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Is it Wrong to Leave My Husband for a Man I Just Met on the Internet?

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It’s becoming a common theme…

People meet someone online and want to leave their families and their lives behind – without ever meeting this person face to face.

In many cases, when they do actually meet the other person, they find that there is no spark, no chemistry.

How is that possible when they got along so well online?

It’s really quite simple. Attraction is much more than just logic and words. We are attracted to others because of the energy that surrounds them, their smell, their movement, their chemistry – so much more than can ever be conveyed over the internet or even over the telephone.

The internet is a great medium for initial introductions, but nothing beats good ol’ face to face communication to determine if you really like someone.

Think of Online Dating as “Online Introductions”. After you find someone you think you may like, it’s time to get out from behind the computer, meet them, and really get to know them in the real word before making any life changing decisions.

Having said that, is it really wrong to leave your current partner to be with someone you met on the internet?

The Question

After 20 years of marriage, and 2 weeks of talking to a stranger online, I am ready to end my marriage and run off with a person 13 yrs my junior.  I realize how insane this must sound to most. Sill as I live it, it just seems right. He seems right. If in fact my new friend is truly what he seems, is it wrong to want real happiness? After 20 years my spouse is no closer to meeting halfway on anything. I had resolved myself to this and thought this is how all marriages end up? Help?

The Answer

First, stop and take a deep breath. You don’t need to make this decision immediately, and you really shouldn’t. There are two very distinct questions facing you here, and combining them can be very dangerous.

1. Should you leave and divorce your husband?

2. Do you truly want to be with this new man?

Is it wrong to want real happiness?

Absolutely not! You should always pursue happiness in your life. There’s no way to truly bring happiness to your partner or your children if you are miserable. Just like there’s no way to truly love someone else without having love for yourself first. True happiness comes from within, not from other people, places, and things.

Make your life decisions based on what feels right for you.

Many, but not all, will disagree with me, but the only person that you are ultimately responsible for in this life is you. Others come and go from your life so that you can further the experience of life – your experience. You come into this life on your own and you leave on your own, so make sure that while you’re here you take care of YOU.

Should you leave your husband for this other man?

No, combining those very different questions can be very dangerous and foolish.

If you want to leave your husband, then do it. But don’t go from one unhappy situation into a completely unknown situation. Take this one step at a time and be sure it’s what you really want.

Are you in love with this man, or just ready to leave your husband?

Is it truly him that excites you, or is it the allure and possibility of freedom, of a new life that you’ve wanted for so long?

Really get to know the new guy first! Two weeks of chatting is not enough time to really know someone. You need to meet someone, spend some time and get to know them, etc.

There’s nothing more exciting than a new relationship. First the relationship is fresh, new, and exciting. But then the euphoria wears off and you enter a new stage where the relationship grows and progresses more deeply, and then slows to a more reliable rhythm. You begin to truly get to know one another on a deeper level.

After 20 years, you know your husband better than anyone else, probably better than he knows himself. Are you really prepared to start all over and break in a new one?

I’m not saying you should stay in an unhappy marriage.

Take a moment now to read our very controversial article on this age-old issue – Should You Condemn Yourself to a Bad Relationship for Life Because of Religion and Guilt?

In summary, if you’re in an unhappy marriage, you are not required to stay in that marriage. Others will disagree with that statement but we believe that we are here in this life to experience happiness, nothing more.

Just make sure that you’re leaving your husband for the right reasons.

Don’t make a rash decision because you met someone else. Really take the time to examine why you want out. If you leave, you need to leave because it’s what you really want in your heart.

Age is irrelevant.

So what if he’s younger than you? Would it matter if he were 10 years older?

Fact is you like him, and you didn’t sit around thinking “should I like him, is he the right age?”. Really, does anyone do that? No, only the overactive brain and its idle chatter judges all the little things you do and think and that’s what get’s us in trouble.

It really makes no difference whether you are the same age, younger, or older than your partner.

We believe that people enter and leave our lives at just the right time, for whatever reasons that we aren’t quite yet evolved enough to fully comprehend. Relationships help us learn more about life and ourselves than any other experiences. Cherish them and appreciate their gifts.

What will your friends say?

In short, it doesn’t matter. If you friends don’t love you enough to support you in your decisions, then maybe you should get some new friends. It really is that simple.

Unfortunately, family and friends are typically the ones that hold you back and keep you “in your box”.

