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Achieve Your Goal Of Being Good With Women In 5 Easy Steps

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Dating isn’t easy, and being good with ladies is even more difficult. Many guys are too shy to consider themselves suave when it comes to dating, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t work the ladies. If you’re a guy who has a tough time approaching or talking to girls, you’re definitely not alone. Not to worry – here’s how you can  your dating ambitions – today!

A Serious Plan Of Action

If you are not using objectives to attain what you desire in life (such as being great at dating), you are probably seeing very little success. People seem to think that fixing a problem is the way to bring success into their life. It is like people have tunnel vision just to find the things that are holding them back, or even more so, identifying problems as the things that are holding you back.

Here is the fact of the matter, no one is plagued with the tragedy that is perfection. In fact if someone was perfect, they would be terrible with girls simply because they would not be able to relate to anyone they meet, especially when they meet women. Being able to relate is a huge factor in attracting girls so by trying to solve all your problems, you are making your ability to be good with ladies even harder.

The true way to succeed in dating through actions while learning to work with your problems. I don’t even want to go as far to call our flaws “problems” because they ultimately work in your favor if you are taking action and moving forward with your life. And that is what this article aims for you to do.

Step 1: Identify The Ultimate Objective

If you are reading this, I know why you are here, your ambition is to be successful with women, have options in your life when it comes to choosing girls you want to be with and developing the social skills to start dating successfully. All this falls under “Being Great with Girls” and that is your Ultimate Goal. What you define as being great with ladies will be determined in the next step.

Step 2: Create Objectives That Will Make You Better At Dating

As I’m sure you have heard being good with ladies is both an external and internal pathway of development. Your actions and thoughts must be aligned in the right way to attract the girls you want and your dating objectives should reflect this. Create 5 for your inner self-improvement, and 5 for your outer self.

What I mean is there are ambitions that will directly affect your inner thoughts/mindsets/beliefs and there are ones that will affect your appearance and social skills. Here are some examples but all the ambitions you write should be reflective of what you ultimately want to accomplish, being good with ladies.

Example:

Inner Objectives:

1. Rid myself of the fear to talk to an attractive girls I don’t know.

2. Identify and embraces my passion

3. Become more confident in my self-image

Outer Objectives

1. Be able to bring girls home the night I meet them

2. Not have conversations die when I am talking to ladies

3. Develop a better fashion sense.

You should ultimately create 10 dating objectives for yourself, if you are having trouble thinking of some I have provided a few ideas above but this is your own journey of self discovery and it is important some of them are that of your own.

Step 3: Prioritizing

It is important to reflect and find what ambitions are the most important to you in accomplishing – such as dating – while at the same time creating order to which ones you need to stay on top of. The great thing about this type of training is that if you constantly keep them in mind (I recommend printing a sheet of them and carrying it with you) you will see opportunities for you to take action and attain them.

Step 4: Create A Plan Of Action

I want you to sit down and reflect on each dating objective. Under each, list actual things you can start doing to make these things happen. You are essentially taking your aspirations and breaking them into the things you need to start doing to make them start manifesting. You are creating a plan of action and this is the most important step. This type of training works on success, finding things you can do to bring yourself to the next step.

Your focus will begin to shift away from your problems as you constantly find ways to continue to move forward in your life. As you accomplish each objective, you notice the next one becoming easier and easier because all these aspirations are reflective of each other. This is one of the few things where things get easier every step of the way. The hardest part is only in the beginning and by having a plan of action; the first step is not even that hard. Also the objectives you prioritized the highest should have the most plans of action because it is the area that needs the most work.

Remember a plan of action for each of your aspirations is something that you can physically do to bring yourself to the next level. Each plan for action should push you a bit further. Even if it seems impossible at the time, the impossible becomes possible if you keep working at it.

Example:

Inner Objective:

1. Rid myself of my fear to talk to women I don’t know

Plan of Action:

a. Start small talk with 10 strangers in a day while out and about

b. Start small talk with 5 girls you find attractive while out and about

c. Approach 3 girls you are attracted to by stating your attraction for them. “I think you are really cute”

d. Approach 5 girls in a row and have each one lead to a solid conversation.

Inner Objective:

2. Become more confident in myself image

Plan Of Action:

a. Loose 10 pounds

b. Put on 5 pounds in muscle mass

c. Find a hairdresser that will cut and style my hair. (No more barbers! Find a hot hairdresser that cares about you looking good)

d. Have a girl compliment me on my looks while out and about

Outer Objective:

1. Be able to bring girls home the night I meet them

Plan Of Action:

a. Find and become a regular at a place near my house to take girls on dates

b. Think of non sex reasons for girls to come over

c. Get a car

d. Find social venues near by your place to meet girls.

