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Female Orgasm Tip #1 – Why Relaxation Is Crucial

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Giving your partner the ultimate orgasm seems like it’s too good to be true, right? Wrong! You can absolutely become a sex god and give your woman the orgasm she craves – how? We’ll outline everything you need to know in our Female Orgasm Tips series. Read on!

Relaxation is crucial before sex for a woman to have orgasm. Fact is, almost all men overlook this CRITICAL step. If she is not relaxed before sex, there’s very little hope that she’ll ever reach orgasm. How can you get her relaxed?

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Physical And Mental Relaxation

Most women spend the day thinking about their to-do lists. You might be surprised at how often money, her job, your job, washing the dishes, making dinner and even children can crop up in her mind during the day. Unfortunately, these thoughts don’t instantly leave her mind as soon as she steps through the bedroom door. If she’s not relaxed mentally (and physically), your partner will still be thinking about doing the laundry while you and her are doing the dirty. How can you make her relax?

To give her a great orgasm, it’s your job to help her to forget the daily stresses in her life and help her feel only sexual tension. Here’s a step by step guide to getting her warmed up:

1. Setting the stage – Help your partner get into a sexy frame of mind by setting the stage for her. Dim the bedroom lights, light some candles, burn some incense and even scatter some rose petals across the bed and floor. Sure, it might sound romance-movie cliche, but it works. Your partner will walk in knowing what is in store for her tonight and begin the process of relaxation.

2. Get cleaned up – take a bath or shower together. Women love baths and showers, and this is a great way to get her to relax. Taking a bath or shower helps your partner transition mentally from a crazy, overwhelming day to an evening where she can relax and it’s all about sexual pleasure and living in the moment. Don’t underestimate the power of cleanliness either. A woman feels her best when she is clean and presentable – trying to go down on her after she’s just gotten out of the hot car after a day of exhausting work is not going to turn her on. In fact, it will probably do the opposite. You might not mind her natural smell, but in her mind, it makes her feel incredibly self conscious and she won’t be able to relax. Let her shower – you can even give her a deliciously scented bottle of new body wash as a sweet gift, and lather her up to get her physically in the mood for sex.

3. Physical relaxation – your partner may be mentally ready for sex now, but she’s probably not physically ready. Women take a long time to get warmed up – they don’t turn on like a light switch. Give your partner a sensual massage to help get her body turned on for sex. Massage her thighs, her breasts and buttocks, while kissing and licking her ears and lips. Remember, this is a sensual massage – not a “put her to sleep massage.”

Now that you know how to get your partner nice and relaxed before sex, you can increase the chances that your partner will not only have an orgasm, but have an incredible one that she won’t forget!

Think you understand Female Orgasms? Take the Orgasm Quiz and find out!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

Fun, Sexy Party Ideas

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So you want to have a fun, sexy party, but truth or dare, spin the bottle or even strip poker was SO 8th grade. What are some new, fresh and ultimately SEXY ideas you can use for a super fun adult party? Here are some of our favorites!

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Sexy Stand Ups

Sexy Stand Ups are lifesize cardboard cutouts, much like the ones of mega watt movie stars that theaters use to promote movies. Remember those nerdy but fun cutouts of Princess Leia from Star Wars or Orlando Bloom from Pirates of The Caribbean? Well, you might not want those at your adult party, but Sexystandups.com has lots of sexy, life size cardboard cutouts that you can do lots of things with! For about $39.95, you can have a huge stand up cardboard of a stripper, a Chippendale, a porn star, a hot chick in a bikini…you get the idea. Send them as a super hilarious birthday card, use them at your bachelor or bachelorette party, decorate your rec or game room with them, or even send them as a gag gift! The possibilities with sexy stand ups are endless as long as you use your imagination!

The Game

The Game – it doesn’t sound sexy at first, does it? Don’t worry – it is! It’s a grown up’s version of strip poker, spin the bottle and truth or dare and can be especially fun for swingers to play to help break the ice if you’re having a sexy swinger party. You can also use it for a tamer party – just go through the cards and remove the more advanced ones that you feel wouldn’t be appropriate. While some 8th grade party games like truth or dare or spin the bottle are pretty boring once you pass that stage of your life, The Game puts a fun, sexy adult twist on them, making them super fun to play! The Game has four different levels, with the higher levels being more risque than the lower levels. The Game also has different cards to draw from, which vary from questions to dares to fun and exciting actions that will liven your party up and get your friends interacting with each other! The Game will definitely make your fun, sexy party ideas stand out from the crowd.

