Relationship Advice

4 Financial Steps Towards Being More Relationship Attractive!

Are you one of those guys who think that everything will fall into place once you meet Mr. Wonderful? You know what I’m talking about. Your life will be absolutely perfect when you meet the “ONE”? The financial debt you’ve acquired will disappear. Your savings account will magically sprout a money tree and your life’s vision will become so crystal clear, you’ll wonder why you didn’t meet Mr. Wonderful sooner.

What Does Money Have To Do With Great Relationships?

Believe me, I am not one to burst bubbles, but I am the kind of person who loves supporting people in their dreams, creative processes and imaginations. However, when it comes to being Date Smart and Relationship Ready, there’s one MAJOR piece that needs to be in place in order for Relationship Success to happen. And I’m talking about blissful, easy-going love relationships.

There is nothing like an empty wallet and creditors hounding you while you’re trying meet Mr. Wonderful. Also, wouldn’t it be great if you could finally be where you’ve always dreamed of being when it comes to finances and relationships? I’m not saying LOVE can’t happen during financial crisis; what I am saying is, if you want to end the cycle of bad dating and relationships, foreclose on never having money troubles in a relationship, then you will do what it takes to get debt free and financially sound. Here are 4 Financial Steps that will make you more Relationship Attractive.

4 Easy Steps To Becoming Financially Secure And Relationship Attractive

1. Fatten the PIG! Start an FDIC insured ING Direct on-line savings account. This is a FABULOUS way to have a small portion of your paycheck automatically delivered to your ING account earning a 1.50% APY. I have to say the greatest mind trick with ING is, while your money is being safely stored away and earning interest, you kind of forget it’s there and withdrawing the money takes a few days. So, you will less likely be enticed to spend it!

2. Stop the stinking thinking! There is a belief out there that says you are suppose to have money troubles in relationships and it’s all part of the process of relationship building. Yeah, it’s semi- true, but haven’t you suffered enough and wouldn’t you just love, for once in your life, to have things work out the way you envision them? I always say, build a solid foundation and if things go off course, like sudden money problems, you’ll have the tools and support to get you through it quicker. So, get your money mind-set in order, because that is one smart start to becoming relationship attractive.

3. Where’s that shredder? How many credit cards do you have? Can you transfer balances to one with a lower interest rate? Go for it and then SHRED the rest! You only need one and besides I learned that it’s smarter to have one card for travel or emergencies and pay cash for everything else. If you’re not ready to do this, take a little time to ponder over whether or not it’s worth paying interest or even high interest for goods and services.

4. Get advice! Put your money where it matters. Hire a professional coach to take you through what you need to do to get back on track with your finances. This is a VERY sexy relationship attractive step. It shows you want to start building a solid relationship with money, and that in itself, is a beautiful thing.

Now that you have 4 directions to go, choose one and see it to completion before going to the next. Little by little you will see the changes and before you know it, you are back on track with your finances and opening more space to let Mr. Wonderful in.

Relationships Don’t Have To Be Hard

By maryannecomaroto

Are you at the point in your dating “game” where you feel like it’s just that – only a game, and you’re all gamed out? Or maybe you think that there’s some luck involved – but you haven’t happened into any kind of good luck lately? Maybe you’re looking for a modern version of the traditional “fairy tale” – but a fairy tale none the less.

Let’s be honest, how many of us would be happy with: you meet in re-hab, you have both seen the light, you put your pasts behind you, your souls become one, you get pregnant, move in together, get married, then divorced, but are still really good friends and live semi-happily ever after because your new girlfriend likes your kid and your ex has a better job than you so she didn’t sue for alimony? Or maybe you’re in a third camp: given up on the game, not hoping for luck, and think you just suck at relationships and figure this is as good as it gets. And to make matters worse, it seem like anyone who’s in a relationship is suddenly a relationship expert, coach or guru de jour? Poised and ready to pounce on your temporary lack of clarity or latest relationship disaster, ready to tell you how to get your game back, TODAY, or, if not, for sure in a few weeks!

So…anything’s possible?!

What Is Your Idea Of A Great Relationship?

I guess it depends on what your idea of a great relationship is:

A) Better than my last one
B) Someone who completes me
C) Right now, just someone (I really don’t want to be alone)

If this is the best you’re hoping for, statistically, you’re probably just going to get into another relationship that will end up being just like you’re last one. Here’s this “fairy tale” scenario: Another boy meets girl, they get hot for each other, lay on the seduction routine, spend the next three months to ten years finding out who each other really is and then end the relationship. At the least, you’re terribly disappointed, but more likely you’ve probably both had your heart broke! In case you didn’t know, there is an alternative to the ever-popular collective urge-to-merge nightmare.

