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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Sex Tips & Advice

The Secrets Of True Sexual Confidence

By melody

Sexual confidence – or confidence at all, really – is a touchy subject. A lot of people believe they’re sexually confident, but inside they’re incredibly insecure, waiting for someone else validate their standing as a sexual human being. Most women know they’re insecure, but still try to hide it. How do we become truly sexually confident, accepting ourselves for who we are and the sexual human being we are?

Watch this video to find out what TRUE sexual confidence really is…. It’s not what you think! Visit our YouTube page and tell us what you think true sexual confidence is!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=799sC9lUvQY[/youtube]

Social Influences

Believe it or not, society dictates how we feel about ourselves. Should it be that way? No. Is it that way? Unfortunately, yes. The images in the media, in magazines and in commercials teach us what “sexy” and “beautiful” are and if we don’t look, act or talk in the way that the media depicts as “sexy” and “beautiful,” then we aren’t either. Unfortunately, society’s ideas about what sexy and beautiful are happen to be incredibly narrow. And even more unfortunately, we use this as a standard against which to judge ourselves.

Acceptance From Others

In addition to using society’s ideas of what sexy and beautiful are to measure ourselves, we also wait for someone else to accept us (usually our partners) before we accept and love ourselves. This is incredibly backwards, because often in a relationship, you must love and accept yourself before someone else can fully love and accept you and you can fully love and accept someone else. Looking at yourself through society’s eyes and through your partner’s eyes won’t get you far – instead, you need to look at yourself with your own eyes and find the love and beauty within.

Being Sexually Confident

If you’ve taken a step to love and accept yourself before expecting anyone else to love and accept you, congratulations. But it’s likely that other people in your life are still looking for your acceptance of them before they start loving and accepting themselves. Are you giving your partner the love and acceptance they want and need? If not, start! Talk to your partner about where you’re at in the relationship, and what you need to be in the relationship. Have open and honest communication with your partner of where you stand, so you can be loved and accepted for who you are.

It takes a lot to shed the human need to be validated by society, but it’s something each and every one of us must do in order to start seeing ourselves in a realistic light. Society’s ideas about what is beautiful and sexy are skewed, and we need to learn to see ourselves as sexy and beautiful for who we are – because sexy is who you are. Make that scary jump right now and decide that you’re not going to be worried about whether society says you’re too fat or too thin, not pretty enough or not sexy enough. Accept yourself for who you are and learn to be sexy in your own skin. Love and accept yourself before expecting anyone else to love and accept you, and you’ll feel, look and be sexually confident.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: confidence, have better sex

What Is The Best Age To Start Having Sex?

By paulcarlson

Teenagers (and some adults) are have been asking for quite some time, “What is the right age to start having sex?” Teens are asking because they want to know when they get the green card to let their hormones take control, and adults are asking because they want to know when they should give their teenagers that same green card. So when is the best age to start having sex, and does it differ from person to person and family to family?

So what is the right age to have sex for the first time? What’s the right age to enter into a sexual relationship? Here are our often controversial thoughts on this topic, and we want to know what your thoughts are on this topic – when do you think the best age is for someone to start having sex? Check out our YouTube page and leave a comment!  

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uoCHMyl5Fw[/youtube]

Be Safe And Be Smart

Before we start discussing what age you should or shouldn’t start having sex at, let’s address safe sex at any age. People can recommend that magic “age” all they want, but when it boils down to it, each person is going to make that choice for themselves. So whatever age you decide to have sex for the first time, make sure you’re being safe! Unprotected sex leads to sexually transmitted diseases and infections, and possible pregnancy. Don’t take a chance – use a condom or a dental dam, and know who you’re having sex with. No matter what age you are, if you’re having sex, you’re worth having safe sex.

Waiting

Of course for the younger generation, abstinence is ideal, but it doesn’t always happen that way. Teenagers and pre-teens are having sex and becoming sexual at an earlier age every year it seems like it. Middle schoolers are even beginning to have sex, and some late elementary school age children are starting to show signs of being interested in sex! Of course you want to wait as long as you possibly can. Even if you decide to wait until you’re eighteen, or until you’re married, it is still smart to be honestly and comprehensively educated about sex, about your options and about the consequences of sex. You always want to be armed with information before you make a decision.

A Good Age To Have Sex

Levels of maturity differ from person to person and morals and beliefs differ from family to family. Respect your moral beliefs, and respect your maturity. Women are often more mature than men, and may be ready for sex before men are. Teenagers, however, may not be ready for the consequences of having sex period and that is definitely something to take into consideration. It is your choice though to have sex, no matter what age you are. Once you’ve educated yourself about sex and know how to be safe and what the consequences (emotional and physical) of sex are, you’ll have a better idea if you’re ready or not. If you’re ready, make it special and make it safe. If you’re not, wait.

