere that feels good, keep doing it! Try touching two places at once, such as touching your nipples and caressing lightly in between your legs.

Touch Yourself

When you’re ready to move to your vulva, begin touching yourself softly and slowly. Use one or two fingers to slowly massage your clitoris. Try using your palm too, and experiment with different pressures and speeds to find out what feels the best. This is where you’ll want to start using lots of lube! Many women don’t realize how much even just a little lube can make a difference in how masturbation feels. Try tickling yourself, tugging gently on your labia, or even inserting a finger or two in your vagina. Most women, however, will get more pleasure from clitoral stimulation during masturbation than they will vaginal.

Build Up The Sexual Tension

When you start feeling really aroused, back down a little bit and use a softer pressure or less speed to slow down and let the sexual tension build. Make the pleasure last as long as possible by not rushing to orgasm. When you feel like you’re on the brink, stop and do something else. When you’ve felt the pleasure subside a little, start building up again until you’ve reached the brink again. Keep doing this until you just can’t hold back anymore!

Remember To Breathe

A lot of women hold their breath when they start feeling pleasure, when they should be doing the exact opposite. Remember to breathe deeply and let the sexual energy flow through your body instead of trying to fight against it. Start building up a rhythm by rocking your pelvis against your hand. Try clenching your PC muscles (the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine) in tandem with rocking your pelvis and touching yourself.

Reaching Orgasm

When you’re at the brink of reaching orgasm but just can’t seem to make it over the edge, try giving yourself a little extra stimulation. Think about a really, super hot fantasy or use your fingers or a toy to insert into your vagina. You can also try pinching your nipples or caressing your anus.

Letting Yourself Go

When you begin to orgasm, continue doing exactly what you were doing when the orgasm started. Don’t stop! You’ll begin to feel waves of pleasure, and you may want to lighten your stimulation a little to feel the individual orgasmic waves. If this is the first time you’ve had an orgasm, it may feel like a blast of pleasure that seemed too short, but the more you masturbate and experience orgasms, the more you will begin to feel the different parts of an orgasm.

Practice, Practice, Practice

When it comes to masturbation, practice makes perfect. You may not reach orgasm on your first try, or you may not be quite satisfied with the first experience. Don’t give up! Try using a vibrator or dildo that will provide intense stimulation, or try rocking your pelvis against something like a pillow, a stuffed animal or even the corner of your bed. Try lots of different things and when you find something that you like, keep doing it! If something isn’t working for you, it’s time to give it up and try something else. With practice, you’ll find the masturbation methods that get you hot and bring you to orgasm every single time!

Unexpected Relationship Milestones

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Meeting the parents. Engagement. Marriage. Home-buying. Having a baby. These are the turning points we think of when someone says, “relationship milestones.” However, there are other things that take place in the course of a relationship which can be considered smaller, but still important, milestones (or maybe just quarter-mile markers).

Combining Cell Phone Plans

Like it or not, most of us couldn’t live without our cell phones. It’s an important part of our day-to-day lives, something we won’t leave the house without. In a way, our phone number is an extension of our persona. When you combine cell phone plans with someone, you’re meshing your main mode of communication…and the service contract that goes with it. Once you agree to combine contracts, you are committing to stay with your partner for at least the next two years. Too early in a relationship and this can cause undue panic. It’s not buying a home or getting married, by any means. But it is a situation that makes you stop and take a moment to reflect on your relationship.

Borrowing Cars

Sure, married people do it all the time. They’re used to everything being “ours”—not “yours” or “mine”. Yet, the first time you use your partner’s car can be intimidating. Maybe your car is in the shop, or their car has 4-wheel drive and you are going to the mountains with friends. Simply asking someone to borrow his or her car can trigger anxiety. There is also your partner’s worry to consider: allowing someone to use your car sends a clear message, “I care about and trust you.” When your partner hands you the keys, they are putting an important part of their daily life in your hands. Just like with a cell phone, you’re stepping into your significant other’s zone. You’re going to change the mirrors, the seat, the steering wheel, and the radio station. Nothing says “ours” like changing someone’s radio presets.