Like so many of us, I had gone from one relationship to another, measuring my growth each time in terms of things like: Well, this one’s not an alcoholic, or at least this one’s not a sexual deviant, or whew! this one doesn’t do drugs, or at least he’s loyal, or not addicted to porn—and on the rationalizations went until finally I decided there had to be another way. And I jumped ship; the scenic route to relationship enlightenment was about killing me. The first few lessons I learned set in motion a body of work that I live and teach to this day!

Step By Step

First: I decided that chemistry is an indicator of…chemistry and THAT’S all. Sorry Darwin, I decided to go with the theory that the rest of our brain is there for a reason. Therefore I was determined to use it, rather than fall prey to the old brain story that a penis has a mind of its own, blah blah blah. Yeah, I did the math on that and noticed I almost always lost when I made decisions based solely on chemistry—NEXT!

Second: Oh, Dr. Phil will love this: we teach people how to treat us. And that means learning to be responsible. I went a step further and found physics laws to substantiate the fact, added some neural loop studies to support how to undo or override our early programming, and a few basic Buddhist principles, and birthed my unique recipe for becoming and remaining internally focused, which is the foundation of my daily SHOMI© Method practice, which teaches habits that help you wake up – and STAY awake!

And third: I sought and found the one thing I had searched for, longed for my entire adult life—a great relationship with myself. Like so many, I had believed (or hoped) that when I found my soulmate I would live happily ever after. Until I realized that my soulmate was me. And that’s when my life changed forever!

What Really Makes A Great Relationship?

Now this may come as a shock to some of you, but having a GREAT relationship involves NO TRICKS, NO GIMMICKS. Rather, generally speaking, it involves:

* feeling and healing copious amounts of historical pain (some of which you may have currently blocked out);
* knowing who you are and what you want; possessing effective communication skills and a large amount of discernment;
* having a daily self-care practice; and, oh yeah, the ability to give yourself everything you want from another person. (You need a real track record of doing all this vs. simply having good intentions of all of the above).

These skills are fundamental to what I call the “relationship toolbelt.” What I have learned after 28 years on a path of self-discovery and over 25 years working in the personal development industry is that there is a dream that some folks get lucky, the right one comes along and, yes, they live happily ever after. (I have met, uh, no one that falls into this category.) For most of us, if we want the good stuff (and I certainly did) it was about getting real, then realistic and figuring out a plan on how I was going to be successful in this area of my life. I mean, come on—most of go to school for years preparing ourselves to go out and be successful at whatever we want to be successful at, and even then, it escapes so many of us.

Imagine trying to run a business without a plan! Having a good idea is not enough, just like chemistry is not enough or thinking someone is hot, or sexy or looks good or is nice—it’s just not enough to create and maintain a healthy, fulfilling, sustainable relationship! So, what is enough? Honestly, I always say, it takes everything you’ve got! Did for me. And it’s been worth it!! That’s why my husband and I created CORR©, Certificate of Responsible Relationship. We realized that there were, at minimum, six skills we used daily (and still do) that made (and still makes) our relationship GREAT, and turned them into part of a program that would help people attract and create healthy, fulfilling sustainable relationships!

Recession Proof Your Relationship

By drbonnieeakerweil

Some economists are predicting we could be pulling out of this recession sooner rather than later, but it’s likely that many Americans will be feeling the affects for quite some time to come. As we as a nation continue to battle through job loss, market dives, etc., individual couples and families continue to need a game plan for dealing with the added stress placed on us by the economy. The American Psychological Association reports that 80% of people say the economy is causing added stress in their lives. A certain amount of uncertainty is likely unavoidable for most, but here are a few suggestions for dealing with it.

Your Relationship And Finances

First and foremost, keep your financial talk separate from other leisure activities. Don’t talk about money stresses during a dinner out, while watching a movie together, or while engaging in another couples activity that typically brings enjoyment.

Instead, schedule a time to talk about finances, so you don’t feel constantly on-edge or bombarded by money talk. If each person knows that an appointment exists where the sole purpose is to discuss the budget, finances, etc., they won’t have to worry about other drama that may arise in between these meetings. Be sure to keep these financial discussions – which I recommend be held about once a week – under ten minutes. Attention spans tend to wane, nerves get frayed and stressors really start to show up when you go beyond ten minutes.