All the people in our lives who think “they know better” tell us who we should date, who we should marry, what we should do, etc. Well, guess what? They don’t have a real clue what YOU should do. All they really have the right and ability to tell you is what they would do in your situation.

Most of the time they just end up reiterating what they were told by their parents and ministers as they grew up – without ever questioning those thoughts and beliefs.

They may mean well and truly care about you, but they can’t possibly know what you should do. Only you can know that by listening to your heart.

In Summary

  • Follow your heart and do what you feel to be right.
  • It is not your responsibility to make anyone else happy, but it IS your responsibility to make yourself happy.
  • If you choose to leave your husband because you are having problems or your relationship no longer works, make that decision independently of whether or not you want to be with this other man.
  • Take the time to know this new man before running away with him.

Here Are Some Great Ways to Get ‘Lucky’ in Love on St. Patrick’s Day

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So maybe you’ve never thought of St. Patrick’s Day as a romantic holiday…

Why not try something new this year and surprise your significant other with something a little more romantic than green beer.

We say that when you’re in love, the best way to stay in love and keep the spark in your relationship is to make every day a romantic holiday. So here are some great romantic ideas for this St. Patrick’s Day.

Get ‘Lucky’ in Love on St. Patrick’s Day

By: Amy Cunningham

St. Patty’s Day is no longer just for the Irish! Take the time to add a spark of romance and let that special someone know how truly ‘lucky’ you feel to have them in your life.

  1. This is a common suggestion, but not many couples actually take advantage of it! Pack a picnic lunch, complete with a bottle of wine. Head out to your local park, snag a shady spot under a tree and prepare yourself for an afternoon of romance. After eating, have a little St. Patty’s Day fun by searching for four-leaf clovers in the grass. While it may sound cheesy at first, you’ll really feel the romantic sparks.
  2. A perfect gift for the perfect lass! Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day deliciously with a gift box full of St. Patrick’s Day themed berries. These berries are lusciously dipped in dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, almonds, chocolate chips, and green tinted coconut. It’s fun and romantic!
  3. Rent a “lucky” movie and have a romantic night at home! Lucky Seven, starring Kimberly Williams-Paisley (from The Tenth Kingdom and Father of the Bride), is a great romantic comedy for St. Patrick’s Day. Amy’s (Williams-Paisley) mother dies when she is just 7 years old and leaves her with a timeline for her life, including the fact that she will have 6 boyfriends before she meets the 7th, who is “the one”. Everything in Amy’s life is perfect and she has followed the time line exactly until she meets the perfect guy. The problem is that he is guy number six. In order to keep her perfect time line in tact, Amy seeks out a temporary sixth boyfriend, the bagel guy. She is soon caught between the two men in a hilarious attempt to figure out her life and love.
  4. It’s said that the four-leaf clover symbolizes wealth, fame, a faithful lover and good health. Pressed between two layers of glass, this genuine four-leaf clover is surrounded by a polished-aluminum frame and sturdy stand. There is no gift that is more perfect for your lucky love on St. Patrick’s Day than this framed genuine four-leaf clover.
  5. Have your sweetie search for his/her own lucky pot o’ gold! You can fill a small pot with golden chocolate coins (found at most candy stores) and a love letter inside. You can either leave the pot o’gold out in the open for your sweetie to find or leave clues filled with romantic notions leading them to the end of their rainbow…
  6. We all like to believe that good things come in threes, and we have the Irish to thank for this optimistic motto. The native shamrock with three leaves is said to represent love, valor and wit. Share your love with your lucky lady by giving her this gorgeous Shamrock bracelet.
  7. Kiss me, I’m Irish! Even if you’re not Irish, fill your day with lots o’kisses! There’s nothing like a good make out session to spark the romance. Shake things up a bit and try out several different kisses. Check out our “gallery of kisses” submitted by other RomanceStuck visitors.
  8. If you’re looking for something for the lucky man in your life, this plaid leather flask is the perfect gift. It’s not St. Pat’s without a little whiskey… or a little green. Throw in a set of double-walled beer glasses (as seen on NBC’s Today Show) for a little more St. Patty’s day fun.
  9. Leave sexy love notes in your sweetie’s briefcase/purse with Hershey’s Golden Nugget candies attached. Make sure the notes leave sexy hints of the night to come! All you need for the perfect St. Patrick’s night is sexy green lingerie and a little bubbly.
  10. Visit a local Irish pub for the evening. Most have special events on St. Patty’s Day, which is sure to guarantee a good time. Check your local newspaper or call your local pub to find out their schedule of events.