Outer Objective:

2. Not have conversations die when I am talking to girls

Plan Of Action:

a. Hold a conversation for 3 minutes with a girl

b. Hold a conversation for 10 minutes with a girl

c. Hold a conversation with a large group of ladies for 10 minutes

d. Go an entire conversation without asking about mundane things like names, jobs, and college majors

Outer Objective:

3. Develop a better fashion sense.

Plan Of Action:

a. Subscribe to a magazine like GQ

b. Set a day aside to spend a decent amount on a new wardrobe

c. Cultivate a female friendship where she can help you find what looks good on you

d. Make sure you get a new wardrobe at least every season as they come along

Step 5: TAKE ACTION!

This step is by far the most important. Now that you have a plan to take action go and do so. Organize your list and create an action plan for each and every one. The more plans of action you have the better. Now print out a list of them that you can carry on you and make an effort to accomplish at least one a week.

If you continue this exercise, I GUARENTEE you will be better with girls. It is the only time I can give a 100% not a single doubt in my mind guarantee that doing this will drastically improve your results with them. I honestly don’t know what other motivation besides that I can give you. Best of luck.

How To Use Eye Contact To Approach Women

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Dating is most successful when you use body language to your advantage. Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of body language and it alone can attract a woman to you. Girls are actually CONSTANTLY trying to approach and talk to you. Now you might be saying that you have never had a girl come up and talk to you out of the blue, however by no means does this mean that she did not approach you. Girls just view approaching a stranger very different than men do.

Women Definitely Want To Be Approached

When they’re dating (not in a relationship), girls are constantly giving signs for people to come up and talk to them. Sometimes it is a blatant sign directed towards one guy, or it can just be the way she is carrying herself to hope that any guy comes up to spark a conversation. For the most part, I feel 80% of men miss out on these signs or misread them.

Just accept by rule of thumb that a girl will not go out of her way and directly spark a conversation up with you, however she will throw up all kinds of signs for you to come over and talk to her. As someone that is naturally good at dating women, it is your job to be able to read these signs and immediately act upon them.

Before we get into specific signs that girls give, I want to introduce you to the most powerful weapon in any naturals’ arsenal. It is by far the best tool we have for creating a fast and strong connection with the opposite sex. It is in effect before you even say your first words, all the way to the moment she is back in your bedroom. This tool is non-other than eye contact.

Using Your Eyes The Right Way

To master this dating tool you must know how to use your eyes in the right way. If you are like I used to be, you probably never really thought about the eye contact you were making. However, once I started incorporating it properly, I don’t know how I ever did without it.

I first noticed its power as I was walking through a mall. When you are walking in any busy area, there are constantly people you just happen to notice. Many people walk by without catching your eye, while others just seem to draw your attention. Sometimes it is just your mind creating awareness of the space around you, and other time it is something like a pretty girl walking by that catches your attention, either way your focus is always shifting from person to person.

It goes the same way with girls, as they are walking down the street they are constantly looking at people, sometimes you may see them walk right by you without them noticing you, and other times you will catch them make brief eye contact with you. This is your moment to go up to her and start flirting. If a girl walking by has made some form of eye contact with you, it is either her creating awareness of her surroundings, or there is something about you that caught her attention. Either way you have just entered her conscious awareness, making any approach you make with less likely to catch her off guard and will lead to a smoother interaction.

Being Aware Of The People Around You

Try to take note of all the people walking by that you make eye contact with, and then start to get into the habit of approaching these people, you will notice a much warmer response because just from her noticing you for a brief second, you have become less of a stranger in her mind. There is a slight level of familiarity that will help you get your foot in the door with every interaction.

There are more blatant signs that girls give in a variety of situations that are even more powerful than just the passing glance. If you go out to a bar, club, or any place of social nature, you are bound to run into three types of girls giving off very unique signs for you to talk to them. Learn to recognize these types of girls and always approach them.

Signs She Wants To Talk To You

The Gazing Girl

This is the most common sign/type of girl you will see. It is similar to the passing glance we were talking about but is a little more direct. Say you are sitting with your friends at one end of the bar and you notice a girl at another end look over at you and your friends. She is not going to do anything overly seductive; she is just going to make a brief second of eye contact with you then break it.

