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5 Sex Tips From Couples Who Do It All The Time

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Sex doesn’t have to get boring when you’re in a relationship. Here’s how couples who do it all the time keep sex fresh AND hot!

Having sex a lot during a long-term relationship can be a sign that you’re doing something right. However if the sex has suddenly stopped working as been on the decline for a little while it’s hard not to wonder what happened. Couples around the country judge their relationship based on how many times they have sex in a week.

While a lot of sex could be sign of a healthy relationship, there could still be problems. Having a relationship that is solely based on sex is never healthy. If you would like to have a healthy relationship with your wife or husband, as well as have more sex, there are a few key ingredients to making this work. Here are five tips from couples who do it all the time.

1. Open Communication About Sex

One of the hardest things to deal with as a partner who will not express what is making them angry, sad or discontent with the relationship. If you’re wondering why the sex in your relationship has suddenly stopped one of the easiest ways to find out is to simply ask if your partner is feeling reservations about what the two of you have together.

Open communication is extremely important so that nothing is bottled up. Keeping things from your partner is never a good idea and will only prolong the unhappiness that you are feeling. Talk to your partner and get the lines of communication open before you start to have major problems. That way when problems do start to occur you will feel comfortable talking about them openly and honestly.

2. Be Honest

There are a lot of instances were partners will lie to each other in order to detect their feelings. While this is harmless for if your wife or husband asks you whether or not you like something that the wearing, this can evolve into a big problem when they start asking about things that affect the relationship.

No matter how bad or good things are, you should always be honest about a situation. If you don’t like the way that something is, be honest about it with your partner and yourself. You’re never going to have a great relationship or a great sex life until you are honest with yourself and your partner. It doesn’t matter if the sex is great, good or horrible, you cannot improve anything until you address the fact that there is a problem.

3. Admit Your Mistakes

There are too many instances of partners who are too proud to admit that they made a mistake. Have the guts to admit when you have screwed up and you will see that your partner not appreciates this, but will also forgive you much more easily. Having pride can ruin a relationship from the very start. Most couples only need to meet each other halfway to see an amicable end to a problem.

Keep this in mind when you are judging whether or not you are having enough sex the relationship. Your partner might resent something that you did. If you simply apologize for it, you will start to see a vast improvement in communication, trust and other issues that affecting the sex life in your relationship.

4. Quality Time

Quality time is a big one. Whether you are doing something that the both of you love, something that your partner loves or something that you love, having quality time together is essential to building the relationship even more. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for two months or 20 years, no relationship can survive without quality time together.

Remember that quality time should be spent between the two of you equally. No partner should be getting more quality time doing what they love than the other partner. Doing something that you both love is great, however, compromise must be used when something comes up that one partner does not particularly like. Spending quality time together will bring you closer and create more intimacy, thus leading to a better sex life.

5. Reject Mainstream Expectations

It is very easy to get caught up in the hype that the entertainment industry has laid out over the last couple years. You turn on the television and see that your favorite TV character is having sex with their wife or girlfriend constantly. In order to have a healthy relationship you need to recognize that this is simply entertainment and that real couples do not have sex 3 to 4 times a day.

Talk with your partner so that you know how many times a week they would like to have sex versus how many times a week you would like to have sex. Make sure that you are not getting swept up in the media’s interpretation of a healthy sex life.

What To Talk About After Sex

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Sex is a wonderful thing, but afterwards can be a little awkward if you don’t know what to talk about. Here are some tips for after sex discussions.

Ok, semen’s out. Now what?

The world doesn’t end when you orgasm, there is a continuing, social, person-to-person interaction after intercourse. That intimacy bubble doesn’t burst when you ejaculate. This may not be evident in one-shot deals where you’ll probably never see each other again, but it becomes very obvious in long-term relationships.

What Is After Sex Talk?

Afterplay talk is very similar to boy-girl date conversation, the only difference is that you don’t talk crap just to get into her pants because you’ve been there and done her. It’s one of pure communication as the only motive is to bond with your partner – and have fun while at it. The ability to converse and temporarily forego sleep separates great lovers from men who roll over and go to sleep after barely slipping the condom off their shiny penises.

