Singles & Dating

4 Things To Know Before You Email A Girl

Online dating doesn’t have to be as scary as it seems. Keep these things in mind before you send a message to a woman you’re interested in if you want success!

Your message box is where you’ll be spending most of your time in a dating site because once your proﬁle is set up, all you’re going to be doing is searching for women, e-mailing them and replying to women’s emails.

A lot of guys can’t bridge the gap between talking and writing letters. They try to do things like they do in real life, but unfortunately that doesn’t translate well to the Internet. As a result, they don’t get replies from women and they quit.

Here’s how I was when I started:

I would read these women’s proﬁles and I thought that every e-mail I would send out was really unique and funny and interesting and everything that I thought she was looking for based on reading her proﬁle. I would spend 15 to 20 minutes on each e-mail and I would send out dozens of these and dozens more.

I would spend hours and hours sending out e-mails thinking I’m going to get a ton of response. Unfortunately, no e-mails came. If you’ve ever been on a dating site and sent off e-mails, this has probably happened to you. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that when you don’t get a response to your e-mail it’s a long way from getting a date and further away than that from having sex with a woman.

Don’t quit. I didn’t, and the patience paid off.

1. Copy The Best

I didn’t know what kind of e-mails I should write that women would respond to. What happened was I would write these long e-mails that would take 15 minutes to write. It would contain all these great things about her online dating proﬁle that I really liked, and what things we have in common. The problem was I would never hear back from these women.

Let’s say you have an account in one of the sites and you got several e-mails coming in from guys who were interested in this woman. You can shut the proﬁle off after a day or two and read through everything that the account received.

Here’s what I do. I would look at the e-mails, take the best ones, tweak them for myself and then send them out. I call this system “Copy the Best,” for obvious reasons. One thing that’s great about this technique is you know what your competition is doing, how they land dates, and how they write good emails.

Of course, it wouldn’t do to just copy. Inject your personality in these emails. It’s the same as writing your own, but now you have some good “email templates” you can use.

2. Watch Your Subject Line

Your subject line is important, obviously, because if you don’t want your mail buried in those 30 to 100 e-mails she has received that day. If you’ve spent a lot of time creating your email, you don’t want it deleted or thrown in an archive unopened. Your subject line plays a crucial role when sending a message to a girl who doesn’t know you yet.

Here are some suggestions on how to write a subject line that gets her curious enough to open your mail:

No generic greetings. Whatever you do, never put a generic greeting like “hello” or “hi” on the subject line. What I’ve discovered is that 80% to 90% of the time men send out emails that have “Hi!” or “Hello” as subject lines. To a woman, one message that has this as a subject is like all the rest of the emails she received the past week.
Use a cliffhanger. You could say something like, “Hey, I read your proﬁle but….” which will instantly get her thinking “but what?” The element of doubt at the end of the subject line will get her clicking to ﬁnd out what you mean with “but.”
Use subjects that the dating site sends you. You’re going to notice that every dating site that you sign up to will have their own e-mails they send you. You know what these are – “you have mail,” or “your newest match.” One of my favorite subject lines is, “This member might be interested in you…” That subject line right there is one of the best ever, especially if you get a woman who checks you out or winks at you.
Include her name. Look at her proﬁle and ﬁgure out if she’s using her ﬁrst name or an alias. If she uses her name in the proﬁle, you can deﬁnitely use that in the subject line.
Use “Re:” What this does is creates curiosity like they might have already e-mailed or spoken to you. Remember, because they’re getting e-mailed so many times per day, they might not even remember if they did or didn’t.
If she sent you a wink and you want to e-mail her back, you can use a subject line that says “this member is also interested in you.” Or, you can say “thanks for the wink. I’m looking forward to your e-mail.”

3. Take Note of Patterns

What you do next is set up different two different e-mails, maybe you have one of your own, maybe you have an idea for something you think is going to work. So take two of them and start sending out mail to the different women.

Divide it up. If you send out 20 emails, send 10 from one address and 10 from the other.