Getting The Flu

The first time your partner hears you vomit is a special relationship moment. How will they react? How will you feel about it? When they get home from work, will they have the fortitude to help you get through the evening? You’ve been on the couch all day, only getting up to use the bathroom or take your medicine. Dirty and cranky—a good partner will overlook your condition and offer to make you some toast, while you muster up the energy to take a shower. Once you’ve made it through a virus with your significant other, you bond in a way that will prepare you for all kinds of future maladies.

Although these examples may not elicit the same responses from everyone, they are a small example of the kinds of things we all face when entering a serious relationship. While things like cell phone plans and apartment leases do speak to a certain level of commitment, they’re nothing to be panicked about. If you love someone enough to even be considering these steps, it’s probably a good sign that you’re headed in the right direction with the right person.

Phone Sex – Tips For Talking Dirty

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Talking dirty is an art form, one that can seem quite intimidating to master. Contrary to popular belief though, learning to talk dirty isn’t at all difficult. You just have to learn to let yourself go! Here are some excellent tips on how to talk dirty with your partner whether you’re having phone sex or whether you’re in the bedroom!

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Set The Right Environment

Getting comfortable and setting the right environment will help you feel sexy and relaxed, therefore you’re going to sound sexy on the phone. Find a spot in your home that is quiet and where you won’t be disturbed, such as your bedroom or a guest room or sitting room. Wait until the kids go to bed, or you’re done watching your favorite television show so you can be totally present in the conversation. Don’t try to have phone sex in the kitchen, the garage or the bathroom (of course, unless you’re taking a hot, steamy bath) because when your partner asks you where you are or what you’re doing, saying, “in the kitchen” is definitely not a turn on. Wear some comfortable clothes, or try wearing some sexy clothes and describing to him what you’re wearing. Light some candles or burn incense, and make sure the television is turned off. You want to be relaxed and able to focus on what you’re saying.

Don’t Be Afraid To Take The Lead

Men love it when women take the lead in sex, and phone sex and talking dirty is no different. While some men do enjoy hearing themselves talk dirty, he’s going to like it even more when you’re the one doing it too. He wants to hear what you like, what you fantasize about and what turns you on – in intimate detail. He will like talking about what turns him on too, but he’ll get bored quickly if he’s the only one doing the talking. Take turns describing what you’re wearing to each other and what you’d like to be doing to each other if you were together. Don’t be afraid to get totally absorbed in the conversation and let your true sexy self come out.

If You’re Feeling Shy

Many people, both men and women, are very shy when it comes to talking dirty, whether it’s on the phone or in person. If you’re feeling nervous about it, there are many ways you can try to overcome your shyness. First of all, make sure you’re using grown up words. You may not want to use some of the “hardcore” words that many people associate with talking dirty, but using anatomically correct words such as “penis” is much better than using other words such as “wee wee” or other pet names. If you find that you can’t come up with anything on your own, ask him to describe what he wants you to do to him. Take notes if you need to, and then simply repeat back to him what he said in first person. If your partner is the one that is shy, let him hear what you’d like to do and have him repeat it back to you! This is a super easy and fun way to break the ice and start talking dirty!

Phone Flirting Tips

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Whether you’re in a long distance relationship or dating on the phone, you’re going to find yourself having a conversation with your partner on the phone at one point or another. While “phone dates” may not seem as important as face to face dates, how you carry on the conversation with your partner makes an impact. Here are some tips on how to get it right and make a great impression.

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Tone Of Voice

Your tone of voice and how you speak makes an impact on the overall conversation, in addition to what you say. Don’t use the same tone of voice you would use if you were on the phone with your mother, your kids or even your boss. Use a completely different tone of voice, similar to what you would use if you were on an actual face to face date with this person. Lower your voice and speak softer and more slowly. Remember, even though you are on the phone, it is a date! Relax, picture your partner in your head and let your tone of voice become what it would be if you were talking to them in person.

