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Q&A: Staying Friends After A Break Up – Is It Possible?

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Breaking up sucks, no matter how you try to think of it. If you and your partner were together for a long time, you may still really care about them and don’t want to see them leave your life, even though things aren’t working out with you romantically. Is it possible to stay friends after a break up, or is this the end?

Question: My girlfriend and I just broke up. She stills wants to be friends. I still love her so I am asking if I should try to win her heart again or try to be just friends?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7J9dnTMEDfc[/youtube]

Be Honest With Yourself – And Your Ex

If you want to win your ex back, be honest with yourself. Don’t try to be just friends with your ex if that’s not what you really want to do. You can’t hide under the ruse of being friends with your ex if you really want to be together again. First, be honest with yourself and admit to yourself that you don’t want to be just friends and that you want your relationship back. Then be honest with your ex too. Let them know you want something more, and you want to give it your all. Don’t half-ass this one. This is one thing you need to do with all your heart and soul. If you want your ex back, go get them back. Do what you need to do to make it happen.

Taking A Break

Your ex may not want to go another round in the relationship ring and if that’s the case, back off a little. Take a break from the emotional upheavel that you and your ex just experienced from the break up and relax a little. Let the air clear and let your emotions settle. If you or your ex are particularly upset or emotional about the break up, trying to be friends without giving yourself adequate time to heal can be a disaster. After you and your ex have had enough time apart to approach each other with a possible friendship, try to be just their friend. Nothing more, nothing less. See where it goes.

Letting Go

Unfortunately, not everything works out the way we want it to. If you want to win your ex back, they may want no part of it. They may not even want to be friends, or it may be vice versa. You may want to move on and your ex may still want to be in a relationship with you. Sometimes, it’s just not meant to work and it won’t, no matter how hard you or your ex try. If you feel like this might be the case, it’s time to let go. Let go of your ex, or move on from them. If you can’t make a relationship work and you can’t be friends with your ex, it’s just simply time to let go, move on and prepare yourself for better things. Letting your ex go so both of you can be happy is hard, but it’s the only way you can have a satisfying relationship in the future if you and your ex can’t work things out.

Q&A: Wife Wants 9000 Penises

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One of the biggest issues in sexually active relationships are sex drives that don’t match up between two partners. One partner may want sex all the time and the other may have a little bit more of a muted libido. What can you do if your partner wants more sex than you feel like you can physically give?

Question: My wife is a little bit….weird. She always asks for sex all the time and it’s starting to get tiring. It’s like she wants over 9000 penises and for some reason only wants to do it when she is in a closed pool. Am I doing something wrong in my relationship?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuXE5a5jllI[/youtube]

Is She Getting Satisfied During Sex?

One reason a woman may want sex all the time is if she’s just not getting satisfied during sex. She may have the desire to have sex more often to try and acheive orgasm, because she’s hoping the next time will be it. If you feel like your partner’s sex drive is much higher than yours and you’re having problems keeping up, talk to them and ask them what it is they feel like they need. Is she not achieving orgasm at all during sex? Does she want to do something differently or try something new? Ask her for her suggestions on how to improve the quality of each sex session instead of focusing so much on the quantity.

How Often Is Too Often?

How much sex is too much sex for you? Compare your sexual needs to your partner’s. Do you prefer sex only once a day, or once a week? Is your partner more of a three times a day person, or does she just like it three times a week? Her expectations might not actually be unrealistic, but they simply may just be higher than yours. Consider talking to your partner about meeting in the middle. If she wants sex five times a week and you’re fine with two, try for three or four. Talk to your partner about reaching a compromise where sex is concerned so that she can begin to feel satisfied and you’re not completely exhausted.

Is She Using Sex To Fill Other Emotional Needs?

If a woman wants sex all the time, it might not be about the sex at all. Some women use sex to fill emotional needs instead of physical ones. Does your partner need to have sex with you to feel loved, cherished or beautiful? Does she need to have sex with you all the time to get your attention or to spend time with you? Talk to your partner about how she feels about the relationship. Does she feel like it’s lacking something? Does she need more emotional fulfullment in the relationship to be happy? Plan a date night and have her buy a special outfit. Make sure to compliment her. Or take her to the park and have a picnic. Do something with her that doesn’t involve sex and connect with her on an emotional level.  Try meeting her needs emotionally and you’ll be surprised at how well that can help fulfill her sexual needs too.

Q&A: What Is Flirting?

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Guys and girls that haven’t had much experience with dating may wonder what flirting is. You’ve probably flirted or have been flirted with before, but you may not have recognized it for what it was. Here’s how to tell between flirting and just being friendly, and how to make flirting count!

Question: What is flirting? I really don’t know what that is.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTUUcVq7uqM[/youtube]

What Is Flirting?

The definition of flirting is “playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.” Flirting moves, however, aren’t necessarily limited to arousing sexual interest though – flirting is definitely a simple way to let someone know you like them and have more than friendly feelings for them. Flirting usually includes lots of eye contact and smiling, and can even include some non-sexual touching. For example, if a girl laughs loudly at your jokes, looks at you often, smiles a lot and brushes up against you or touches your leg or arm when she’s talking to you, chances are she’s flirting with you. A guy that is flirting with a girl may lean in towards her when he’s talking or brush her hair out of her eyes. The best way to identify flirting is by paying attention to their body language.

When Should You Flirt?