Being awake post-coitus is one of the marks of a guy who gets laid regularly, who doesn’t resort to typical begging. He knows that afterplay is the most important bridge to the next sack session. For one cannot keep ignoring a woman’s need for post-ejaculation companionship.

If you constantly make her feel she’s just good for the sex, over time, she’ll wise up and realize she has something you want – and if you don’t treat her any better, you’ll experience a shortage of it – a sort of what goes around comes around situation.

Do You Have To Talk After Sex?

Sure, there is no law compelling you to engage in afterplay conversations, you can always doze the night/afternoon away. But sooner or later, you’ll wake up, and soon, you’ll have boners and you’ll have the hots for her again. What I’m saying is that in terms of relationships, this is an investment worth your effort. I will not explain why this is, I hope you are insightful enough to realize that this matters to women and not to miss the fact that you have as much to gain.

What NOT To Discuss

Except for a few landmines, you can talk about virtually anything under the sun. Talk about your most intimate secrets for all I care, although simpler topics are better. Talk about the ingredients of your version of the World’s Perfect Sandwich. Anything!

Don’t turn it into a serious, drawn-out discussion, do it in the spirit of fun. Be unthreatening, playful, and don’t make a big deal out of it.

But no guy talk. Guys can yak away about their passions not knowing they’re slowly lullabying the woman to sleep. Conversations involving engines, radiators and hydraulics should be saved for your car mechanic on poker nights. Same thing goes for guns, the playoffs and RPGs. All she’ll really hear is “Blah blah, bablahblablah.” Imagine her talking about lip gloss, concealers and asking for your personal philosophy on make-up. How can you engage? You can listen to death, but all you’ll really hear is “Blah blah blah, bablah,blabla… and that’s why I need your credit card this Sunday.”

Veer off negative topics like death, accidents, failures and disappointments. Stay away from stuff that caused friction in the past (eg. bills, ex’s, in-laws, nagging). They’re anti-climactic. Why would you stop a great aura with a lousy remark about how you absolutely abhor her friends?

Spiral up, don’t start digging holes.

What You SHOULD Talk About

Talk to her vanity instead. Talk her up. Comment on her sexual prowess, make her feel so good about herself she’ll want to do you again and again. (This is one way of starting a sexual addiction.)

In addition to talking about simple, fun stuff, the couple can also discuss the SEX and further refine the experience. Unless you engage your lady in open, honest sexual conversation, she’ll try giving you an orgasm with the often frustrating trial and error method. Simply telling her what you want saves time and a whole lot of errors. She may not instantly become an expert, but she’ll get on with the program and improve steadily.

During the heat of passion, one doesn’t have the luxury to plug in a projector, use a laser pointer, and graphically illustrate the moves. So one simply howls, ‘to the left’ or ‘more! After sex, you actually have the luxury of gathering your thoughts, choosing your words and belting out a speech. It’s an opportunity to communicate clearly and precisely.

SO, TELL HER WHAT YOU WANT! (She’d appreciate it.)

Not being able to specifically pin down your desires is an entirely different thing. Honestly, have you ever spared a second to think about the kind of sex that you want? If not, then no wonder you can’t communicate them to a woman, and no wonder you’re not getting it from her!

Still, many don’t sound-off because of fear. It’s that timeless fear of rejection, the embarrassment of being said “NO” to, the sting of being laughed at and told, “You want that?! You sicko!” Add to that the anxiety of telling your woman that she actually sucks at a technique she prides herself in, like a blowjob.

These fears will always exist. And there’s eerie comfort in knowing that many guys experience them.

The most effective way of dealing with such is not by explaining them away or denying their existence, it’s by learning exactly what to do.

5 Stages Of Female Orgasm

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The female orgasm is quite different from the male’s. Here’s the female orgasm broken down stage by stage.

The famous sex researchers, William Masters and Virginia Johnson, were the first to outline the four stages of sexual response in human beings. These stages apply to both men and women, but each gender experiences the stages differently. Men typically race through the stages faster than women do. But in some situations, women may be ready for orgasm much faster than a man.

Let’s take a look at each of the stages as they occur in women and how to know when your partner is ready for the next stage.

