Sex Tips & Advice

How To Bring Out Your Inner MILF

I remember when I first heard the term MILF. I spent time wondering what it was and ‘googling’ my way to becoming more informed on the code name. Coming across such websites as ‘milf hunter’ (kinky and somewhat funny because it’s so fake, in my opinion) and then realizing that MILF actually meant ‘Mother-I’d-Like-to-Fuck’.

I gotta admit, a devilish grin came across my face. Was this the category I was now in? No longer the fresh little kitty who could make men purrrr… Now I was identified as a ‘mother’ – it was different.

For me, the term MILF just inspires those of us who crave to hold fast to our desirable & sexual side of life. It means there is a SEXUAL creature under all of the “mommy-ness” that shields us.

Perhaps the ‘kitty’ had just evolved into a well experienced TIGRESS – and that was okay with me. After all, I happen to believe a true TIGRESS can make a man scream with passion v.s. a little kitty who can only entice a purr….

Losing Sight Of Our Sexual Prowess

On another note however, many women tend to lose sight of their sexual prowess once they become consumed by motherhood. It happens – a lot. It’s the tried & tested rule that most couples experience a lowering in sexual activity when children come into their lives.

I feel it’s so important for us “Mamas” to celebrate our sexuality and continue to harvest it. Too many women lose their individuality and the sexual connection with their partners with being so Mommy-focused.

It’s important to find the space where your sexual being still exists & to NEVER lose it. We all know who these Mommies are. They carry themselves well. They still have the swagger yet benefit from having more life experience and most often are in the throes of their prime sexual years.

Believe me, I take my kids to the park, I grocery shop with them, etc, etc. That doesn’t mean I can’t look good doing it! When you feel sexy, people know it.

I think in most cases a MILF is even more desirable then a fresh kitty. We are sexually mature women in our prime! We know what we want & more importantly, how to get it!

Bringing Out Your Inner MILF….

Bringing out your MILF-iest self doesn’t have to be a grandiose undertaking. Sometimes it’s the little things. Wear heels when you grocery shop, walk like you KNOW you’ve got a great thong on under those jeans.

Even the kinkiest of MILF’s can carry off that prowess with the just rolled out of bed look. A hot pair of sunglasses and some flirty lipstick is sometimes all it takes.

The important point here is that you BELIEVE IT! FEEL like you are the erotic sexual being you know exists beneath the surface of your Motherly responsibilities.

Not everyone with GREAT sex appeal is the best looking, but FEELING the sexual vibe can do a lot for yourself and your confidence and for getting noticed. Don’t dread your 30’s & 40’s ladies. WORK ‘em!

Isn’t this the age where we feel the most comfortable in our own skin? Take it a step further and exude your most sexually MILF-charged self!

Here’s to my MILF sistas of the world; never lose your swagger ladies! Someone is always taking notice.

His ‘N Hers Tantric Massage

By mayasilverman

Tantric sex refers to ‘Sacred Sex’ and can be a very powerful way to connect to your lover. In tantric sex, the terms “‘Yoni” and “Lingam” to refer to our nether regions.

“Yoni,” or Vagina, means “Sacred Place” and is said to be the source of Divine Female Sexual Power; “Lingham” or “Vajra” refers to the Penis and this term means “Wand of Light” and is said to represent Divine Male Sexual Energy and Consciousness.

The terms used in tantric sex are a far cry from the Western approach to using some not-so-pleasant terms to describe our nether regions. Partners are revered as a ‘Beloved’ and are to be valued, respected, nurtured and cared for.

Setting the Scene For Pleasure

Set the scene for your Tantric Night of Pleasure by taking the time to prepare a deliciously sensual environment. Put some thought into creating a warm, relaxing, and seductive space within which to begin your Tantric Yoni and Lingham massage, or His ‘N Hers Tantric Massage.

