Love & Relationships

Limited Valentine’s Budget? How To Make It Special Anyways

Remember how special it was as a kid to make a handmade, crayon laden card with all the special hearts and “gushy” words on it (or at least all the words we knew at Kindergarten or First grade)?

Remember how the simple token of love given by our little hands to our mothers or fathers made more of a difference to them than all the candy Whitman’s chocolates? I’m thinking maybe we need to return to those simple gifts and ideas in these times of great financial distress.

In case you didn’t notice we are in a recession—could be in a depression– and one of the things we need to remember as we approach Valentine’s Day is the simple acronym K.I.S.S.: “Keep It Simple Stupid!”

Simple Things Mean The Most

You’d be surprised how simple things can make such lasting memories and enjoyable intimate moments together. Think of the Bailey’s from “It’s a Wonderful Life” — enjoying a simple night at the old rickety house (and their future home) when their expensive trip away to Bedford Heights went up in smoke. Memories like that will last a long, long while.

So stop looking at your wallet like it’s your enemy! Sure you don’t have cash, but you have imagination and the determination to tell the one you love how much they mean to you.

Great Ideas For Little Cash

1.The greatest perfume in the world is Pine Sol.

Guys, this is for you because you need to know what is the best perfume available for the woman you love. Pine Sol. Lysol. Clorox. Dawn. You get the idea? These are better perfumes than some woman spraying you at a department store causing you to smell like you bathed in a vat of Chanel No 5.

Before your sweetie comes home to see you, impress her with a clean kitchen; a living room fit to eat on the floor with candles and a bowl of fruit to feed her with; a bedroom with candles blazing as you have massage oils to pamper her with.

Using any of these “perfumes” will drive any woman crazy. The pine scent or lemony freshness will linger in her mind for days and weeks to come. You could make this a permanent thing if you like the results.

2.The greatest meal in the world is from your home.

Do you think you have to take your man or woman to an expensive restaurant to show how much you love them? Hogwash! If you know what your lover enjoys on their plate, then get a cook book for goodness sake.

Get the food from the grocery store to make your special dish; get some tips on line to how to put it together; make the dinner a place of wonder and excitement as they come to sample your meal. Afterwards, make them desert… for their bodies.

Get a bowl full of fruits, whipped cream, yogurt, chocolate syrup, and other sweet and sticky goodies and make the moment a reason to enjoy the night together. You’ll never look at your Banana Split the same way again once you’ve used your confections on them.

More Great Ideas….

3.Find someone to make your kids disappear.

Make the kids disappear (yes, really) from the room so you can enjoy your sweetheart naked. Phase the kids out of your mind for one night (or more) while you dream of ways to spread your lover on the table for passionate love making with no abandon.

A good sitter, a friend with kids with a free night handy to give you, or a very special event involving a “sleep over” comes in handy. Utilize your “parental card” and push those lovely kids on someone else for one—or more– night(s) so you and your spouse (or significant other) can get down to some nasty fornicating.

You remember how to do that don’t you? You just act like your parents are away from the house for a long time and you do every naughty thing you’ve been craving to do since you picked up a copy of “The Joy of Sex” from your parent’s bedroom.

4.Go to an adult boutique or bookstore together.

This may cause money or rankle your sensibilities to buy a pair of edible undies or a ball gag. You may also feel uncomfortable about entering such a place because of the stigma it entails. It doesn’t have to be.

Just browsing the store together to see what turns you or your lover on is a very liberating thing. Not only do you get a peek into the mindset of your lover, you can also take down the walls that keep you from expressing your sexual side towards each other.

Even if you break down and by a vibrator or an adult movie you get the best way of enjoying a moment like this together. Go on and take the darn thing home for a test ride!

5.Take a “walk” on the wild side.

Sometimes just spending time together is the most inexpensive, loving, and bonding thing money can’t by. If you got to get out of the house, then get out of the house. WALK. RUN. GO!

Go around the neighborhood, take a walk along the river, hold hands, kiss, neck, get close, make out, or get wild. Now, if you do get too wild make sure you a) not cause a stir with others out and about and b) you are careful where you plan to get “wild” to avoid some skin rash or a brush with nature you don’t want to encounter.

These are but a few inexpensive ways to make sure Valentine’s Day (or any romantic day) one for the ages.

Just because the boys and girls on Wall Street are cutting back and layoffs abound doesn’t mean you don’t have to scrimp on the one commodity that never runs dry: Intimacy and love.

Those things are always bullish and there is never a bearish thing about it.

Single and Valentine’s Day – Make it Fun!

