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Should A Hot Young Girl Meet Older Well Endowed Men Online?

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Online dating, or online introductions, really, opens you up to contact with people of all different shapes, sizes, ages and walks of life. You’ll meet different types of people that you probably would never have met otherwise, and exploring this can be really fun.

What should you do if you happen to find yourself interested in older men online? Should you respond?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am an 18-and-a-half year old female who is considering heightening my age limit for dating and having sex with men to 28 or 29. I am a very mature and intellectual person. I recently joined an online dating site and several very nice, well-educated and well-endowed men who are 10 years older than me have messaged me and I’m debating whether I should talk to them or not. Is a 10 year gap when you’re 18-and-a-half always something to avoid or can it be okay?

— Sarah in California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF9As1a2Ar8[/youtube]

The Age Gap

As long as you’re a legal adult, you’re definitely free to date anyone you choose that is, as long as they’re a legal adult as well. Beyond that, there’s really nothing keeping you from finding interest in older men online, or even in real life, except your own needs, wants and expectations.

That said, it’s important to explore how you feel about a huge age gap between someone you are interested in online. Does it make you uncomfortable in any way? Might it make the other person uncomfortable? Are you all for it, or do you have some reservations?

Actually sitting down and really thinking about the possibility of dating someone online and even having a real life relationship with someone a lot older than you can lend some insight into the situation. This isn’t a decision that you want to make quickly or lightly, but if it’s something you really want, go for it! Just make sure you’re really ready and you’ve thought everything through first.

Different Levels Of Maturity

Sure, many women are more mature than men at an earlier age. Who doesn’t know that? But something you definitely want to consider is how very different your life can be from a man that is a lot older than you.

For example, you might never have attended college, but your dating prospect might have been through college, graduated and is divorced with two kids. It’s important to consider what you are looking for when you’re introducing yourself to other people online.

What Are You Looking For?

Are you looking for a casual relationship only? Then dating a man that is divorced with two kids might not necessarily be an issue for you. If you’re looking for something long term, or want to consider the possibility of building a real relationship with someone, it’s definitely important to think about the differences you might have.

You may find that it’s hard to relate to older men, simply because your lives are so different at the particular age you are each at. Then again, you might find it easier to relate to them if you have been through some similar situations.

You will probably want to get to know them a little bit online before meeting them, just to find out if you really have any similar ground to stand on.

Simply put, you just need to think it through. Spend plenty of time thinking about what your wants and needs are when it comes to online dating and dating an older man, and spend plenty of time talking to your dating prospect online to get to know each other before you make a big leap into any kind of relationship.

As with anything, just make sure it’s something you really want and go from there.

Can Masturbation Help Prevent Getting Erections At The Wrong Time?

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It’s every guy’s worst nightmare – having an erection at the wrong time, whether you’re in class, at the office or on a casual date with a girl you really like.

Having an erection at the wrong time can be embarrassing and it can be even more embarrassing and frustrating trying to hide it.  Can masturbating often or at the right times help prevent unwanted erections?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do you know if it is a common occurrence for a guy to masturbate not so much for the direct pleasure (although it is nice) but to not have any “urges”? I often masturbate so I won’t get them at the “wrong” times. Is that a common occurrence?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN1mTyTuqlc[/youtube]

Erections are a natural thing!

An erection for a man is his body’s way of letting him know that there’s tension there,sexual or not, that needs to be relieved. It signals arousal but there are times where a man can get an erection and he’s not thinking about sex nor is he aroused at all.

An erection is simply when extra blood flows to the penis, making it stiffer instead of more relaxed. This can happen often and it is known for happening at some of the most inopportune times.

Masturbating to relieve tension.

Almost every man (if not every man) masturbates at some time or another. Many men masturbate often, especially if they’re not sexually active, while some masturbate less.

However often a man needs to masturbate is generally considered healthy, with the exception of often forgoing sexual intercourse with your partner in lieu of masturbation or masturbating to the point of physical harm.

Masturbating helps to relieve tension and yes, it can help to prevent erections at the wrong time.

When to masturbate?

Many men masturbate in the mornings before a day at the office so they can put the focus on their work, while others prefer to masturbate less often. If you want to use masturbation as a means to prevent unwanted erections, try going without masturbation for a few days and note when your erections seem to happen.

