Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi shocked feminists everywhere we he said that women seeking a life partner should “follow the money” and marry wealthy. Of course, we all know we shouldn’t be taking relationship advice from 73-year-old Berlusconi: he was recently embroiled in a sex scandal based on reported encounters with younger women, including prostitutes. Although he denies the prostitution charge, he admits he’s “no saint” and he and his wife have since separated. Throughout the years, he’s told the media young women should look for wealthy, older boyfriends so when he dies they can inherit his wealth.

Marrying Wealthy vs. Becoming Wealthy

There’s much to be said about what’s wrong with this viewpoint, but in a country where we do value money and power very highly, the attraction to wealth can lie not far below the surface even if we’re not as vocal about it as Berlusconi. That said, it may be interesting to note that as women are making more, the so-called “need” for this type of perception is shifting to one where men may start to feel outpaced.

The majority of layoffs during this recession have hit men. Womens’ status as breadwinner continues to become more and more prevalent, according to a New York Times study. Last year – as companies from Citibank to GM announced massive layoffs – 82 percent of the people laid off were men. It won’t be long before women become the majority of the American workforce. Not to mention, women now control roughly 60% of wealth in the country due in part to the fact that they often outlive men and thus inherit family wealth.

So the question is no longer “How can women get wealthy?” – since they’re already doing so, and often without the help of a man – but “What can women do with their wealth?” According to a study by The Hartford Financial Services Group, women’s worries focus on three major areas: inflation, health and longevity.

Why Financial Planning Is Essential

According to the specifics of the study, which examined the projected retirement levels of nearly 2 million employees at 72 large U.S. companies, “both men and women are on track to replace 85 percent of pay at retirement, assuming average life expectancy. However, women, on average, need to replace nearly 130 percent of their final pay at retirement because they often take time off to raise kids. That’s seven percentage points more than men. When factoring in differences in longevity, that disparity jumps to 10 percentage points.”

So while women are making great strides in terms of earning power – and breaking assumptions like those made by Berlusconi that they need a man’s help to develop wealth – it’s important not to lose sight of the importance of planning. Nowadays (most) women’s retirement plan is not to get married to a wealthy man, but to create wealth of their own.

It’s not at all uncommon for older men and men who have been in monogamous relationships for quite some time to develop a low sex drive. While sometimes this isn’t something that affects them adversley (after all, it’s not like they’re missing someting they don’t want), it can cause a strain on the relationship when both partners aren’t sexually satisfied. Every woman has a right to and deserves a sex life that is satisfying for them, so here’s how you can talk to your partner about your concerns about his decreased sex drive.

My husband says he has no sex drive anymore and tells me it?s no big deal. But I like it and want it from him, what do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

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Talk To Your Partner About Your Feelings

The first thing you need to do is express your feelings to your partner. You may have already hinted around about it, but if you haven’t confronted him one on one with the issues you’re having, there is a big possibility that he has no idea that his lack of sex drive is bothering you. However, how you approach the situation with your partner will determine whether it will end in a fight or if you will actually get to make progress towards solving the problem. The most important thing not to do when having this conversation with your husband is to be critical or suggest that it is his fault in any way. Often, when men get older, their sex drive naturally diminishes, just when a woman’s sex drive is on the rise. Cruel joke from Mother Nature? Perhaps. But it most certainly isn’t his fault. Instead of telling him what is wrong with him or suggesting that it is his “problem,” let him know that your sex drive is higher and you’re craving more sex. Let him know that you want to have sex with him and that he turns you on. Ask him about the possibility of getting help so you guys are more in sync in the sex department.

Make A Visit To The Doctor

Lots of things can contribute to a man’s decreased sex drive, including a whole host of medical issues along with age. Is he taking some medications that might be responsible? Is his diet full of processed or frozen foods and foods with no nutritional value? Is it simply an age thing, or is there a deeper lying problem? Your husband’s medical doctor can rule out any physical reason for his lack of sex drive and may even be able to take him off some medications that might be affecting his libido or even simply change the doseages. Never allow your husband to quit taking his medication or reduce the amount of medications that he is taking without his doctor’s consent. If your husband smokes or drinks, work with him to quit. Start keeping foods rich in vitamins in the house, such as fresh fruits and vegetables like bananas or fresh spinach for salads. Your husband’s doctor may even be able to prescribe a medication that can help increase his desire for sex, provided there is nothing else causing the issue.

You Have A Right To A Good Sex Life

Every person – man or woman – deserves to be satisfied with their sex lives. Human beings are sexual and they were designed to be, so there is nothing wrong with you for having strong sexual desires. It is not at all out of the ordinary for married couples to have issues with their sex lives, but this doesn’t mean that you have to assume it happens to everybody and there’s nothing you can do about it. There are many things you can do about an unsatisfying sex life, and talking to your partner and going to the doctor with him are just the first steps. You can also try doing things that you know turns him on, such as wearing lingerie or a certain outfit or acting out one of his deepest, darkest sex fantasies. Failing that, you can consider an open marriage with your partner or you can get a few sex toys to keep in the drawer by your bed when you’re turned on. While masturbating by yourself may seem like you’re going behind your partner’s back, it doesn’t have to be like that at all. Instead, don’t be shy about letting him know what you’re doing. Chances are, he’ll want to join in when he sees how sexy you look pleasuring yourself and just how much fun you’re having.