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You are here: Home / Archives for Love & Relationships / Love & Romance

Falling In Love – How You Know She’s The One

By leejenkins

Falling in love is something that should come normally, but for some people it isn’t this simple. Loving someone requires a lot of perseverance and it’s not something you can do on a normal basis with just anyone. So how do you find the girl that’s best for you? First, you expose yourself to women by dating, attending parties and letting your friends introduce you to girls.

You don’t have to play the field, but you can be sociable enough so that you aren’t alone most of the time. Most guys buckle from pressure of being in a committed relationship, but only because they have not found the girl they will give up their independence for.

You Feel the Chemistry

Whether you’re just locking eyes or you’re exchanging a kiss, the atmosphere around you is explosive. Some men claim that they know they’ve found the woman they want to spend the rest of their life with after the first date, while some claim it took a while before they felt the magic. Regardless of how long you’ve known the girl, there will always be sparks when you exchange a kiss, a hug or you’re just talking on the phone. That’s called chemistry, or sexual tension, and that’s one indication that she’s the one.

She Likes The Whole Package

Have you ever felt the pressure to be someone you’re not when you’re out with a girl? Sometimes, it’s hardly your fault. You subconsciously know that the woman expects you to act like someone else, or her version of a Prince Charming. If this is the case with a girl, the relationship won’t progress. In fact, it might end abruptly when you can’t take the pressure anymore and act like your true self.

A girl who’s the right one for you can tolerate your brand of humor. She likes you even if you’re not trying your best to impress her.

She’s Looking At The Big Picture

One of the main indications that you’ve found a keeper is when she talks about the future with you comfortably and naturally. In the beginning of any relationship, it may seem like you mean the whole world to each other. You want so many things at once, that you feel like you’re rushing.

A girl who really loves you will look at the big picture and understand that you have your whole life together ahead of you. She won’t rush and push you into making haphazard decisions. She understands that you’re going through life at your own pace, and she’s ok with that.

It may seem difficult to find the “One” who can make you happy, but if you keep your hopes up and treat each date as special, you’re bound to find the girl of your dreams sooner than you think. Love is the sum total of different factors: her actions towards you and your reaction to her affection.

Filed Under: Love & Romance Tagged With: love, Relationship Advice

May-To-December Romances: Can They Last Over Time?

By loveandsex

Lolita. Harold and Maude. American Pie. Marked age differences in a romance are nothing new to the world of literature and film. However, are they really conducive to modern-day relationships? Can two people of differing generations find a connection that transcends the decades?

Younger Man + Older Woman Or Older Man + Younger Woman?

The first aspect to consider is the genders as they relate to the ages. Would an older man/younger woman combination be more likely to succeed than an older woman/younger man relationship? Not necessarily, but it is more acceptable by society’s standards. Nowadays, a young woman on the arm of her older partner would not cause one to even bat an eyelash. The stigma of an older woman courting a young man is slowly dissipating, but the situation is still likely to draw jokes about her being a “cougar.” Because of that stigma, it is often harder to be taken seriously as a legitimate couple.

Spring-Time Perks

One of the best ways to succeed in a May-to-December romance is to find a way of bridging the gap. For instance, if you are a young woman (or man) with no interest in the wild dating scene, you may be looking for someone to settle down with right away. Meanwhile, an older man (or woman) has focused on his/her career for most of their adult life, and now they are ready to start a family. These people are able to meet halfway to fulfill their common goals or desires.

Cold Weather Drawbacks

The relationships that seem doomed to fail are the ones in which the couple does not have a connection deeper than appearances, money, or other superficial perks. For example, an older man may proudly find himself the target of his friends’ jealousy when he starts dating a hot 18-year-old. However, the disappointments quickly pile up when he realizes what may accompany this particular age: no previous adult relationships, insecurity, partying lifestyle, and little “real world” experience. Also, you may enjoy the vigor of your younger lover. Yet, what happens if you are ready to have a baby or to move to the countryside, but your energetic partner isn’t ready to settle down?

And Over Time?

Moreover, generations have widely varying ideals, values, and goals from the next. One woman, whose parents are 20 years apart in age, shared her experiences. While the age difference didn’t matter when they were in their 30s and 50s, respectively, it certainly made an impact when they hit their 60s and 80s. When she was younger, the mother hadn’t minded her husband’s old-fashioned views about “a woman’s duties,” such as rearing the kids, cooking, and cleaning. Yet as an aging woman, she no longer had the energy to do all the housework. Also, as he grew older, he became less interested in such activities as traveling—even though she was still into traveling the world.

“While a big age difference is irrelevant for a time,” she concluded, “it’s almost guaranteed to cause problems if you’re still together when the older person is actually old. They have a good relationship despite their differences, though. They knew what they were getting into and decided they loved each other enough that they’d deal with it.”

Filed Under: Love & Romance Tagged With: dating, Relationship Advice, romance

Q&A: How To Say I Love You

By loveandsex

Telling someone you love them for the first time – especially if they haven’t already said it – can be nerve wracking. In new relationships, it can be difficult to tell if you’re really in love with this person or if you just think you are because you’re infatuated with them. How can you say I love you?

Question: I have a very simple question and I wasn’t sure if you had already made a video about it. How do you tell someone you love them if you’ve never said it seriously before? I’m in my first relationship (I’m 19) and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four months and I have never felt this way before. I do think I love him but I don’t know how to tell him. Do I love him or do I just think I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojS3gl19Wo0[/youtube]

Sharing Your Feelings

If you have special feelings for your partner – whether it’s love or something else – it can be a relief to share your feelings with your partner out loud. It’s also nice to know that someone else has special feelings for you, even if you haven’t spoken about your feelings first. It can be scary to put your feelings out in the open like that though, without assurance that your partner feels the same way. But take the chance. You’re only letting your partner know how you feel. Don’t make a big production out of it. It’s as simple as that.

