Love & Relationships

3 Ways To Be An Unforgettable Boyfriend And Make Her Forget About Her Ex

There are women who got burned so badly by their previous relationships that they don’t want to venture out into the ‘unknown’ anymore. These women are jaded, cynical about love, and think sex is overrated. When a guy finds a hot girl, who just happened to be afflicted by the “man hate” syndrome, what does he do? A guy can either look the other way or pursue her despite the slim chance of breaking through the thick barrier of barb that she put up. Some women are really impossible to ignore, they are mesmerizing, even if they give out a haunted (and hunted) vibe, like they are always on the lookout for men who are just waiting to prey on their vulnerability and use them for selfish carnal pleasures.

What To Do When She’s Been Burned

The primary thing to consider is that no matter how badly you want to know, the story behind her heartbreak should be left alone. However, building her life back and possibly sharing a future with you are definitely things that concern you. Tread carefully. Be as unobtrusive as possible, but always be within her reach just in case she feels like talking. It is possible to keep a person company from afar, particularly if you have already told her that you’re just there if she needs you.

When you finally get her to open up, this is your chance to show her that you are way better than her ex.

Of course, you cannot promise a bed of roses, but there are certainly some things that you can do to prove to her that you, as a man, operate on a higher level than the guy who broke her heart.

1. Love Her Back

This seems like a daunting feat for those who don’t know how. Return her calls, be emotionally available, and tell her that while you may be busy most of the time, she is always in your thoughts. Basically, not taking a woman for granted is the best way to win her over. Ask her opinion about where to go and what to do during your date. Staying open and extremely considerate is very important, particularly during the time when she’s still learning to trust you.

2. Be a Gentleman

You know those simple things like opening the door for her or pulling the chair? Those gestures are not lost on her. Of course, you have to be consistent and make these gallant gestures a habit. Doing these only during your initial dates will make her think that the gestures are a put on.

3. Make Her Orgasm During Sex

No amount of gallantry, gift-giving and mushy loving could make her consider you as a constant in her life if she discovers that you are not sexually compatible. The ability to give her the time of her life in bed will catapult you from “boyfriend material” to “The One”. If she has told you that she thinks “sex is overrated” more than a couple of times, there’s a big chance that she has never experienced an orgasm in the past.

Even if she did experience sensational sex with her ex, your knowledge of how to make her orgasm will stack nicely with the fact that you are the most gallant, most considerate guy she has ever met; and this will erase all notions of her past loves.

The Truth About What Makes Men So Alluring

By sarahelizabethmalinak

Peter Roth, President of Warner Brothers Television, who is proud of their hit and hot television series “The Mentalist” had this to say about the lead character played by the handsome Aussie actor, Simon Baker, “I think there is perhaps nothing more attractive to women than a man who is able to listen and to quietly deduce the truth,” Roth says. He is absolutely right. Whenever my husband listens to me and, in our dialogue, reveals that he heard and saw me more clearly than I did, I fall more deeply in love with him. Frankly, it is a huge turn on!

What Is It About Them?

Gerard Butler has this talent on the big screen. What is most alluring about Gerard is his ability to look his leading lady in the eyes, stare deeply into her eyes, listen, and come away from the moment knowing, understanding, and loving her better. Whether it is as King Leonidas in the testosterone filled “300” or as Gerry in the ladies’ choice “PS I Love You,” he does this amazing listening thing with every leading lady. She gets his full attention with lots of direct eye contact! While it sets up incredible expectations for men in relationships, he is the perfect “chick flick” actor because of this quality! Of course, on television and in the movies, stories that take place over a period of days, months, even years are condensed to fill one or two hours. Being that attentive in real life for one or two hours is asking a lot! One of the reasons for the therapist’s 50-minute hour is because even professionally trained listeners can only attentively listen for just so long! The idea that a woman could expect a man to be perfectly attentive at a moment’s notice, a good listener any time of day or night, and always appreciating her is pure fantasy. However, taking some time to experiment with your listening skills and how you report back what you have heard could prove to have a nice pay off.

Being Seen And Heard

Everyone loves to feel seen and heard. It makes us feel valued and loved. As such, Gerard and Simon can teach women the same thing about love. Listening deeply to your man can be a big turn on. However, I believe there is one significant difference between best listening skills for men and women. While a woman loves it when her man deeply listens to her, discovering truths about her, and gently reporting those, it may be true that men prefer deep listening without a lot of feedback. Deep listening requires two senses, hearing and sight. As you listen to the words that are said, you also pay attention to the body language on display. Chances are we can all think of conversations that turned into heated arguments when his or her words gave permission to speak while body language clearly said leave it alone.

