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You are here: Home / Archives for Singles & Dating / Seduction Tips

How To Escalate To A Sexual Relationship With A Stripper

By deancortez

Seduction requires escalation to a sexual relationship. If you don’t escalate, the conversation will stay in “neutral” (and possibly fizzle out) when you need to be shifting to a higher gear. Escalation is about sexualizing the interaction. You’re basically signaling to her: I’m a man. You’re a woman. And I’m a confident, masculine guy who can give you a great orgasm.

Remember what I said before about the importance of leading women. They love it when a guy they’re attracted to starts leading them down the path towards sex, instead of just pretending to be their “friend.”

Consider a typical interaction between a guy and a girl he meets at a bar. He might have strong “conversation game” and be able to entertain her for a while with funny questions, interesting stories, etc.

Flirt From The Start!

If a guy never starts flirting and taking the interaction in a sexual direction, her attraction to him is not going to grow. In her mind, he’s just another “nice guy” who she may enjoy talking to, but she’s not imagining anything happening beyond that. The guys I know who are super-successful with women are great at being a flirt.

Strippers know they are hot; their entire job revolves around looking as hot as possible in order to make money. So while you don’t want to sit there paying her compliments about how beautiful she is, you should let her know (at the right stage) that you’re into her sexually and this isn’t just a chat between two buddies.

Don’t tell her that she’s beautiful, but do give her signs that you’re into her sexually (once you’re deep into building comfort and attraction). Flirting means doing this in a playful way that isn’t weird or creepy.

Escalation is the bridge that takes you from the conversation/comfort stage to the seduction. When a guy doesn’t escalate and suddenly “puts a move” on a girl (like trying to hold her hand, or inviting her back to his place), it feels awkward and forced.

The classic example is the guy who takes a girl on a date, and keeps his hands to himself all night, just making small talk. Then, when he drops her off at her house at the end of the date, he tries to get a goodnight kiss and she turns her head and offers her cheek.

If he had escalated during the date, the goodnight kiss would have been assured. And maybe a lot more. So, you’ll escalate at the strip club in two ways: physical and verbal. These can happen at the same time.

Establish Body Contact

Physical escalation means establishing (subtle) body contact. It’s important for her to get used to your touch, and for you to show her that you can touch her and still control yourself.

In a strip club, this can take some self-discipline. When you’re sitting with a half-naked stripper with fake breasts nearly popping out of her bra, and she’s perfectly willing to sit on your lap and cuddle with you (in order to sell you dances), it’s easy—and tempting—to let her initiate the contact and go along with it.

Instead, you should playfully deflect her early attempts to touch you. (“Whoa, you’re frisky. Don’t treat me like a prom date, ok—not until I get to know you better, at least.)

You’ll be the one to touch her. And you’ll do it in a subtle “invisible” way that never makes her feel uncomfortable, or makes you seem like a customer who wants to cop a feel. By the way, when it comes to making body contact, the fact that a strip club is loud works to your advantage. It gives you a reason to sit close to her and lean in when you speak.

When you agree with something she is saying, and you want to tell her your thoughts, lean in and touch her lightly on the knee as you talk. Caress her knee very gently, then move your hand away.

As you do a “Cold Read,” lean in and touch her hand. Look straight into your eyes as you do this. This heightens the effect.

If you’re telling her something “personal” or sharing an “inside joke,” lean in and whisper it into her ear. Touch her lightly on the forearm. This is an intimate act that will give her goose bumps if done correctly.

If she says something funny (or something you think is totally cool), give her a high-five and clasp her hand in yours for a moment, then let it go. Build the contact.

Keep Your Touches Brief

When the conversation is real, so is the effect of your physical touches. If you haven’t successfully built comfort with her, then any touching that goes on is just typical stripper-customer behavior. Start subtly making contact with her—at the right time—and you’re injecting sexual energy into the interaction.

The trick is to keep your touches brief. The idea is to make her miss your touches. This is what sexual tension is all about: she’s starting to get that horny, tingling feeling and she wants you to touch and caress her more, but you’re only giving it to her in small doses.

When you do this correctly with a woman, the anticipation of your next touch can drive her wild. She might start grabbing you! (This is when you gently ease her away and play “hard to get.”)

