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Blue Pill Anyone? Maybe It’s Time for Some Natural, Herbal Viagra Alternatives

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Unless you’ve been under a rock for the last few years, you know that every middle aged man has at the very least thought about getting his hands on some of those magical little blue pills.

Viagra and Cialis are everywhere!

Are Male Erectile Dysfunction Pills Actually Safe?

Of course, we’ve all heard the TV commercials that tell you about the great benefits, but then in a hushed voice warn you to “seek immediate medical attention if an erection lasts more than four hours”. Huh? What exactly are these pills doing to our bodies?

Modern medicine has a great track record for fixing broken bones and major injuries resulting from accidents. But results have been downright disappointing for medications. And then there’s the major fun fact that almost no medication actually fixes anything – it’s all a long term maintenance plan for life. Ouch!

What IS absolutely amazing is the results people see with natural, herbal supplements.

What About Natural, Herbal Viagra Alternatives?

Let’s put it this way…

I took blood pressure medication for years (250 milligrams a day in the last year), and according to my doctor, I could expect to take it (in ever increasing quantities) for the rest of my life. Cool, huh?

Until one day I said “that’s enough”! I started reading up on natural alternatives, i.e. stuff that doesn’t require prescriptions. At least not yet – that’s a government control topic for another day…

A good friend of ours who’s very familiar with holistic (natural) treatments recommended some herbal supplements, and a daily meditation program. So I started taking those supplements and began the 30 minute daily meditation program, with an open mind and a hope for better health.

Amazingly enough, my blood pressure was completely GONE within the first 3 months of this new program. And 3 years later, by blood pressure is still gone. By the way, I only took the supplements for 3 months – not for the rest of my life!

Are Herbal Supplements Safe?

Like most everything else, some are and some aren’t. Just like drugs from your local pharmacy, some will be completely harmless and some will have nasty side effects. You have to be smart, do your homework, and know what you’re putting into your body. If you do actually read up and do a little research, you’ll quickly know what natural alternatives are available for what ever’s ailing you.

Guess what – you should do the SAME level of research when you buy a big name drug. Just because it comes on TV, doesn’t mean it’s safe and won’t have side effects for you.

Benefits of Natural  Supplements Over Prescription Drugs

Are you tired of paying a massive premium and jumping through hoops to get your hands on those pricey blue pills? One major problem with Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs is the price.

Ever hear of herbal Viagra? Yes, there are various natural, herbal treatment options coming on the market to treat erectile dysfunction, but at a fraction of the price. Tired of paying $15 per pill? Some of the herbal options go for $1 to $2 per pill.

Better yet, many herbal supplements have been around for hundreds or thousands of years; they haven’t been rushed out of the Big Pharma Corp in time for the major product launch of the “blue pill“, the “purple pill”, or whatever color we’re pushing this month. Do you ever wonder why they make them such pretty colors?

Then there’s the hassle and red tape, and all the time involved in getting a prescription, juggling your insurance coverage, playing the “co-payment” game to see what is and isn’t covered this month, and so on. All those fun reasons we try to avoid pharmaceuticals whenever possible.

And of course there are the side effects. Ever try reading the side effects on most medicines you purchase these days? Scary!!! People not only get sick and have crazy reactions, but many actually die from side effects of modern medicines. Perhaps it’s the over commercialization of modern medicine that pushes out products before they’re actually ready (something we so often see in the software industry). Regardless, fact is modern medicine offers many benefits for emergency situations, but has a LOT of growing to do when it comes to solving regular problems like erectile dysfunction and high blood pressure.

Herbal supplements tend to be significantly safe and have few if any side effects. Again, research anything you’re going to put into your body, but all in all you’re probably much safe when you go natural.

Maybe it’s time to give the natural, herbal approach a try. And instead of spending a fortune on a bottle of Viagra, maybe you should consider giving natural, herbal Viagra a try.

Rock Star Syndrome – Are You In Love With Him or the IDEA of Him?

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Every little girl grows up wanting to be a beautiful princess. So is it any wonder that young girls are so attracted to rock stars, movie stars, and pop idols?

After all, they’re waiting for their gorgeous prince to ride in and rescue them, after which they’ll fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. And in today’s world, these guys are the closest thing they’ll find to a prince.

She thinks it’s true love. But what happens when this young woman figures out she’s not going to be his princess… and then realizes he’s got a princess in every city?

Here’s a question from a lady in Jamaica who’s enamored with someone famous and exotic, but she’s afraid she’s going to make a mistake taking their relationship too seriously and having a baby with him!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am currently seeing someone who is part of an entourage of someone who is famous. I’m not expecting much from the relationship because I know he has girls throwing themselves at him daily. But, he brings out a certain side of me that I didn’t know existed – I feel ‘free’ when I’m with him.