What you’ll discover is one of these is going to get more responses than the other. Once you have the “winner” (basically the email address that gets more replies), start carpet bombing the whole site because then you have an e-mail that produces great results.

There’s another thing that happens when you use only one email. You’re going to burn through your list of “possible dates” (meaning, these girls live nearby and there’s a big chance that you can meet ASAP) if you send mail from only one address. This means if the girl did not reply, or she deleted your ﬁrst mail, you’re not going to get a chance to e-mail again.

So, use separate emails and test them out.

4. The Best Day To Send Emails

If there’s a “good time to call,” there’s also a “good time to send emails.” I kept track of the emails that got the best responses, and guess what? There are three days in a week that worked better for sending out e-mails. Those three days are Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Why Friday, Saturday and Sunday?

Friday in the late afternoon, anywhere from 2:00 to 5:00 pm is an ideal window for you to send out your e-mails. This day, for a lot of people, is just a slack. Maybe some industries aren’t that busy and maybe some people just slack off in the later part of the day. On this day, a lot of women will be on the Internet checking their emails, just basically waiting until they get out of there so they can go home.

Send out your mail on a Saturday morning from about 10:00 am to 1:00 pm.

These girls go out on Friday night and they’re looking to meet somebody but most of the time, they don’t. The guys they want to meet don’t go up and approach them. If they do, it’s using some corny pick-up line that just doesn’t work. The frustrated women wake up on a Saturday and check their e-mails like normal people do on a Saturday morning and poof! There’s your e-mail.

For the same reason, Sunday morning to mid-afternoon from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm is ideal for sending out emails. Let’s suppose these ladies went out on Saturday night and didn’t meet anyone. That’s two days in a row and you can bet they’re feeling a bit more frustrated. Finding your email at that point would be most welcome!

5 Ways NOT To Be A Chump With Women

By bobbybradshaw

Dating tips will often prepare you for what to do, but what about things you want to avoid? Here’s how to keep from coming across as a jerk with girls.

1. Asking A Girl Out

What The Idiot Would Say

“You are really beautiful – I’ve love to take you out sometime.”

What The Champ Would Say

“You seem like you might be a lot of fun. We should grab a drink sometime.”

See the difference??

The idiot is letting her know that he is SOLD on her. He already thinks she’s beautiful, and then, by asking her out, it makes it look like she would be doing him a favor if she said yes!

Not good.

But the champ, well he hasn’t quite made up his mind yet. He says she seems like she MIGHT be fun and wants to grab a drink with her to find out.

This laid back, low pressure approach is one of the best dating tips out there. It not only lets a woman know that it’s gonna take more than her looks to impress you, but also that you’re not quite sold on her. Which in turn will make her much more likely to want to hang out with you so she can CONVINCE you that she is fun!

Get it?

2. Talking On The Phone

In these days where everyone is text messaging, I’ve found it very effective to call a girl on the phone and have a great conversation with her.

There are plenty of tricks for making phone convos great, but for now, let’s just talk about a little thing champs do at the end of a call that idiots don’t.

They hang up!

I don’t mean literally hanging up a girl. But a lot of stupid guys will keep on talking to a girl until SHE has to go.

But a champ will always end the call first, showing that he has a life and is a busy guy with things to do.

Most importantly, it leaves her wanting MORE.

What An Idiot Would Say

“Well, it was good talking to you. I’ll give you a call this weekend and we’ll see what’s going on.”

What A Champ Would Say

“Well it was good talking to you. I’ll talk to you later.”

See the difference?

These are one of the more subtle dating tips, but it’s really HUGE.

You in the first example, when you end a phone call with, “I’ll call you this weekend” you are saying two things:

That you are interested in her, and want to talk to her again to make plans
That YOU are going to be the one to call to initiate these plans

But by saying these two things, you are creating two problems:

You are showing too much interest! What kind of challenge does it create if she KNOWS you are going to call her that weekend to make plans? The answer: None!