If you do, however, decide to have sex for the first time, don’t think there’s no going back. Just because you have sex once, does not mean that you have to continue if you don’t want to! You may not be a physical virgin again, but you can decide each and every time whether you want to have sex or not. If you have sex and regret it, don’t do it again. It’s always your choice.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: pregnancy, safe sex, sex education, STDs, teen sex

Have Better Sex In One Easy Step

By melody

If you’re looking to improve your sex life, you’re not the only one. Lots of married and unmarried couples of all cultures, religions and orientations want to improve their sex lives with their partner. There’s so much information on the Internet now, that it can be hard to find your way around sex tips, sex advice and what you should do if you want to have better sex with your partner. But we have it all right here – how to have better sex in just one easy step!

We all want better sex – right? Watch this video to discover the biggest problem that almost all couples have in their sex lives – and then learn how to fix it! Visit www.ThisIsGreatSex.com for more information on how to have better sex with your partner!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A1umt4FqOU[/youtube]

Talking To Your Partner About Sex

It sounds simple enough – have better sex by talking to your partner about what you like and don’t like in bed. Also, listen to your partner when they talk to you about what they do and don’t like in bed. Sounds easy, right? Not hardly! It’s simple, yes. But easy? Of course not. Why is it so hard to talk to our partners about sex? When we want to let them know we’d rather them go a little to the left, or let them know what they’re doing feels fantastic, we clam up and don’t say anything! Our partners (and ourselves on the flip side of the coin) have no idea if what they’re doing feels good or not, and we’re pretty much in the dark. But talking to your partner about sex is one of the most important ways to make sex better for both you and your partner!

Why You’re Afraid

Many people are afraid to talk to their partners about sex because they’re afraid of rejection. If they communicate to their partners what they want in bed, such as a fantasy acted out or trying out a new position, they’re afraid they’ll be judged or rejected by their partners. Out of self protection and self preservation of our own feelings, we subconciously choose not to share with our partners what we really want in bed, because we’re afraid they’ll judge us and reject us for it.

Another reason you might be afraid to let your partner let you know what they want in bed is that you’ll be expected to perform. What if you don’t do it right? What if they want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with? You run the risk, again, of being judged and rejected. So how do you get past this block of fear so you can finally communicate with your partner about sex and start to have better sex right away?

Do Unto Others What Others Should Do Unto You

First, stop worrying so much about yourself. Focus more on your partner, and let the rest come. Give your partner the 100% judge and rejection free freedom to talk to you about sex. Let them know that they are completely free to say what they would like to say to you about sex, and make sure they know that if they give you any feedback that it is completely welcome. Encourage your partner to talk to you about sex, listen and don’t be critical when they do. Let your partner know that it is ok to talk to you about sex. Soon, your partner will allow you to be free to talk to them about sex, and you will soon have fluid, back and forth communication about sex that will make sex fun and fulfilling for both of you.

Communicating In The Moment

Communicating “in the moment” is difficult – how do you let your partner know that something they are doing feels great, or doesn’t feel very good at all? The answer to this question is quite simple – if your partner is doing something that feels fantastic, be verbal! Make noises, show pleasure with your body and vocally as well. If your partner isn’t really revving you up at all, you don’t have to do or say anything! When they change to something that is working for you, make sure they know it! Also, if you fake an orgasm, you’re only hurting yourself. Your partner will assume that what gave you the “orgasm” will work the next time and the next time, and the only thing you’ve done by faking an orgasm is teach your partner how not to please you.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, sex tips

When Should You Talk To Your Kids About Sex?

By loveandsex

Sex ed is a hot topic these days, with teens making pacts to get pregnant and STD’s on the rise. Kids obviously need sex ed – but are they getting it? Who is responsible for teaching kids about sex, and when and how should it be done? Are schools responsible for sex ed? Are books or the Internet responsible, or how about movies, music and TV? No – you, as a parent, are solely responsible for your child’s sexual education. So when should you talk to your kids about sex?

What is the right age to tell your kids about sex? 8? 10? 15? 18? Watch this video to hear what we think about talking to your kids about sex. Visit our YouTube Page to comment and share what you believe is the right age. We also want to hear about your funny ‘situations’ – what’s the most awkward question your kids have asked you about sex? When did they ask it? How did they ask it? How did you react to the question?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-ze4BMCmIw[/youtube]

Why We Don’t Want To Talk To Our Kids About Sex

We don’t want to talk to our kids about sex because it makes us uncomfortable. Maybe our parents didn’t talk to us about sex, or we’re embarassed about sex. Heck, most of us can’t even talk to our partners about sex, let alone talk to our kids! But we’re adults – we’re supposed to have the answers. That’s what parenthood is all about. If you don’t know the answers, go find them and live up to the responsibility of being a parent. Maybe it makes you uncomfortable to talk to your child about sex, but how uncomfortable are you going to be when your twelve year old daughter comes home pregnant? Or your teenage son has caught a nasty case of Chlamydia or worse – HIV? That’s a pretty uncomfortable situation and you will then, of course, have to talk to them about sex and why they’re pregnant or infected with a sexually transmitted disease. Why wait until it is too late?