Now girls already think this a big sign for a guy to approach them but they do not realize how subtle and easy to dismiss it is. So they will follow up once more with a look over. If you have not already gotten and up and are on your way to approach, then consider this second glance a flashing neon light saying GO TALK TO HER. Girls think this sign is obvious and get frustrated that guys miss it. She will not keep going out of her way to make eye contact with you. In almost all cases she will only make it twice (if that) then move on.

The Wandering Girl

Another form of body language girls will use to show they want to be approached is by creating proximity to you. They will either leave to go the bathroom or get a drink, and in turn walk past you, or they will choose to form their group somewhere within a 15 to 20 foot proximity of yourself.

Consider all girls within 20 feet of you as a girl that wants to be approached by you. The closer she is, the more she wants to be approached. If she is this close to you, she is aware of your existence in one form of another so even if she was not intentionally making herself closer to you, she is comfortable with you being in her near proximity. This in turn will result in a more successful and warmer response to any approach you make.

The Dancing Girl

This girl is easy to spot, she will be hanging out with her group of friends, not really paying attention and simply dancing or bobbing her head to the song that is being played. Simply go up and approach and before the conversation can really even spark say how you like this song and tell her to “come dance.” Very assertive and easy.

After the song is over you can suggest walking off the dance floor and talking to her. Chat her up and ask her out on a date. Also look for this sign when you are talking up any girl at a bar or club, if you are having a good conversation and she starts to seem into the song, it is her sign that she wants to dance with you and is often a great way to begin any form of escalation towards sex.

The key to this dating advice is being more aware of your surroundings and to pay attention to the people looking at you/near you. You will begin to notice countless opportunities for you to approach and they all start with a simple subtle glance. Don’t miss them!

Final note on eye contact: When conversing with a girl, make an effort to hold eye contact just a few seconds longer than you normally would. Girls naturally hold eye contact about two seconds longer than guys feel comfortable doing so and if you have eye contact and your focus in the right place, the girl will start to feel an immediate strong bond with you.

It is also a great tool for creating sexual tension and sometimes eye contact can fill any void in conversation. If the girl likes you, she will make an effort to hold eye contact with you, allow her to and be comfortable with it.

How To Stay Focused When Talking To Women

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Even the best dating advice sometimes leaves out how important awareness is when you’re talking to women. If you’re not concentrating in the right place, your conversations with women will go nowhere. Every guy is afraid of clamming up when he’s talking to a woman, and that only happens when a man loses his concentration during a conversation.

In order to have massively successful interactions with women, your focus must be in the right place.

Dominance Is A Factor

Dominance is one of the key factors in attracting women and dominance consists of the alignment between your inner thoughts and actions. However you may be wondering how one gets to the point where their external actions are matching their internal thoughts. The way to do this is easy, and simply consists of making a slight shift in thinking when you are talking to a woman.

Many guys have the problem of running out of things to say when talking to a girl (or using pick up lines), this is because they are simply focusing on their next actions without having their mind in the right place. You need to ask yourself this same question in regards to your interactions with women. This is quite possibly the most important dating advice you’ll ever get – where we focus our attention is simply a habit and to be good with women, you need to break and establish the right habits.

If I were to simplify every interaction to its purest form it would consist of the moments you are interacting with the woman, followed by the moments she spends interacting with you and your response to that. Each person generally switches off talking; however what they are talking about is generally irrelevant. What matters is where your awareness is during the interaction.

What You Should Be Concentrating On

So lets start with where your concentration should be when you are talking and flirting with a woman:

  • If your concentration is on what she thinks of you while you are talking, you failed
  • If your concentration is on trying to say something that you think she will like, you failed
  • If your concentration is on the next step you can take to escalate to a relationship with her, you failed

However, if your focus is on being genuinely curious in finding more about this girl, you have started to think like someone that is naturally good with women.

Digging A Little Deeper

When talking to a woman, your focus should be coming from a place of “Expressive Curiosity,” meaning you understand what it is you are looking for in a girl, and you are genuinely interested in finding out if this girl meets the standards you have set for yourself. It is called “expressive” curiosity because when your focus comes from a place of genuine curiosity, your actions, touch, body language and facial features express that curiosity in a subtle but natural way that further captivates the woman.

Many people think just asking a series of qualifying questions is a form of expressive curiosity but this is bad dating advice and it is not always the case. Once again, it all depends on your focus. Many times, when people go about asking a girl about what their hobbies are, or what makes them interesting, it comes from a place of zero dominance because they are simply asking to keep conversation going or create the illusion of expressive curiosity.

You don’t even have to ask direct questions to find if the woman meets your standards. By being genuinely curious about the woman, you can find out all you need to know about her just by asking about her weekend. By knowing what you want, your curiosity will steer the conversation into qualifying her like a natural.

