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What Gives A Woman Sex Appeal?

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Recently I ran across a fellow relationship coach’s online sales copy for a membership site she offers to women.  It promised all kinds of yummy things.  Better sex, greater intimacy, your man looking at you the way he did when you first fell in love or, if you were single, men looking at you in ways they never did before.  She delivered the invitation in a video that was smart, sexy, and charming.

Stopping Sexual Manipulation

Who wouldn’t want that?  I wanted to know more, so I signed up for more information.  Immediately, I got directed to another page with long sales copy and another video.  As the video began, I scrolled down the page, speed reading the copy.  Suddenly, I heard her say something from the video I couldn’t believe I’d heard!  But I did…I heard it!  She said, “We need to stop making men wrong for all the ways they piss us off!  I totally validate you, but…”  Then a moment later, I heard this, “We’ve got to stop withholding sex from them when they’ve been little s**ts!  Again, I totally validate you!  Yet this is high level manipulation and it’s got to end because it’s pushing away the very connection you yearn for.”

Hold on!  I think the attitude behind those statements pushes away the very connection a woman yearns for!  At that point, she didn’t sound smart, sexy, or charming.  While her intention in the first video seemed to be to connect women with their delicious, pleasure filled, goddess selves in order to draw forth the sex appeal that would attract more men than the women know what to do with; the attitude expressed in the second video, in my opinion, had nothing to do with connection, pleasure, or sex appeal that would turn a man’s head.

What Makes A Sexy Woman?

The sexiest women I know don’t call men names and they don’t commiserate with other women about how their men disappoint them.  The sexiest women I know genuinely like men.  They think men are pretty great.  Rather than being threatened by a man’s testosterone, they admire how it makes men different in all the ways that compliment women.

Women with lots of sex appeal enjoy the company of men.  They like to listen to men share their stories of victory and defeat.  These women make lots of direct eye contact, neither getting lost in the man nor being preoccupied with themselves. Women with lots of sex appeal like and love themselves.  They enjoy their own company.  They’re not waiting for the right man to come along to fill them and make them complete.  They are already whole and complete, fully understanding what they bring to the relationship.

Relationships With Sexy Women

I’ve observed these kinds of women and while I personally find them very appealing, it’s how their men interact with them that seals the deal on my willingness to say these are the sexiest women I know.  Their men genuinely enjoy their company.  Their men are chivalrous without being condescending.  Their men laugh at their jokes, appreciating their minds as well as their bodies and the light in their eyes.  Their men are smitten and rightly so!

If you asked my husband, Joseph, he’d probably tell you I’m just such a woman.  I don’t know about that!  I have my own struggles with letting the men in my life be men.  Yesterday, I had a personal victory where feminine sex appeal is concerned.  The nature of the victory might surprise you but it is an example of how this gets played out in the day-to-day minutia of life.

As I cleaned up the kitchen after a meal Joseph had cooked, he came in from digging up potatoes with two mysteriously shaped boxes that had just been delivered.  The type of boxes posters are mailed in, I laughed as I realized they were the Rain-X windshield wipers I’d ordered for our car.

We opened the boxes and he got busy taking out the wipers, reading the directions, and started doing what he thought needed to be done to prepare them to replace our old wipers with them.  This activity made me nervous.  At one point I gently offered that I’d be happy to be the one to go to some car place and ask them to put them on for me.  That got no response.  Several minutes later he asked, “Are you sure you got the right wipers for our car?”  “Yes!” I replied.

A little bit later he said, “Could you hand me a kitchen knife.”  Inside my head I took note of which wiper he had in his hands and how much it cost and refused to say, “Don’t break it!” as I handed him the knife for him to use as a tool.  I don’t know how many times I refused to say out loud, “Don’t break it!” Suddenly, there was a snap and it was done.  The wiper was ready to go on the car and it was perfect!  Wah-hooo!  He felt great about getting them on himself and I felt wonderful for having kept my mouth shut, my attitude in a good place, and the day moving forward without a hitch!

Be Confident In Your Man

That, my friends, makes me a sexually appealing woman!  Had I failed and said, “Don’t break it,” my lack of confidence in my man and my need to feel superior would have been like throwing cold water on both of us.  Even if we had lightly teased each other about it, I would have felt chagrin and he would have felt some measure of shame. Honestly, sometimes the differences between men and women are experienced as incredibly frustrating.  

However, the more we can appreciate the mystery of the differences between the sexes and choose to genuinely like each other, the greater our sex appeal and the more love we get to experience.  At the end of the day, it’s all about the more love we get to experience!

What Are Crabs And How Do You Get Them? Dangerous Sex Toys?