Host A Sex Toy Or Lingerie Party

Many men and women are afraid to go out and purchase sex toys or lingerie by themselves, or even afraid to take the initiative to do so with their partner. Throw a sex toy or lingerie party and have a representative come over to your house and show off fun sex toys, pretty lingerie and more! Many of these parties include free samples, fun games and much, much more! Both men and women will feel more inclined to purchase some fun sex toys or some gorgeous lingerie if there’s a whole party dedicated to it and other partygoers are doing the same. Try visiting Pure Romance, Just For You Parties or Fantasy, Inc. to find out how to set up a party that will get your friends trying new things! Don’t invite just the girls or just the guys – mix it up and make it a co-ed party for even more fun, sexy entertainment!

Homemade Sex Toys – Should You Really Make Your Own?

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Homemade sex toys – you’ve heard about them. The housewife who selects a perfectly shaped cucumber at the grocery store but won’t be cooking with it, or the teenager who uses her spinning toothbrush on more than just her teeth…. With the availability of sex toys these days, not to mention just how very discreet they can be, why are people still using homemade sex toys? Are homemade sex toys safe?
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Why People Still Use Homemade Sex Toys

Both men and women still use homemade sex toys for several reasons – many people still believe that actual sex toys are hard to find or expensive, and they’re afraid of others (such as their children) finding their sex toys. Fortunately, these things just aren’t true anymore about sex toys. Many sex toys are inexpensive and a great number of them are incredibly discreet (tube of lipstick in your purse, anyone?) and no one but you will really know the difference. Sex toys are easy to buy online, will show up at your house in discreet packaging and even the transaction on your bank account will be discreet enough that someone simply looking at your bank statement won’t know what that particular transaction was about. Why not get a real sex toy?

Sex Toy Safety

While the benefits of homemade sex toys are that they’re inexpensive, readily available and discreet, they’re not worth risking your health with. Homemade sex toys aren’t safe – some of them can injure your most sensitive areas and even carry bacteria that can cause you serious infections that are expensive to treat under a doctor’s care. It’s not worth taking the risk! Read on about some of the great – and inexpensive – sex toys that you can use that will make your masturbation sessions better and safer.

Boy Toys

While a number of men masturbate with their hands, some men are into finding “toys” that they can masturbate with to try to recreate the feeling of a mouth or a vagina. Men have been known to use fruit, fabric, pillows and even harsh toilet paper rolls! Come on guys! Most sex toy stores and websites have silicone masturbators that you can use instead, that are soft and squishy and have a number of pleasure enhancing factors. A plain silicone masturbator is truly inexpensive, but for a real treat, you can try one with firm pleasure beads inside or one that is ridged or studded. Some are even shaped like anuses, mouths and vaginas to make masturbating even more fun! They’re safe too – just remember to use plenty of water based lubricant!

Girl Toys

While some men do use homemade sex toys, women are the ones who really get a bad rap about it. Women have been known to use everything from vegetables to hairbrushes to bottles and everything in between. There are a variety of sex toys available for women though, most of them so discreet you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart from a curling iron or even a fancy pen. Plus, homemade sex toys don’t vibrate! Real sex toys are easy to clean, and you don’t have to worry about bacteria that could cause an infection. They’re not expensive either! Real sex toys will give you everything you want in a toy, but without the worries that come along with homemade sex toys. If you are going to use a homemade sex toy though, throw a condom on it first to protect yourself.

Ready to graduate from homemade sex toys to the real thing?

Top 5 FREE Sex Education Resources

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Sex education – it’s a touchy topic and it’s everywhere. But what is modern sex education teaching us and our youth? Are we being honest about sex, or does today’s “sex education” leave much to be desired? We’re going to give you our 5 favorite FREE sex education resources, so you can start filling in the gaps, whether you’re educating yourself or educating someone else.

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Your Local Health Department

Your local health department is probably step one when it comes to getting the best free or reduced cost health and sex services. Believe it or not, your local health deparment will provide services including free or reduced cost physical exams, breast exams and pap smears, as well as sexually transmitted disease testing and sexually transmitted infection treatment. Many health departments offer free birth control supplies including condoms and birth control pills, as well as other hormonal birth control methods such as the IUD, the diaphragm, the birth control ring or the birth control patch or shot.