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: body language, confidence, seduction, stripper

3 Little Gestures That Will Seduce ANY Stripper!

By deancortez

A stripper will require a lot of comfort. Displaying chivalrous behavior is a quality most customers don’t possess. This isn’t hard. It basically means treating her like a lady. The fact that they’re dancers causes most guys to treat these girls as sex objects, to be ogled and groped.

Strippers are so used to this behavior in the club that they play it off and laugh (unless the guy is being too aggressive). It’s part of the job. But that doesn’t mean they like it.

A stripper will encounter a lot of aggressive, obnoxious customers who love the “power shift” that takes place inside a strip club. But when you present yourself as a laid-back gentleman, you’ll make her feel comfortable and safe with you, and her attraction has a chance to grow.

One act of chivalry is all it takes: a small gesture that shows you respect her as lady and are a protector (rather than a customer, who only cares about his own needs being met). Here are some quick examples of the right actions and body language.

1. Offer Her A Seat

When she sits down next to you, say, “Your feet must be sore from walking around in those heels. Here, give them a rest.” Then, pull up a chair and have her place her feet on them. Or, call to your waitress and have her bring over another chair for your dancer to rest her feet on. This will set precedence for a small date together.

2. Wrap A Napkin Around Her Drink

When the waitress brings your drinks, make a special effort to make sure there is a napkin wrapped around her glass before the drink is handed to her. If there is already a napkin around it when the waitress brings it, adjust the napkin and make it perfect.

If there is no napkin, wrap one around her glass and then hand her the drink. It’s a simple, classy touch that will go a long way when you start flirting.

3. Move Her Seat

If the strip club is crowded, move her seat so that other people aren’t going to bump into her chair. Bring it in closer to you and angle it away from the traffic. Tell her you want to make sure she’s comfortable and that no one brushes up against her.

There are lots of other “acts of chivalry” that you can come up with. Look out for opportunities to do one or two nice little things that she doesn’t expect. (Don’t go overboard, or you’ll appear to be kissing her ass; one or two is enough.)

By taking a moment to make sure she feels comfortable and respected, you’re separating yourself in a big way from the average customer.

Your goal is to always place women in a comfort zone. This is where physical attraction has a chance to develop. This means your body language must always convey a level of cool. No nervous fidgeting. Maintain eye contact. Don’t keep your knees together and your hands in your lap; spread your body out across your seat. Take up space.

These are signs of a man who is confident and relaxed. Nervous guys make women nervous.

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: Dating Tips, flirting, seduction, stripper

Building A Bond With A Stripper For REAL Attraction

By deancortez

A stripper gets weirded out by customers all the time. Making a dancer feel comfortable with you is essential. Creating real attraction with her will keep her comfortable as you lay the rest of the groundwork. Here are some easy tactics to create true comfort and rapport with a stripper.

Understand Her Work

Express your understanding of her line of work, and point out how you’re actually impressed by dancers for reasons other than their hot bodies. (Remember, it’s “dancing,” not “stripping.”)

Give her a little ego boost by complimenting her on the “skills” she has developed at her job. For example, commend her on her ability to read people. Remember to do this with confidence.

YOU: “I’ve noticed that dancers have an amazing ability to read people—they always seem to know exactly what type of guy they’re talking to, and what he’s looking for. I’d love to have that talent, it would come in handy at my job.”

By saying this, you’re letting her know that you don’t hold her profession against her. You actually respect what she does, and you understand there’s a lot more to her job than just looking good in a bikini.

Making a statement like this is another way to break down the barrier that exists between you (the customer) and her (the stripper). When this barrier has been removed, the two of you will be able to communicate on a more real, honest level. Remember to use eye contact when you are communicating with her.

Use Your Occupation

If your occupation or your career goals happen to be one of your attractive qualities, this statement is a “link” that will steer the conversation onto this topic. Saying “it would really help me at my job” is probably going to prompt her to ask you what you do for a living.

You can then mention your job to her. Just keep it brief. No matter how lofty your title is, or how much money you make, you don’t want to sound like you’re bragging or EVER trying to impress her. If you’re lucky, she will put you in the friend zone.