Female Orgasm Stage 1 – Excitement

This is one of the easiest stages to reach for both men and women. Just smelling your cologne or having your hand brush against her breasts can excite a woman. She can become excited by fantasizing about sexual encounters or by flirting with you during dinner. In fact, during the average date, women may become excited ten to fifteen times. Most of those times do not lead to the next level, however. The female body responds to this stage in very specific ways.

Let’s go through some of those physical signs of excitement:

  • Her nipples become erect.
  • Her vagina starts becoming lubricated.
  • Her clitoris begins to swell and grow larger.
  • The inner parts of her vagina begin to expand.
  • Her breasts may even increase in size if she becomes highly aroused.

These are not the only physical signs, but these are probably the ones you or her may notice. Notice that during this early stage, her vagina is already becoming lubricated. Many men have the mistaken notion that this is a sign that a woman is ready to engage in intercourse. That is not the case. A lubricated vagina only means a woman is aroused. All of these signs do suggest, however, that her body is preparing for the possibility of sex.

Female Orgasm Stage 2 – Plateau

This second stage does not occur as frequently as the arousal or excitement stage. In fact, most incidents of arousal never reach this level. So when does a woman reach this level? Well, she will require more physical stimulation. Foreplay, for example, will help her move to this stage, so does increased fantasizing. During this stage, sexual tension inside her body is growing. More physical signs also accompany this stage.

A few of those signs are listed below:

  • Breasts may increase noticeably in size.
  • The vagina swells and the vaginal opening begins to narrow.
  • The clitoris becomes more erect.
  • Her heartbeat may increase noticeably.
  • The color of the labia minora will change from pink to either red or wine in color.

This final physical sign is very important. Researchers have found that if the color change does not occur, then women rarely have a female orgasm. About one-half to three-fourths of women also experience what is termed a “sex flush” on parts of their body. The increased blood flow to the skin sometimes gives the appearance of a flush over the chest or other parts of the body.

During the plateau stage, the woman’s body is becoming ready for intercourse. Only near the end of this stage is she physically ready for vaginal intercourse.

Female Orgasm Stage 3 – Climax

All of those women who fake female orgasm end up continually jumping from the second to the fourth stage of sexual response. After her body is truly ready for intercourse and if she is receiving the proper stimulation – usually clitoral – then it does not take long for her to reach the third stage.

Below are some of the physical effects your partner will experience during this stage. Some of these should be noticeable by you and a couple are impossible for her to fake, so if you really want to know whether you are making her climax or not, pay attention to the physical signs.

  • Muscle contractions: Intense muscle contractions through the pelvic area will occur during the orgasm. A woman can have three to fifteen of these contractions depending on the strength of her orgasm. She may also experience muscle contractions in other parts of the body as well.
  • Most women’s bodies become temporarily rigid at the highest point of their orgasm. This lasts for only a moment, but its something you may notice.
  • The “sex flush” is another indicator of female orgasm. At this stage, it becomes brighter and more noticeable. It may also have spread to other areas of her body.
  • Another telltale sign of orgasm in some women is ejaculation. Some women do ejaculate after a female orgasm.

Female Orgasm Stage 4 – Resolution

This is an interesting stage because what happens during it depends on what did not happen before or what is continuing to happen. For example, if a woman successfully completes stage 3, then she may be able to have multiple orgasms. However, if she fails to have an orgasm, then her body will begin to return to normal, but at a slower rate than if she had climaxed first. Many women actually report physical discomfort in the pelvic area during this process—similar to the discomfort men experience when they come close to climaxing but then fail to do so.

During the resolution stage, a woman’s breasts and nipples can be incredibly sensitive. In fact, they can be so sensitive that touching them is uncomfortable for her. This is important to remember, because if you have not climaxed yet, you will want to refrain from any aggressive fondling of her breasts to reach your own orgasm.

After the last orgasm, the “sex flush” will disappear. Also, your partner may experience heavy sweating, rapid heart beating, and/or heavy breathing. The resolution stage marks the end of the cycle of sexual desire and arousal for women.