How To Show A Girl That You’re Genuinely Curious

Here is an example of great dating advice (In this example I am genuinely curious if I can go out on a date and have fun with this girl, making sure she is not a buzz kill):

Me: “What did you do this weekend?”

Her: “Me and my friends went to bar for my friends birthday.”

Me: “Oh really, what bar? I’ve been looking for a new place to go.” (Genuinely curious, seeing if this woman can offer some value to me)

Her: “It’s a place called Amsterdam Lounge, on Pleasant Street.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I think I’ve heard of that, did you have fun?” (Notice my curiosity is on her, I am asking if SHE had fun. Not if the bar was fun)

Her: “Yeah we had a blast! We ended up getting free drinks on the house cause it was my friend’s birthday.” (At this point I can tell she is fun, however if you want, this is when it would be appropriate to ask a qualifying question because now it is coming from a place of genuine curiosity)

Me: “Sounds pretty crazy, so did you end up being the girl taking care of everyone, or was it the other way around?”

Her: “It was definitely the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!” (Although this may seem like a simple response, it is absolutely perfect, by being genuinely curious in the girl I’ve learned that she can party, likes to have a good time, and could even go on to assume she is the party starter if she kept up with the birthday woman in regards to having drinks that night).

So once you get into to the habit of putting your awareness into a place of expressive curiosity, there is one other habit you must instill to achieve perfect dominance. This habit fulfills where your mind is at during the response part of your interaction. In other words, this dating advice means you need to be concentrating on when she is talking, and when you are responding to what she says.

Forming The Right Responses

So where should your concentration be when listening and responding to a woman?

  • If she is talking and your concentration is on her looks (or having sex with her), you failed
  • If she is talking and your concentration is on what to say next, you failed
  • If she is talking or you are responding and your concentration is on what she is thinking of you, you failed.

However, if your awareness is on appreciating her for sharing something about herself, and being genuinely excited to be flirting with her, then you are truly thinking like someone that is naturally good with women.

When a woman responds to the questions you asked from a place of genuine curiosity, your response to her answers needs to come from a place of “Appreciation.” In other words, she has done or shown something about herself that you find attractive, you need to show your appreciation to show that this girl is actually getting your attention in a good way.

Do not feel like you have to force anything or be over the top with praise and compliments, you are simply showing your excitement over the fact that there is actually something interesting you find about this girl. This focus allows for you to start creating a real deep connection with the woman while also letting her learn about yourself.

To continue off the previous dating advice example, the last thing she said was:

Her: “It was defiantly the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!”

Me: “That’s what’s up! I could tell you know how to party.” *High Five* (Now this high five comes from me being genuinely excited that she is a fun woman. I am not doing it as an excuse to touch her, it is simply my actions lining up with my mode of thinking) “I’m the same way, you can’t let your buddy be the only hammered person at a party, sometimes you just got to show that support and keep up with them. It’s common courtesy.” (Now I have used that same appreciation focus to let her know that I like that quality because I am similar)

Her: I couldn’t agree more! (She has now complied to the fact that we are similar. Just because of my approach, our seemingly meaningless conversation has created a strong connection)

To summarize, this dating advice is crucial to your success! When you are talking to a woman, you need to come from a place of genuine, expressive curiosity, and when listening to her, you need to appreciate what she is saying. This will skyrocket your results when dating women.

Dating Tips: How To Keep A Group Date From Becoming A Total Disaster

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While dating is typically only about you and your significant other, there are times when you’ll end up heading out with other couples. Group dates can be highly enjoyable, especially when you’re with a group of mutual friends and have fun plans. They can also go horribly awry—the more people involved, the higher the chance that someone’s not having a good time. Before you and your S.O. accept an invitation to a group date, make sure to think over a few important points.

Who To Invite

First and foremost, you need to consider who all is going to be heading out together on the date. How well do you know everyone? Is there a person whom you or your partner find particularly difficult to spend time with? If you learn that someone you really don’t enjoy being around will be there, you may want to skip this particular group date. If you don’t know one or two of the people who are coming along, you should try to find out more about them from your other friends.

It’s best to go into a group date situation knowing at least a little about everyone involved. It will make conversations easier and rule out the element of the unknown. It’s important to avoid group dates with another couple that’s volatile—you don’t want someone else’s fighting to cause drama in your own relationship. Plus, even if their fighting doesn’t spread to you, they’ll make your whole date a downer. It’s also important to consider how many couples should go out together on the date.

