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Q&A: How Can You Tell If He’s Circumcised – Visually?

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If you’ve never seen a circumcised penis before, it can be difficult to tell whether a penis is circumcised or not just by looking at it. There are, however, a few key features that a uncircumcised penis has that are different from a circumcised penis. Here’s how you can tell them apart.

Question: How can someone tell they’re circumcised visually?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2pTT8IOdi8[/youtube]

An Uncircumcised Penis

An uncircumcised, or intact penis, has a few distinct characteristics that help identify it. An uncircumcised penis has what is called a foreskin, which is a thin skin covering the head of the penis. In adult men, the foreskin retracts and is moveable, allowing it to slide over the head of the penis towards the base during an erection, completely exposing the glans. The foreskin then slides back into its normal position covering the head of the penis when it is not erect. Because the head of the penis is inside a protective covering, the skin of the glans is genrally very soft and moist. An intact penis produces a white, waxy substance underneath the foreskin called smegma, which is generally washed away during proper hygiene routines.

A Circumcised Penis

When the foreskin is removed from the penis during a circumcision surgery, the head of the penis is exposed to air and friction from underwear and clothes. While the glans is designed to be protected from friction by the foreskin, allowing the skin of the glans to stay supple, an uncircumcised penis must produce thicker skin cells in response to friction and air exposure. The head of a circumcised penis is dry and tough, much like the skin on your arm or other parts of your body that are exposed to the elements. A penis that is no longer intact has no foreskin, but most of the time the skin on the shaft of the penis will still move towards the head of the penis and back and generally won’t go over the head of the penis. In some circumcision cases, however, not enough skin is left after the surgery to allow for this movement. The most defining characteristic of a circumcised penis is the coronal ridge, or the ridge at the bottom of the head of the penis that separates it from the shaft. While uncircumcised men still have a coronal ridge, it is mostly hidden by the foreskin. The ridge is much more prominent on a circumcised male, and can be seen and felt easily.

Circumcised vs. Uncircumcised

Besides the way they look, there are quite a few differences between circumcised and uncircumcised penises. Penises with an intact foreskin have about 8,000 more nerve endings just within the foreskin, making the penis much more sensitive and receptive to stimulation. Circumcised penises, however, do not have to be cleaned as thoroughly as an uncircumcised penis, as there is n0 skin to pull back and clean underneath. Both circumcised and uncircumcised penises vary in size, shape, length and thickness. Men with either type of penis are capable of having a satisfying sex life and pleasing their partners sexually.

What To Do If You Think You’ve Been Raped

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Whether you’ve been violently raped or have been a victim of date rape drugs and aren’t sure what happened, being raped is a frightening experience and many women just aren’t sure what to do afterwards. Here’s what you need to do if you’ve been raped or think you’ve been raped, so you can begin the healing process.

You’re Not Alone

Remember that if you’ve been raped, you’re not alone. About 10% of women are raped at some point during their lifetime. Know that you did nothing wrong and the rape wasn’t your fault, no matter what the rapist has told you. There is nothing shameful about getting help for rape, and it’s absolutely critical to take steps after being raped to get the proper medical attention and help for your emotional and psychological scars.

What Not To Do

It’s essential that after a rape that you do absolutely nothing except get immediate medical attention. Do not shower, bathe, brush your hair, douche, change clothes or even wash your hands. Go straight to the emergency room. If you’ve woken up after a night out and find that you’re clothes are torn or missing and you’re sore like you’ve had sex but don’t remember it, gather the clothing you were wearing the night before (especially your panties) and bring them to the emergency room with you. Your first instinct may be to take a nice long, hot shower to scrub the rape off you, but it’s incredibly important that you do exactly the opposite. Go to the emergency room right away with your hair a mess and your makeup smeared. No one is going to judge you – they’re going to help you.