Amy Cunningham is the editor of RomanceStuck.com, your online resource for romantic ideas to help you find love and stay in love. ©Copyright RomanceStuck.com 2000-2006. All rights reserved.

Is a Small Penis Size Crushing Your Confidence with Women?

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Do you worry that your penis is too small to satisfy a woman?

Even worse, have you had complaints from women about the size of your penis?

This is a question that has plagued men from the beginning of time.

The Question

I seem to be having trouble with the opposite sex.

What is the average size of the male penis. I measured mine erect and found that I am 3.7 inches long, 0.8 inches wide and 0.4 inches thick width a measured circumference of 2.7 inches. Is that normal, small or big?

I also have right curvature of the penis that doesn’t hurt but it’s shaped like a u-turn. If it was bigger it would probably point back at me. I also makes it look weird and really small. Is that normal and does masturbation cause that?

I just started shaving my balls, does that make the penis look bigger or is it a dead give away?

My last three girlfriends said my penis was pathetic and they had seen pencils bigger. One said my penis would get lost in her mouth if she tried to suck it. My confidence is shattered and I would love to have answers to my questions. Pleas help and write back soon.

The Answer

What is the perfect penis size?

This is an age old question with no “right” answer. Since we are not experts in this field, this one required some research…

I believe that the Taoist Masters have the best answer to this question, but I’ll include some Western views on the topic as well.

Taoist Thoughts on Penis Size

I’m currently reading a book called “Sexual Reflexology” by Mantak Chia (the same author as “Multi-Orgasmic Man“) and William Wei.  The principles in the book are based on ancient Taoist traditions and practices. Basically what this book tells us is that the size and shape of the man’s penis must match with the size and shape of the woman’s vagina. I don’t know about you, but that just seems to make sense…

The book goes on to talk about various ways to tell if you are sexually compatible with another person by looking at various body features on the hands, ears, and face. It’s worth reading if you haven’t already.

I’m also going to check out the “Multi-Orgasmic Man“. The principle here is teaching men how to separate the orgasm from the ejaculation so that they can enjoy multiple orgasms and extended sexual excitement.

OK, back on topic…

Penis size resources from the web

Of course we Westerners want to quantify everything, so here are some really great articles that I found online while researching the answer to this question. (No, we don’t know everything :-)…).

Rather than repeat it all here, I think you’ll get more out of it, if you read the articles yourself. They’re quite informative.

“Facts about Penis Size”, written by Dr David Delvin and Christine Webber at NetDoctor

“Does Penis Size Matter?”, written by Vanessa Burton at AskMen.com

“What is a normal penis size?”, from the Men’s Health section on About.com

What about a curved penis?

I’ve actually heard of this condition before. Depending on the seriousness of the curve, it could be Peyronie’s Disease. Now before you freak out… All that means is that the penis is curved excessively in one direction or another.

I’m going to stop here and tell you to check out this article, “Peyronie’s Disease”, and then contact your doctor if you think you have this condition. There are treatments available, but only your doctor can tell you if they’re right for you (Do I sound like a drug commercial yet?)

You can have great sex, even with a small penis

I know this may come as a shocker to some of you out there, but it’s possible to have really great sex without a man’s penis even being involved. No, really. A surprising statistic is that as many as 70% of women don’t achieve orgasm during intercourse without some other type of stimulation. Guys, listen up here.

There are tons of great books (and videos too) out there on how to please your woman. If you do a search on Amazon, there are hundreds of results for “female orgasm”. Here are a few that we actually recommend:

“The Clitoral Truth” by Rebecca Chalker – This is a very technical but informative book on the female anatomy. You didn’t get this information in sex ed. I feel it’s a must read for everyone.

“The One Hour Orgasm” by Leah and Bob Schwartz – This was a very interesting book, but make sure you’ve got all night to implement the techniques (The Venus Butterfly technique) in this book.

“The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex” by Sari Locker – We love the Idiot’s Guide series. If we ever want to know more on any topic, the Idiot’s Guide is one of the first books we buy.

Add a comment at the bottom if you have any great sex books you’d like to recommend.

Women are evil!

At least some of them… The part of this question that really makes me angry is the behavior of these women, and others like them, and the effect that their comments have had on otherwise strong and confident men.