Because of these constraints, you’ll want to make sure you have an agenda so you know what needs and concerns need to be addressed. Be prepared to talk about specifics, and then come up with a game plan of how to deal with these concerns. This may mean assigning each person something they need to deal with during the next week, or it may mean acting on something right then as a couple.

Avoiding Financial Infidelity

Remember during these talks to use what I call “Money Love Language.” I discuss this technique in my book, Make up Don’t Breakup, and provide exercises in Financial Infidelity. It involves providing a place where each person can discuss their feelings without fear of retribution. Money is a heated topic and even when doing all the “right” things – i.e., scheduling a time to talk about it, limiting conversation length, etc – tempers can still flare and stress can still be high. When you have your “money meetings,” each person should have a chance to express any concerns, or suggest new ideas without worrying that the other person is going to over-react. Communicating about money in this way is important as it ensures that these exchanges are healthy and not threatening.

Additionally, after such an exchange, plan to do something fun, so that there’s a positive association made with a money discussion. I’ll talk next week about the reasoning behind keeping each meeting under ten minutes, as well as topics that might be worth discussing with your partner.

4 Simple Insights That Will Make You Sexier!

By greghalpen

OK, I’m going to let it all hang out. When I look back to my own love life, it was a nightmare and boy, it seems like anther life time ago. I remember when I dreaded dating; especially first dates; I always worried that I made my dates head for the hills after 30 minutes of my desperate energy. If I happen to get a second or third date with the same guy, I took on this “He picked me” mentality!

Why?

1. Dating scared me.
2. I scared me.
3. I didn’t know how to date smart.
4. I didn’t know where or how to find the guys I envisioned being with.
5. I settled for any dates.
6. Even though I knew it wasn’t a good fit, I would continue to date him, and yes, even jump into a relationship.

Dating And Sitting In The Driver’s Seat

When it comes to showing your softer side or talking about yourself, you just want to keep on hiding. Dating can actually be a wonderful experience. Imagine how liberating it could be to actually go on dates where you’re in the driver’s seat; where you’re at a place of feeling so comfortable with sharing yourself, your world in such an authentic way, that being vulnerable, is second nature.

Well, I can attest that this is absolutely possible. I guarantee you can evolve from being the bad insecure dater to being the smart, confident dater MAN. I know because I have done it. With these 4 simple insights, you will start to see where you’ve been hitting the wall and missing the door. Let these insights be that door to more amazing dating opportunities.

Insights That Will Ultimately Make You Sexier

1. Is your life hanging by a thread? Is the rest of your life in order? Does it feel like you have enough emotional space in your life to invite a dating relationship? More times than you can recall, do you consistently get stressed out because of debt or is the J-O-B a PIA? The fact is, there is amazing opportunities that come with being single. The opportunity to get your life, your finances, your emotions and friendships in amazing order.

2. People always telling you NO. Take this example: There is someone in my life where every time I share something I want to achieve or a special dream I want to pursue, they always respond with “Well what about this! Or what about that or can I make a suggestion?” They mean well, but the truth is they’re actually telling me, in so many words, that I can’t do it. If we want to achieve love success or any success for that matter, we really need to start monitoring when, why and how these people are showing in our lives. Remember, dream and dream BIG!

3. The love of your life is right there in front of you! Have you met the man who is going to love you no matter what, support you no matter what and always have the right answers? Well, believe this, you’ve met him already. He’s YOU. Until you love yourself truly, authentically and fully you cannot hope to find that love in another.

4. Planning is SEXY! *Meeting, dating and creating a relationship with the man of your dreams does not just happen, it requires these things: VISION, CLARITY, DESIRE and ACTION.
• VISION – specifically defining exactly who you want to be within a relationship. It just doesn’t stop at physical characteristics. It goes beyond that reaching towards core values, relationship requirements, how you see the world.
• CLARITY – understanding who you are, your truth, needs and requirements. What is your truth? What are your deal-breakers?
• DESIRE – a willingness to do the work to clear the path for a healthy loving relationship.
• ACTION – doing what is necessary, being aware and listening to your inner voice so you will recognize him when you finally do meet.

*A client of mine came up with number 4 after coaching together for 5 months. He is truly on the path to having the relationship of his dreams.