The last time we were together he asked me a very shocking question. He asked if and when I’m ready to have a child if I would have his child. I really do not know what to do about this crazy relationship.

I try to stop from thinking about him but I am unsuccessful. Is something wrong with me for wanting this type of man?

— Shauna, Jamaica

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBFvWk8dKGI[/youtube]

Embrace How You Feel. There’s Nothing Wrong With You!

It’s OK to feel absolutely any way that you feel. Always embrace your feelings and accept them, but also understand where they’re coming from.

Being enamored with someone who has a life you can only dream of is very common, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Just understand this adoration for what it truly is.

Do You Love Him or the IDEA of HIM?

He says he loves you, and you say you love him.

But the most important thing is to separate the man from the overwhelming essence of freedom, power, and glory. Love the man, not the clothes, the cars, the money, the fortune, the fame. That’s his life, not yours. And it can end as abruptly as it started.

Having a love affair with his image will only leave you empty and feeling cheated when it’s over.

Can You Have a Family with a Man Like This?

Sure you can, but only if you’re fully ready and willing to be a single mom. The free spirit that so attracts you today is NOT “settle down and have a family” material; quite the contrary. Sure there are exceptions, but it normally doesn’t work that way.

You want a family and children with this man? Great. Get together and stay together for a few years. Get married, or not, whatever your preference, and figure out if your love is true. But get close, live your lives together, and then decide if you still truly want to be together for the long run. Only then should you consider bringing children into the world together.

Before that time, you have no way to know if he’ll be around. You’ll still be guessing, but at least it’ll be an educated guess.

How to Set Your Expectations

Is it possible to be in love with someone like this? Absolutely!

But be wary of setting expectations until you fully understand the situation. Base your plans on what is truly there, not on wishful thinking and excitement.

By all means enjoy your life and your times together, and have great fun. And let the relationship grow and evolve at it’s own pace. Don’t try to “lock it in” with marriage or (much worse) by having a child.

Porn Addiction! Huh? Women Addicted to Porn?!?

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Everyone likes to think it’s just men that watch porn. Wives and girlfriends everywhere, high on false righteousness, patrol their man’s computer to make sure it’s still virgin. And God forbid he actually watches porn on TV. After all, porn’s just downright wrong, isn’t it? Or is it?

But here’s a shocker…  lots of women actually enjoy porn, or some form of exotic, erotic entertainment. This urban myth that women don’t like porn or erotic movies goes back to the same popular culture ignorance that leads so many to believe that women don’t want or enjoy sex as much as men.

Fact is, women DO like sex just as much as men do. They just go about it differently, usually in a more discrete, seductive way.

Here’s a question from a lady in California who’s afraid she’s actually become ADDICTED to porn!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have gotten into the habit of watching pornography to help me orgasm, whether it’s masturbating or having my boyfriend go down on me. I used to be able to have an orgasm without porn, but now I’m dependent on it. I don’t think my boyfriend minds much, but it’s just a nuisance.

How can I ease this habit?

— Aly, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml01wPSbJ3I[/youtube]

Why All Addictions Are Bad. Yes, Even Addictions to Porn.

Addictions are bad. It doesn’t matter what you’re addicted to: porn, cigarettes, food (which most everyone is addicted to), or anything else. Doing something because you WANT TO is great. But when you start NEEDING to do it, you know you’re in trouble. The whole fun and joy comes out of it, and you become a slave to whatever you’re doing.

STOP IT! If you realize you have an addiction that’s not serving you (most of them don’t), then kill it, don’t feed it. Most addictions feed an emotional emptiness of some sort. Do away with whatever you’re addicted to and find a better way to meet that need.

And the easiest way to make it stop is to SAY NO that very first time. That will begin to shatter the destructive behavior. When you feel the NEED to do it, do something else. Anything else. Each time you ‘just say no’ and choose a positive action instead, your brain re-wires itself to NOT be dependent on the addiction. Pretty soon, you’ll be free.

If you make a serious effort and still can’t break yourself of it, then get help. Find a counselor to help you get through it. But it all starts with you saying NO that first time and deciding it’s over.

Why Is Pornography Wrong?

Take a moment and really think about that. What IS wrong with watching porn?

I feel that it’s largely due to the social stigma around sex that exists in our society today. Sex is portrayed as evil and wrong, which is just silly if you actually think about it.

Sex is not evil, so why is it wrong to watch others have sex?

Not as a replacement for intimacy of course, but maybe something to help get you BOTH in the mood. And don’t necessarily think of the hard core stuff on the pay per view channels. How about some really erotic movies that’ll get you both excited and in the mood? Not every time, but as a fun change on a sexy date night.

What Is It About Porn That You Find Exciting?

To break the porn addiction, it’s vital to figure out what exactly you find exciting about it. Are you maybe enjoying a certain type of sex play? Is it bringing out some secret fantasies that you haven’t shared with your partner – or maybe which you were afraid to share for some reason?

