Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Singles & Dating

4 Reasons She Won’t Have Sex With You

By

Finding out why a girl won’t have sex with you doesn’t have to be the cat and mouse games of Sherlock Holmes. Unlocking these secrets can usually be done within a matter of minutes, if not seconds, depending on the kind of girl who you are talking to.

It’s fairly obvious when a girl is interested in a guy, but this interest doesn’t always extend to finding out what he’s like in bed 2-3 hours after meeting him. For some, 2-3 months may not even be long enough before she allows the guy to discover what’s lingering under the sheets. But, the good news is that there are few different ways that you can decipher why she won’t have sex with out in order to make a decision of sticking around or getting the hell out of there.

Here are 4 reasons that she won’t have sex with you.

4 Reasons She Won’t Have Sex With You

1. She Doesn’t See You As Long Term Material

This is a huge reason that a lot of girls won’t have sex with a guy. Sure, you might be fun, attractive and even nice to her on the date, but don’t expect this to mean much. If you have cultivated a perception that you aren’t ready to settle down with her then you probably won’t be sleeping with her anytime soon.

Most women want a guy that is going to stick around long enough to meet her parents or even get on the road marriage. If she sees you as some fling that won’t last much more than a month, then your chances of sleeping with her are diminishing. Keep comments like “I’m never getting married” to an absolute minimum and you should start to see her come around after a little while.

2. She’s Religious

There’s nothing wrong with being religious, but if you are dating a girl who is devoted to the high and mighty, you’re in a very long dry spell.

Religious girls can make excellent mates. They are loyal, focused and they have family values, but this means that they aren’t going to just jump into bed with any guy. It could take years or even a ring to actually get this type of girl to have sex with you. Unless you really do love the girl, it’s probably best to simply move. It’s not fair to keep her around because she looks good in your passenger seat when you know that your values do not mesh with hers.

Let her down easy and find a girl that is less…fundamental.

3. You’re Too Flirty

It should go without saying, but a lot of guys keep on doing it: don’t flirt with other girls when you’re with somebody you’re dating. Even if you are just joking around, its hurtful to the girl that you’re with and it will keep her from investing in you physically.

When you’re with a girl, make sure that you are only with her. Don’t check out other girls around you, don’t flirt with waitresses and never compare another girl to the one that you’re with. Women want to feel special and you’re supposed to do that when you’re on a date with them.

No girl is going to give it up to some guy that puts more attention on a bartender than the girl he brought to the bar. Focus on her and you will see better results.

4. She’s A Control Freak

There is an old saying “why buy the cow when you get the milk for free.” If you’re dating a girl that puts a high value on sex then you’re probably going to be waiting a long time or you may never get to have sex with her.

Women play games much better than men. They can hold sex over a guy’s head and most men will not do anything about it. A control freak likes to have the ball on her court. This means that she will not only dictate the terms of the relationship, she’s going to dictate the terms of every time you have sex.

Sex is supposed to be the meeting of two people. Give and take. Compromise. But if you have encountered this type of woman, it’s always going to be on her terms and when she says it’s okay. If you think that you’re dating a control freak, leave immediately. Being with a girl that uses sex to control you will eventually wear you down. Save yourself a lot of time and find somebody new.

What You Need To Find Out On The First Date

By

The first date is a critical time to find out certain things about the guy you’re with to determine whether you want to keep dating him or not.

You’ve got yourself a hot date with a new potential romantic partner. You’re all excited, and you’re really looking forward to it, but now what? What do you need to find out on the first date?

What She Said About The First Date:

The only thing you need to find out is:

  1. Does he worship Satan?
  2. Is he married?
  3. Does he have a warrant out for his arrest?

Other then those 3 topics, you should not be worried about finding things out about a guy on a first date, all the details will fall into place. There should not be questions you think you should ask or a mental check list of what you hope he will say. First dates are all about having fun and getting to know someone!