The more people you add to the mix, the higher the odds of someone having a bad time and bringing the rest of the group down. You may have a lot more fun having dinner with one other couple that you both like than two or three other couples you don’t know very well.

What To Do

Once you know that you’ve got a fun group lined up to hang out, you’ll need to consider what kind of activity works well for a group date. Sporty activities like bowling, a game of softball, or a round of mini golf can be fun with a group. However, if one or two of your friends is hyper-competitive, or you know a few people really don’t like sports, it’s worth planning something else.

It’s key to make sure that you find something everyone will enjoy, otherwise you might find one or two people in the group are moping around. If not everyone in the group already knows each other, you might want to do something that will provide you with a talking point. Go to a movie or show and then have drinks afterward, that way you’ll all have something to discuss. That also lets everyone relax for the first part of the night, since you can’t really talk during a film or performance.

Group dates can also be a good way for you to introduce your significant other to your friends, or vice versa. If everyone’s having a great time, your friends will probably appreciate your new boyfriend or girlfriend even more. That’s part of why it’s important to pick out an activity that will be fun for everyone involved.

Why Group Dates Can Be Fun

While you should still spend most of your dating time one-on-one with your significant other, having a group date every now and again is a great idea. It helps you connect with your friends and your boyfriend or girlfriend at the same time, and it adds some variety to your dating plans. It can be a really good way to get out of a rut. Even if a group date goes horribly wrong, you might still get something good out of it. Sometimes just seeing another couple have a meltdown can make you realize just how good you’ve got it in your own relationship!

How To Meet Women

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When it comes to dating, if you are not approaching and striking up conversations with women during the day, you are missing out!

Many people think that in order to meet a woman, you need to go to a bar or club. This is simply not the case when it comes to meeting and dating quality women. There is a hesitation many people face when it comes to talking to an attractive girl during day-to-day activities. If you feel this way, you are really limiting yourself to the women you could meet in your life.

Meeting a women in the day time is an interesting concept because it takes the element of “pick up,” that one generally associates with a bar or club, and applies it to stores and street venues. What is partiality intriguing though, is if you asked any girl how they envision meeting their dream guy, it never seems to take place in a nighttime venue. Girls will always go on describe a random occurrence at a coffee shop or mall, where the man of their dream just falls into their life and a connection is made.

The Hollywood Effect

Thanks to the picture that books, movies, and television has created, women have the fantasy that they will meet a man for them while going about their day-to-day activities. This perhaps explains why a woman will always put more work into her appearance before going out on a series of errands. If a woman expects to be out and about for than more than an hour, then you can bet they dress to impress (or at least shower and apply make up, unlike what can be said about some of our male counterparts).

It can easily be assumed that women want to be approached during the daytime thanks to the fantasies that they have imagined. This is why it is not uncommon to see a girl doing schoolwork by herself at a Starbucks, or hanging around longer than needed in a Café. She probably did not need to leave her apartment to get work done, yet she got herself put together to be presentable during the day time before going out.

If a women puts all that effort into their presentation before going out, it seems safe to assume that they are indeed meeting men they are interested in during the daytime. Or at least for mindset purposes, assume this is true and your actions will reflect it. Yet it still seems that women flock to bars and clubs as a means of meeting men, now why do you think that is?

Approaching Women During The Day

Let me ask you a question, how many times a day do you think a beautiful women gets approached by a man that attempt to spark a conversation with her?

3 times?

5 times?

Or even a better question, how many times a week do you think she gets approached?

5 times?

10 times?

After interviewing some of the most beautiful women I have met in cities like New York City and Miami as well as asking my close attractive female friends that go out on a day to day basis (for example they always does their school work at Starbucks) I found that they all gave me the same number when it came to approaches from men during the daytime.

Each of these women are NEVER approached by men during the day time! It’s that simple. When I asked if there was ever a time a guy came up and tried to start a conversation with them they all drew a blank. Sure they would get the occasional once over from guys walking by, or maybe a rude sex remark yelled from a distance. But when it came to them doing their day-to-day activities, not so much as a simple “Hey, what’s up?” has ever been extended their way.

Taking The “Daytime” Dating Approach

We have to face the fact men are simply not approaching women during the daytime, yet women prepare themselves for the off chance that it may happen. It is even fair to say that women are more ready and susceptible to a man’s approach than they are at a bar or club. All their guards are down and there is that subtle fantasy that one day a man will genuinely spark a conversation with her and they will have a real connection.

So if you are not already approaching and chatting up women during your day to day activities, just think that myself, and all the single ladies in the world are encouraging you to take advantage of this untapped resource when it comes to meeting and dating women.