Really Listening

Men take more time getting around to discussing aspects of their lives and personalities that allow you to know them more deeply because such discussion makes them feel vulnerable. And when they feel vulnerable, they believe they are no longer in a position to protect you. Oftentimes, perhaps every time, a man discloses to you parts of his life or personality that make him feel vulnerable, he will feel most heard by your attentive listening that doesn’t ask too many questions and that, most especially, doesn’t analyze what he shared. While those kinds of verbal responses might make a woman feel seen and heard, respectfully listening without pushing him deeper will make him feel seen and heard. For both men and women, when you are invited to listen, be careful to allow his or her thoughts to come to a close before changing the subject or leaving the room. Leaving the conversation too swiftly or changing it to be about you too soon, makes a person feel dismissed and is a big turn off. Again, here body language gives a lot of clues. My husband, Joseph, has shared things with me that I did not realize were tender for him to share. Because I did not pay attention to his body language (some tenseness, lack of lingering direct eye contact, hesitation while sharing), I did not perceive what a vulnerable place he was in. So, I got busy analyzing and comparing what he shared to something similar in my life, just rambling on because I hadn’t really listened! When that happens, it is so embarrassing to realize how inattentive and self-centered I can be! On the other hand, when either of us listens attentively, reads the other’s body language, and responds with respect and tenderness, the love and passion grow. Listening deeply is a lot like smiling. It takes more effort to smile than to frown, but life (and love) is better when the effort is made!

What To Do When Your Partner Lies About Money

By drbonnieeakerweil

Money is a difficult topic to talk about – no matter how close you are with the other person, how long you’ve known them and how much you trust them.

This is evidenced by the fact that money troubles is one of the top causes of divorce. Any one of a number of money-related topics can be difficult to deal with, but confronting your significant other if you suspect them of lying about money is one of the harder discussions to have.

If one person in a relationship is going behind the other’s back when it comes to finances, there could be a number of things he or she is doing with the money – they could be spending it on themselves, they could be keeping some out of their paycheck for themselves (if this wasn’t already agreed upon), they could have been dishonest about the cost of a purchase – and the list goes on and on.

Is Your Partner Lying About Spending Money?

What’s perhaps more important than where and how this money is being spent, is WHY this money is being spent. When you confront your partner about their behavior, don’t judge or get angry. The person doing the spending could be afraid of the reaction they’ll get if they were to tell the truth, and by introducing anger into the discussion, you’re doing just the thing they’re fearful of.

Instead, provide what I call a “soft landing” using my Money Love Language, which I talk about in “Financial Infidelity.” Create and environment of empathy, clarity and validation – not shame.

There are a couple of exercises put forth in my book that are beneficial in this instance. Utilizing the Money Gram helps you how your money history – it uncovers why you spend by looking at the patterns from your family and your past.

Was money dealt with in a secretive way? Have you been treated like a child in the past in regards to money? The second exercise is Mirror, Mirror which shows where the person spends, why they’re inclined to spend, and calls for transparency.

What Can You Do?

If you’re in a relationship with someone who is prone to hide purchases or lie about finances, it’s important to reward them when they’re NOT spending instead of getting mad when they ARE. This helps encourage honesty and builds an environment of safety that the spender will feel safe in.

Great Relationships Can Get You Lost In Time

By david

Have you ever met someone whom, when you’re with them, time just seems to disappear? You are talking to them for what feels like five minutes and all of a sudden you realize it’s actually been five hours. Do you ever get lost in somebody so much that you feed off of each other’s energy? Then as you’re feeding off each other’s energy, you just want to learn more and more about that person.

Really Getting To Know Someone

You not only want to know what they’re all about, you want to know everything about them. You want to know what they were like as a kid, what they’re afraid of, what they feel, what their favorite things are, their favorite foods, their favorite bands and their favorite vacation spots. Every time you learn something about them, you want to learn more. You want to know what they like to do, because the more you talk to them the more you get lost in this incredible world you’re in when you’re talking to them. Have you every met somebody with whom you can sit across a table at a restaurant for three hours without even one moment of silence? I’m not really even talking, though, about moments of silence. I’m talking about how you feed off each other’s energy. It’s the way you laugh, the way you smile and the way you talk. It’s how every time one of you tells a story that the other will have a story having to do with the same subject, and you find you connect in so many different ways. Every time you get to learn more about them, their energy keeps going into you. You feel more of their energy, get to know more of their energy and you crave more of their energy. You start to crave that connection you have with them.