Find your local health department by visiting Health Guide USA and clicking on “local health departments.”

SexEtc.org

SexEtc.org is a great sex education resource for teens. It’s an easy to navigate website with full feature videos, forums and articles on the sex topics teens really want to know about. The best thing about SexEtc.org? It’s written by teens, for teens! Most teenagers hate the “condescending” feel of sex education from adults, and SexEtc.org gives teens the information they need from their very own peers. Teens can even chat and participate in polls on everything from their first time to homophobic bullying and more. If you are a teen or are a teen’s parent, definitely check out SexEtc.org!

Scarleteen.com

Scarleteen.com is another teen oriented sex education website with lots of useful information presented in a way that teens and even young adults can understand and relate to. This website is article heavy, but the articles are precisely on the topics that teens today want to know about, such as male reproductive choices, how guys can prevent rape and even more topics for girls! When researching sex ed topics, be sure to look at several credible websites and use your own judgement – most of the time, if you see similar information on a topic come up again and again on different websites, you can trust that the information is reliable.

Positive.org

The message given by Positive.org is a simple yet powerful one – you have the right to complete and honest sex education! A little less colorful than some of the other teen centered websites, Positive.org appeals not only to many teens but also adults of all ages who want the straight facts on sex. This site is a little more difficult to navigate, but talks about every sex topic you could possibly want to know about, including information about STD’s and STI’s, homosexuality, teen sex, safer sex, pregnancy prevention and much, much more.

Sexuality.org

Sexuality.org is a more adult oriented sex education website and is like an online book with lots of information available. Read articles about sexuality topics, review guides on educational books and videos, and check out transcripts of presentations from popular therapists, doctors and other notable figures. Sexuality.org offers lots of different perspectives on topics from erotic massage, tantra and BDSM, as well as other sex education topics such as pregnancy, birth control and STD and STI prevention.

How To Get Her To Love Anal Sex

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You like anal sex – but your partner doesn’t, or maybe she just hasn’t tried it before. If you want anal sex to become a larger part of you and your partner’s sex life, you need a good approach to convince your partner that anal sex can be something you both enjoy. How can you get her to love anal sex?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend doesn’t like anal sex but I do. I mean, I really do! It’s something I want to experience with her – how can I get her to do it with me?

–Jason, MO

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Give Her A Hint

If you want your partner to really get into anal sex, the best method of approach isn’t a blunt one. Hint at anal sex during regular sex by caressing your partner’s buttocks during sex, tickle her anus with a feather or your fingers and perhaps even get her involved with playing around your anus. Don’t do anything drastic at this point – if she’ll let you, a little hot finger play around her anus is all you want to go for right now. Start hinting around in this manner with your partner a month or two before you really want to take the plunge into anal sex. She’ll really need a mental warm up before she’s ready.

Get Her Emotionally Ready

Believe it or not, anal sex is a huge emotional step for a woman. It’s a “taboo” and very submissive act. She’ll need time to get mentally prepared for anal sex, so a couple weeks after you start introducing the light finger play, talk to her about anal sex. You don’t necessarily have to have a “sit down” talk with her about it – that might actually intimidate her. Try watching a pornography together that features anal sex and talk to your partner about how much it turns you on. Watch your language though – make sure she gets the idea that it would turn you on to have her do that with you and not that you simply think anal sex is hot.

If She’s Interested

If you’ve gotten your partner to accept the idea of having anal sex with you, congrats! It’s not over yet though. If you want to have anal sex with your partner more than once, it’s important to make sure that you make this experience a positive one for her. First, get a good, solid bottle of water based lubricant. Don’t be shy with it either! Make sure you use plenty of lubricant. The anus is not self lubricating, so use as much lubricant as you like – you definitely can’t use too much! Start slow and be gentle – the anus is not a place to have rough sex. It’s not made to accommodate something go in, so it can tear quite easily. Give your partner a lot of warm up time, and give yourself time to enjoy it!

Extra Tips

Always wash your penis after anal sex. Bacteria can spread, especially to the vagina. Never insert your penis into the vagina after anal sex unless you’ve thoroughly washed it, because your partner can get some pretty nasty infections that way. If you’re not in a faithful, monogamous relationship with someone who is STD and STI free, wear a condom during anal sex. Anal sex actually has a higher rate of STD and STI transmission than traditional intercourse! If you just want to be safe, wear a condom anyway. After having anal sex with your partner, make sure you tell her you love her and that you still respect her!