Your space should have:

A great location — make sure your space is warm and inviting

Soothing sounds — put on some relaxing and soothing music for a calm environment

Beautiful sights — as the Japanese saying goes, “The First Bite is With the Eyes.” Create a visually stunning atmosphere by decorating your space with colorful flowers or rose petals. You can also get together some cushions and place some meaningful or symbolic objects around the bed to represent a calm, safe and loving space.

Proper dress — dress yourself up and make an effort to look good for your partner. Make sure your personal hygiene is up to par, including brushing your teeth and smelling appealing. Make it sensual by taking a shower or bath together and remember that poor hygeine is one of the biggest turn offs in the bedroom.

Try to set some time aside for your Tantric Pleasure Experience as a way to honor your lover, develop skills, relax and focus the mind and spirit.

Massage your lover’s entire body for at least 30 minutes before starting your Intimate Tantric massage. By slowly charging up and circulating your sexual energy, the Yoni and Lingham will be more sensitive to your touch.

Massaging the Yoni

If you’re massaging your lover’s Yoni, start by resting one hand over the area and the other over her heart. Visualize energy from your heart flowing through your hands into her heart and Yoni.

This is a great way to balance emotions and to create a deeper connection between lovers. Lightly pour some warmed cold pressed, organic vegetable oils (sesame, almond, olive) over your hands and let the oil drip slowly over the Yoni and Clitoris.

Always start from the outside in. Start by teasing and caressing her outer lips, pubic mound, proceeding to the inner lips, and massage the opening of the vagina very gently. After at least 15-20 minutes of playful teasing, gently take the clitoris between your fingers and massage slowly (but not directly) around the sides and base.

Take Your Time

Remember you are building sensation and pleasure, so do not go straight for the kill. Take your time and layer the sensations.

If her excitement starts to build quickly, slow down and stop and encourage her to take a few slow and deep breaths.

Now you can gently insert one finger inside and massage along the inner wall. If she’s ready, insert 2 fingers and do the same. Always get feedback, and ask her what’s working best. Alternate by removing your hand from her Yoni and then massage her clitoris moving slowly toward the head. Give her at least 40 minutes of divine pleasure and feel her melt in your hands – literally!

For the Men

For your male lover, begin again by giving him a luxurious body massage for at least 30 minutes. Drip warm oil (vegetable, organic and cold pressed) over the Lingham or Penis, Scrotum and Perinuem (a small circular area between the Scrotum and Anus).

Gently massage up and down the shaft and very lightly at the head. Remember you are slowly building up a wonderful crescendo, so initially less is more. Massage the scrotum gently, all while getting feedback from him as to the pressure preferred.

The Perinuem is referred to as the ‘Sacred Spot’ by Tantrists and is great place to give him some incredible sensations. This is a very sensitive area, so apply only gently pressure using the tips of your finger in a circular motion for a few minutes at a time.

Increase the pressure of your strokes over and along the Lingham, and massage the head by twisting your hand in a left-right direction. If his sensations become too intense, stop and slow down, and encourage him to take some slow deep breaths.

(Do not use pure or diluted essential oils internally or near intimate areas and avoid oil based products – use only pure, organic vegetable oils such as olive or grape seed oils)

What is Tantra?

“Tantra” refers to the concept of ‘Expansion Through Awareness’ and by expansion we mean the opening of the mind and spirit, the deepening of the soul, the experience of pleasure and bliss and hopefully complete union with your lover and the cosmos.

Sexual energy is awakened through a variety of practices (tantric massage being one of them), channeled throughout your own body, between yourself and your lover, concentrated in the heart and directed to the Universe.

Sex therefore represents a movement of energy rather than a rush to the end, a masterful or stressful performance, or a sleeping aid at the end of a long and anxiety fueled day.

The slow, luxurious release approach of intimate tantric massage is always a welcome indulgence. So lavish the Yoni and Lingham with pure sensuality and divine love and attention.

The Real Secret To Sexual Mastery

By loveandsex

Tricks, without true sexual understanding, are empty, robotic… lifeless. Believe me, if sexual expertise simply requires rote tricks, then I would have simply thrown a bunch of cheap tricks to your face. We would have taken that route and my job would be much easier.