By telling her you are going to call her, you are essentially rendering her UNABLE to call YOU!

You see, since you said YOU’D be calling, now if she calls you she’ll feel like she looks desperate.

On the other hand, if you end the conversation with a simple, “talk to you later,” then she is free to call you as she wishes, and you are also free to call her as you wish.

Perhaps best of all, this removes the PREDICTABILITY from the situation – as if you tell her you’re going to call that weekend, then she knows you’re going to and it’s not a fun surprise.

3. At The End Of A Date

Here’s another similar example, this time at the end of a first date.

What The Idiot Would Say

“We should do this again some time. How about this weekend?”

What A Champ Would Say

Nothing!

He’d wish her a good night, but make no mention of hanging out again, leaving her wondering if he was interested.

Now, let’s talk about the psychology of this one for a second. You see, a girl is so used a guy going for Date #2 at the end of Date #1 that when a guy leaves it open, she doesn’t know what to think!

Her first instinct is to worry that he didn’t have a good time, and isn’t interested in a second date! She’ll often worry about it for DAYS afterwards.

Then, when you DO call to ask her out again, she is so RELIEVED that she automatically says “YES!” and is super excited to see you again!

4. During A Date

Now let’s talk about DURING a date.

What An Idiot Would Say

Well, a dumb guy might say a bunch of things. A bunch of things about himself, maybe that aren’t true, in an attempt to impress the girl.

He might talk about his car, his job, or his exotic vacations. Or he might “name drop” or make things up in order to sound cooler than he really is. And let me tell you – NOTHING turns a girl off faster than a guy who is trying too hard to impress her.

Remember, attractive women have seen IT ALL. And when a guy brags and boasts, even if he does it in a subtle way, a woman sees this an INSECURITY. Worst of all, this lets her know that SHE is in control.

Think about it – if you’re trying to impress her, that tells her that you are already sold on her! Challenge over!

What A Champ Would Say

“So tell me about you. What’s your story?”

Then, he will ask questions to size HER up.

He might ask her what she wants to do with her life, the coolest place she’s ever been to in the world, where her dream vacation would be, and what she wants to do before she dies.

Not “job interview” style, but definitely a PERSONALITY INTERVIEW. A champ sets it up so HE is the “selector,” not her. And he needs to know that a woman has a good personality if he’s going to date her – her looks aren’t enough.

So he’s not afraid to ask questions that help him find out more about what’s going on with a woman below the surface. Women RESPECT that. A lot.

There is nothing a woman loves to talk about more than her dreams, hopes and desires, so not only does this set you up as the “selector” and as a challenge, it also makes for a really fun date!

10 Steps To Have A Stripper Threesome

By deancortez

A stripper is more sexually adventurous than most women. They like to get it on in all kinds of freaky ways! Therefore, they are more likely to have a threesome with you. But how do you get there?

1. Two Ways To Get Started

You can do this one of two ways – try to get two women to experiment that you met that night – OR get your regular girlfriend in on it.

2. Keep Your Game Tight

As for the two new women you just met – it could happen, but your game has to be TIGHT. If you get them a little drunk and playful, that helps. Just don’t let them keep playing with each other unless you’re involved. You want to be telling them what to do and asserting your dominance over them in a playful way.

If they’re REALLY into it, and you know they’re not going to have some freak-out because they’re leaving the bar, you need to get them home. I don’t suggest even trying to get her out of the club until after 1:00AM or so. If she feels like she’s ‘missing something’ at the bar, or with her friends, she won’t go.

3. Invent An “After-Party” At Your Place

You need a reason to get them to your place (or even one of theirs) that doesn’t “break her state of mind.” And you don’t want to make it obvious that this is why you’re leaving – to have a threesome. The reason needs to be MORE FUN.

You’ve got booze, you’ve got music, you’ve got a big couch with pillows, and you’ve got something they all have to see. Maybe it’s a huge lava lamp. Maybe it’s a movie where you were an extra. Maybe it’s your pictures from Australia. Just have something mega-cool to go see. This is the excuse they need.