If it is super important for you to find certain things out about him before you even consider continuing on the first date let a lone having a second date then here are some general things that you should find out.

Is He A Good Kisser?

Ok, so maybe you will have to wait till the end of the date to find this out, but a lot can be discovered in the way he kisses you. Starting with who makes the first move to kiss. Does he very nervously try to lean in? Does he grab you and push you gently up against a wall? Does he peck you on the cheek like you’re his sister? Then you need to find out how he kisses you and how you two kiss together. Is it sloppy? Pokey tongue? No tongue? Do you guys find your groove? The best kisses are the ones where the two people are able to adapt to each other and sort of let their tongues dances. If he is a good kisser first time around, imagine how good he will be in bed!

Is He Nice To Waiters/Waitresses?

This is pretty self explanatory. If he is a dick to others when he is trying to impress you, he’s going to someday be a dick to you. I am not saying that he needs to overly tip or make a big deal but seeing how he treats people that are basically working for you, is a huge insight to how he treats people on a day to day basis. This could also go the other way, is he is flirting with the waitress or gives her his number then this guy is a jerk.

Does He Listen To You?

First dates are all about getting to know the other person and also about trying to impress them. There is a fine line between listening to the other person and preparing something great to say. If he is so in his head that he is worried about what he will say next that he doesn’t even hear what you are saying then this guy blows.

Did You End The Date Still Hungry?

Not hungry for food, hungry for more of him! And not sexual, I mean hungry to learn more about him, to spend more time with him. Oh, ok and maybe a little naked mattress dancing. But if you ended the date and found that you wanted more, that is awesome!

These 4 points that I talked about are pretty general but I hope you get the idea. You could spend the date wondering if he is the one and building up your expectations but then you are just going to be disappointed. Instead, have fun and get to know the guy. Listen to your heart and your gut. If you feel a spark then plan a second date or invite him up for a cup of sex…err…coffee.

What He Said About The First Date:

The main thing you want to find out on a first date is whether or not you want a second one. It’s really that simple. How do you do that? The first test is simple chemistry. When you look in their eyes, do you feel a tingling in your naughty places? That’s most important. If you don’t look at them and think it would be fun to get naked with them, why bother with the rest?

This brings you to the second thing you need to consider on your first date. My rule of thumb is if you don’t want to be around them when their clothes are on, then you shouldn’t take their clothes off. No one is saying you need to be face to face with your soulmate before you do it, but you should at least like them and run a little background check in your mind. I don’t mean an actual background check, but simply run them up against your list of “must haves” and “deal breakers.” If they pass this check, then see if they have any of your “nice to haves.” If they do, score!

I also say no first date should last longer than an hour, ideally 30 minutes. Why? Because you’re going to know whether or not you want a second date, almost right away. If you don’t want to see them again, why drag it out?

How To Screw Up A First Date

By

A first date is a one of the most important parts of the relationship. A first date is certainly not the end all for a relationship, but generally, a girl knows if the guy is somebody that they want to see again within the first ten minutes. However, there are times when a girl can easily screw up a first date. While this doesn’t typically happen as often as when a guy does it, it can still occur. Here are a few things that will instantly screw up a first date.

Being On Your Cell Phone

No guy likes a girl that is attached to her cell phone. If you go on a first date and you’re constantly texting or answering calls, you can kiss a second date good bye. All cell phones have a silent mode for a reason. If you have a high paying job that basically requires around the clock availability, make sure that the guy knows this.

Most guys are going to be very easy going if you tell them ahead of time. Guys want a girl that is considerate. When you expect him to accommodate your cell phone use without addressing the fact that it is rude, he will probably end the date halfway through. Leave your cell phone in the car if at all possible or turn the phone to silent before you walk into the restaurant.

Talking About Religion

Okay, you’re religious. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, there is a lot that is good about a girl that holds religion in high regard. However, your date might not be ready to talk about his walk with Christ just yet. Religion can have a way of turning friends to foes very quickly. If you have met a guy through church or another religious group then by all means bring up the subject.