The real secrets of lovemaking are NOT suppressed, subverted, or reserved only for the sexual elite.

The opposite is true they are sinfully plain to eyes and deceptively obvious, that’s why very few men (or women for that matter), see them for what they truly are… MAGIC.

Their simplicity is their tragedy. These “secrets” are not hidden nor obscure, they are so self-evident that nobody really takes the time to notice them. They are easily taken for granted and nobody gives them second pass.

The biggest sex secrets are not moves, tricks or techniques. They are specific mindsets, beliefs and mental programming.

1. Visual VS. Multisensory

SIGHT will instantly ignite a man’s pants. The sight of a foxy chick can get a man going…instantly! How about a woman? How can you make her brain think, “Sex…now!?”

Well, women are MULTISENSORY.

Through the 5 SENSES, you can talk her brain to lust. By employing smell, taste, touch and sound, you can really get her going. (And that’s certainly good news for guys with skinny bodies and ugly faces).

Because of this sensitivity to various channels of sensual stimulation, Eve gets turned-on by a variety of things…things guys would never understand why.

We agree that curves are sexy — very visual. But women consider things like (1) the deep voice of a hunchback poet, (2) the sweet smell of mornings, (3) the rich taste of Swiss chocolate, (4) the warm breath fondling her neck as ‘SEXY’.

For guys, these are whacked. “What’s with the hunchback and poetry thing?!”

Moreover, men assume that women are highly visual like them, and guys still think their looks and external trappings are sufficient sexual come-ons. Starting today, when you think AROUSAL, go MULTISENSORY.

2. Physical vs. Psychological

Every time SEX is on the table, two elements come in focus there’s a PHYSICAL and a PSYCHOLOGICAL-
EMOTIONAL side. Physical refers to those luscious lips you long to kiss, that pair of erect nipples on a horny woman’s
heaving bosom and that firm body you long to be on top of.

Psychological-Emotional can refer to many things. Since sex stands on an interaction and symbolic basis, the issues of self-esteem, self-control, self-concept, self- confidence, dominance and sexual hang-ups come in. Also included are the feelings for the person you’re with… or the lack thereof. It’s your perception of the relationship, is it a one-night stand or a long-term thing?

Men are naturally dialed to the physical. Huge breasts. Tight ass. And of course—a freak in bed, willing to try every silly trick in the book. Still, it doesn’t mean the psychological-emotional issues never come in.

Women dig the Psychological-Emotional, and for many, sex presupposes an emotional connection. Not necessarily the “I’m so gonna marry this guy” feeling, but at least a feeling of closeness and comfort.

3. Process VS. Goal

This is the 3rd crucial difference between men and women. Women ask, “What’s with men? They want sex so bad, but when you finally give IT to them, they sure want it over as fast as possible!”

Guys are very goal-oriented. Look at everyday scenes and witness how we contrast with Eve. Take jogging at the park, for example. Observe how men and women go about this ritual and behold their idiosyncrasies.

Can you spot the differences?

Women are able to appreciate the view as they run, taking in the freshness of morning, sparing a second to marvel at flowers along the route. They are also more likely to smile at strangers along the way.

How ‘bout the men, how did we do? We were probably counting laps made, whilst cursing how many freakin’ more to go, constantly looking over those heart rate gadgets strapped on our wrists. Heck, we would gladly step over flowers just to get from point A to B! Men have a thing for goals. And this predisposition inevitably gets carried over to the bedroom displayed by an obsessive drive to 3 specific targets:

Goal # 1 = Take her clothes off

Goal # 2 = Slide penis in

Goal # 3 = Cum

But with Eve… it’s not so much the destination; it’s really more about the journey. WOMEN ARE PROCESS CREATURES. For them, sex is a moment by moment experience. (Hint to would-be great lovers)

With HER, she’s thinking, “Ok what’s happening, NOW… what’s he doing down there, NOW… Ohhhh what he’s doing NOW really feels good.”

Can you sense the critical difference? They are on different worlds and different time zones! Women are into process, the Present men obsess with goals in the Future.