What’s In A Rape Kit

At the emergency room, a forensic nurse or doctor will begin the process of collecting evidence, called a rape kit. A vaginal and anal swab will be taken to look for semen, and the undersides of your fingernails will be scraped for skin specimens. Your clothes will be taken and searched for bodily secretions, hairs, clothing fibers and other specimens. It’s going to be uncomfortable, especially after a rape, but it’s the only way to get enough evidence to catch and convict the criminal responsible for the rape. If you shower, wash your hands, brush your hair or teeth, or change your clothes, you’re destroying any chance the police have at finding the rapist. Remember that after the rape kit is finished, you can take as long a shower as you’d like and even burn the clothes you wore if you’d like.

Preventing Pregnancy And Treating STD’s

The other benefit to going directly to the hospital after you’ve been raped is that you can be given emergency contraception, known as the “morning after pill” to prevent pregnancy from the rape incident. You can also be treated for sexually transmitted diseases and infections, so the rape will have no long term effects on your life. While a rape itself is utterly devestating, a pregnancy or STD caused by the rape can wreak havoc on the rest of your life. Going straight to the emergency room and allowing trained and caring professionals to take care of you is the first step to healing, recovering, and putting the rape behind you.

Q&A: How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Bisexual?

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Discovering that you’re bisexual is one thing, but telling your parents is another! The thought of telling your parents that you’re bisexual or even gay is frightening. How will they react? Will they become angry or will they accept you? Here’s how you can tell your parents about your sexual orientation, regardless of what their reaction might be.

Question: How do I tell my parents I’m bisexual without getting a reaction like “Oh, it’s just a phase” or “You’re just being eccentric?”

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFVgVVV9JOc[/youtube]

Should You Tell Your Parents?

A lot of people feel like they should tell their parents about their sexual orientation as soon as they discover it. If you realize that you’re gay or bisexual, should you tell your parents right away? Perhaps not – give yourself some time to absorb this yourself first and get to know yourself on this new level. It’s up to you when you tell your parents or even if you tell them at all, but it’s important to know that there’s no rush. If you’re planning on bringing someone home, or you feel more comfortable being very openly gay or bisexual, it’s best that your parents aren’t surprised or that they don’t hear it from someone else. In this case, it’s important to talk to them as soon as possible so they can hear it straight from you.

Telling Your Parents

When you tell your parents about your sexual orientation, it’s essential that you be honest and sincere. Don’t be vulgar and keep it simple. You don’t have to have a sit down talk, but make sure you and your parents aren’t out at dinner or in a place where it might become uncomfortable. Be calm and confident when you talk to your parents, which will be easier if you’ve given yourself time to absorb your sexuality. If you’re still unsure of your sexual orientation yourself, you’re going to appear unsure to your parents too. You might get questions from your parents and you need to be prepared to answer them with concise, honest and confident answers.

Their Reaction

It’s impossible to know what your parent’s reaction will be until you actually tell them. You might suspect that they’ll become angry or simply dismiss you as going through “a phase,” but you won’t know for sure. When you tell your parents that you’re bisexual or gay, respect their reaction. It might not be the reaction you want or even the reaction you thought they’d have, but you can’t force them to feel the same way about your sexuality as you do. If your parents suggest you’ll “grow out of it,” simply give it time. Be true to yourself and your parents will soon see that your sexual orientation isn’t just a passing phase and that it is part of who you are. They’ll have to choose either to accept you as you are or not, and unfortunately, you can’t do anything to influence that decision. So just focus on being yourself and learning to be comfortable in your own skin.

What Are Date Rape Drugs?

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Rape has been around for centuries – but date rape drugs haven’t. Recently, date rape drugs have become more popular among rapists and even seemingly regular guys, because it allows them to silently slip a drug into a girl’s drink to incapacitate them. Many girls who have been given date rape drugs are completely knocked out, with no memory of being raped at all. Date rape drugs are dangerous – here’s what you need to know about them.

Date Rape Drugs Explained

Various forms of date rape drugs are widely available on the street and aren’t often expensive. Drugs such as ketamine, rohypnol and gamma hydroxy butyrate (GHB) are all used to render a woman incapacitated, without the ability to say “no” to sex and often knock her out completely. These drugs are very popular among rapists because they don’t change the flavor, consistency or color of a drink and can easily be disguised. Other drugs can be used to create a similar effect, including over the counter cold medicines and sleeping pills, but these are more difficult to hide and can often be detected quickly. While women are more often the victims of date rape drugs, men can be targeted as well and these drugs have a similar effect on them.