This could even lead to a very interesting conversation. However, if you don’t know what religion he is or if he is even a part of a denomination, wait until you know him a little better before you bring up anything that has to do with your faith.

Getting Way Too Drunk On The First Date

One of the worst ways to screw up a first date and any potential for a future relationship is to have too much to drink. It doesn’t matter if you go to a restaurant, club or a bar. Watch your alcohol intake. No guy wants to be with a girl that can’t hold her liquor. When you drink you also make bad decisions. Add to the fact that you might actually like the guy, you could do something in the moment that will send him to the hills. Refrain from drinking in excess at all costs. Order one drink or two if you are feeling nervous and then stick to water for the rest of the evening. This is a great rule to follow when out on a first date.

Talking About Past Relationships

If you have ever been out with a guy or met a guy and couldn’t get him to stop talking about his ex, then you know what we’re talking about. Not only is this annoying on a human level, it will ruin any chance that you have in establishing a relationship with your date. Never bring up past relationships on a first date.

Your date might think that you’re still in love with your ex or that you’re just not completely over the relationship yet. One of the questions that could arise is “How long have you been single?” Go ahead and answer the question honestly, but do not get into the specifics of what happened. Reserve this for another time when you feel more comfortable with the guy and he feels more comfortable with you.

Bringing Up Your Biological Clock

Sure, you might have a plan for the next 5 years, but the last thing that you want to do is bring it up to the guy. Don’t ever start talking about kids or the family that you would like to have on a first date. That’s way beyond jumping the gun and it’s the last thing that you want to do with somebody that you could actually have a relationship with.

If you are older and already have children then you might talk about the children that you already have, but don’t bring up more that you would like to have in the future. When you are out on the date, keep to topics that don’t involve you making the guy a father and you should be okay.

How To Learn To Flirt Easily

By

Learning to flirt can be easy when you look at the examples that other guys who are good at it have set. Here are some great ways to learn to flirt easily!

While it can be great to start off by using pick up lines, you want to eventually develop your own style. Here are some other ways to learn how to talk to women that work.

Irresistible Film Legends

Films can portray false realities that would never happen in real life, but there are some movies where men are doing exactly the right things to attract women. Here’s just a sample of the films you can check out to see men who know how to flirt with women.

The James Bond Series – Pierce Bronson, Sean Connery

Don Juan DeMarco – Johnny Depp

Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom – Harrison Ford

Big Personalities

Often times, telling men to just be normal isn’t enough. To the average shy man the term “normal” can mean staying home and playing video games. To “be normal” or to “be yourself” isn’t the right advice. We want men to develop big personalities.

Women are attracted to spontaneous, unpredictable, mysterious, funny and interesting men. While it’s virtually impossible to list certain qualities and expect men to act accordingly, it is possible to provide some places to help develop these qualities naturally.

Drama Groups

Drama students and actors alike are an interesting bunch. They possess most of the qualities above, including confidence. Joining a drama group that gets together regularly does wonders for a man’s confidence, if he can build up the courage to start.

It may seem silly and strange because it’s not within your comfort zone, but then again neither is talking to women. If you want more self-confidence, sign up for a theatre group today and let the actors’ optimism and quick-wit brush off onto you. Really consider looking up drama classes, it’s the best investment you’ll ever make.

Popular Hosts

Television and radio hosts are paid for their big personalities. Next time you listen to live radio or live TV shows, pay attention to the attitudes, expressions and tone of voice of the host, rather than what they actually say. The reason for listening and watching live broadcasts is because these people need to think on the spot; they naturally have these high social skills.

Watch Real Guys Flirt!

Although the above methods can help, there is nothing better than watching guys in the real world talking to women. While reading information gives you a better understanding, nothing can take the place of real experience. Here are some of the best ways to start observing other experts.