So it’s quite difficult for the goal-oriented and process-oriented creatures to be on the same page. Is one more correct than the other? No, but men ought to look into process so they won’t miss the pleasures offered by along the way. If you’ve got eyes solely on the goal, you will miss on the beauty of the journey.

That’s not to say that women don’t bother if they cum or not, they just know that orgasms aren’t everything, and their quality depends so much on going through due process. Sextraordinary is found in the PROCESS.

The Three Paradoxes Of Great Sex

By loveandsex

These 3 mistakes all come from the “land of good intentions”, but still, they wreck merciless havoc on the lives of countless men.

I’m referring to the following:

1. The Paradox of Trying Too Hard
2. The Paradox of Thinking Too Much
3. The Paradox of the Simple Moves

1. THE PARADOX OF TRYING TOO HARD

Great sex will always be about FLOW.

One doesn’t need to press for it, trying too hard on any area will cause you to mess it up that’s a guarantee. The tragedy is that most men don’t even see this one coming and end up working against themselves the harder they try, the harder it becomes.

One of the temptations of having too many tricks in the bag is to unleash them in a grand overflow and put on a show. Needless to say, you’ll reek of the trying too hard’ vibe. Instead of dazzling Eve, you’ll turn her off for the vibe masks a specific fear the fear of inadequacy, that nagging feeling of not being good enough.

You’re afraid she won’t have a great time unless you pleasure the brains out of her, so you feel compelled to unleash every physical technique to compensate for a personal issue.

Like I said, this will backfire.

You don’t need to do everything don’t be an overeager yes-man. The rookie mistake here is trying too hard to please every woman, every time, with the hopes of being the best she’s ever had. You’ll end up pleasing nobody. Instead, learn to lean back and let sexual excellence come to you.

2. THE PARADOX OF THINKING TOO MUCH

Great sex is always UNCONSCIOUS; it’s not logical or rational.

The bedroom is not the place to think, and the absolute worst time to contemplate your insecurities, sexual hang-ups and skills. Deal with them BEFORE your next carnal encounter and AFTER your last one… NEVER DURING.

Calibrate… but don’t thresh-out psychological issues in the heat of things. Self consciousness and self-talk pull you out of the moment and into a negative spiral where you become sexually ineffective and out of touch.

Don’t be overly concerned with the mechanics and metrics of intercourse like the exact pressure or angle of your hand, or the direction of your thrusts. When it comes to the real thing — stop thinking — focus on your partner and immerse in the moment.

Don’t plan every move as if sex is a series of perfectly executed maneuvers. When you over-think things, you’ll mess up. The best crane operators don’t analyze every step… they just do it, the moves have become 2nd to nature.

If you think too much, I assure you that the sex will get worse instead of enjoying, you’ll be too busy figuring out the next best move. Just enjoy the process, take it easy and don’t be too hard on yourself.

It goes without saying that one doesn’t have to gun for sexual perfection… there’s no such thing. Afford yourself some mistakes and don’t make a big deal out of it. This is very, very important.

3. THE PARADOX OF THE SIMPLE MOVES

Great sex will always about the SIMPLE MOVES.

It is the aggregate of simple things, done in the right way and at the right time, that makes the world of difference. You have to drive that one in your head. THERE ARE NO BIG TRICKS.

This is not about big moves or magic techniques it’s about the snowballing of easy to do maneuvers. The biggest lesson here is understanding that it’s the small things that truly matter. It’s not about making extensive changes to your game, but simply tweaking it.

It’s learning to feel not just with your hands, but with your fingertips. It’s being in-tune not just for her screams, but even to her breathing. Not just about writhing bodies but little twitches.

Great sex is simple, (‘simple’ doesn’t mean ‘boring’), it’s not replete with shock-and-awe. The road to sexual greatness is not some hidden mythic trick, for the most elegant and effective moves have never been kept secret, they have always been there.

They just have been overlooked… if not forgotten. Being unpretentious, they easily pass off as insignificant.