Female Orgasm Stage 5 – Multiple Orgasms & Sexual Response Cycle

Many women are capable of having multiple orgasms. In fact, they are more common than researchers initially believed. Any time a woman has an orgasm she is capable of having another one if proper stimulation is continued. What’s interesting about multiple orgasms in women is that they don’t have to repeat the entire cycle to achieve another orgasm. Once they are in the area between the third and fourth stages, their bodies are highly receptive to orgasm.

Why Delaying Penetration Can Make Sex HOT!

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Penetration is what guys look forward to during sex, but if you do it too fast, you could turn her off. Here’s why you should definitely wait!

Delaying Penetration Isn’t Easy

Get real, a moment by moment experience is easier said than done… especially when you throw in a raging boner and a naked woman. Savoring foreplay, while violent carnal forces take over your body, is a mean feat.

Women don’t get this, but delaying penetration is probably the most difficult thing a man can do. Guys see an erection as unresolved tension. It needs to be addressed. Immediately. Unnecessary delay is cruel.

While most women wish to luxuriate in this kind of feeling, men see it as torture.

Have a naked, gorgeous woman on your bed… moaning… with legs pointed to the heavens, and you’ll realize you’d rather be skinned alive than not jump her. It’s like the marshmallow experiment – only this time, the marshmallow is wickedly sexy at 120 lbs., calling out “Come and get me!” through a microphone. You don’t even see the woman, really, your vision just zeroes-in between her legs. And you would do anything, even pawn your Knicks season tickets, just to get into that magical place.

That’s why nobody’s telling you to stop a boner – you can’t. So don’t deny the urge. In fact, ACKNOWLEDGE IT, admit you wish to ravish her body. Admit that you want to be inside her, feel her warm and wet core embrace your penis. You want to plant it deep, deep into her. Acknowledge the urge.

Is It Possible To Even Do It?

Yes, it’s possible to delay penetration. Ever been so mad at someone you felt like strangling them to death? We’ll, did you actually do it? It’s the same with foreplay. Have the urge, but don’t act on it…yet. Feeling it is different from acting on it. This is where the bizarre struggle begins since men can easily blend the two. But just because you’re hard doesn’t acquit you of all the other options.

Why hurry a sure thing? Do you actually think she’ll do a disappearing act if you don’t jump her immediately?

What To Do Instead

GET BUSY. You will never get over that vaginal trance unless you fill your head with something else. Do some crunches if you got to, channel that sexual energy into some activity and accomplish something mind-blowing – great oral sex, for example. Get busy and realize that while you’re at it, keeping your mind off that battle-ready penis, you’re getting the hang of the thing that started off as distracters. Foreplay can rock… when you give it a shot.

Of course, don’t wait for kingdom come and allow your erection and arousal to shy away. Just remember a sexual reprogramming before finally deciding to ride. This next one is subtle but it could really change your foreplay game. Ready?

What Really Happens During Penetration

That moment you penetrate, the very first instant you slide that schlong into that pit of hers, think of it as: THE BEGINNING OF THE END, launching the finale – the final hurrah. You’re actually wrapping things up. Yeah that’s right, the moment you enter her, you’re actually nearing the end of the session, you’re taking the final bend of the final lap. It positions you a stone’s throw away from the inevitable conclusion.

To most guys, it’s the exact opposite. For them, that first push is like opening their box of chocolates… all the good stuff begins. They think, “Yeah, finally I get to do this!” It’s a “Yeheeey!” moment and fireworks are at long last lit up. Like the opening of baseball season – all wonderful things are up ahead.

But, without watering down the virtues of great sex, and without missing on the joys of being inside a woman, boxes of chocolates have been opened way before initial penetration. It’s not the opening of baseball season, it’s already the World Series! And as for the fireworks? They’re there for the closing ceremonies!

What You’re Missing If You Penetrate Too Fast

All things bright and beautiful didn’t begin when you went in for that first push, it started long way before that. It started when you first got a whiff of the scented candles she prepared, when you first ran fingers across her face, when you felt her tummy rising and falling from labored breathing. If you missed on those because of your anxiety to put your pelvic gyrations on display, then you missed a lot.

You missed the unique pleasures of the opening and middle game.