By elainewilliams

I recall vividly my first Valentine’s Day as a widow, four years ago. I knew there would be no one to buy a small chocolate gift for, nor was there a gift to be received from my husband who had passed away nine months before. Knowing how special days can weigh on someone who is facing them alone, especially for the first time, I decided to think ahead and create my own day of fun.

Thinking about various ways I could spend the day, I settled on celebrating in a low-key manner with close friends. I felt I really didn’t need to be alone on a day when most couples celebrate or think of each other, thus reminding me of what I didn’t have. And since my kids were older, they were off on their own adventures.

A Single Gal’s Plan Of Action

After deciding on a plan of action, and unwilling to spend the day alone, I treated myself and invited two girlfriends out to dinner with me. It was a way to be with others who I cared about and I knew cared about me. It was also a way to bring some light-hearted normalcy to my social life, which was seriously lacking.
I had turned down several dinner invitations during the cold winter months and holidays. I had tended to isolate myself, so our dinner was an unexpected delight – an enjoyable evening of conversation and laughter, something I hadn’t experienced in some time.

I talked and connected with two people who I’d known for some years, and to whom I’d grown closer since the loss of my husband. By dinner’s end I was thankful that I’d thought ahead to create new memories, and thankful for the support of my friends. It felt good to laugh again, a simple joy. Afterwards, we went to see a movie, a lighthearted comedy that brought up more laughter.

Finding Joy And Laughter This Valentine’s Day

At the end of the evening, once I was back in my own home, I remembered that in grief, or divorce, we are missing an important part of what once was — but it doesn’t mean there has to be an absence of joy and laughter in our lives. You can smile again, even if at first it’s only one evening at a time.

If you’re single on Valentine’s Day – open yourself to joy and laughter. It’s not reserved for those who have never lost; it is there for everyone if we keep our minds and hearts ready for the life that comes our way.

Boost Your Self Confidence And Become Irresistible!

By chickinheels

Going through a case of the ‘blahs’? Maybe feeling like you’ll never find ‘that special someone’ or that the special someone you are with just doesn’t seem interested??

I think deep down everyone is somehow searching. Searching for the right mate, searching for ways to find happiness, searching for ways to be appreciated. We’ve all been there, once or twice.

It may sound cliché but the truth is, if you are willing to boost yourself up, then others will quickly take notice. Think about the times that you have been in love or the times that you have felt most alive and happy. Those are the times when you were attracting people TO you – effortlessly.

The Spark

I’ll bet that these are also the instances in which you felt energized by life. THAT, right there, is the key to attaining and maintaining your irresistibility!! Everyone is attracted to those who carry the “spark of life” and everyone has the potential to shine.

It doesn’t matter what shape or size you are, it doesn’t matter what job you have or what people you know. What matters is how you treat yourself and how you view the world around you.

Optimists have this easier, as they are naturally pulled toward looking at life with a positive frame of mind. Pessimists are a little more tricky, they have to consciously decide that they are convinced that the sun can shine on the gloomiest of days.

And common sense alone will dictate that the people you come in contact with will always be attracted to those who feel self assured and happy from the inside out.

Trust me, I am about the most positive person I know, and even “I” have my moments where I would just rather lie down and feel poopy then look on the bright side. Okay, well that happens to the best of us but what is important is not allowing those times to take up the majority of your life.

After all, life is short. Problems will always be there, but LIFE itself won’t. I know the bills are there. We all have them, but I choose to gain strength in that moment when I notice I’m having a good hair day or when my son looks cute smiling at me even with his runny nose.

Convince Yourself

The only trick here is to convince yourself that you can choose to be happier and FEEL better.

I find it interesting to hear about people who are out there on the hunt, searching for another person to fulfill them; to make them whole.

Do you want to know the fastest way to achieve this task? Stop focusing on the search and look from within. It doesn’t take a grandiose effort either. Smile more and invest in moments that make you feel good.

Give yourself a night off and take a bath by candle light. Put on your favorite song and dance until the last note plays. You will find if you take this approach you will attract people who enjoy you when you are happiest and who want to partake in that.

YOU Have the Power

Plus, you will always be armed with the knowledge that you have the ultimate power to ensure your happiness. You will not become a cling on who believes happiness is only created from the love of another person. You will know that anyone else in your life can become an addition to your happiness, not the sole object of it. And that, my friends, is healthy.

I’ve always said that there is something to be noted about sex appeal. I consider myself to be a picky lady when it comes to men and I would say that sex appeal is more then 50% of what I base my attraction to someone on. Looks do not carry as much weight.

Be Happy Being You

Someone who is comfortable in their own skin and gives off a positive outlook is so much more appealing and will attract many others then the gorgeous guy with the sucky attitude. Think of it this way, if you met someone who was fulfilled with themselves, that gives them confidence. They are content and happy, and that makes them all the more alluring to be around.

