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I’ve Shown My Commitment to Him. Now Why Won’t He Propose?

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You’re in a committed relationship. You’ve shown your commitment to your partner in one way or the other, and now you’re ready for them to show theirs. Will they propose? When will you get the ring? How can you let your partner know that you’re ready to take the next step?

While approaching your partner and flat out telling them they need to propose is not necessarily a good idea, there are ways to communicate your emotional needs about commitment to your partner without putting the pressure on.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been with by BF for 2.5 years – both divorced with kids. I am moving an hour away from my work & family to be closer to him. Thing is, now that I have shown my commitment by buying a house and moving closer to him, I would like for him to show his and give me a ring.

We don’t intend to marry for several years yet but I would love that we are sharing with our children & families that we ‘intend’ to one day. I am taking a huge step and it would be a wonderful representation of his efforts if we could have that symbol. Marriage is not important to him as he feels committed without that.

How do I share that a ring is not just a material object to me, without pushing him away?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL3oY11Q0Bo[/youtube]

Why Are You Looking For A Ring?

Often, people will keep scores in their relationships. They may feel that because they did something for their partner, they’re owed something in return. Is this why you’re looking for a ring? You’ve proved your love and commitment, and now you feel it’s time for them to prove theirs. Is this healthy? Actually, it’s not.

Relationships aren’t about keeping score or proving anything. You’re with your partner because you love them and you do things for them because you love them. This is what makes a relationship beautifully dynamic! If you’re looking for a ring so your partner can “prove” their love to you, you might be looking for the wrong reasons.

This doesn’t mean you have to give up all hopes of getting a ring, however. For many people, rings are a symbol of commitment and they’re a wonderful way to share your love with each other.

Telling Your Partner What A Ring Means To You

If a ring would mean a lot to you emotionally, you’re certainly entitled to let your partner know how you feel. The important part of letting your partner know what’s going on in your mind is not to tell your partner that they “have” to give you a ring, or that they “should.”

Let your partner know what a ring symbolizes to you and how having one would make you feel. Keep the discussion about how you feel, and not what you expect. This will keep the conversation from going downhill and backfiring.

What If They’re Not Ready?

You may let your partner know that you’re ready to take the next step and that having a ring would mean a lot to you, only to have your partner let you know that they’re not ready. It might be an emotional blow, but if your partner isn’t ready, they’re just not ready. Don’t force your partner into engagement or marriage.

They should be able to take that step when they feel comfortable, not because you’ve forced them to. Accept that your partner isn’t ready for marriage or engagement and leave it alone. If you love each other and you’re committed to each other, you can wait it out until your partner is ready to make the next step.

Focus on your positive relationship and how much you and your partner love each other rather than focusing on what “isn’t” happening. Let your relationship take its natural course. Both you and your partner will be happier knowing that you gave your relationship time to grow and mature, and only when the time was right did you move on to the next step. Sometimes, things are worth waiting for!

Can I Get STDs From Masturbation?

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Masturbation is a great pleasure for both men and women. It can relieve stress and satisfy sexual desires without having intercourse with someone else.

You might be curious, however, if masturbation falls in the same category as sex, oral sex and erotic massage when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases.

While you can’t transmit or contract STD’s from masturbation or toys, unless you share your toys with someone else, does that mean you’re safe from everything?

If I masturbate without toys (just with my hands) can I get and STDs or other sicknesses?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmYMBgOoyT8[/youtube]

The Skinny On STD’s

Sexually transmitted diseases are spread when an infected person shares bodily secretions or blood with another person. This usually happens during sex, but it can be transmitted in other ways as well, as long as secretions are shared. While you can contract a sexually transmitted disease from another person if they’re infected, it’s very difficult to contract a sexually transmitted disease if you’re simply masturbating.

This would only happen if your hands happened to come into contact with an infected person’s bodily secretions and these secretions made their way into your genitals by being passed on from your hands. This can actually be prevented with simple hand washing. In light of this, however, masturbation is the second safest sex next to no sex at all. If you’ve never had any sexual partners, you can’t transmit STD’s to yourself through masturbation, as well as if you’ve recently been tested for STD’s and haven’t had a sexual partner since.

Simply put, if your hands come into contact with any bodily fluids of another person, such as blood, semen or vaginal secretions, and then you masturbate, there is a very small possibility that you can contract STD’s through masturbation. How can you make absolutely sure you’re safe?

