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The Fast Road To Fizzling Out

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There is nothing in the world that can compare to the initial rush of a new relationship. You think of the other person every minute you are awake…and some of the hours you are asleep. Your heart aches until you can see or talk to him again. When he is around, nothing and nobody else matters.

Yet we are often told too much of a good thing can’t last. Relationships are no different. If you are not careful, this budding state of like could implode, leaving you wondering just what the heck went wrong. Here are some ways to ensure your relationship lasts beyond the initial obsession.

The #1 Mistake People Make In A New Relationship

The biggest and most common mistake people just starting a relationship make is to ignore friends. They begin spending all of their time with the significant other and forget about the lives they used to live before. When you shirk your friends in favor of the new girlfriend, not only will it make them mad…but it can also put your newfound status in danger. You need friends to remind you that she is, in fact, not a deity worthy of your worship. Moreover, the time away (not matter how brief) can be helpful to the future of your relationship.

Along those lines, don’t quit your hobbies. Making out should not replace going to the gym or building furniture, if those are activities you love to do. It is understandable that your alone-time may be reduced when you begin opting to spend more time with her. But these hobbies should not disappear completely. Remember who and what you are. That sense of self should not fade away in order to accommodate someone new in your life.

Spending Time Apart From Your New Love

What if your hobby is traveling? Sure, keep it up! Going away for a weekend and being away from him will not kill you, I promise. You can even call once or twice while gone, just to make sure he remembers you. Even if you are not traveling, skipping the couple-time for a day or two when you are busy at work or under the weather will not break the relationship. It will actually strengthen it, because you will have some time apart.

Why is time apart so important? The main problem with the intense passion of a new relationship is that it can so quickly burn out those involved. They may be happy spending every minute together…until they are suddenly annoyed with the mere presence of the other. But when you have mini-breaks, you will appreciate this person more, look forward to seeing them, and will not soon take him or her for granted.

The last thing to remember is that, early on, you may feel compelled to talk about the future of your relationship, make plans for next year, or even talk right away about marriage. Try hard to avoid these kinds of conversations until you have pulled out of this phase. These moves can very quickly push a relationship into a later stage, for which neither of you may be ready. Instead, wait to talk about such topics until you can, say, get through a day of not seeing her without crying.

Q&A: Long Distance Relationship – I Cheated! Now What?

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Long distance relationships are hard on both people. While it’s easy to communicate with each other via phone, text, chat or video cam, what lacks in a long distance relationship is physical intimacy. Humans crave physical intimacy, and many people in long distance relationships become unfaithful because they simply need to be touched. Here’s how to handle long distance relationship infidelity.

Question: I’m in a serious relationship with my current boyfriend. The thing is, I’m here in the US and he’s in England. It wasn’t always like that, we were physically together not too long ago. Anyway, in his absence I’ve been unfaithful and now I feel really guilty and bad about it. He doesn’t know, and I’m wondering if I should I tell him? And if so, should I wait until we meet up again or through the Internet medium?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCptj6rNFUo[/youtube]

Was It A One Time Affair?

Many people make the mistake of having an affair without planning it first. Most of the time, it is an unexpected, spur of the moment decision that may even have been influenced by alcohol or other substances. Many people who have an affair don’t ever plan on doing it again. Do you fall into this category? If so, it may not be as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. Everyone makes mistakes and often under the duress of a long distance relationship, an accidental affair can occur. However, if you planned the affair or have had multiple affairs, you need to stop and think about the fact that long distance relationships may not be something you can commit to.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

When it comes to telling your long distance partner about your infidelity, it is never wise to keep it a secret. Honesty is always the best policy in this situation. While you may want to wait until you and your partner are face to face to tell them what happened, you’ll be living a lie until you do. Buck up and talk to your partner about it over the phone. An actual phone conversation about it is much better and more personal then a webcam chat or even a text. Let your partner know ahead of time that you want to talk about something important so they can set aside enough time to have the conversation with you. This is not something you want to surprise them with when they’re with their buddies or doing errands.