Don’t ask them, either. TELL THEM. And start by telling one chick that the OTHER chick wants to go, and vice-versa. “Donna says she wants to go have some more fun, because this place is starting to get lame. C’mon.”

4. Have Your House Ready First

When you get them to your house, you make sure the lights are down, that funky light is on, the music goes on, and the drinks come out right away. I’m not going into how to setup your house here, bro, but you need to have all the clocks hidden, and the house neat and smelling good. This is stuff you should know by now.

5. Play A Game

You need to get them back to the same flirtatious feelings you were having in the bar, so I always pull out a game or something to mess with. I’ve got cards, dominoes, a Ouija board, dice, all in one drawer.

6. How To Get Your Girlfriend In On It

If you get your regular girlfriend in on it, make sure you’ve talked about her past and if she’s had one before. If NEITHER of you has had a threesome, you got something to discuss. She’ll get jealous, and you’re going to have a weird time. Get it straight FIRST. Then the rest will be easy for you. Just let her take the lead.

7. Introduce Erotic Massage

Start with a “massage circle” where everyone massages in a line, you in the middle. Then get them to massage on each other. From there it’s EASY to get them to start doing an erotic massage on each other.

8. Use The “Kiss Test”

Do the “kiss test” where you kiss one of the chicks and pull away. You say: “Hmm. Not bad. Let me try her…” Then you kiss the other chick. After that, you say: “Not bad, either. Here, you try her.” Then you gently pull the first girl over to the girl you just kissed and let them go at it.

9. Let It Roll

Once they get started, everything takes care of itself. Just make sure you start in the right place so you don’t have to move from the kitchen to the bedroom, or the hallway to the bedroom.

10. Don’t Push Them Too Far Too Fast

A threesome should happen at the girl’s pace. If you start seeing one of the women getting weird (you’ll see it in her eyes, where she looks, how much she’s looking down, etc.) you need to go back to making her comfortable and loosened up. She has to feel safe and protected in this zone. Which means you have to be willing to back off BEFORE she starts to put the brakes on for you.

This is important! If you miss these moments when a woman is getting all weird, and SHE ends up stopping you, then you probably will never get it back to where it was before.

If you focus on their enjoyment and make it about them, you can score the threesome. If it’s only about you, you’ll scare them off.

How To Tell If A Stripper Isn’t Really Into You

By deancortez

A stripper isn’t going to show she likes you the same way other girls do – but here are some telltale signs that will let you know she’s playing you.

Strippers will often give you phony signals in order to make you think they’re into you. This is how they make their money and play their game! Most guys fall for it, because mentally, they think they’re in a regular bar and the same rules apply. This is a huge mistake – and it will likely cost you quite a bit of money if you end up falling for it.

The strip club is a different universe. It’s not a bar, where women are vulnerable and show their “real selves” to guys there. The woman you see on stage isn’t who she really is – almost all strippers wear a “mask.” They have a different persona when they’re in the club than they have in real life. You’ve got to be able to recognize the false signals, and build the connection so that she begins to give you real signals of interest.

How To Tell She’s Faking It:

She walks over and starts touching you immediately: running her fingernails along your shoulder, neck, or arm, or sitting down on your lap.
She leads off with generic questions. “What’s your name?” “Are you having a good time?” etc.
Laughing at practically everything you say, as if she thinks you’re the most clever man alive (and you’re not really saying anything that clever)
She “confesses” her real name to you, without you prompting her to do so. (She’s probably still telling you a phony name.)
Batting her eyelashes and looking straight into your eyes
Gently squeezing her breasts together, between her elbows, while she looks at you
Telling you that you’re cute/sexy/handsome/hot
Complimenting you on your shoes or your watch. (Experienced strippers notice these two aspects of a man’s appearance; it’s a quick way to gauge how much money he’s got.)
Bending forward so you can check out her breasts
Rubbing her body as she flirts with you
Telling you she’s “drunk,” or “horny”
Rubbing your chest or your crotch within minutes of meeting you

The typical customer, mesmerized by her hotness, will mistake these “stripper tricks” as indicators that she’s genuinely into him. This compels him to start shelling out money.