Flirting is appropriate any time, especially on a date or if you’re around someone you like a lot and want to be more than friends with. You can start slow so you don’t come on too strong, and work your way up from eye contact and smiling to brushing her hair back to look at hear earrings or laying your hand over hers when talking to her. If you’re shy about flirting, go out and practice flirting with a few girls at a club so you can get the hang of it. Things you don’t want to do when flirting is turn away from her, cross your arms or keep a straight face. Don’t openly flirt with someone who is with someone else, because you can definitely earn some bad blood that way.

It’s Important To Have Fun

The most important thing to remember about flirting is that it’s all about having fun. Don’t take flirting too seriously and wonder if you’re doing it wrong or getting it right. Just relax and go with the flow! Pay attention to your date’s body language and feed off of it too – you can flirt on your own or follow their lead and mimic what they’re doing. Above all though, it’s important that you stay relaxed and open to having a great time. If something awkward happens, just laugh it off! If you have trouble flirting or are shy, go somewhere you are comfortable whether it’s a club or a more intimate, one on one setting such as a coffeeshop or bowling alley. Have a few drinks if you need to loosen up, but don’t get too inebriated. If you’re unsure of how your flirting is being received, feel free to back off a bit until you’re more comfortable. Remember to be yourself – flirting isn’t an act. Your date will appreciate someone real and genuine as opposed to someone putting on.

Q&A: My Sexual Fantasies Are Taking Over My Life

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Both men and women think about sex often during the day, but most people can push those thoughts aside so they can focus on the task at hand. Some people, however, struggle with thinking about sex almost all the time and have trouble focusing on their daily life and find that the sex thoughts are taking over. Here’s what you can do if your fantasies seem to be out of control.

Question: Hello Dan and Jenn, I have a problem and I hope you can help me. I’m 25 years old and I go to university. However, I feel sometimes I cannot stay focused because I have too many sex fantasies during class. I don’t know why, but I’m starting to engage in wishful thinking quite often. Not only in class but in social situations, riding the bus, doing homework, it just happens. What can I do to stop my sex drive from affecting my grades and my life?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCDlIyRHb-c[/youtube]

Your Body Is Trying To Tell You Something

If you find that you are thinking about sex all the time, or more often than usual, your body is definitely trying to tell you something. If the fantasies overrun your life, your body isn’t getting the sexual relief it needs so it tells your brain to think about sex – a lot. Just like when your body has cravings for a certain food, your body is telling you it needs sex. This is one time that you really want to listen to your body, especially if you find that the sexual fantasies are popping up everywhere, no matter what you’re doing and you find it hard to concentrate on anything else.

Finding Sexual Relief

When you find yourself fantasizing about sex often, take some time to find some time to satisfy yourself. If you’re in a relationship with someone and are sexually active, try having sex more often or incorporating some of your fantasies in your sex life. If you’re with someone and haven’t had sex yet, think about becoming sexually active with them if there are no moral or religious reasons that are keeping you from having sex. Last but not least, one of the easiest ways to relieve sexual frustration whether you’re in a relationship or not is masturbation. To try to keep the fantasies at bay while you’re at school or work, try having sex or masturbating in the morning before you leave. If you find that you’re really struggling throughout the day, you can pop in the bathroom for a quick masturbation session if you have to. Chances are though, if you incorporate more sex or masturbation into your life at home, you’ll find that you’re just fine at work or school.

Is It A Sex Addiction?

If you can’t shake your sexual fantasies regardless of how much sex you have or how much you masturbate, you may be a sex addict. A sex addiction can really interfere with your life and make living day to day very difficult. If you think you have a sex addiction, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A counselor or specialized therapist can help you find the root of the problem so you can work towards finding a solution.

Q&A: Jealousy Over Past Lovers

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When your new boyfriend or girlfriend keeps talking about their exes, it can be frustrating. Why can’t they just get over it already? If your partner is talking about their ex a lot, it can cause feelings of jealousy and even anger. Here’s what you can do if your partner just won’t stop going on about their past relationships.

Question: What do I do if my girlfriend keeps talking about her ex-boyfriends? It’s making me really jealous and kind of angry. I don’t know how to calm down! Help me please!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wrh7rbgJAs[/youtube]

How Is She Talking About Her Exes?

Your partner can talk about her exes one of two ways. She can either diss them or talk about how great those past relationships were. If your partner talks about how frustrating it was to be with her exes (and how great it is to be with you) she may just need a sounding board to help her get over the past pain of rejection and hurt. Be there for her until she gets it all out of her system. However, it’s a bit of a different story if your partner is talking about how great her previous boyfriends were and comparing them to you. That hurts!

She’s Chosen You

When you get frustrated with your partner because they’re constantly talking about their ex partners and old relationships, take a moment to remember that she’s with you now. Those relationships are in the past and she has chosen to be with you right now. Every day, each of you makes a choice to continue to be with the other person and stay in the relationship. Remember that she chooses to be with you and stay with you every day for a reason. It’s most likely because she cares about you and enjoys being in this relationship.

Let Her Know How You Feel

If your partner is always talking about how great her past relationships were or how great her ex boyfriends were, it can really cut deep. It’s not okay to be comparing your past boyfriends to your current one out loud, because it can definitely do some relationship damage. Let your partner know how you feel by being honest with them, without being rude. She honestly may not know that her talking about her exes bothers you! Talk to her about how it makes you feel when she talks about her exes and ask her to stop doing it. If you aren’t honest with your partner about how you feel about the situation, you’re just going to sock back anger until you finally blow up at her. Don’t risk ruining the relationship like that. Take some time to really explain to your partner what it does to you emotionally when she goes on and on about her past relationships and ask her to let go of the past. Let her know that you and her are together now and this relationship is the one both of you should be focusing on, instead of staying caught up in past relationships and ex boyfriends.