Do they happen at a certain time or when you see a certain person? Learn your triggers. There may be more than a few and sometimes it can be hard to figure out what the triggers are, but it’s helpful to have at least a little background knowledge on when you seem to get unwanted erections before you use masturbation as a tool to prevent them.

Use your triggers to prevent unwanted erections.

Once you figure out roughly when and why you’re having these erections, you can use masturbation to help prevent them.

If you find that the majority of your erections happen in the afternoon, perhaps you can go home on your lunch break and relieve some of the tension.

If you find that your unwanted erections seem to happen before a big date or in the evenings, try masturbating right when you get home from work or before the date to help keep your penis from becoming erect when you’re trying to focus on other things.

Regular masturbation for men, and women, is healthy and helps keep the body and sexual organs healthy. Masturbation and the resulting orgasms can be a source of stress relief for both men and women and can help men from becoming erect when they least expect it or want to be erect.

If you have a sexual partner, you can also use regular sexual intercourse or other types of sex to relieve tension in the same way.

How Can I Please My Partner With My Small Penis?

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Penis size is a big issue for men – literally. Many men feel like their penises aren’t large enough. While the majority of these men are perfectly well equipped for most women and men, there is a small percentage of the male population that does actually have a small penis.

How can someone with a small penis still please their partner?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have an undersized genitalia (penis.. haha.. oopsys!!!). I want to know how I can still pleasure my male or female partner despite my disability. Thank you

–Alfonso, TX

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kh0dz-IdnfQ[/youtube]

Sex isn’t all penetration, you know.

For women, and some men, sex isn’t all about penile penetration.  For women, penile penetration is only a very small part of sex with their partners.  Unless a woman is already excited and has been fully aroused before penetration, she won’t be very sexually responsive to penetration all on its own whether you’re large, medium or small!

A woman needs to be sufficiently warmed up before penile penetration of any size will feel good. With that said, there’s much more to sex than just penetration.  There is all types of genital massage that can help warm a woman up and even bring her to orgasm that way, and of course there is always oral sex.

Many women achieve better and more frequent orgasms through oral sex anyways, regardless of their partner’s penis size. You can also incorporate a number of sex toys into the bedroom, including vibrators, lubes and more.

Penis extenders, pumps, etc.

If you’re bent on obtaining a larger penis, with some investment it can be done. You can purchase penis extenders that are somewhat like “dildos” that simply fit onto the penis, adding inches to the end, or you can purchase a penis pump that forces more blood to fill the penis, therefore making it larger.

There are some types of surgery as well that can help enhance penis size. If you’re considering taking any drastic measures to enlarge your penis, you should speak with your doctor.

Talk to your partner.

Men who are afraid that their small penis won’t please their partner should definitely talk to their partner about how they can improve their sex lives. To be frank, the majority of partners of men who are afraid they have penises that are too small are actually still pretty satisfied with their partner’s genitals.

If you’re concerned that your partner finds your penis too small, talk to them. You might find that your partner is perfectly happy with the size of your member, even if you’re not.

If your partner does find that your penis doesn’t quite cut it, together you and your partner can come up with ways to overcome that before resorting to any drastic measures. For example, you might find that your partner would like a little more oral sex, or a little more foreplay before sexual intercourse.

If you’re concerned that your penis is a little too small, it’s important to do what you can to help relieve the situation. Life is too short to be unhappy with your sexual performance!

You can talk to your partner to find out what they would like to see happen in the bedroom, or you can incorporate a number of sex toys and lubricants into your sexual repertoire to help increase you and your partner’s sexual pleasure.

If you’re still not satisfied with the size of your penis or your sexual performance, you can try extenders or talk with your doctor about more permanent options.

Be Sure Your Relationship is Built on Real Love, Not Sympathy…

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When does love get confused for sympathy? Well simply when one has only received attention or caring, which they then interpret as "love", from others as a result of they’re being ill, depressed, or compromised in some way.

In other words they draw the "love" to themselves only when they take on what is a compromised position in their life.

Why It’s Bad

Unfortunately this can set in motion a behavior pattern where the individual feels this is the only viable way they can elicit "love" from others. I keep placing the quotations on the word love because clearly what is being received is not love at all.

Instead it is likely driven by feelings of sympathy that the individual unconsciously attempts to evoke in others .

In doing so they have accomplished two things.