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You’ve probably heard of the term “crabs” before, and we don’t mean the kind you get at the local seafood joint. Crabs are a curable, although annoying, sexually transmitted disease that you can get a number of ways – including non-sexual ways, such as sharing underwear with someone if it hasn’t been washed in hot water first.

Virgin girl gets crabs – did she get them from her sister’s vibrator or from somewhere else? What exactly are crabs, how do you get them and what can you do to get rid of them?

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What Are Crabs?

Crabs are lice – like head lice, only much smaller, that live in the pubic area. Crabs are tiny and hard to spot, and lay eggs on the hair shaft or follicle like head lice do. Crabs are generally spread through sexual contact, although this doesn’t have to include penetration. Any sexual contact, including vaginal sex, anal sex, or any type of pubic area to pubic area contact. People with crabs (also known as pubic lice) don’t always look like they have pubic lice, and it can be hard to spot. If you have multiple sex partners, make sure you check yourself regularly.

Symptoms of crabs include white dots – which are the crabs’ eggs – in your pubic hair (easier to see if your pubic hair is dark) and can often be spotted easily with a magnifying glass. Intense itching is one of the most common symptoms, even before you begin to see eggs. If you suspect that you might have pubic lice, see your doctor. Your doctor can prescribe a simple shampoo that will remove the crabs as well as their eggs.

Avoiding Crabs

There are some ways you can avoid getting crabs, although, if you have multiple sex partners, it can be difficult to spot right away and you might come into contact with them. You can also get crabs from wearing unwashed underwear of someone who has crabs, or sharing sex toys with someone who has crabs. To avoid exposing yourself to crabs, avoid sharing sex toys with anyone, and always wash your sex toys after use (even if you’re the only one who uses them. You might not get crabs from yourself, but it’s just better hygiene and will avoid spreading unwanted bacteria). You can use a special sex toy cleaner, or simple soap and hot water.

Getting Educated

While crabs are an unwanted sexually transmitted disease, they’re curable and certainly not one of the worse. Many other infections and sexually transmitted diseases can be spread by sharing sex toys or having multiple sex partners. Many of these infections can be treated, but some can’t. It’s important to educate yourself about sexually transmitted diseases and infections and learn how they’re transmitted, what the symptoms are and how you can protect yourself. Using condoms greatly reduces your risk of contracting a number of STD’s and infections. You’re worth the time it takes to explore different resources and take charge of your sexual health. Being smart, safe and informed can save you a lot of time, money, heartache and health problems later.

Does Sex Always Equal Babies?

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Sex education these days is at a low, especially considering our social growth and development in other areas of our lives. While we love exploring why educating our youths about sex is so taboo, this time we’re talking babies. We’re going to answer the simple, yet age old question – does sex always equal babies?

Most people know this, but some of you may not. Does sex always equal babies? Do you have a baby for every time you have sex? Here’s what you want to know about the fundamentals of sex and pregnancy!

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Egg, Sperm, Birds And Bees

To address whether sex always equal babies, first you need to understand the fundamentals of what creates a baby. What it takes to make a baby is simply 1 sperm to fertilize 1 egg. While men release millions of sperm each time they ejaculate, women only drop 1 egg a month (generally, with the exception of twins) within a window of about 3 days, during which the egg can be fertilized. So while you may have sex 30 times in one month, or 5 times in one month, that does not equal how many babies you will have. Most of the millions of sperm that enter the vagina during unprotected intercourse will die before ever reaching the egg, thousands do reach the egg and all it takes to fertilize it is 1. Sperm can also live in the vagina for about three days as well, so these events don’t always have to happen back to back or in order for a pregnancy to occur. In fact, you may release an egg before you have unprotected sex, but still end up pregnant.

Educate Yourself

You can’t rely on your parents or even schools to educate you about sex, so it’s important for you to take that step and start educating yourself. Read about female and male anatomy and broaden your understanding about sex and pregnancy and how they relate to each other. There are a ton of resources available to you through your local health department, the library and websites that can help you understand the basics of pregnancy and sex, as well as human anatomy. Knowledge is power and it’s important to be informed and smart when it comes to sex and you can never learn too much.

Always Risky

When you have unprotected sex, you’re always running the risk of becoming pregnant. Even protected sex isn’t completely, 100% effective. All it takes is 1 sperm and 1 egg. Know that any sex (even protected) can result in a pregnancy, even if it isn’t a pregnancy for every time you have sex. Every time you have sex, you risk getting pregnant. If you aren’t planning on having a baby or don’t want one, take measures to protect yourself when having sex. Abstinence is the only 100%, foolproof way to prevent pregnancy, but condoms, spermicide and birth control work well in reducing the risk of pregnancy, especially when used in conjunction with other pregnancy prevention methods. Condoms are the only safer sex method that will protect you from sexually transmitted diseases.  Do your research – it pays to be informed.