When Your Dating Life Takes A Turn For The Better

Dating can be a beautiful time in the relationship process. With these insights not only will you attract men who play in your league, spend time with amazing guys who listen to your words, you will attract them frequently and consistently. If you are dead serious about being in a loving long-term relationship, you will start working from the inside out by following these simple insights.

How To Date A Daddy’s Girl

By sarahelizabethmalinak

She’s daddy’s little princess? Treat her like your queen! This won’t spoil her. Rather, it will touch her in such a way that you will stand out from the crowd. Keep reading to discover the daddy’s girl’s mind set and the secret to what she needs from you in order to feel safe and loved by you.

Understanding A Daddy’s Girl

If you are a single man out there dating today, chances are most of the women you date are daddy’s girls. Ever since women stepped up during World War II to take the place of men in the workplace who went off to war, competent, successful, capable women have been proud to bear the title “daddy’s girl.” Although not every daddy’s girl is “daddy’s little princess,” all daddy’s girls are competent women who are used to taking charge. Even the daddy’s girl who is submissive and a willing servant will take charge of your happiness 24/7. This is a crucial understanding to have if you want to have success with the adult daddy’s girl you date.

Daddy’s girls are raised to believe that it is within their power and necessary for them to take care of everyone they love. She may boss you around or serve your every need, be one of the guys or frilly from head to toe, but her motivation is to take care of you because she is convinced this is the only thing that will bring her fulfillment. I’m sorry to have to say it, but this is a lie! As a man, the idea that your woman’s route to fulfillment is all about pleasing you might be a very juicy idea! However, a woman loves best who finds her fulfillment from within herself.

How To Love A Daddy’s Girl

What daddy’s girls need is reassurance that their feelings are cherished and the freedom to kick back, relax, and receive. Giving her these things can prove to be a huge challenge, but you’re a man, you can handle it!

When you ask her out for that first date, be assertive and have plans. If you take her out to eat, rather than ask her what restaurant she would like to go to, save that level of casualness for after you have been dating for awhile. Have specific plans, be bold, and share them with her. If you have been dating for awhile, periodically be assertive and make specific plans. Your assurance in yourself reassures her that she can rely on you to take care of her. Daddy’s girls are used to people taking advantage of their ability to take responsibility. Every time you remind her she can count on you makes an impression on her.

Respecting A Daddy’s Girl

While you are on the date, a daddy’s girl isn’t likely to hang on your every word. She is an intelligent woman used to making contributions to conversations. At times, you may find yourself competing with her for attention! Respect her mind and accomplishments, but not too much. Now why would I say that? When you respect a woman, you treat her like a man. As a daddy’s girl, this woman spends too much time existing in the world like a man: being decisive, taking action, handling responsibilities. When she is in your hands, you will capture her attention if you can create the space for her to trust your lead while relaxing her mind and body.

Besides, the best way to show a woman respect is to cherish her feelings. When she talks about her accomplishments and decisive action in her work life, ask her how it made her feel. When you want to try and fix something she’s sharing with you, ask her what her desire was about the situation. Did she desire a different outcome? How might she get that desire met in a similar situation in the future? How did she feel when what she wanted was thwarted? As a man, these kinds of questions may feel “sticky” and dangerous to you. She will get it, though. It will take her to a feminine space she may be unfamiliar with but a space she will feel grateful for having been led to.

Giving Her What She Needs

As she learns she can trust sharing her feelings with you, the responsibility on your end for asking the questions will go away. Once a woman realizes a man cherishes her feelings, she longs to share them with him. He doesn’t have to ask! The question then becomes creating balance so that there is more to the relationship than just listening to her share her feelings! But that is another subject!

There are things you can do on a date to assist her in kicking back, relaxing, and receiving. Insist on getting doors for her. Pull the chair out for her to sit in. Let her walk into the movie isle first. When you walk with her along a sidewalk, position yourself between her and traffic. These little things may seem small or even condescending. But they communicate that you are the man and that she is worthy of being treated like royalty. If she resists these efforts on your part to help her kick back, relax, and receive from you, use your attitude and words to reassure her that this is about her worthiness and status. It shouldn’t take long to win the battle and have her enjoying your attention.

Daddy’s girls can be a challenge because of their orientation that it is all up to them, that they are superior to men, and that men need them more than they need men. You can be the difference maker in her life by vigilantly showing up as the man who understands her real value, cherishes her feelings, and gives her the freedom to kick back, relax, and receive for a change. Good luck with this. She is worth the challenge and you are worth the prize!