Men’s egos are very delicate creatures that do not do well under even the slightest criticism. If you really want to crush a man, just insult his “manhood”. This is in fact so engrained in our culture, that we use to word “manhood” to refer to a man’s penis.

Here’s a message for all of those crushed egos out there from a great woman.

Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” In other words, although the feelings are normal, it’s what you do with them and how you process them that reconnect you to your power.

Read this great article by Carol Juergenson-Sheets – “Difficult People – No One Can Make You Feel Inferior”

Obviously these women know very little about sexual pleasure if their only concern is the size of a man’s penis. Consider yourself lucky not to be involved with them.

I recommend reading the books above so that you can satisfy her completely, and that by the time you get to intercourse, she won’t care about the size of your penis!

Here’s How to Make the Transition from Friends to More Than Friends a Little Easier

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The Question

I’ve recently had feelings for this girl and it turns out she’s had feelings for me as well.

We’ve been friends with each other for years but there’s always been something more there.

She told me that she had liked me more than a friend in the past and she does presently, and it’s the same story with me.

A few days ago we kissed for the first time after we had been out with a group of friends but were alone at the time. From that point on I considered us to be “official” and that’s also what she said to me after the kiss.

However, just two days later she sent me a text message saying “I can’t do this, I just can’t right now.”

She has been messed around by boyfriends in the past and treated particularly badly by her previous boyfriend. I’m afraid this has something to do with it.

I really want to make it happen with this girl. Any ideas?????

So what would you do in this situation?

Force the issue and tell her to get over it or maybe sit back and wait for her indefinitely?

Here’s what I would do in the same situation.

The Answer

It sounds like she’s a little “gun shy” and who can blame her. Give her time and show her that you’re not like her previous boyfriends. She may just be really nervous about crossing the “dating” line and taking the risk of losing you as a friend.

Talk to her.

Tell her openly and honestly how you feel without putting any pressure on her. Let her know that you’re there for her regardless of whether or not she’s your girlfriend or just your friend. Whether your relationship with her is labeled as “romantic” or not, it sounds like you have a good relationship, one worth keeping. Too many people let their hormones drive their intellect and ruin a perfectly good relationship – don’t be one of those.

If she just wants to keep you as a friend, it doesn’t mean that she’s rejecting you as a person. It simply means that she’s not ready for a romantic relationship and doesn’t want to date you right now. So many men get angry over this situation because they take it personally, but most likely it has nothing to do with you – she’s already told you that she’s attracted to you.

Ask yourself why you want to take the relationship to the next level.

Is it physical attraction and sex? Are you looking for a long term relationship? Do you just want to know that you have a girlfriend?

There are no right or wrong answers, but it’s important for you to know what you’re looking for so that you can help her better understand. And if you don’t know what you’re looking for that’s OK too. Just make sure to be honest with her.

Ask her to be honest with you and don’t judge her when she is.

If the previous boyfriends really are the reason, then you’ll need to respect and accept that if you really care for her. If she’s just not emotionally ready to be in a romantic relationship, then she shouldn’t be in one with you or anyone else.

So many people make the mistake of getting into a relationship when they’re really not ready to be involved at that level with another person and it usually ends badly and with regrets on both sides. So make sure she’s ready and don’t push. Let her know that you’ll be there for her when she’s ready – if that’s something that you’re willing to do.

Don’t stop being friends just because of a kiss.

I’ll take one good friend over 10 girlfriends any day!

Maybe there’ll be more to your relationship and maybe there won’t, but you’ll both have more respect and trust for each other in the end. It’s not always easy, but try to enjoy your relationship for where it is today.

Whatever is going to happen tomorrow will happen tomorrow and that’s OK. Always live in the Now.

Online Dating – How to Get 10 Times More Women Checking You Out

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Here’s the Single Biggest Mistake that both men and women make with Online Dating.

Making this one small change to your Online Dating Profile can increase your response rate anywhere from 10 to 20 times – yes, 1000% or more.

So don’t wait. Watch this short 1 minute video right now to see how you can avoid it.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-5iaj6y174[/youtube]

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Read More…

For the insider’s guide to succeeding with online dating, download our award winning ebook.

Finding Love Online – 5 Proven Strategies and The Top 5 Things You Should NEVER Put In Your Profile

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And, if you have any questions about anything you read in the book, we’re always here to answer them for you. Consider us your personal Online Dating coaches – without the $250 per hour fees. Get it now.