Can You And Your Partner Move Past This, Or Is It Time To Move On?

Talk to your partner and assess how they feel about the situation. If it was a one time mistake that can be prevented in the future, ask your partner if they’re willing to forgive you and continue the relationship after the affair. If you’re truly struggling with the lack of physical intimacy in the relationship so much so that you’re going out and seeking physical intimacy from others, consider moving on from the relationship and dating someone closer to home. Ask your partner how they would like to handle the situation. If you and your partner want to continue the relationship, it would be wise to do your best to make physical intimacy between the two of you possible as much as you can.

Q&A: How Can I Get Him To Stop Watching Porn?

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Most men watch porn. Unfortunately, a lot of women want to stop their partner from watching porn. These women want their man to look only at them, and think that only they are hot or sexy. Is this a realistic outlook for how a man should behave in a relationship? Or should women relax a little bit and let a man be himself?

Question: What can I do to get my boyfriend to stop looking at porn and not say that other girls are cute/hot/sexy in front of me? I know he’d probably still say it in front of his friends but I don’t like him saying it around me.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXg-c7Clfhs[/youtube]

Men Are Visual Creatures

Men are hardwired to be turned on by visual stimulation. Unlike women, most men can’t read a book to help them get turned on. Instead, most men watch some form of pornography to help them get turned on sexually. Every man likes something different when it comes to porn, whether it’s soft nudity or something a little more hardcore. There’s nothing wrong with a man watching porn to get turned on – it’s completely natural. Unless he’s watching porn and masturbating all the time instead of having sex with you, it’s perfectly normal. He doesn’t qualify for having a porn addiction unless watching porn is something that interrupts or takes over his daily life.

Other Women Can Be Pretty

When you started dating your partner, every other girl in the world didn’t magically get ugly. Forcing him to only look at you and think you are pretty is unreasonable and controlling. It will make your partner feel as though he can’t be honest with you or be himself around you, and it can wreak havoc on your relationship. Let him look at other women, and if he makes a comment about them, so be it. As long as he’s not being derogatory and making comments about how you should look like that, there’s no harm done. Learn to have enough self confidence to know that he thinks you’re sexy and hot too – and his favorite.

Lose The Jealousy Issues

If you find yourself wanting to force your man to stop watching porn or stop glancing at other women around you, it’s time to lose the jealousy issues. It’s normal for a man to watch porn and to notice pretty women around him. What isn’t normal is having such a low self esteem that you feel the need to control your partner so that he only looks at you. Realize that your partner chose to be with you and he makes that choice again every day as he continues to be with you and have a relationship with you. That runs so much deeper than simply thinking another girl is hot or pretty, or being turned on by nakedness. Who isn’t intrigued by nudity? We’re human and it’s part of us. Talk to a counselor – they can help you build your self esteem and learn to love yourself whether your partner looks at porn and other women or not. If you don’t lose the jealousy issues, you might very well lose your man.

Q&A: What Are Some Ways To Increase Sperm Count?

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If you and your partner are having sex and trying to get pregnant, you might be worried about your sperm count. Do you have enough sperm? Should you try to increase the quantity of your sperm? There are things you can do to help increase your sperm count with very little effort on your part. Here’s what you can do if you want the maxiumum amound of little swimmers.

Question: I heard that by eating certain foods you can increase your sperm count. What are those foods, and what other ways can I increase my sperm count?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zrHm7_UxtE[/youtube]

Eliminate Toxins

While there’s no “magic food” you can eat to increase your sperm count, there are several lifestyle changes you can make that will help keep your sperm count at maximum levels. Start by eliminating any recreational or illegal drugs from your life, and try to cut back or quit smoking cigarettes if you smoke. Don’t drink alcohol often if at all, and talk to your doctor about which perscription drugs may be effecting your sperm count levels. There may be some medicines that you’re taking that will decrease your sperm count and eliminating these medicines (if possible) can help raise your sperm count. Remember to never discontinue taking a medicine your doctor has prescribed without discussing it with them first. Also, try to eliminate other toxins from your diet by eating fresh, whole foods and avoiding processed foods.