Getting Lost In Time

You just get lost in time, and time doesn’t matter. You could be absolutely exhausted at the end of a long day when you speak with them, then all of a sudden a five minute conversation turns into a three hour conversation because you feed off of each other’s energy. It’s like a high. You get this incredible feeling when you talk to that person. You get lost in time. Really, what is “lost in time?” Lost in time is just amazing chemistry with somebody. The reason we all spend so much time hoping and desiring to find someone is so we can have the feeling of being “lost in time.” There’s nothing better than feeling lost in time with somebody, because time doesn’t really matter. If you think about it, there’s no such thing as time. What matters is the feelings and emotions you experience in every given situation. So the next time you meet somebody and you get lost in a little world with them, enjoy it! That is what magic is all about . . . connecting with another person, feeding off of everything they say and wanting to learn every little thing about them. This is what you experience when you get lost in time with someone.

Is Something Magical Happening?

You know what else is magical about getting lost in time? It’s the moment you realize something magical is happening. You know it. You can feel it. Your gut and your intuition tell you. Then you savor every moment. It’s like every phone conversation is just amazing. Every time you hang out, it’s amazing. The feeling of getting to know somebody with whom you truly connect and share intense chemistry is incredible. I know personally that I savor every moment, because when you meet somebody with whom you get lost in time when you hang with them then you know something special and magical is happening. You need to really just embrace it and realize these “lost in time” moments are something that will put a smile on your face for a long time. My brother and his wife are a great example of this. If you would ask my brother what the most magical feeling was when he met his wife, he would say it was the first year they spent together because that’s when they built the foundation for a lifetime of love. He remembers every conversation, the first cuddle and every kiss, because being able to experience magic with somebody is a gift. That magic is something that all of us are craving, and that we all desire. The problem some of us have is that we are scared to death of it. We’re scared to death of letting go, so we can actually have this. The amazing thing about getting lost in time with someone is knowing they’re on the same page with you. It takes two strong people to let down all the walls and enjoy the moment. There is nothing more powerful than getting lost in time. I know, because I’m experiencing it and I’m enjoying every second of whatever we call time.

How to Reignite Your Love When It Feels Like The Fire Is Dying

By sarahelizabethmalinak

The other night I watched Keith Urban’s video “Sweet Thing” about falling in love. It got me to thinking about that sweet, potent time when love is new. Here are some of the lyrics:

When I picked you up for our first date baby
Well, your pretty blue eyes, they were drivin’ me crazy
And the tiny little thought that was so amazing
Is they were lookin at me.
I held open the car door for you then you climbed
Inside and slid on over
To the other side.. I thought my, oh my..
Sweet thing
The moon is high and the night is young
Come on and meet me
In the backyard under the cottonwood tree
It’s a good thing and I’m wishin
C’mon sweet thing
Won’t you climb on out of your window
While the world is sleepin
Cause you know I need you
And there’s no way I’ll be leavin
Til we’re kissing on the porch swing
Oh my little sweet thing

Is Your Love Fading?

Whenever it seems like the fire of your love is fading, one of the quickest ways to fan the flames is to think, do, and be the way you were when you fell in love. Following are some reminders of how you were together back then.

When you fell in love, you looked at each other in the eyes with compassion, kindness, appreciation, and adoration. How long has it been since this was the usual way you looked at him or you gazed at her?

When you touched each other back then, you really felt it. Touching each other penetrated your skin, coursing through your muscles to your very bones. You felt it through and through because you craved this person’s touch. How long has it been since you were fully present while giving and receiving touch with your lover?

The first time you saw his chest hair, it sent a shiver through your body. The first time you touched her breast, it lit you up like a roman candle! You did not take this person’s body for granted but were mystified by its treasures. How long has it been since the sight of any part of his or her body filled your imagination with awe?

How To Bring It Back

Take a minute or two or twenty or more, go back in time, and remember the appreciation, adoration, compassion, and kindness. Feel the smile play on your lips at the memory. Then turn your attention to him or her and revisit those heart felt days. Fan the flame of your love with the kind of presence you brought to the relationship when it was new and reap the rewards!

If it has been years since you related to each other this way, you may need to get into the habit of this level of being present on a regular basis before the rewards really roll in. Lack of appreciation and attention, the fires of your love fading, can result in resentment and hard feelings. Suddenly becoming interested and amorous can feel false and pretentious. But revisiting that space, allowing it to open your heart and letting it work its magic bit by bit will make a difference over time.

If it hasn’t been that long since you related to each other this way, develop a “discipline” of returning to that potent time of falling in love as a booster shot for your love. It will be the most fun work you will ever put into your relationship!