Don’t take the bait. Ignore it. If she starts rubbing on you, move her hand away and tell her, “Whoa…I’m not that easy. Can’t you at least buy me dinner first?”

Again, you’re behaving in the opposite manner of the previous 437 fools who came in her strip club and bought into her “sales pitch.” Your job is to deflect the pitch, break her out of her routine, and control the interaction.

How To Be An Alpha Male

By loveandsex

Dating tips are essential for scoring women – and you have to be in control if you want to do that. Step up and be an alpha male with these helpful dating tips!

An alpha male is something that a lot of guys strive to be, but ultimately fail at. Being this kind of guy can lead to a lot of dates and respect from co-workers. It’s important to remember that being an alpha male can easily bleed from your dating life into your work life. Standing up for yourself and not avoiding conflict can liberate you from the pack while helping you gain confidence.

The metamorphoses into an alpha male cannot happen overnight. You have to condition yourself for it. Once you have mastered this persona, you should see a lot more dates and have a better perception of yourself throughout your career. Here are some ways that you can develop your inner alpha male.

Thinking Is Being

An alpha male is more confident than the rest of the guys around him. While you don’t have to be a complete dick, offering an opinion that goes against the grain and not being afraid to be yourself is a trait that you should be striving for. Have a good attitude and think highly of yourself.

These kinds of guys have minimal insecurities when it comes to women. They don’t let women push them around and they don’t play games. Think of yourself in this light and you will start to see yourself as the kind of guy that you want to be.

Keep Your Fitness In Check

Alpha males are physically fit. You don’t have to be a gym rat, but you should start thinking about getting into shape if you want to adopt this persona. Running 2-3 times per week is enough to help shed some of your winter weight. Think about investing in some small weights to keep around your house. Having decent biceps and a good chest can change your confidence level immensely.

Join a gym if you have to, but make sure that you are getting into shape. It’s going to be hard to implement your new alpha persona if you are self-conscious about your body.

Don’t Try Too Hard To Qualify Yourself!

In most dating situations, the guy will try to qualify himself to the girl. This is seen through bragging about his education, job or income status. You never want to qualify yourself to the girl. You want to be the guy that has women qualifying themselves to you. Have you ever been in a bar and seen a guy trying way too hard to get a girl’s attention?

Maybe they’re being too loud and telling stories about the big deal they just closed. These guys are paper-thin and women see right through it. You don’t want to be that guy. Being an alpha male is about conveying confidence without looking like you’re trying.

Ban Jealousy From Your Life

Alpha males do not get jealous. One of the most common characteristics of men is that they get jealous when their girlfriends or potential dates are hanging all over another guy. Because this is a common characteristic of men, women know how to use it to their advantage. If they are not getting the attention they want or they are simply trying to make you jealous, it is in your best interest to not respond. Your goal is to go against the grain.

When a girl is trying to make you jealous and you show that it doesn’t bother you, she will take notice. She will start thinking, “Why isn’t he getting upset?” Even if it does make you angry, don’t let it show.

Ban Neediness From Your Life

There is nothing more pathetic than a guy that is needy or clingy. If you have ever been accused of being needy or clingy, it’s time to make a change that will stick. Calling or texting all the time, having to see her every day or inviting yourself along to different events displays clinginess and neediness. If you feel the need to call all the time, set up a schedule. Make sure that you’re not calling her every day. Call her every 2-3 days so that she knows that you’re interested, but that you’re not needy.

Women can’t stand a needy guy and alpha males do not need to have women around them. Jealousy shows insecurity. You should have enough confidence in yourself to know that she is not going to be interested in other guys after she meets you. Resist the temptation of calling and texting, especially the day after a date, and you should start to see more positive results. When you do call or text, she will be a lot more open to seeing you again.