Once you figure out what it is that’s really getting you excited, here’s a big question for you. Are you trying these things in your sex life? No? Why not?

Sex is so much more fulfilling when you openly share your wants and desires with your partner. Open and honest communication is crucial for a happy sexual and romantic relationship. So give it a try: talk. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Slow Seduction – Why It Matters

Are you getting enough warm up time and mental stimulation, or is it just Wham-Bam-Sex?

Sex is not just about the physical mechanics or inserting Tab A into Slot B. It’s about the excitement, the passion… the most enjoyable part of sex is mostly mental. Sure, the orgasm feels good either way, but there’s no substitute for hot, steamy sex where your mind and body are completely and utterly aroused and playing as one!

Remember also that some men are always ready to go at the drop of a hat. But women usually need more warm up time. Nothing like a hot date with the promise of a steamy, sleepless night to get you both turned on. Build up the anticipation and the tension, and you’ll be pleasantly amazed at the results.

Time to Bring the Excitement and Hot Sex Back Into Your Love Life

Leave the TV behind and bring that excitement in the real world. Nothing wrong with some porn or an exotic thriller now and then for a stay-home date night, but the real world can be so much more stimulating.

With just a little effort, you can actually spark some real excitement in your sex life. Block off some time each week to go out on some hot, exciting dates together. Don’t just talk about it, take action and make it happen. Take this seriously: schedule it now as if it was a doctor’s appointment. You’re going, and the appointment is set.

Now watch the anticipation build as you come up with exciting plans for your steamy date. And when the day comes, get to know each other even more intimately, share your hidden fantasies, and see where the night takes you.

Sex is a wonderful God given gift for us all to enjoy, preferably with someone we’re close to. So indulge yourself and your partner. Explore your desires together and have fun!

Why There’s Still Hope for Marriage

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Why do we cry at weddings?

I think its because we are all hopeless romantics.  We all want the dream of a lasting connection that keeps us engaged and invested.  We want to feel hot about our lover 30 years into the marriage and we want that for others.  We cry because we want it for ourselves and because we don’t really know if it’s possible.

My daughter cried at my wedding. She was, afraid, perhaps.  Afraid that while it seemed so good at the point of the wedding that it might not end up the fairy tale. I’ve been married three times now and she knew how it could turn out. She has seen my two previous marriages fail and got a really clear picture of how bad a bad marriage can be. But even at that third attempt, she cried. She wanted, at 16 to have a father who cared about her, and a husband for her lonely mom. Her hopes brought tears.

As she walked down the isle herself, a couple of weeks ago, I cried. My husband asked me what I was feeling and I told him, “Sad, glad, wonderful.”

What was amazing me was that in spite of seeing me go through two disastrous marriages, she still had hope.  She believes in her ability to love, and she believes in her husband.

When I hear the debate about whether you should stay together for the kids or show them that it’s okay to find happiness, I am amused. Ideally, we should all be able to make it work out. But watching miserable parents suffer for their sake does not make for well-adjusted children.

What I like to think my daughter saw, which gave her continued hope, is that when you are determined enough, anything is possible.

Ending two marriages in divorce was not what I wanted for my kids, or in the least, myself.  I was ill equipped to manage a lasting connection.  My mother also went through two divorces, one when I was a toddler, and another long after I was grown.  So I saw both divorce, and “staying together for the kids”.  Neither provided me a model for intimacy.

But I was determined to have what my mother did not, a lasting, intimate connection with my husband.  What I did, and what my daughter witnessed, is to find out what it took to have what I dreamed of having.

I hoped therapy would help me find it. And undoubtedly, the work I did and the things I learned did pave the way.  But it wasn’t until I discovered the Cycles of the Heart model that I fully understood why it is so horribly difficult for most of us to have that romantic dream.  And it wasn’t until I understood the way out that I was able to do it differently.

Discovering that the way our minds are wired and… how our culture has indoctrinated us into believing that we have to view every problem as a question of “who is to blame” transformed my life and my relationships.

I also believe that it is why my daughter was able to confidently take her vows with a kind, loving man with whom I have no doubt she will have a marvelous life.  She learned, along with me, that there is a different way to live than we have been led by biology and culture to believe.

So I cried at her wedding. I cried from a depth of understanding of the possibilities before her, at 27, which were not there for me.  My joy overflows, because she is starting out her life with wisdom that eluded me.

She cried at her wedding, too.  My husband lifted his glass in toast to her.   He said, with tears in his eyes, (as best I can recall) “You two have everything you need to make a marriage work.  Because I know that you (my daughter) have realized that you can’t forget who your husband is when you are in conflict.  No matter how angry he is, or you are, you don’t forget who he is in spite of whatever might be happening. This is how I know you have what it takes.”  She burst into tears because she knew what he said is true, and that she had won an incredible prize by having this gift.