How To Get More Sex In Your Relationship

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It’s common in a long term relationship or a marriage for sex to be on the bottom of your to-do list. It may escape you how it became a “to-do” at all, but most everybody at some point in their lives find that sex comes after chores, taking care of the kids and work. Most everybody wishes it were different though! Most people want to have more sex, better sex and hotter sex! Here’s how.

Not having as much sex as you once did? Has your sex life become a total bore? Here are some great ways to spice up your sex life and make it more interesting so that you both actually want to have sex more often!

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Variety Is Key

If you want more sex in your relationship, variety is key. It’s important to have variety in the bedroom to avoid getting into a sex rut. It’s easy to fall into a sex rut – some people have sex at the same time, in the same position and do the same things each and every time they have sex. While a sexual routine can be comfortable, you tend to put off “comfortable sex” for other things. It’s important to have variety to keep sex from becoming boring or “blah.” If the sex in your relationship is never or rarely the same, you’re going to be less apt to put it off and more apt to put it first.

Long Term Relationships Have More Sexual Benefits

Believe it or not, the myth that sex is better if you have sex with lots of different people is just that – a myth. You can actually experience the best sex of your life in a long term relationship. Why is that? When you’re more comfortable with someone, it’s easier to share your fantasies with them and try new and different things. Yes, getting comfortable with someone can easily lead to “comfortable” sex, but if you put a little effort into it, being comfortable with someone can equally end up in kinkier, hotter and better sex than you’ve ever had in your life.

How To Spice Up Your Sex

Roleplaying is a great way to add something different to your sex “routine.” You can experiment with different types of roleplaying, such as switching dominant and submissive roles, or you can act out fantasies such as the “teacher” and “student” or “maid.” Costumes are fun too and can make roleplaying seem more real. Another way to spice up your sex life is to give your partner different types of orgasms. Touch different areas on your partner, such as her clitoris, her g-spot, his penis, his scrotum, and his perineum. Don’t forget nipples, lips and neck too!

You can also try new positions with your partner. Different positions will feel different sexually and stimulate different areas as well. Another great way to spice up your sex life is to check into a hotel for a night or a weekend! It’s a perfect way to get out of the house and away from your responsibilities for something fun and different.

Is My Penis Too Big To Fit?

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Many men worry about having a penis that is too small to really pleasure their partner. On the other side of the spectrum, however, there are some men that have penises that may be so large that they end up hurting their partner. Vaginas are designed to stretch and accomodate a variety of penis sizes, however, what if he is just too big to fit?

A boyfriend’s penis might be too big for his girlfriend – even when she’s excited, he often ends up hurting her. What can he do to make sex more comfortable for her and more enjoyable for both of them?

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A Medical Problem?

Most vaginas can accomodate a wide variety of penis sizes. Most vaginas can stretch to allow penises of just about any size to fit, regardless of how large or small. But some medical conditions can make a vagina unable to stretch and accomodate a large penis, including a medical condition called vaginismus. In some forms of vaginismus, the PC muscles actually clamp down, making penetration virtually or completely impossible. In other, more common, forms of vaginismus, the PC muscles tighten but don’t clamp down completely, allowing penile penetration but with pain, burning and a feeling of excessive tightness. Fortunately, vaginismus is highly treatable with vaginal dilators – a medical tool that is used at home to lightly stretch the PC muscles and allow the vagina to become more pliable. Click here to learn more about vaginismus.

Visit The Doctor

Some people aren’t physically compatible with each other sexually. Sometimes the puzzle pieces just don’t fit, and there are tons of ways to enjoy each other sexually and intimately if sexual intercourse is too painful. However, this is the rarest of cases. Often, medical problems or issues are at fault for painful sex. Infections, STD’s, pregnancy, and a multitude of other conditions are more likely to cause painful sex than just penis size and physical sexual incompatibility.

Go to the doctor – the doctor is a “body mechanic” and his or her job is to find out why your equipment isn’t working right. If you’re embarrassed to talk to the doctor about what is going on in your sex life, it’s time to find a new doctor. You should be comfortable talking to your doctor about everything. Your doctor can conduct tests that can tell you if an underlying medical problem is at fault for the painful sex you’ve been experiencing, or if it is just your anatomy.

Enjoy Each Other In Other Ways

Believe it or not, there are other ways to be sexual and intimate with your partner than through intercourse. Genital massage and oral sex are very popular, and some people enjoy anal sex instead of vaginal sex. Go to a sex therapist, or even visit an adult store (lots of online stores feature tons of products that you can shop for from the privacy of your own home) to find a few different things that you and your partner would like to try, and it’s a great way to get different ideas about positions, lubricants and male and female sexual stimulation.