The Right Time Is Now

Okay, we don’t mean “now” as in right this second, especially if your kid is still in diapers. We mean “now” as in talking to your kids about sex when they ask about it. If they don’t ask you about it, it means they’re getting their information from somewhere else, because they will ask. So if they ask you about sex, take the opportunity to answer their questions in an age appropriate manner and be grateful they’re not asking their teenage friends or worse, relying on movies and television to show them how it’s done.

There are three keys that you need to know when taking it upon yourself to discuss sex with your child – first, wait until they ask, but let them know beforehand that it’s okay to ask and make them feel comfortable and safe when asking about sex. Second, answer their questions in an age appropriate way. If your child is eight and asking about sex, you can explain to them simply that it is how children are made. Third, answer your child’s question and only your child’s question. Just because they asked a question about sex doesn’t mean you have to launch into an entire birds-and-the-bees lecture. Often, children will be satsified that their question was answered and go on about their business. They’ll ask more and want to know more along the way – so let them lead.

Stop Making Up Fairytales

You’ve known for a long time that children aren’t delivered by the stork, and that hospitals don’t deliver babies as a package. You’ve known how babies are born, did it yourself even, and have known for quite some time how sex really works. So why make up a story to tell to your children for the time being, only to have to tell them it was a lie later? Don’t tell your kids that babies come from the stork, or any other silly explanation about sex so you can escape the sex talk until a later date. It’s the 20th century people. Grow up!

Lead By Example

You want your kids to grow up and have loving, healthy relationships in which they can have smart, safe sex right? You want them to never have to deal with a sexually transmitted disease or infection, and you want them to have a baby when they are ready. You want them to love and be loved by their partner for who they are, right? So show them what a loving, healthy relationship is.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: sex education

Is It Wrong To Be Bisexual? Should I Explore My Sexuality?

By paulcarlson

Many people experiment sexually when they’re young. How many “college stories” have you heard where a girl got a little more than friendly with her roommate? Being young is all about experimentation and finding out what you like, whether it’s something to do with sex, a job, music, art or even food. You’re learning about yourself as you’re growing up. So you may be experimenting sexually, but what would determine your sexual orientation? Are you bisexual if you have a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex? Or does it make you gay?

Is it OK to explore my sexuality – like being bisexual? Or does that make me gay?? What should I do?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO8JaH0utXk [/youtube]

Right Vs. Wrong

To answer the question – is it wrong to be bisexual or is it wrong to experiment with your sexuality – you must first decide what “right” and “wrong” really are. Technically, outside of religious context or outside of your own moral constitutes, there is no right or wrong anything when it comes to sex. Since the dawn of time, humans have done everything that is sexual, because essentially, humans are sexual beings. Only in more recent decades have society and religions began to dictate what we should or shouldn’t do sexually. So answer this question for yourself – what does my religion say about being bisexual or exploring my sexuality? What do my own personal morals say about it? If your own beliefs allow you to explore sex with different people, feel free to experiment sexually.

Sexual Orientation

If you’re experimenting with your sexuality and are having sex with people of your same sex as well as people of the opposite sex, you may be wondering if you’re technically bisexual or even gay. Exploring your sexuality, however, doesn’t require the use of a label at all. Most people experiment sexually at a young age, including in their late teens and early twenties. Most people have settled down in their sexuality at about 26 or so years old. So if you’re younger than that, don’t stress too much about what your sexual orientation is – it doesn’t have to be anything right now! If you truly feel that you might be one sexual orientation or another, think about which gender you think about when you have sex or even masturbate. Regardless of who you go to bed with physically, if you’re always thinking about one gender or another while having sex, you’re likely sexually inclined towards that particular gender. If it’s an even mix, you might not be ready to settle down yet.

Being Safe

If you’re exploring your sexuality, it’s important that you be safe and informed. Regardless of which gender you’re having sex with, you can still transmit sexually transmitted diseases and infections, as well as become pregnant or get another woman pregnant in some instances. Take the time to educate yourself about sex with both genders so you know what activities can transmit STD’s and how you can protect yourself. Many people think about having safer sex when they’re having sex with the opposite gender, but often sex with the same gender gets overlooked when it comes to protecting yourself. Don’t risk it – get in the know about STD’s and pregnancy no matter what gender you are and no matter which gender you prefer to have sex with. You’re worth it!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: bisexual, gay, homosexuality, safe sex, sexual orientation, STDs

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