Body Language

Believe it or not, your body language will make a huge difference in how you sound on the phone to your partner. You may be trying to sound sexy and sultry, but if you’re busy doing the dishes, doing the laundry or even occupied with the computer or television, it’s going to come through in your voice. When flirting on the phone, you don’t want to sound busy, stressed, tired or preoccupied. Stop what you’re doing and sit back and relax. Lie on the bed or the couch and let your body language mimic the tone of voice that you’re using. If it helps, put on some comfortable or even sexy clothing and light some candles to help set the mood and get you in the right frame of mind.

Be Present In The Conversation

One of the worst things you can do on a phone date is to be listening to someone and start checking off your to do list in your head, or allowing your mind to wander in other ways. Your partner deserves better than accurately timed “uh-huh’s” and “yeahs.” Be present in the conversation. Shut off the television, go to a quiet place and focus yourself on the conversation at hand. Listen to them, ask intelligent questions and provide intelligent answers to the questions they ask you. You can even take notes at this point if you want. For example, if your partner mentions something they like or don’t like, make a note of it so you can remember later.

Let The Real You Shine Through

Don’t try to be fake when flirting with your partner, because sooner or later you’re going to get busted and they’re going to see right through it. Part of the beauty of flirting on the phone is that you can let the real you shine through. Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not because you think they’ll like you better that way. Just be yourself! Be honest and kind, and stay true to who you really are. Your partner will appreciate that they are getting to know the real you instead of the person you’re trying to be.

Rich Man, Poor Woman: Dating Outside Of Your Economic Class

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Money isn’t everything. Money is no object. Money is the root of all evils. Money can’t buy you happiness. There sure are a lot of idioms and quotes about the worthlessness or evils of money. While it has an extremely important function in our society, it’s widely accepted that it has no place in a relationship. Yet it can have a way of sneaking up in a relationship and forcing its presence to be known anyways. The most common way it does this is by forcing the couple to acknowledge their differences where finances are concerned.

Will Financial Differences Tear You Apart?

A difference in economic class has a way of putting strife into an otherwise happy relationship, of even possibly splitting people apart. Simple situations like treating your partner to a fancy dinner (or worse, expecting when the check comes that they will pay half of a dinner they cannot afford) can make that person feel insecure. Maybe it’s your anniversary and your partner lavishes you with jewelry, while all you could afford for him was a card and a tie. Maybe you are planning a wedding or a vacation. You, with your enviable savings account, want a lavish wedding or two-week-long luxury cruise, while he, with only pocket lint in his account, simply cannot afford it.

These situations can inadvertently give you the upper hand in the relationship if you are the wealthier, or make you feel insignificant and unworthy if you are the poorer. It can add tension and resentment to even the most loving of pairs. One source of tension can come from you feeling like a gold-digger (someone who is with a man or woman just for the money), if your partner is always doting on you. If you are the richer of the two, you may subconsciously wonder if he or she isn’t with you simply because of your wealth.

How To Prevent Money From Destroying Your Relationship

Nevertheless, it depends on the personality of the people involved and of how they handle this situation. Maybe they have reached an understanding, in which one person doesn’t mind being doted upon. In that case, these extravagances can seem surreal and exciting, an experience he or she might not have otherwise had if not for the partner.

One unexpected benefit might be the differing viewpoints each person can provide to the other, having been raised in or living in vastly different social scenes. Maybe the more financially secure partner has insight into taxes, IRAs, or investment skills, which could be helpful to the other. Or maybe the partner who grew up poor can provide a dose of humility if the other starts throwing around their money a little too casually.

The best way to keep money from ruining your relationship is to always communicate, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may be. Discuss each of your ideas for gift-giving, for paying bills, for treating one another to dinner. With time and understanding, you may find a middle class, I mean, middle ground is possible.