WACK TACTIC: “I’m a senior vice president with the Highland Real Estate Corporation. My specialty is doing home loans. Here, let me give you my card…”

MACK TACTIC: “I work in real estate. It’s a great match for my talents and I love what I’m doing right now. So let me guess, Melissa—the money’s pretty good at this place for right now, but you’ve got your eye on doing way cooler in the future. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Bear in mind, dancers are constantly meeting chumps who try to impress them with how much money they’ve got, the car they drive, the house they just bought, etc. It’s hardly an original quality for a guy to possess in a strip club. But if you have an occupation that you love, or a goal that you are passionate about, mention it. That’s huge.

Communicate Passions And Ambition

It is far more important to communicate your passion and ambition than it is to talk about your job title, salary, material possessions, etc. It doesn’t matter if you’re a temp right now, an intern, or even unemployed—as long as you’ve got ambitions and passions that you can communicate with the right body language.

WACK TACTIC: “I’m between jobs right now. The job market sucks, no one’s hiring.”

MACK TACTIC: “Right now I’m considering some different opportunities. It’s important for me that I’m passionate about anything that I get involved with. Life’s too short to be doing something you’re not passionate about, don’t you think?”

Again, always keep phrasing in mind. It’s all about how you phrase this information. Even if you’re a millionaire CEO, you’ve got to maintain an element of mystery and communicate that passion without buying a lap dance.

One stripper told me the most repulsive line she’d ever heard from a “bigshot.” He whispered in her ear, “If I told you who I really am, you’d cum right now. Let’s just say, if you treat me right, I could change your life.”

The only way this douche bag “changed her life” was by buying enough dances that night to cover her rent and car payment. After she was done dancing, she told him a fake phone number and went on to the next customer.

Generate Real Attraction

Half of the guys that come into her club like to run their mouths about how much money they’ve got, and by now she is well aware that 90% of the time the guy is full of crap while using bad seduction techniques.

So you see, even if you are wealthy and successful, it’s not going to generate any real attraction from her. Passion and ambition are the qualities that matter—and if you truly do possess those qualities, women will gravitate towards you. Passionate, ambitious men always wind up succeeding.

So when she asks you about “what you do,” you’re going to give her a response that doesn’t include details, but conveys your passion. Common flirting techniques don’t work. Toss the ball back into her court. You want to give her a chance to talk about her own passions, and you want her to know that you respect her as an intelligent, sophisticated woman.

You’re not a “customer” in her eyes and you want her to know that in your eyes, she’s not just a brainless slut in a G-string.

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: Dating Tips, flirting, seduction, strip club, stripper

How To Touch A Girl The RIGHT Way

By loveandsex

Seduction is essential to any situation that could lead to sex. Touching her the right way is going to put you in the driver’s seat. The important thing to remember here is EXECUTION. Do it inappropriately, you lose. Do it right, and you’ll earn the chance to take it to another level. Touch will either relax her or tense her up, depending on how artfully it’s done and how she interprets it.

Utilize Natural Situations

Initiating touch with long-time partners is easy because you’ve been been with them for long. You can be as forward as cupping the breasts while watching the evening news and she’ll probably not bludgeon you. It’s a lot different with new partners – the best move is to look for situations that naturally promote initial touches.

Context and timing are important. It’s more natural for example, to be bumping bodies in a packed club than in a quiet and empty museum.

Acclimatize Her

So your hands straight to the chest is not usually a sane first move. Always start with the safer parts of her anatomy. Smooth guys work best by smoothly transitioning from low impact to high impact areas without the girl being fully conscious or defensive about it.

Start with her fingers, hands, elbows and shoulders. Rushing to erotic regions on a first date is stupid, go too fast and she’ll slam the brakes on you. High impact zones (eg. breasts & inner thighs) will get her worked up, but they work only after a certain level of comfort is achieved.

Dealing with them too early in the game will only reap the negative. So acclimatize low impact zones first before planning an assault on areas where the sun don’t shine.

Your timeline will vary from woman to woman, so calibrate from her reactions and the situation. In time you will know how your wife, girlfriend or date simmers best.

Learn HOW To Touch Them

How you touch them is of prime importance. You want to send the message that you’re a sensual guy comfortable in his own skin. Never stroke a woman and display the, “I’M REALLY NOT SURE ABOUT THIS” look. It will make her uneasy and uncertain about you, she’ll get weirded out.

When touching seems like a big deal for you, it also becomes a big deal for her, because just as you’re calibrating from her reactions, she is also calibrating from your leading! This is Psychology 101.

If you’re already straining to touch her even at low impact areas, how can you seriously be thinking about having sex? If you can’t even confidently land your hands on top of her shoulders, how can you get your body on top of her?