How Do Date Rape Drugs Feel?

Date rape drugs can often make a woman feel very passive, and open or willing to do anything, like having sex. It may make her feel giddy, and she might make choices that she wouldn’t ordinarily make under different circumstances. Some women pass out, although not all of them do. Since date rape drugs often “erase” the memory of what happened while the drugs were in effect, it can be difficult to tell if a date rape drug was ever used on you. However, a severely “hung over” feeling will occur the morning after, but can often be confused with a normal alcohol related hangover. Unfortunately, there truly is no way of being sure whether you were given a date rape drug or not without a doctor’s test. Most of these drugs leave the body very quickly, often within just 48 or 72 hours, so it can be difficult to determine the use of a date rape drug unless the test is performed shortly after the suspected incident.

Protecting Yourself From Date Rape Drugs

Never take a drink from someone you don’t know very well, whether it is in a bottle or a glass. Watch your bartender make your drinks and take them yourself. Don’t allow a waiter or waitress or someone you don’t know well get your drinks for you. Always keep an eye – or a hand – on your drink. Never drink out of punchbowls and when you’re at a party, only accept drinks that are closed such as cans or bottles. If you suspect you or a friend have been given a date rape drug, or if you seem very intoxicated if you haven’t drank a lot of alcohol or any at all, leave immediately. There is technology that is available now called Drink Safe Technology, which uses test strips to test a drink for date rape drugs. Similar to pH testing strips that are available for pools, the test strip will turn a dark blue color if the drink is positive for a date rape drug.

Date rape doesn’t always happen in bars – check out What Is Date Rape to find out more about date rape and when it can happen.

Q&A: How Do I Ask Him If He’s A Virgin Without Offending Him?

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When in a new relationship with someone, it’s tempting to ask about your partner’s sexual past, especially if you’re a virgin. Should you? Yes – it can help you know more about your partner and help assess your risk for contracting a sexually transmitted disease. But it’s not exactly the easiest issue to bring up – here’s how to do it.

Question: I’m 19 years old and I’ve been dating my boyfriend, 22, for over a month and a half. I’m a virgin and I really trust him and want to have sex with him, but there are some signs that he may or may not have had sex. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before to ask him whether or not he’s had sex but now I’m not sure how to approach him about it. How to do I ask him whether or not he’s a virgin without emasculating him and making him defensive? I really care about him and want him to be comfortable.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qopfttqm_4[/youtube]

Ask About Sex When You’re Not Having Sex

Asking your partner about their sexual history before, during or after sex are all really bad times to talk about it. Your partner will feel pressured, uncomfortable and may not give you an honest answer. You may even translate his discomfort to mean he’s hiding something from you – and he may not be, even if he seems uncomfortable or stressed out. Make sure to ask your partner about their sexual past during a time when there’s no sex involved – for example, a good time to have this conversation would be during a casual lunch or when you’re just hanging out and relaxing. The idea here is to put as little pressure on your partner as possible. Your attitude about the situation will reflect on him – if you feel like this is a “serious” situation, he will too and he’ll probably freak.

Making Him Feel Comfortable

Making your partner feel comfortable about talking about his sexual history is the only way you’re going to get any real information. Let your partner know that it’s okay whether he’s a virgin or not, and simply let him know that you’re curious. Volunteer your own sexual status to help make him more at ease with sharing his sexual past. Don’t grill him about it and if he’s not comfortable talking about it now, don’t pressure him into giving you an answer right away. Give him time and ask him when he might be ready to talk about it. Let him know it’s not an interrogation – and don’t make him feel like it’s one either.

Why Ask At All?

Some people believe in “don’t ask, don’t tell” when it comes to sharing your sexual history with your partner and vice versa. If you and your partner are more comfortable not talking about it all together, this may work for you. But usually, getting a sexual background on your partner – not necessarily all the dirty details but just the gist – will help you get to know your partner better. Knowing whether your partner has had unprotected sex with a number of people can help you make smarter decisions about safe sex.