Simply Safe

Being a safe masturbator is actually fairly simple. Always keep your hands clean and make sure they’re washed before masturbation. Even if you don’t have any sexual partners, bacteria on hands that haven’t been washed can cause an infection.

Easy As Soap and Water

If you use toys during masturbation, make sure your toys are clean before each and every use as well. Soap and warm water will do the trick, although there are special cleaners for sex toys available at many stores and online.

It’s safer not to share your sex toys with other people, but if you do, make sure they’re washed in between each use and in between each partner. By washing your hands and your sex toys regularly and keeping them clean, you can keep any bacteria or other infectious organisms at bay.

While there is a very small, almost non-existent chance of contracting an STD from masturbation if you’ve been sexually active with other partners and have gotten blood or bodily fluids on your hands, regular hand washing and hand washing before masturbation will pretty much eliminate any risk involved.

Unless you’re abstaining from any sexual contact with yourself and others, masturbation is the safest form of sex around. Make sure you’re masturbation habits include good hygiene and you can enjoy relieving stress and satisfying your sexual desires without worry.

Hard Nipples – Does It Mean She Is Happy To See Me?

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Many guys are under the impression that when a girl has hard nipples that she is aroused. Hard nipples are usually a turn on for most men, so it’s easy to see why men get so excited by the sight of hard nipples.

Women on the other hand, know that hard nipples don’t always mean they are aroused. There are numerous causes and reasons that cause women’s nipples to get hard.

So, you see a girl with her nipples poking seductively through her shirt… Does it REALLY mean that she’s “happy” to see you?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cS4sKCx0bc[/youtube]

Why Do Women’s Nipples Get Hard?

Women’s nipples get hard for a variety of reasons.  When it’s a cold day out, it can cause a woman’s nipples to become erect, but it doesn’t change the fact that it is a turn on to see them. It could also be from the rubbing of the nipples on whatever shirt she happens to be wearing. Some women’s nipples are more sensitive than others, so any stimulation might make them hard.

It could be because she is excited (not sexually) over something. It is caused by the sudden rush of blood through the body that causes the nipples to become erect. The nipple and areola contain muscle fibers that respond to stimulation to make the nipple hard. When the nipple is stimulated, the muscle fibers will contract, the areola will pucker, and the nipples become hard.

A similar reaction takes place when the surrounding air and atmosphere is cold. The skin raises the hairs on your body in an attempt to trap as much heat close to the body causing the muscle fibers to once again contract and the nipples to become erect.

So while a woman’s nipples might become erect because she is happy to see you, it might be for another reason entirely.

Is It Okay To Look?

We know that hard nipples are a turn on for men, but here is the real question:  Is it okay for men to look at a woman’s nipples when they are hard? Men are constantly sneaking peeks at woman’s breasts but when a woman’s nipples become erect they become magnets for attention.

Women, on the other hand, may not be looking for this kind of attention. They can’t really control their nipples to make them not get hard and it’s difficult to hide once they do become erect.

It’s Only Natural

It’s natural for men to become aroused by hard nipples, and naturally they’re going to look.  It’s human nature for a man.

A woman knows that her nipples can get hard at whim, so if she’s uncomfortable with the attention she may get if her nipples become erect, she can take steps to make sure any unwarranted attention stays at bay.

Keeping Them In Check

Thicker pads in bras are a good way to help hide erect nipples if a woman is seeking to avoid unwanted attention. She can wear clothing and fabric that doesn’t cause as much rubbing and sensation on the nipples to help keep them from getting hard.

On the other hand, however, men should be polite in public when glancing at a woman’s erect nipples and not obviously gawk or stare at them. It’s a two way street.

Sure, it’s possible that her hard nipples may be a sign that she’s into you, but that doesn’t mean she wants you to stare. Ladies, if you don’t want men to stare, do your best to cover them up!

Can I Get AIDS From Oral Sex?

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Oral sex is a great way to share yourself with your partner, if you’re ready, without having sexual intercourse. It may be tempting to think that since oral sex isn’t actually sex that it reduces or eliminates the risk of contracting AIDS, HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases.

Sadly, this isn’t true. Oral sex presents just as much of a risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease as anal sex, vaginal sex or any other type of sex. How can you protect yourself?

If you have oral sex can you get AIDS or any type other type of sickness or disease?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ESsRDd1tbA[/youtube]

Blood and Bodily Fluids

Most sexually transmitted diseases are transferred through blood or bodily fluids. This makes it extremely easy for someone to give or contract sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex. For example, HIV and AIDS are present in semen, vaginal secretions and blood. If a person giving oral sex has recently brushed their teeth, small scrapes may remain in the mouth and on the gums even though the person can’t feel them.