Does He Have To Say It Back?

Part of the awkwardness of saying I love you to someone is when they feel the pressure to say it back when they haven’t even explored their feelings about you yet. Let them know that just because you’ve shared your feelings with them, it doesn’t mean they have to say “I love you” back or share their feelings at all. Let them know you’re just putting it out there in the open. Most guys hear a woman say “I love you” and think that now they have to be in a committed relationship and they’re chained down. Let him know that’s not the case. You’re not definining the relationship or discussing “where you stand.” You’re just letting him know you have special feelings for him.

Show Him You Love Him

One of the best ways to let your partner know that you love them is to show them in addition to telling them. Or you can show them instead of telling them, if you’re really nervous that telling him that you love him out loud will make things too awkward. But remember that actions do speak louder than words in most cases, so you can really make a statement if you just do little things that let him know you care. Pick up his favorite snack at the store next time you’re shopping or remember what he says about something he’s very passionate about, even if it completely disinterests you. Make an effort to let him know you’re really into him with your actions and he’ll definitely get it.

Filed Under: Love & Romance Tagged With: dating, dating advice, sex advice

Q&A: I’ve Confessed My Love – Now What?

By loveandsex

You’ve confessed your love to a girl, and now she’s run for the hills. What do you do? Did you come on too strongly, or is she giving you mixed signals? Dating comes with lots of questions and very few answers, but here’s what you can do when a girl you like starts giving you the slip.

Question: A few weeks ago, me and a good friend of mine setup to have a date. I have some affection towards her and I thought she felt the same way. Two days before our date, I confessed my love to her. On the day of the date, I called her up to see if she still wants to go; she didn’t pick up. Then the next day I called her to see if she still wants to go out today and she said “I don’t think that is a good idea.” So I get the idea and drop it. We still talk once in a while now, but not as much and intimate as before. But then last week, I asked her out to dinner and she came. I’m confused, what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZNGr5tfQms[/youtube]

Labeling The Relationship

Often, people who are dating are too quick to put a label on the “relationship” they have, and want to know where they stand when it comes to being with someone. This goes for both guys and girls though – it’s a common belief that women do this more than men, but it’s actually about equal between the sexes. Unfortunately, when one person in the relationship is pressing to define it, the other person gets scared and starts moving away emotionally. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to spend time with you or don’t like you, but it may mean that they just want to go slowly and let the relationship go where it needs to on its own.

Backtracking

If you’ve confessed your love to someone and they start giving you the slip, you may think you’ll never repair the damage that was done. That could be true, but not always. The thing to do now is to back off and let them take the lead. Don’t start calling all the time or continue to try to get them to go out with you. They may like you, but they may just need some time to air out. Take a few steps back and let them call you. Be polite and friendly when you see them, but let them make the moves. If you do want to ask them out, suggest going to a casual lunch or bowling. Whatever you do, make sure they don’t feel pressured in any way and they just might come around.

Letting A Relationship Develop On Its Own

When you start dating, it can be tempting to move along quite quickly, especially if you feel like you’re ready to settle down. Instead, try letting the relationship develop on its own. Don’t ask your partner where you stand or try to define the relationship, because often, it’s always changing. Just focus on enjoying being with the person you’re with and let the relationship move along at its own pace. Getting to stop and enjoy all stages of a budding relationship is like stopping and smelling the flowers – totally worth it.

Filed Under: Love & Romance Tagged With: ask a girl out, dating, dating advice, friend zone, sex advice

Have A Snowed In Affair With Your Own Partner

By drbonnieeakerweil

Many of us – myself included! – have been snowed in the past couple days, thanks to extreme weather hitting many parts of the US. While not being able to get to your scheduled appointments – like work, school, meetings, etc – can be stressful, why not put the time to good use and use the mandatory down-time to rekindle a spark with your significant other?! Just because it’s cold outside doesn’t mean you can’t heat it up indoors! Here are a few of the things I recommend to have a snowed-in affair, take advantage of the blizzard and get back to basics!

Hot Ideas For When It’s Cold Outside

  • Mix up a hot drink and then cozy up with each other. Whether it’s hot chocolate or hot toddy, getting warm together doesn’t HAVE to involve sex! Start out with something simple like a drink to warm you up and snuggle up together by reading a book, playing a game, or beginning a project you’ve been putting off.
  • Let it lead to sex. Studies show that during big storms people usually make love, make babies or fight. Starting by reconnecting with something simple (a book, a game, etc.), as I mentioned above, can lead to a more intimate conclusion. Take advantage of the fact that you don’t have anywhere to be! If you’re like most of us, this will likely be one of the few times when Mother Nature forces you to slow down and simplify! Make the most of your time indoors, since there’s nowhere else you could be, even if you wanted to. Instead of letting your obligations stress you out, let go of your responsibilities by having an affair with your own partner. I mention this technique in my book, Make up Don’t Break up, where I give couples tools for rekindling romance.
  • Get outside. That’s right – it’s cold and snowy and you don’t have to go anywhere so why not relive the excitement that snowdays gave you as a kid?! These types of opportunities often bring out our inner child, so go with it, get playful and see where it leads. You may learn something new about your partner, discover something new you can do together (who doesn’t love making snowmen?), and if nothing else, have a good time goofing around together.
  • Recreate the chemicals you experienced when you first fell in love. Take this opportunity to give a 30 second kiss and/or 20 second hug so you can fall back in love with your partner for Valentines Day during this snow-in.

I talk more about ways to fall in love and stay in love – no matter what the weather – in my book, Make Up Don’t Break Up!

Filed Under: Love & Romance Tagged With: love, romance, romantic ideas

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