She may like you a lot, but as a lady, she is very unlikely to initiate touching. Even in this age, lots of women would still rather wait. So get over it, break the touch barrier yourself.

She Wants You To Touch Her

Her skin, the largest organ in her body, responds to tactile stimulation – every last centimeter of it. Soulful touching embraces her as a whole, not just a few special areas. Over-attentiveness to special zones only makes the rest of her fade to the background.

Instead, search and stimulate every nerve, every corner, discover uncharted paths and awaken every inch of her being. Being thorough is the name of the game.

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: confidence, Dating Tips, flirting, seduction

6 Key Elements For Stripper Seduction Success

By deancortez

A stripper is constantly bombarded with customers. The waitresses in the club are keeping an eye on customers who are sitting with dancers because they want to make sure you always have a fresh drink. In order to continue the conversation, at some point you’re going to need to buy your girl a drink.

I don’t believe that you should try to avoid buying dances and drinks, because you don’t want to give girls  the impression that you’re trying to avoid spending any money at all. I say, skip the lap dances (since this frames you as a “customer”) but do buy her a drink—or several. But here’s the key thing to remember. When you offer to buy her a drink, it’s all about how you phrase it. By phrasing it the right way, you’re communicating SIX important elements.

1. Make Her Earn The Drink

She is earning this drink because I find her interesting and want to know more about her. This is not an offer I would make to most of the dancers here. This is a special circumstance. I’m not a dude who buys drinks for any chick who sits down next to me; this girl has sparked my curiosity. I’m also using the right body language so she knows I’m not like the rest of the customers in the club.

2. Impress Her With Thoughtfulness

In this case, I told her she had a  “deep personality.” Is this really true? Maybe. We’ll see. But every woman likes to think they have a deep personality, and so my comment makes me seem perceptive. It also makes her curious to talk to me further and see what I else I might “know” about her. I’m also making these statements with full confidence so she doesn’t think that I’m faking it.

3. Turn The Tables On Her

By saying “there are some things I want to ask you,” I’m turning the tables. She is the one who is going to have to answer my questions and demonstrate whether or not she is worthy of more of my time and interest. This is a very powerful psychological tactic that you can use when trying to meet women.

Think about most initial conversations between men and women. It’s the guy who feels like he’s “auditioning” and needs to provide all the right answers. The Mack flips it around and makes her feel the need to impress him, and demonstrate that she is on his level.

4. Use A Persuasion Tactic

“There are some things I want to ask you.” I’m giving her a reason why our conversation needs to continue: there are things I need to know before I ask a girl out. (This is also going to spark her curiosity; what exactly do I want to know? I’ll wait for the drinks to come before I tell her.)

By the way, studies conducted by seduction experts have shown that the word “because” is one of the most powerful words in the English language. It is a psychological motivator.

Ask a person to do something, and they might question it, or wonder why it’s necessary. Tell them they need to because there is a reason, and they’ll instinctively want to follow your lead. This is a great tactic to use in a strip club.

5. Buy Time

Buying this drink will buy you time to continue building a connection with her, instead of playing her game and blowing money on lap dances. And, she won’t feel as though you are wasting her time. In fact, she will usually look at this time as a break from the hustle.

You’re going to use this time to make her feel physical attraction towards you, get her to view you as a romantic option instead of a customer, and either make plans to meet her after her shift or get her phone number to set up a future date (which I will explain how to do a bit later).

6. Be Friendly With The Waitress

When your waitress comes over to take your drink order, this is when the “alliance” you’ve created with her is going to pay off. The friendlier your waitress acts towards you, the more comfortable the dancer is going to feel with you.

If the waitress treats you like just another anonymous customer, the dancer will view you as one. But if she gives you a smile and says your name, and you have another short, friendly chat with her, then your  dancer will recognize that you’ve got value in this place.

This happens because of the groundwork you laid earlier; you tipped your waitress the correct way, spent a couple of minutes to build a connection with her, and won her over. She’s on “your team.” This reinforces in the dancer’s mind that you’re a cool, charismatic guy: you know people here, and people know and respect you.

You want her to view you as a person—and as a possible sexual partner—instead of another lonely “chump customer” looking to shell out money for companionship.

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: confidence, Dating Tips, flirting, meet women, seduction, stripper

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