This wisdom doesn’t come easily or naturally. It’s something we have to learn, and continue to practice.  But it makes all the difference in the world in our relationships, whether with our spouse, our children, our parents, our friends or our neighbors.

Is It EVIL to Say I Love You with No Intention of Getting Married?

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I love you! Love you too! I love you more! No, I love you more!

AAAAAhhhh! Stop it! You hear it every day… people casually throw these magical words around like there was no tomorrow. Sometimes it’s a replacement for “talk to you later” when you’re going to hang up… “Luv you. Love you too.”

Sure, it’s very important to express your feelings to those close to you, to let them know you love them, cherish them, enjoy their company. But what does all this constant “I love you” REALLY mean? What ARE YOU getting yourself into?

Here’s a question from Lee in Ontario. She’s found herself saying “I love you” to her boyfriend more and more lately, and suddenly she’s feeling unsure and uneasy about it. Is she actually misleading him?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am in a 6 month relationship. He says I love you I say I love you back. He says it more I say it more. Yes we are both in love with each other.

If you tell someone you love them a lot, are they going to expect you to marry them? Am I leading him on by telling him I love him – I do. But will I marry him I don’t know. Is it evil to tell someone you love them under these thoughts?

— Lee in Ontario

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh6WvCxWNa8[/youtube]

Does “I love you” mean “I want to marry you”?

NO!!! Love and marriage are two very, very different things. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting married, but there’s also no reason whatsoever to rush into it.

Our society is so hung up on getting married FAST that young girls grow up planning that fairy tale wedding since before they have any idea what love for a partner means. They’re enamored with the idea from their childhood days when they hear stories of the lovely princess that’s rescued by some dashing prince, and he sweeps her off her feet and they get married – and live happily ever after. Yep, it’s really that natural. You meet a guy, he’s not that bad, so you get married before he gets away. Done deal.

STOP IT! Drop that thought and back away slowly.

Marriage is a government sponsored religious construct and may be defined differently depending on your personal beliefs. Separation of church and state aside (just pretend it doesn’t really exist since often times it doesn’t), governments everywhere discriminate against people who choose to share their lives together but not get “married” – i.e. they don’t have a signed government contract together that is blessed by the church.

This is the whole reason why the topic of “gay marriage” is really an issue, and why it will disappear as an issue as we evolve as a society and as a species. The government has no business discriminating against people and telling them who they can and cannot marry. These restrictions originate from one faith or another that some people may subscribe to, but many others do not.

So before you sign that contract, take to time to actually think about what it really means to you on a personal level. Marriage is just the beginning, or the next step, of your life together – not the end goal…

FEAR – “You better marry that girl before you lose her”

One of the main reasons people get married WAY too early in their relationship is fear. Whether it’s pressure from friends and family, pressure from one partner or another, or just pressure to get married before you hit a certain age, it’s all based on fear. And decisions based on fear are almost always decisions you regret later on.

Want to marry the love of your life? Wonderful, do it. But don’t rush into it.

Getting “married” won’t change your relationship, it’ll only change the legal description of your relationship – and make your family and friends happy or sad, depending on whether they like your bride or groom to be.

Finding the person you want to spend your days, months, years with is a wonderful, beautiful thing that not nearly enough people experience. Be grateful for the experience and enjoy it to it’s fullest. But don’t treat it like a quote for a home loan and lock in your rate before your APR has a chance to go up!

You don’t have to get married to have a long and happy relationship

All this rampant fear around getting married too late or “losing that special someone because you didn’t marry them sooner” creates all kinds of silly complications. It’s gotten to where people feel awkward saying “I love you”, and almost feel they have to preface it with “but I’m not going to marry you just yet”.

Express your love freely, and understand that your expression of love and caring is JUST THAT, nothing more. No need to lock in that interest rate until you’re good and ready.

But what if you don’t get married and end up losing that person?

It’s important to remember that being a part of someone’s life is a wonderful privilege. Every day, that special person makes a conscious decision to be with you. That’s a beautiful thing. And you can be happy together for days, weeks, months, years, whether you’re married or not.

People are always changing and growing, some more than others. When you are together with someone, you are either growing together or you are growing in different directions (read: growing apart). If for some reason the time comes to part ways, then so it must be, and that’s OK.

It doesn’t make the time you spent together any less previous and blessed. Just think – if you had been married, then you’d be parting ways and calling it a “divorce” – often a very ugly business, since you have to cancel your government contract AND your religious bond at the same time. Wow, talk about a deterrent.

It’s all OK. Enjoy your time together every day, every moment. And if you feel the special desire to get married, then do it because you wish to further show each other your commitment, not out of fear that it’s too easy to let each other go without that paper. Do it out of love for one another.