Let The Boys Breathe

Sperm don’t like extreme heat, so very hot baths, showers and hot tubs can easily decrease your sperm count. Take cooler showers and avoid taking baths or getting in the hot tub while you’re trying to get your partner pregnant. Also, tight underwear such as briefs and boxer briefs can lower your sperm levels because they hold your scrotum closer to your body and keeping sperm at a higher temperature. Try switching to loose, freeflowing boxers to allow your scrotum to stay at a temperature that maximizes sperm production.

Have Less Sex And Masturbate Less

To make sure each ejaculation is loaded with as much sperm as possible, try having sex and masturbating less often than you currently do. Frequent masturbation and frequent sex can lower sperm count because your body doesn’t have time to produce enough sperm in between ejaculations. Another way to increase your sperm count is to try to reduce your stress levels. Relax, get a massage or listen to music when you’re stressed. Try to eliminate stressful situations from your life as much as possible. If you have any questions about your sperm levels, your current medications or other ways you can increase your sperm count, visit your doctor. Your doctor is the best person to give you medical advice, based on your current health condition. If you continue to have trouble getting your partner pregnant, you can also make an appointment to visit a fertility clinic and have an analysis done on your sperm. Try making some lifestyle changes first – it’s free and may solve your problem without the time and expense spent going to a fertility clinic.

Q&A: Is It Good To Be Over-Protective of My Partner?

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Sometimes in relationships one partner becomes overprotective or even controlling. This can wreak havoc on a relationship, because more often than not, the partner being “protected” doesn’t want to be nor do they need to be. If you’re an overprotective or controlling partner, how can you overcome it?

Question: Every time I leave my girlfriend to let her go home it makes me worry about her constantly. You could say that I’m over protective. I would like to know if it’s it good to be over protective?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoH-gwXd_O0[/youtube]

Is Your Partner Really Unsafe?

Some people have had some sort of trauma in their past or even a bad relationship that causes them to be overprotective of their next partner. They maybelieve their partner is truly unsafe. Most of the time, however, your partner isn’t unsafe and doesn’t need protecting. Calling them all the time when they’re out, asking where they were or who they were with and keeping tabs on them isn’t going to make them any safer, it’s going to make them angry and frustrated. Take a look at your situation and ask yourself, if your partner is really in danger or not. Chances are, they’re not.

Are You A Control Freak?

Many people prefer to be in control in different situations, and others like to be in control of every situation. If your partner likes to go out on their own, you may feel anxious or upset at not being able to be in control of what happens when your partner is gone. Calling or texting your partner a lot while they’re out, grilling them about what they did or even giving them a “curfew” can help you feel like you’re back in control of the situation. Unfortunately, while you may feel less anxious by being able to keep tabs on your partner, they’re going to be upset with you for not feeling like they have freedom in their own situations. They may also feel like you don’t trust them.

Overcoming The Need To Feel In Control

Being a control freak or feeling the need to be in control of almost every situation isn’t healthy. It’s definitely something you want to try to overcome. Having the need to feel in control of everything can cause problems in your relationships, and even end them. Many a relationship have ended because one partner is controlling or too overprotective of the other. Think about why you feel the need to be in control or be protective of your partner, and try to figure out the root of the problem. Try to learn to relax a little bit when your partner goes out and resist the urge to call all the time or give them a certain time to be home or check in with you. You’ll find that your partner will most likely come home safe and sound, and will be relieved that you weren’t keeping tabs on them. You can overcome being a control freak on your own, but it never hurts to seek counseling so you can have someone to talk it through with.