First, they have adopted a victim like stance in relation to others. This is equivalent to making themselves appear helpless and believe themselves to be such.

Secondly by doing the above they have attempted to make others feel responsible for them in a somewhat underhanded or manipulative manner. They feel this is necessary because they’ve never experienced receiving love in any other way thus, deep down believe themselves to be unlovable. In this they a sense an emptiness that must be filled in the only way they know how.

A Recipe For Destruction

Unfortunately this is a recipe for destruction of  their relationships  as others begin to tire of their repeated efforts to "steal" some "love".

This pattern is commonly experienced in many relationships and in some cases has become the foundation upon which they are  formed. It’s also a big reason why many relationships fail.

So what can be done about this problem?

Well, first one must recognize that it exists.

Next one must recognize its destructive nature on their relationships and their lives.

Finally one must make a choice to release this destructive pattern and reconnect to the well spring of love which lives right inside them.

It may surprise you that indeed one of the reasons one feels disconnected from this inner source of love is because of the existence of programmed early memories of the kind mentioned earlier i.e. of getting "love" when down.

These memories keep one disconnected from one’s inner love thus making them feel the emptiness inside that compulsively drives the destructive attention seeking behavior.

By releasing the memories this program becomes extinguished easily and rapidly and the emptiness is replaced with feelings of self love, wholeness, completeness and a sense of OK’ness.

Should I Act On My Threesome Fantasy?

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If you’re interested in having a threesome with your friends, you might be a little intimidated about how to approach the situation. Even if you or your friends have hinted at it or joked about it before, it can seem a little awkward bringing up the topic seriously.

How can you approach that subject with your friends without risking anything?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m 34 years old and have recently won a 3 yr battle with cancer. I have a new lease on life and want to live it to the fullest. I have an absolute best guy friend, “Rick”, who is dating my best friend “Abbie”. I have been thinking a lot lately about having a threesome with “Rick” and “Abbie”. I’m just not sure how to broach the subject with either of them. “Rick” and I have joked about it a few times before but I always brushed it aside… Now, how should I go about approaching the subject for real? I love them both, and I don’t want anyone hurt at all.

–Amanda, Kentucky

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-MFRWraxBQ[/youtube]

Your Friends Are Your Friends

First off, if your friends are really your friends, especially if they’ve joked about it before, they’re not going to hang you just for suggesting a threesome for real. You’re all adults and you can talk about the topic as adults.

Simply bring it up, possibly over a glass of wine or after a nice meal, and discuss the situation. Let them know that you’ve been running the idea through your head and it might something you want to try.

Be honest with them. In turn, you’ll find they’ll be honest with you. They might say it was something they were only joking about and they’re not comfortable trying that with you at this point.

That’s okay! Then again, they might say it’s something they’re open to experiencing. You won’t know until you talk to them about it.

When The Mood Is Right

Okay, so you don’t want to approach the topic of having a threesome with your friends over a quick breakfast before work, or when the kids are acting up. If you wait until the mood is right, however, you’ll most likely get the more honest response.

For example, your friends might really be into the idea, but if they’re rushed or otherwise occupied, they’re probably going to brush the idea off.

Approach your friends alone when everyone is at ease and laughing with each other. You’ll get a much better response that way!

Talking About The Details

Some of the most important things to discuss when you approach the topic of having a threesome with your friends is the what, who, when and where. Don’t be afraid to discuss details. For example, would you like to first try a threesome without sexual penetration at all? Will there be condoms involved? How will the subjects of STD’s and possible pregnancy be handled?

What makes you uncomfortable about having a threesome? What turns you on about it? Hashing out the details of the threesome before you actually have one will leave less awkwardness to be had afterwards.

Without talking about the details beforehand, you risk things becoming weird during the threesome if someone does something someone else isn’t comfortable with, and you also run the risk of having things become weird afterwards as well.

Talk about the threesome before with your friends, but also talk to them afterwards as well. Remember that everyone is an adult and that the threesome and things within the threesome can be discussed as adults. Even if the threesome didn’t go as planned, or it really wasn’t your cup of tea, it’s nothing to be ashamed about or embarrassed about.

Just talk to your friends and be honest with them. Similarly, if you really enjoyed the threesome, be sure to be honest with them about that as well! Talk to your friends about the possibility of another threesome. You’ll never know if you don’t approach the topic though!