It’s a benefit all around. You think about what makes you happy, make a conscious effort to have a good day and think positively and that will be noticed by those around you. If you don’t find people taking notice right away, keep it up. You soon will and until you do, you are STILL making yourself a happier person along the way.

I think there are many people in situations where they feel hopeless, like they will never find the right partner or that their partner will never love them the way they want them to. The only thing they are not realizing is that it begins with them first.

Building strength and happiness as an individual is what will attract so many others into your world. There is no reason why you can’t start now. Wear your favorite outfit to the grocery store and smile… It seems like nothing, but I’ll bet you feel good and others will see that too!

Are You Really Staying Together For The Kids?

By drbonnieeakerweil

Is It The Kids, Or Is It Something Else?

I believe that couples can work through just about any difference or circumstance thrown their way and encourage people to make up, not break up. But when it comes to reasons why people DO end up staying together, I don’t think that “the kids” is a valid, or truthful, reason, nor is it a healthy one.

Let’s take the relatively recent example of Sen. John Edwards, whose affair was revealed to the public during this election cycle, but had been made known to his wife soon after it happened.

We at least have to give him SOME credit for being honest with her. She said she was (obviously) upset, but decided to stick it out with her husband “for the kids.”

This is something we hear a lot, and something I see a lot when talking to couples who are contemplating divorce or who have gone through an affair situation. The truth is, people rarely stay together just for the kids.

Wanting To Make It Work

People stay with the cheating spouse/partner because deep down they want to make it work and they believe they CAN get to the bottom of the situation, and work through it. These are valuable sentiments to acknowledge and important in beginning to re-build the relationship, if that’s what the couple chooses to do.

The affair usually comes as a wake-up call to both parties involved. It’s a (rather obvious!) sign that they’re struggling with something else, whether it be a fear of loss, as seems to be the situation in the case of the Edwards’, dealing with stress (also a possible factor), or even a means of revenge for something else going on in the relationship.

Whatever the reason, it’s an obvious turning point and one that can be negotiated around when the couple is willing to get to the bottom of their emotions.

Is Virtual Cheating Really Cheating?

By loveandsex

As people begin to spend more and more time online for both work and pleasure, it’s only natural that you’re going to meet people online through websites and even through friends.

Sometimes, however, people build relationships with others online, even if they’re currently in a relationship with someone in the real world. Is virtual cheating really cheating?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Just recently I found out that my husband has been e-mailing other women online. When I confronted him, he said he did not think it was cheating. We have a great marriage and sex life. How do I get past this and begin to trust again?

–Katie, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8af1VRFEg4[/youtube]

The Dishonesty Factor

While many couples define cheating differently, one way of looking at it is through the dishonesty factor. Whether it’s an online relationship or watching pornography when you’re not around, if your partner is dishonest with you about it or only takes part in these activities when you’re not around, you can pretty much bet your partner is cheating on you.

Not cheating in the “I had sex with someone else” sense; we’re talking emotional cheating here, which is often more hurtful than purely physical cheating. If you look at “cheating” through the dishonesty factor, any activity which your partner is dishonest with you about or tries to hide from you can be considered cheating.

Virtual Cheating – How Does It Make You Feel?

If you and your partner have a different take on cheating, for example, if you both feel like cheating is simply having a sexual tryst with someone else, it probably still doesn’t make you feel too great if your partner is chatting online or developing romantic relationships with other people online behind your back.

Just because it might not fall under your definition of cheating, if you’re not comfortable with it, it’s time to speak up!

This goes for anything in your relationship. If you’re not comfortable with something, it’s important that you discuss with your partner the way the virtual relationships and chatting makes you feel so that you can begin to work it out and find boundaries that make you both happy.

Talking To Your Partner

So you’re uncomfortable with your partner developing romantic relationships online, and you may even consider it cheating. It’s time to bring it up to your partner and let them know how you feel. It’s important not to be critical, regardless of how angry and hurt you might be.

Don’t let the argument escalate! Take the time to sit down and really talk to your partner about how it makes you feel and why you consider it cheating or why you don’t. Listen to what your partner has to say about it. If you both give each other the chance to present your sides of the issue, most likely you can work out a solution that makes both of you happy!

You should also take this opportunity to clarify the boundaries of online relationships and online chatting. Talk with your partner about what is okay and what isn’t. Make suggestions and even talk about some hypothetical situations and how they might make you feel if they happened.

You can begin to shape some clearer lines about what is acceptable and what isn’t when it comes to virtual relationships and chatting – only you and your partner can decide what is right for you!