Remind yourself before you enter: This is the beginning of the end. Watch how this simple shift straightens things out and alter your foreplay game by giving you a wider shot of the whole sex thing.

8 Naughty Anal Fingering Techniques

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Anal fingering can be a great way to bridge the gap between regular sex and anal sex. Check out these eight hot techniques to get started!

8 HOT Anal Fingering Techniques

1. See-Saw

This is a simple move that will get her nice and warmed up, especially if you apply a bit of oil or lubricant to your hands. Put your hands together flat, palms touching, and place the outer edge between her cheeks, over her anus and perineum.

With an up-and-down sawing motion, rub this very sensitive spot to stimulate and relax the muscles.

2. Teeter Totter

Using the same exact position as above, wiggle your hands back and forth at the wrist as you slide up and down this area. Add extra lube to make her nice and slick, and to prepare for entering the rear passage.

3. Passing The Time

To stave off any boredom while working up to all the fun parts of anal play, the experts who wrote “Red Hot Touch,” Jaiya and Jon Hanauer, suggest twiddling your thumbs! Using the knuckles of each hand to spread her cheeks apart a bit, slowly circle your thumbs around each other so that the pads touch the anus as they pass. Use lots of lube and increase your speed if she responds well.

4. Making An Entrance

When your wife’s level of arousal tells you that she is ready for more, you’re going to take a hint from the earlier technique of waiting to be allowed in, this time with just a bit of pressure. Using a well-lubricated index or middle finger, put slow, gentle, pressure on her anus; don’t push, just apply steady pressure and allow her  to suck you in past the first sphincter. Rest here and let her adjust to this new and different sensation.

Tell her to breathe deeply, to relax and to focus on contracting and releasing the pelvic muscles, in particular those in her anus.

5. The Waiting Room

With your finger between the two anal sphincters, you have the perfect opportunity to stop and let your wife get comfortable, adjusting to the feeling of having you inside her in this way. If she finds it too strange, you can exit and go again with a bit more lube until she starts to get used to it.

When she’s ready to accept you further, you can put the same gentle pressure on her second sphincter, just an inch or two away from the first. Here again, you need to be accepted in, and it may be more difficult to coax the inner doorway, since it is not consciously controlled. She can’t just relax on command here.

Just remain still, applying pressure, and wait. If she doesn’t open up for you, take the hint. Move on to something new and come back again another day.

6. Check The Clock

The clock face is a great way to envision just about any erogenous zone when it comes time to explore its idiosyncrasies. In the same way that you can explore the vulva and the clitoris, as described earlier in this chapter and the last, beyond the second anal sphincter lies a space which you can explore in this same roundabout way.

Press along the outer edge of the rectum with your finger, stopping to make small circles at each hour. Try communicating with her what you’re doing and asking for her feedback. If she remembers too, it will help you to memorize which spots are her favorite.

7. Hit The Spot

I’ve explained how a woman’s genitals and reproductive organs are all intricately linked, so it may not surprise you to know that you can hit her G-Spot from inside her rectum… but it will probably surprise her!

At about three inches into her rear canal, you can crook your finger toward her vagina for easy access to her G-Spot and with a “come hither” motion might just be able to give her a G-Spot orgasm! If you can pull this off with some exterior urethral stimulation, perhaps using your tongue, you might just be able to see her squirt!

8. The Five-Finger Surprise

If hitting her G-Spot from one cavity isn’t quite impressive enough, why not try for two? This move, in fact, takes two hands to stimulate her entire genital pleasure system from top to bottom, front to back!

With one hand in the position above, stimulating her G-Spot from her anus, crook the thumb from the same hand into her vagina, pressing against the rear wall and perineum. You can begin to make come-hither motions with your finger immediately, or wait until your other hand is in position.

Insert the index and middle fingers of your other hand into the vagina and stimulate the G-Spot and A-Spot. Using the same technique as in the Three-way move, place the pad of your thumb on her clitoris, and rock this second hand back and forth, thereby stimulating her entire labia.

If you have trouble making these slightly different motions at the same time, focus on one hand then the other, seeing how she responds. Find a rhythm that works, and use it to take her all the way to orgasm!