Friends

If any of your friends are great at dating and attracting women, watch them carefully from now on. Watch what they say and how the women react. Go out with them to clubs and bars, parties and social events. If they have girlfriends, watch how they interact together. You’ll notice a lot of their behavior is similar to what you’ve just learned.

Guys In Bars And Clubs

If none of your friends are successful with women, then watch guys in bars and clubs. While it might be difficult to listen in on their conversations, watch the body language these men present while they walk through the clubs. Watch how they interact with women and how the women react. How do you find the most successful men in the club?

Look for men that are already talking to women. Most men never even build up the nerve to approach a single woman the entire night. Men who start conversations effortlessly are the men you want to watch. Also look for self-confident men who have strong posture, direct eye contact and calm movements.

5 Fun First Date Ideas You Can Suggest To Your Guy

By

The first date can be nerve wracking and many guys just don’t know what to do. Give him a few clues with these fun and exciting first date ideas!

First dates can be filled with a lot of pressure. If you would like to relieve some of this pressure, but still get to know a guy that you’re interested in, there are a few fun first dates that you can suggest. The dinner and movie thing has been done to death and neither of you are really going to feel comfortable.

There are several first date ideas that you can use to break the ice without feeling the pressure. If you’re tired of going on uncomfortable first dates without actually getting to know the guy, use these the next time you meet somebody that might be special.

5 Super Fun First Date Ideas

1. Bowling

Bowling is typically something that you might not find yourself doing. However, this can a great fun first date for the both of you. First of all, it’s an activity so it takes the pressure off of constantly having to talk to each other. Secondly, it brings competition into the mix, which can build rapport and sexual tension.

While the bowling alley isn’t exactly The Rainbow Room, there is usually beer and some form of food. Your date will probably not want to watch you shove nachos down your throat, but don’t be afraid to eat something or share something with him. Bowling alleys also have arcades. Don’t hide your inner child. Let him see you rock out on some Donky Kong.

2. Local Music

Do you have an open mic night or a local band night at one of the clubs in your city? This is the perfect first date idea because it involves getting out without the pressures of traditional dinners. Plus, while the bands are in-between acts you can talk. If you’re date is a music buff you might be able to learn a little something all the same.

Don’t go all out and invite the guy to a heavy metal show unless you know that he’s into that. Focus on something that might not even have electric acts. An acoustic act will be set in a venue that will allow you to talk. You can usually find these venues online or through local publications. You can also ask bartenders which night their open mic night is, as some bars do not openly advertise it.

3. Local Trails

Does your guy like to spend his time outdoors? If so, exploring some local trails together can be a great first date. Taking in the scenery and getting to know a potential boyfriend is the perfect combination. It’s not recommended to take him to hard trails unless he is an experienced hiker. You should always come prepared for any injuries that might occur while out in the wilderness. Almost every city or town has local trails or state parks near by. Check with your township for more information on where you can legally hike. The last thing that you want is to hike on private property and get the both of you a trespassing charge!

4. The Aquarium

Have you ever been to an aquarium? If the last time that you went to the aquarium was on a 7th grade field trip, it might be time to return. The aquarium is a very romantic setting that can help both you and your date appreciate sea life. Walking around the tanks also gives off another worldly feel, making it more romantic than a smoky bar or stuffy dinner at a restaurant you’ve been to one hundred times before. Try to pick a time or day that there won’t be a lot of people at the aquarium.

Sharing the experiences with your date on an off day is a great way to get solidarity. One of the best things about the aquarium is the fact that you can actually learn something together. All of the weird creatures that live in the sea can also lead to some interesting conversations.

5. Street Fairs

Street fairs are mostly conducted in the spring or summer, but there are several fall fairs that you can go to also. Street fairs are great because it gives you and your date a reason to mosey around to different booths. You can talk to local artists and craftsman and there is usually music. Another reason that you should go to a street fair is that it can easily lead to dinner afterward. Doing something that will break the ice before you really start to get to know each other can remove the majority of the pressure associated with first dates.