So there you have it, The paradox of trying too hard, thinking too much and simple moves. Remember these three concepts when making love next time and you’ll come across much more confident, sexy and natural.

How To Give A Terrific Breast Massage

By mayasilverman

The eternal fascination for most men, and indeed many women, the breasts, can be an incredibly neglected and forgotten area in the realm of Tantric pleasure and touch.

Think about it. If you’re a man reading this, how much time do you lavish on her breasts?

Do You Have Tunnel Vision With Women’s Breasts?

The ‘Tunnel Vision’ approach assumes that a woman’s breasts are always ripe and ready for a bit of manual molding. Nothing could be further from the truth. The breasts and its many parts are very sensitive, and only a lover with a slow hand can truly appreciate them in full majestic glory.

Structurally they are made up of fibrous connective tissue and a layer of fat tissue. They are rich in blood and lymph vessels, hence the importance of massage in maintaining good circulatory flow of blood, lymph (tissue fluid) and sexual energy.

Perhaps more importantly the breasts are symbolic of a woman’s emotional center, healing and nurturing. By neglecting these lovelies, you fail to acknowledge an incredibly important part of the feminine mystique.

The Kama Sutra On Foreplay And Breast Plat

The Kama Sutra refers to the importance of foreplay and breast play:

“Ardent young men, do not neglect the preliminaries! Endeavor to satisfy your mistress. Listen to her desires. Some men, carried away by the power of their desire, forget the prelude, only to be surprised when they are pushed away later! Yet it is such a delight to kiss, to caress, to nibble one another…

To explore with your hand or your mouth her body, her breasts, her neck, her belly, down to her innermost curves. Fulfilled, the beloved shall return these kisses and caresses wholeheartedly. No part of the beloved’s body should be neglected. Her lover shall make it his duty to discover them, to reveal to his mistress all the pleasure she can receive from them.”

Tantric breast massage is an incredible gift with which to lavish unbridled attention on your lover. Pleasure, better circulation, toning, and nurturing are all aspects of the massage.

The Kama Sutra mentions key areas on the female body sensitive to kissing:

neck
forehead
cheeks
eyes
breasts
lips
palate inside the mouth (not sure how this works!)

Prepare Your Sensual Environment

Prepare your sensual environment with soothing music, dimmed lighting, perfumed candles and make sure the room is warm and visually inviting. Introduce items of spiritual or personal significance such as flowers, favorite nibbles, a photo – whatever works for you and your lover.

Begin by covering your lover with a sheet or towel so that she does not get cold. Rest one hand on her heart and the other on her yoni and visualize warm heart energy moving from your heart into your hands and down towards your lover’s heart and yoni. This is a very relaxing, healing, connecting and balancing visualization to use before launching into the breast massage.

Beginning the Breast Massage

Pour the warmed oils into your hands. Rub your hands together so as to spread the oil, and now place your hands on each of the breasts. Always massage slowly and gently up towards the heart, your right hand moving in a clockwise direction, and your left hand moving in a counter clockwise direction.

Massage from the outer edge of the breast inwards, but avoid the nipples until after at least 15 – 20minutes of breast stimulation. Don’t forget the skin above the breast (check area under the collar bone, as well as the skin under the breasts – two very sensitive areas).

Focus Your Attention One Breast At A Time

Now focus your attention on one breast at a time.

Place on hand lightly on the upper half of the breast, applying gentle pressure with the other hand again moving the hand in circular sweeps from the outer breasts in toward the nipples. Continue for a further 20minutes or more.

End the breast massage as you began, placing one hand on her heart and the other on her yoni. Visualize healing heart energy entering your lover and breathe slowly and deeply together for a few minutes. Allow her to rest.

If you’re not in a relationship, or just welcome the opportunity to nurture yourself and body, why not take the time to give yourself a great tantric and sensual breast massage. Once again, don’t be tempted to cut corners, take the time to create a sensual and erotic environment, dress to kill, get out your favorite relaxing music, perfumed candles, lie back and enjoy!