Performing oral sex and taking bodily fluids, whether it’s vaginal or penile fluids, into their mouth can easily cause the transmission of the disease. Curable infections, such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis still cause a lot of damage and can easily be transmitted through oral sex.

A particularly unfavorable infection is when these types of diseases actually take host in the mouth and throat. A virus such as this doesn’t discriminate from one warm, wet place to another and will be just as happy in a throat as they are in a penis or a vagina.

The only way to completely prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases is to stay completely abstinent, but this is often completely unrealistic as most couples want to experience each other sexually as part of their relationship.

It’s important to take steps to protect yourself if you’re thinking of having oral sex with a new partner or a partner that hasn’t been tested for STD’s or who may have not been monogamous.

Staying Safe

An easy way to significantly reduce the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases through oral sex is to use protection. For male oral sex, a condom is an inexpensive, easy way to protect from giving or receiving any diseases. A condom doesn’t make transmission impossible, but the risk is greatly reduced. There are a number of flavored and scented condoms that are created specifically to make oral sex enjoyable for both partners.

For female oral sex, there is a square piece of latex or silicone that is called a “dental dam.” These are also inexpensive and make vaginal oral sex much safer for both the receiver and the giver. A dab of lube on the inside of the dental dam can make the sensations of oral sex very similar to those without a dental dam.

When engaging in any type of sex with someone, whether it’s oral sex or intercourse, it’s important to be smart and safe. Take steps to protect yourself and your partner and if you’re ready to be monogamous and want to have sex or oral sex without protection, get tested.

If you’re sexually active and have multiple partners over a period of time, it’s important to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases regularly as well as using protection. You can have a lot of fun with your partner and prevent the contraction of many diseases by taking a few simple steps to protect everyone involved!

Online Dating – Can I Really Fall In Love Online?

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With the invention of the Internet and dating websites, the world of dating has opened up doors for millions of people to meet like-minded others.

You might meet someone who you fall really hard for and are convinced that it was meant to be, but is it?

Can you really fall in love online?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been chatting with this guy online line and we’ve really hit it off. Is it possible to fall in love with someone without meeting them in person?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDaPuv1yrwY[/youtube]

The Power Of Imagination

Meeting someone online with whom you get alone is a wonderful, beautiful thing. It’s amazing to be able to introduce yourself to someone online and get to know them a little bit without the awkwardness that traditional dating can sometimes bring. However, keeping a relationship confined to a dating website or to email or webcams can severely limit the growth of the relationship.

How can you be sure that you truly love this person when you know so little about them? It’s impossible to learn everything about someone through an online dating site or through email or even phone conversations. You may feel like you love this person, but what really happens is that your imagination “fills in the gaps.”

Whatever you don’t know about them is something your imagination comes up with and you end up being in love with a semi-fictional but realistic person. Sadly, even if you do meet up with this person after dating online for awhile, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. It would be impossible for them to live up to what you’ve dreamed up about them.

Online Introductions

That doesn’t mean you have to swear off online dating websites entirely. They’re a great way to meet people in your area that have similar interests and enjoy doing the same things as you. If you meet someone online, however, it’s important to keep the online part strictly an introduction.

Meet in Person

Arrange to meet them during the day in a public place, such as a nice café for lunch, and start getting to know them in person. You’ll learn all sorts of things about them that you never could online. What do they smell like? What is their body language like? These are truly the things that can make or break the deal. If you and your new match hit it off, you can spend time growing and cultivating a real life relationship – something that can last!

Dealing With Disappointment

If you’ve fallen in love with someone online only to watch it fizzle out over a few months, you’re not alone. Human beings need intimate human contact. It’s actually something we need to survive. An online relationship does not fulfill that need but sadly, most people who enter the world of online dating don’t find this out until they’ve had their heart broken or end up disappointed in a lackluster relationship.

If you’ve been disappointed with an online relationship, don’t let it get the best of you. Open your heart and be ready to receive love again, even if it is online.

You can set yourself up for dating success by keeping the online part to an “introduction” and moving the relationship into real life where you can truly get to know someone. You may end up finding the love of your life and experiencing the most fulfilling relationship you’ve ever had. Just give it a real chance instead of keeping it on screen.